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Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by ibkayee(f): 1:04pm On Jun 17, 2020
anslem04:





For every demand i belief their should be a corresponding supply. yesteday i read a post, a lady challenged men to propose with valuables and properties instead of old fashion ring.. no wahala grin buh there is one question that as remained unanswered for centuries .. Q: Asides "sex" what can women supply.

Unanswered? A good portion of households function on a dual income, asides the childbearing/rearing and domestic work she will also contribute. Seems it’s only on nairaland that men are sole providers, but real life isn’t reflecting this, why is that?

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Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by saucecode(m): 1:25pm On Jun 17, 2020
ibkayee:

Unanswered? A good portion of households function on a dual income, asides the childbearing/rearing and domestic work she will also contribute. Seems it’s only on nairaland that men are sole providers, but real life isn’t reflecting this, why is that?
Real life, no woman wants to be sole provider or contribute more financially to her home when she has a husband,not even you. Now that's real life.

3 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Fountainofyouth(f): 1:28pm On Jun 17, 2020
pocohantas:


No disrespect meant, but you can ask your mum this question. Or ask your father what he has enjoyed asides sex. Or ask that your babe, the one you said wakes early in the morning to cook.

You can really get all the answers you seek within your family. Which I believe is a large enough sample size.

P.S, women don’t SUPPLY sex. Sex is mutual, enjoyed by both, all things being equal.


kiss bookmarked for future emphasis kiss

1 Like

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by saucecode(m): 1:29pm On Jun 17, 2020
pocohantas:


No disrespect meant, but you can ask your mum this question. Or ask your father what he has enjoyed asides sex. Or ask that your babe, the one you said wakes early in the morning to cook.

You can really get all the answers you seek within your family. Which I believe is a large enough sample size.

P.S, women don’t SUPPLY sex. Sex is mutual, enjoyed by both, all things being equal.
No disrespect meant,but how many of you girls today can boldly say you're as virtuous, enterprising, home building, financially supportive, as your moms?

If u like, come and shalaye again in your response

7 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 1:33pm On Jun 17, 2020
saucecode:

No disrespect meant,but how many of you girls today can boldly say you're as virtuous, enterprising, home building, financially supportive, as your moms?

If u like, come and shalaye again in your response

You quote people and try to use reverse psychology to make them not reply you?

Trolls will always be trolls.

6 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by saucecode(m): 1:33pm On Jun 17, 2020
pocohantas:


You quote people and try to use reverse psychology to make them not reply you?

Trolls will always be trolls.
Answer the question but don't shalaye

3 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 1:34pm On Jun 17, 2020
Fountainofyouth:



kiss bookmarked for future emphasis kiss

It is getting stale. Every time, what do women offer asides sex. Yet when same women breakup with them, they will create thread and gather to cry for 30pages. One would think they’ll be happy that someone who offers nothing left them. But then, you never know with Nigerian men...

4 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 1:35pm On Jun 17, 2020
saucecode:

Answer the question but don't shalaye

So your mothers were so virtuous that they couldn’t raise virtuous women? How? grin

6 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by saucecode(m): 1:40pm On Jun 17, 2020
pocohantas:

So your mothers were so virtuous that they couldn’t raise virtuous women? How? grin
Probably same way you all had wonderful fathers & mothers, yet they raised the irresponsible men and fck boys littered everywhere today.

But back to my original question, try answer am if e no too hard u biko.

6 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 1:42pm On Jun 17, 2020
saucecode:

Probably same way you all had wonderful dads who only raised the irresponsible men and fck boys littered everywhere today.

But back to my original question, try answer am if e no too hard u biko

Since you know we have so many irresponsible men and fck boys everywhere- why are you having headache that they have enough non-virtuous women to match them?

Isn’t that the cosmos balancing things? Ehn !!!grin

If you really want women like your mothers, there are lots of widows from that generation na. Marry one, after all, you guys marry foreign graves all the time. grin grin grin

5 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by saucecode(m): 1:43pm On Jun 17, 2020
pocohantas:


So, since you know we have so many irresponsible men and fck boys everywhere- why are you having headache that they have enough non-virtuous women to match them?

Isn’t that the cosmos balancing things?

Ehn!!!grin



How many of una dey like una mama? Simple question, you don dey shalaye dey go

4 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Nobody: 1:43pm On Jun 17, 2020
anslem04:





For every demand i belief their should be a corresponding supply. yesteday i read a post, a lady challenged men to propose with valuables and properties instead of old fashion ring.. no wahala grin buh there is one question that as remained unanswered for centuries .. Q: Asides "sex" what can women supply.

For every demand,there should be a corresponding supply? Are we discussing commerce here? Altruism truly isn't most of you forte but that's even not my problem but your entitlement of it is what I find disturbing. Corresponding my foot! Aside money what can men "who think like you" provide?

All of you with no value will just join the bandwagon to throw question around. And you expect me to start answering you? Wait! Like: Good day Mr Anslem, Alpha males, Nairaland users and my fellow ladies. I'm here to debate on a topic that says: Aside sex women can provide a lot, please hop on the train as we journey down to important roles Women play in our society. But first of all I will like to Define who a Woman is:
According to long man dictionary........ grin grin grin


Honestly, y'all feel so important to think your opinion count. grin

1 Like

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Romangalactic(m): 1:48pm On Jun 17, 2020
Boys, guys, men, MAKE MONEY OO. These girls on nl are only trying to appear like they don't care about it but we know wetin dey sup grin

Even the op must have received enough PMs because of this thread. It's not today we know naija women. They will tell you not all women care about money but just believe that for one second and your life is finished. cheesy

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Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 1:50pm On Jun 17, 2020
Romangalactic:
Boys, guys, men, MAKE MONEY OO. These girls on nl are only trying to appear like they don't care about it but we know wetin dey sup grin

Even the op must have received enough PMs because of this thread. It's not today we know naija women. They will tell you not all women care about money but just believe that for one second and your life is finished. cheesy

Nigeria has over half of her population living in poverty. Even you, your fiancee was fcked and impregnated by another man.

So? Is money really everything? Considering you have been working since I was a child and know a lot about quality wines.

6 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Dowenship(m): 1:55pm On Jun 17, 2020
GuyInTheMirror:
MODS PLEASE NO FRONT PAGE!!!

Hi everyone, so I am not a new member of Nairaland.
I decided to create this new profile so that I can be annonymous.
I was hoping to speak with some matured people here about the issue of marriage.

I am a 34 year old man who happened to immigrate about 2 years ago, I am a very gentle and highly ambitious person and God has blessed me.
I work for one of the biggest firms here in North America , I used to work in a great firm too back in Naija before immigrating.

Now to the issue of marriage, I am in a kind of dilemna.
I am the type of person that values marriage and a quiet life.
I do not smoke, drink or womanise. I am actually the type you'd call a church boy. I dream for a respectful wife whom I can love and adore and build a family with.

But it seems being in North America makes that complicated.
1. Majority of the women that surrounds me are in their 30s. I personally would prefer to marry someone not older than 26 years for personal reasons.
2. Many of these women are closet feminists and they tend to be much louder than the personality I am looking for in a woman I'd like to settle with.

I have attempted to start relationships with ladies that tend to meet my description back in Nigeria, but I became shocked cos it seems once a lady knows a man is abroad they become lovey dovey. They start to pretend like they are saints so that has put me off as I do not want a lady to pretend for me.

The options before me are :
1. Look for someone that is close to my requirement here and marry her and hope for the best.
2. Look for someone back in naija and marry and sponsor her to North America.
3. Wait for 2 more years, get my citizenship, come back to naija and blend in like a regular guy and try to meet a lady that does not know I am an abroad person to avoid pretense then try to get a babe. (In 2 years time I will be 36 years old, is this not too old ?)

I would like people with a lot of insight to educate me on what appears to be the best option.
I will adjourn you to pray and take action on what the Holy spirit instruct you...

Incase you need a ride while in nigeria, u can check my page or my signation for more info
https://www.nairaland.com/dowenship
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by saucecode(m): 1:56pm On Jun 17, 2020
pocohantas:


If you really want women like your mothers, there are lots of widows from that generation na. Marry one, after all, you guys marry foreign graves all the time. grin grin grin

I don't want women like my mother because they are not available. Very rare. I like gold-diggers who are proud of golddigging. They are the best to have as wives like Ybaby who is always hyping her provider husband for being totally responsible for her.

Now that's a true honest woman, it's better to have dat than to have una wey dey pretend say una no care about money, but will start eyeing your bf, disrespecting him when he can't buy u birthday gift, or even fcking your boss for a car.

Please we prefer proud gold-diggers, thank you. At least u know what you're getting cool

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Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 1:57pm On Jun 17, 2020
saucecode:

I don't want women like my mother because they are not available. I like gold-diggers who are proud of golddigging. They are the best to have as wives like Ybaby who is always hyping her provider husbands for being totally responsible for her.

Now that a true woman, it's better to have day than to have una wey dey pretend say una no care about money, but will start eyeing your bf, disrespecting him when he can't buy u birthday gift, or even fcking it boss for car.

Please we prefer proud gold-diggers, thank you. At least u know what you're getting cool

Why you dey shalaye for me? See epistle!!
It is good to see trolls type plenty...

6 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Romangalactic(m): 1:59pm On Jun 17, 2020
saucecode:

I don't want women like my mother because they are not available. I like gold-diggers who are proud of golddigging. They are the best to have as wives like Ybaby who is always hyping her provider husbands for being totally responsible for her.

Now that a true woman, it's better to have day than to have una wey dey pretend say una no care about money, but will start eyeing your bf, disrespecting him when he can't buy u birthday gift, or even fcking it boss for car.

Please we prefer proud gold-diggers, thank you. At least u know what you're getting cool
Lmao grin

2 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 2:02pm On Jun 17, 2020
saucecode:

Ahhh,who doesn't know Poco and her lusting for abroad niggas. She doesn't hide it sef. The person she's dating right now lives across the Atlantic.
She's so good and cool & she no see man to date for Lagos. A whole lagos

saucecode:


Now that a true woman, it's better to have day than to have una wey dey pretend say una no care about money, but will start eyeing your bf, disrespecting him when he can't buy u birthday gift, or even fcking it boss for car.

Please we prefer proud gold-diggers, thank you. At least u know what you're getting cool

saucecode:
Coco candy and pocohantas will not like this, especially the part about proposing and spending money


The thing about trolling is, you talk too much and begin to contradict yourself. It is quite understandable, considering your aim is always to attack... grin grin

5 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by saucecode(m): 2:06pm On Jun 17, 2020
pocohantas:

The thing about trolling is, you talk too much and begin to contradict yourself. It is quite understandable, considering your aim is always to attack... grin grin
Be proud of your golddigging my dear cool no come here dey try to deceive people like you are one of the minority that is not carried away by the idea of having an abroad man to upgrade ur status

5 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by jikins(m): 2:06pm On Jun 17, 2020
anslem04:





For every demand i belief their should be a corresponding supply. yesteday i read a post, a lady challenged men to propose with valuables and properties instead of old fashion ring.. no wahala grin buh there is one question that as remained unanswered for centuries .. Q: Asides "sex" what can women supply.


Totally unnecessary Q really. But then again it depends on who you attract.
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 2:08pm On Jun 17, 2020
saucecode:

Be proud of your golddigging my dear cool no come here dey try deceive people say you be one of the minority that are not carried away by abroad husband


saucecode:

Ahhh,who doesn't know Poco and her lusting for abroad niggas. She doesn't hide it sef. The person she's dating right now lives across the Atlantic.
L

Does that explain your contradiction? grin grin grin

4 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Nobody: 2:08pm On Jun 17, 2020
But why are you so bent on making a point and expecting him to accept it? He won't.
Don't you think you have typed too much already? I know this whole thread stinks of "battle of the sexes" type of narrative , but there are some people who will never see things the way you do. Don't get yourself worked up trying to make him accept your philosophy. Live stress free. Remember , this is just the internet.
annex1:
If for 32 years in Nigeria you never saw a "below 26 year old "who complemented this your personality. Then there was something wrong.

If 32 Nigerian years of your non-drinking, smoking and womanizing, you didnt have a lady who noticed this and and was endeared to you. Then there is something amis.

If for 32 Nigerian years of your being a "church-boy" didnt attract a Nigerian "church girl" My brother, something was definitely off.

Dont bother coming to Nigeria to lay-low like a regular guy to find a wife. What wife are you looking for that you didnt see in this same 32 years when you were a "natural regular guy"?

And for you stereotyping by suggesting that most Nigerian ladies would fall face down because your home is now North America is an all time low. This is possibly what is subconsciously not allowing you give any of the Nigerian ladies in Nigeria a chance. So that mirror you were looking at while creating your username, look deeply into it, see the problem. Attack the problem.

And also stay calm. There are ladies with typically good - wife attributes around you. You are in a diverse environment now so be open minded. That's what you wanted. Except you are in dire need of a Nigerian woman and in that case refer to the 5th paragraph.

1 Like

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by saucecode(m): 2:10pm On Jun 17, 2020
pocohantas:


Does that explain your contradiction? grin grin grin
It is not. You are the one full of contradictions by trying to act as one humble miss amaka who doesn't like money, when everyone already knows u can jump and squat for dollar

7 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Nobody: 2:12pm On Jun 17, 2020
jikins:


Totally unnecessary Q really. But then again it depends on who you attract.
It takes one with value to see value in another. There is a common thing about those who ask such questions, most of them lack sense and value... Just imagine!

2 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 2:13pm On Jun 17, 2020
saucecode:

It is not. You are the one full of contradictions by trying to act as one humble miss amaka who doesn't like money, when everyone already knows u can jump and squat for dollar

Explain this please... Stop to dey shalaye...

saucecode:

Ahhh,who doesn't know Poco and her lusting for abroad niggas. She doesn't hide it sef. The person she's dating right now lives across the Atlantic.

saucecode:

Be proud of your golddigging my dear cool no come here dey try to deceive people like you are one of the minority that is not carried away by the idea of having an abroad man to upgrade ur status

grin grin grin

3 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Nobody: 2:14pm On Jun 17, 2020
ibkayee:

Unanswered? A good portion of households function on a dual income, asides the childbearing/rearing and domestic work she will also contribute. Seems it’s only on nairaland that men are sole providers, but real life isn’t reflecting this, why is that?


On the contrary i think its only on nairaland, women pretend there money is there spouse money. in my world here, men are sole providers ... my friends that are married what there wives do is to borrow/loan them, loan dey either repay peacefully or by war grin grin ... women smh !
That been said, i also agree there women out there who contribute or even the breadwinner, buh you should know minority don't count.
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by annex1: 2:16pm On Jun 17, 2020
KevUnique:
But why are you so bent on making a point and expecting him to accept it? He won't.
Don't you think you have typed too much already? I know this whole thread stinks of "battle of the sexes" type of narrative , but there are some people who will never see things the way you do. Don't get yourself worked up trying to make him accept your philosophy. Live stress free. Remember , this is just the internet.

Lool. You didnt see me putting a knife to his neck to accept did you? Or where did you read that I'm forcing down his throat?

He posted a public topic and expected public replies. I posted public reply. If its not bothering him but bothering you then you have a problem.

And if it's a problem to you, start learning to unlook or advise him to look for another forum that has private topics so he can invite whoever he wishes to contribute privately.
Till then, live stress free yourself.

2 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 2:25pm On Jun 17, 2020
saucecode:

It is not. You are the one full of contradictions by trying to act as one humble miss amaka who doesn't like money, when everyone already knows u can jump and squat for dollar

I am waiting...

How did I go from this; A PROUD GOLDDIGGER,
saucecode:

Ahhh,who doesn't know Poco and her lusting for abroad niggas. She doesn't hide it sef. The person she's dating right now lives across the Atlantic.


To this... A PRETENDER. In less than 24hrs grin

saucecode:

Now that's a true honest woman, it's better to have dat than to have una wey dey pretend say una no care about money, but will start eyeing your bf, disrespecting him when he can't buy u birthday gift, or even faking your boss for a car.

3 Likes

Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by saucecode(m): 2:29pm On Jun 17, 2020
anslem04:



On the contrary i think its only on nairaland, women pretend there money is there spouse money. in my world here, men are sole providers ... my friends that are married what there wives do is to borrow/loan them, loan dey either repay peacefully or by war grin grin ... women smh !

That been said, i also agree there women out there who contribute or even the breadwinner, buh you should know minority don't count.
Even the minority are not happy about it, of course we appreciate them but we all know they would rather not be in that position. grin

7 Likes

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