This may be a long read, bear with me.

I am 28 years of age, graduated five years
ago, the only boy in a family of six and the oldest among them

The attitude I now bore emanated from my time in high school, I was 15(SS2) and this said girl was 13(JS3) we had a fight then,(my not too pronounced girl friend) and she literally told the school of how little my dick is, how weak I am in bed, how she has been managing me. I was shocked, bittered, embarrassed and humiliated I was nicknamed tooth pick and stripped of the labour prefect I recently acquired.

I saw hell from juniors and mates alike.you can imagine "senior tooth pick", some of my class mates tried to stop the stereotype but it was late for the jesters and me alike. I developed hatred for women it later turned to pride and then ego set in. In my head there were noting special about women to me anymore, all emotions gone. I stopped talking to most girls, our conversation always end at greetings. After graduating from high school, I went to stay with my cousin.

During my stay at my cousin's I encounterned my first test a girl from our church came to visit my cousin, when she found him unavailable she demanded I have sex with her while undressing, I strongly turned her down, not because I didn't want to, but because I wanted her ego shattered. There was this orgasmic feeling I had when I saw her face. Although I was verbally bruterlized by my cousin when he found out what happened.

I got admitted into one the state universities in the East. This school I had some rules when it came to women

1) Never ask a lady anything no matter the circumstances.( I don't mind starving than break this rule, that doesn't deter them from asking anyway).

2) only greet and move ahead (mean face).

3) Never complement any lady no matter her phisycally appealing she is.

4) Never go to any ladies room(this was hard to keep because of dues and stuff)

I kept this rules to the later. Most girls love me for this( some even verbally acknowledged it ) it gave me the "most matured" title and thus, the 001 tag as it popularly called. Ladies trusted me because of this. Their is this girl that wouldn't ask any guy for help except me and also mandated her siblings to do the same.
Note: I am average looking, not academically astute as the assume( because of how serious I appear, the all assumed I most be one the A stars in my class).

But my biggest challeges started in 300lvl I have just been made hostel president then. There was this girl every guy dream, epitome of beauty had a very rich boy friend(later got married to him) she never lacked anything fondly called "access denied". Because of how her unreachable she is to the eulogisers. When she steps in all guys will lose control sexually eulogizing her, like the do to all other girls anyway, while i sit and observe. In my heart she was beautiful but to my mouth, nothing special. I had this school of thought on total control over ones body, "while will someone body make me lose control over mine".

Fast forward to a stars filled Friday night most hostel occupants went for the weekend. " access denied" came to my room, I was shocked she has never come to my room before, I remembered her asking whether I was alone which I nodded in affermity. She told me that her friends are disturbing her (she has this two friends that normally spend the night in her exotic room) she came in and layed flat on my bed, after few minutes she told me that she is not wearing pant I said OK while trying to digest what my ear lobe just swallowed. She asked me whether I know what that means while smiling I said yes but not in the mood, her face literally turned to a Halloween costume, she left and never responded to my greetings till she left the hostel. the feeling I had was out of this world. Basking in the euphoria, I told some of my course mates very early on monday expecting praises, but got verbally brutalised instead. I had to take solance on two girls who backed me. This was the big fish in the pond, others only gave greenlight which I intentinally interpretated as red.

Pls I need help, I don't know wether any guy has passed through this before and how you were able to overcome it. I can't hold on to relationship. I lose interest before it starts when I started this emotionless atitude towards ladies I thought I will overcome it when I am ready to marry but it is have beclouded me. I can't ask a lady out because in my mind I will be like, why stoop so low?, why the stress?, what can they bring to the table?.
The ones that take the bull by the horn, I make sure I turned them down to make them feel bad.

Note: I am not gay and actually watch porn sometimes strictly for entertainment not for pleasure.

13yrs now I have been like this. Please nairalanders help advice me thanks.

At 15 you were having sex with a thirteen year old ??


Mtchewwww


Fake news

Lies

I am very sure I wasn't the only person that perceived the smell of this lie from a far

Hmmm

Interesting. The first step to your redemption is Acceptance which you have done by your thread. The Next step is Forgiveness/closing gaps, Forgive that jss lady,close the bridge you've created between you and Women. Be happy and open your heart to Love.

this is how am reasoning your case,

waiting for the elders

OP u sure say u truly need help btw, how u take dey cure konji

You need to start making friends intensionally with women.

Must nairaland guys are nuts, they only care about money and will tell you to stay away from women (as if dem mama go born dem if dem papa stayed away)

Next time you see a lady you like, talk to her like you are taking to your guy. Make friends with her, but watch out for leeches and emotional blackmailers so you don't end up feeling worse towards them

umarshehu58:
Lies

I am very sure I wasn't the only person that perceived the smell of this lie from a far

As in ehn...

I could perceive this piece was a well embellished lie

I thought I was the only one having this feeling

What! Are you me, or Am I you? You just described me totally except I was never hurt or humiliated by any girl, and I don't get "orgasm" by turning girls down (but it can be sweet, especially when the beautiful lady thinks she is the śhit) .

Martinez39s:
What! Are you me, or Am I you? You just described me totally except I was never hurt or humiliated by any girl, and I don't get "orgasm" by turning girls down (but it can be sweet, especially when the beautiful lady thinks she is the śhit) .

So how are you him or how is him you?

"she told the school of how little my dick is, how weak I am in bed, how she has been managing me"

A 13 years old said this? Omo

Normalize not exaggerating stuffs mehn. It will make you bright.

I hope you find solution to your problem too.

SenorFax:
You need to start making friends intensionally with women.

Must nairaland guys are nuts, they only care about money and will tell you to stay away from women (as if dem mama go born dem if dem papa stayed away)

Next time you see a lady you like, talk to her like you are taking to your guy. Make friends with her, but watch out for leeches and emotional blackmailers so you don't end up feeling worse towards them

i do talk to ladies all the time, although it may be difficult for me to woe them.
Once any guy start admiring a lady, I instantly detest her. And start looking for what is not perfect about her.
Thanks for you advice.

Manuel69:
"she told the school of how little my dick is, how weak I am in bed, how she has been managing me"

A 13 years old said this? Omo

Normalize not exaggerating stuffs mehn. It will make you bright.

I hope you find solution to your problem too.

I am not exaggerating sir, we had a serious fight (beating) she said that at the heat of it, but because I was quit popular then everyone picked on it.

cappucino925:
At 15 you were having sex with a thirteen year old ??


Mtchewwww


Fake news

what is fake about it, mind you some student were having it at 12 in the same school. It was rampant in my school then.l know it is not a good thing(story for another day). I don't want to mention the school, I was very popular before and after the incident.

umarshehu58:
Lies

I am very sure I wasn't the only person that perceived the smell of this lie from a far

I am not lieing everything you read there happen.

Palema007:
Interesting. The first step to your redemption is Acceptance which you have done by your thread. The Next step is Forgiveness/closing gaps, Forgive that jss lady,close the bridge you've created between you and Women. Be happy and open your heart to Love.

Thanks for ypur advice.
I have forgiven her (although I wanted God to punish her then). I don't hold anything against her anymore, although the behavior I picked from her insult, have become a habit. BTW she is married now with kids.

Sundrus:
OP u sure say u truly need help btw, how u take dey cure konji

Konji dey go as it take come, my state of mind. Once I remove my mind from it nothing happens.

Martinez39s:
What! Are you me, or Am I you? You just described me totally except I was never hurt or humiliated by any girl, and I don't get "orgasm" by turning girls down (but it can be sweet, especially when the beautiful lady thinks she is the śhit) .

Lol no be small thing ooo, the first time I said WOW to a lady...because my guys them were all saying it, it was like Nigeria just won the world cup with shouts of "Dave just said wow"

Davidganna10:
Konji dey go as it take come, my state of mind. Once I remove my mind from it nothing happens.

Anyways sha man no fit cheat nature...konji get the way e take dey express itself knowingly or unknowingly. I been dey like u. Na good books way i dey read including bible help me out. E bring out the soft side of me.

Davidganna10:
Lol no be small thing ooo, the first time I said WOW to a lady...because my guys them were all saying it, it was like Nigeria just won the world cup with shouts of "Dave just said wow"

To solve a problem, you need to identify and eliminate the roots cause.
And what's the root cause here? Your high school girlfriend that publicised your petit sized dick, thus humiliating you and ignited that hate for women.
But fear not, the solution is nigh.
You need to locate that your high school girlfriend for a rematch. Yes! You need to fucck her with your now enlarged(I hope) schlong till she screams and revokes that derogatory remark she made about your Aso rock several years ago.
It is said that a man's dick when erect,leads the way.
Your dick hasn't moved on from that traumatizing experience years ago. You need to pacify your Aso rock in order to be set free from this psychological prison.

Disclaimer: what I just delivered should not be considered as expert advice.

Davidganna10:
i do talk to ladies all the time, although it may be difficult for me to woe them.
Once any guy start admiring a lady, I instantly detest her. And start looking for what is not perfect about her.
Thanks for you advice.

Be her friend. Even if another is trying to toast her, once you see she has your attention, tell her you want a relationship with her

Martinez39s:
What! Are you me, or Am I you? You just described me totally except I was never hurt or humiliated by any girl, and I don't get "orgasm" by turning girls down (but it can be sweet, especially when the beautiful lady thinks she is the śhit) .

So we plenty like this. Me don turn down three good girls when toast me. If you see the joy eh. Big fish dem ooo guy

My guy,

Your case is somehow similar to mine. Ever since a girl rejected me during High school days, i detest women in their entirety. I find it difficult to have any emotion with regards to women. I find it extremely difficult to even waste my time wooing or complimenting a girl. I just dont know what is wrong with me. I also spent my 4years in the university without a girlfriend.

I am not GAY!!
Sometime i think may be its because of my upbringing, religion and culture.
Hausa Muslim Orphan

Op please talk to a psychologist or a therapist. It is a mind thing and if you really want to, you can get rid of it.

EASYGURU:

So we plenty like this. Me don turn down three good girls when toast me. If you see the joy eh. Big fish dem ooo guy

Oh boy. I know no, me too deh suffer the same thing and I no want healing to am. I want deh laidis till I die. E get one girl weh chat me up, fine babe like this oh, deh expect me make I carry the chat go but men! I just deh look am as she deh fumble like person weh never write English before for her life. Lol

cappucino925:
At 15 you were having sex with a thirteen year old ??


Mtchewwww


Fake news

in primary school some of my mates don dey nack. Mr op sadism at work

Righteousness89 will soon come and preach for you.

Lmaoooooo...


Your story is so damn funny...

I laughed my ass out@ the Halloween costume part. Women hate rejection like die....it makes them mad.


I think your issue started from the tiny dick stuff...is it bigger now? Whether yes or no, I like your style of humor and writing.

Keep giving it to those gehs hot hot.