I'm in a similar situation right now. Thanks for being completely honest. The feeling of jealousy, as well as other negative emotions made me conclude that sometimes, our thoughts are not efficient enough to control our emotions.

I don't want to be jealous, but most times I find myself helplessly feeling that way. No matter how much I try to control it, it just lingers.

Humanoid01:
I'm in a similar situation right now. Thanks for being completely honest. The feeling of jealousy, as well as other negative emotions made me conclude that sometimes, our thoughts are not efficient enough to control our emotions.

I don't want to be jealous, but most times I find myself helplessly feeling that way. No matter how much I try to control it, it just lingers.

correct .

Jealousy is a tricky emotion abi feeling (whichever anyway)... sometimes if not careful, one won't know they are jealous of someone else.

The person go just dey act out anyhow for no reason. I think jealousy in itself is not bad, it's just like every other emotion (anger, joy...).

The problem is what we do with the emotion (jealousy). If we act on it, that's where the problem lie.

The easiest way is to try to be cool anytime we come in contact with the person we are jealous of and not react to them based on contempt or some really bitter feeling.

If they try to rub off their progress on your face, use style give them space. Your sanity is priority.

No mattter how hard it seems, the bulky task of getting out of the envy zone is on us.

Liliantalks:
Patiently waiting for reasonable comments

i would like to commend you for the boldness to discuss this as not many people can

anyway, this is more common with those who are not doing anything for themselves very much. i suggest you create a space between yourself and that person. the fewer times you come in touch with that person, the less likely you will have to deal with that issue.

also, you can try to take interest in understanding reality or existence. make this your way if life. as you keep doing this, you will not notice it, but your values and beliefs will begin to change. other people will be the ones to tell you you are now a better version of yourself. you will begin to ''smell'' nice that even the people you jealous now, may turn back and begin to admire you.

i have never seen anyone who has taken up philosophical and scientific inquiry as a lifestyle and regretted it.

one of the first things you will notice, if you are very observant of yourself is that you become more conscious of human being and the totality of his experience be it historical, biological, evolutionary, politically, etc. you will be filled with inmense love for him, mankind. you know his issues, and not only that, you also know the solution to it and can solve his issues. can you please remind me the key to success again? that what one needs to do in order to be successful (which ever way you define success, but it will be sonething that gladens your heart) is to find mankind's problem and solve it! so when you begin to see this in yourself, you know you are on the right track. actually, you are not the one to notice it. people notice it in you and tell you. that's how it works.

you may even come to a point that you now notice what you jealous your friend for, are just little things. but you don't become arrogant by that realization. this is how it is, philosophical inquiry!
hope this helps.

I’ve never been jealous of anyone in my life. The closest I’ve ever gotten to jealousy was wishing it was me experiencing the good part of life. however , the feeling doesn’t last long or linger in my heart or mind.

I see things in a childlike way. The innocence of a child whenever they see something new is to stare in wonder and amazement.

Learn to rejoice in people’s happiness. Rejoice for those who are rejoicing. Don’t let jealousy to take hold of you. simplify and neutralize the expectations of yourself against the good in people’s lives cos it’s not their fault things are going well for them.

Don’t self compare.. indulge your heart in happiness whenever people are happy.

I’ve never envy or jealous anyone cos it’s a waste of time and every man for itself against life .

MiddleDimension:

i would like to commend you for the boldness to discuss this as not many people can

anyway, this is more common with those who are not doing anything for themselves very much. i suggest you create a space between yourself and that person. the fewer times you come in touch with that person, the less likely you will have to deal with that issue.

also, you can try to take interest in understanding reality or existence. make this your way if life. as you keep doing this, you will not notice it, but your values and beliefs will begin to change. other people will be the ones to tell you you are now a better version of yourself. you will begin to ''smell'' nice that even the people you jealous now, may turn back and begin to admire you.

i have never seen anyone who has taken up philosophical and scientific inquiry as a lifestyle and regretted it.

one of the first things you will notice, if you are very observant of yourself is that you become more conscious of human being and the totality of his experience be it historical, biological, evolutionary, politically, etc. you will be filled with inmense love for him, mankind. you know his issues, and not only that, you also know the solution to it and can solve his issues. can you please remind me the key to success again? that what one needs to do in order to be successful (which ever way you define success, but it will be sonething that gladens your heart) is to find mankind's problem and solve it! so when you begin to see this in yourself, you know you are on the right track. actually, you are not the one to notice it. people notice it in you and tell you. that's how it works.

you may even come to a point that you now notice what you jealous your friend for, are just little things. but you don't become arrogant by that realization. this is how it is, philosophical inquiry!
hope this helps.

any books u recommend

Liliantalks:
any books u recommend

no book to recommend to you.
first of all, i would ask you to look around you...what do you see? plant? animals? stones? stars? clouds, sun, moon, etc? the stars twinkle at night? the clouds, do they form beautiful shapes? the sun, does it feel warm and energizing as it rises? and almost mysteriously beautiful as it sets? finally, look at yourself, a bag of different biological systems working together. then turn and look at other people around you. do they exist in different shades of skin colour and behaviour? look at all these things again and become filled with awe as you behold their beauty. let it get to a point you instinctively ask the question "from where did all these things come; how come all these beauty". as you ask that, let yourself be guided by your mind as you now move to find out answers to those and more questions.

let your mind lead you where ever it goes. look into scriptures, books on philosophy and science looking around in a non obsessive way, but just in sheer wonder and the fulfilment and joy that comes with the "ahaaa" moment when you finally find something profound. when you look in a place and things are not adding up, do have the gut to probe further. you will not find all the answers and that's because not all of existence has been exlplored. maybe you can help us to know more what we don't yet know.

you will not find all the answers in the materials you will explore. the answers you will find are not those ones told you by someone else, but that which you find out by yourself. afterall, enlightenment has to be done for yourself by you. that's how things are! if enlightenment is done through other people instructing us, then all the people who went to school, would have been enlightened. but no, that's not the case! it is a disposition of the mind which you have to out yourself in.

Jealousy is a feeling I don't usually have, but anytime it comes I just tell myself that the person I'm jealous of might have a connection I don't have or money I don't have. So instead of being jealous just become friends with the person and get that connection.

Another way of dealing with the issue of jealousy is being content with what you have. Just ignore what the person has and be ok with who you're and what you have.

Jezking:
Jealousy is a feeling I don't usually have, but anytime it comes I just tell myself that the person I'm jealous of might have a connection I don't have or money I don't have. So instead of being jealous just become friends with the person and get that connection.

Another way of dealing with the issue of jealousy is being content with what you have. Just ignore what the person has and be ok with who you're and what you have.

thanks for the contribution.

Callertunez:
Jealousy is a tricky emotion abi feeling (whichever anyway)... sometimes if not careful, one won't know they are jealous of someone else.

The person go just dey act out anyhow for no reason. I think jealousy in itself is not bad, it's just like every other emotion (anger, joy...).

The problem is what we do with the emotion (jealousy). If we act on it, that's where the problem lie.

The easiest way is to try to be cool anytime we come in contact with the person we are jealous of and not react to them based on contempt or some really bitter feeling.

If they try to rub off their progress on your face, use style give them space. Your sanity is priority.

No mattter how hard it seems, the bulky task of getting out of the envy zone is on us.

I concur

Liliantalks:
Jealousy is an inevitable snicky feeling , it’s a feeling that you always are in denial of ,, maybe cause u don’t want people to see you as a bad person, but truth is it happens to everyone but they never want to admit it, but here in a faceless forum, I think we should talk about it , how do u cope and how did u overcome . For the first time I feel like I am jealous of someone , I really don’t want to , but it’s happening , I really want to get rid of the feeling but hasn’t been easy , I hv watched a lot of YouTube videos in other to stop , it helps! but not enough. I know my own blessing is coming , I hv pep talk myself million of times. But the feeling won’t go away. Been in denial about it but just kinda admitted to myself , that it is what it is.
The feeling of why can’t i get it when she got it , now she would feel she’s better than me. I feel like totally avoiding this person, but she hasnt done enough for me to take such action. Yeah it’s a crazy feeling. How do you overcome this feeling..

To the self righteous that’s gonna write nonsense on this thread. Na you get ur mouth .

Ma'am, u can only stop it wen u bury it in Ur mind that Ur own tym to succeed will eventually come either u pray or not, u sin or not, u jealous or not.
Dat is my code

Ginaz:
I’ve never been jealous of anyone in my life. The closest I’ve ever gotten to jealousy was wishing it was me experiencing the good part of life. however , the feeling doesn’t last long or linger in my heart or mind.

I see things in a childlike way. The innocence of a child whenever they see something new is to stare in wonder and amazement.

Learn to rejoice in people’s happiness. Rejoice for those who are rejoicing. Don’t let jealousy to take hold of you. simplify and neutralize the expectations of yourself against the good in people’s lives cos it’s not their fault things are going well for them.

Don’t self compare.. indulge your heart in happiness whenever people are happy.

I’ve never envy or jealous anyone cos it’s a waste of time and every man for itself against life .

kudos but my thread is actually for people who hv experienced the feeling , not people who hvnt .

OlawaleBammie:



Ma'am, u can only stop it wen u bury it in Ur mind that Ur own tym to succeed will eventually come either u pray or not, u sin or not, u jealous or not.
Dat is my code

it will definitely cm that’s for sure ,, hopefully soon

Liliantalks:
it will definitely cm that’s for sure ,, hopefully soon

then why the unnecessary jealousy?


E dey tey before I feel jealous oo..ahh e dey tey.

OlawaleBammie:
then why the unnecessary jealousy?


E dey tey before I feel jealous oo..ahh e dey tey.

u can see I wrote this is the first time i am experiencing this emotion, that’s the way I feel, it’s not unnecessary , it’s a validated feeling. E Dey tey but u don get that feeling b4 right ? Fullstop

This happens to everyone , but only a few are discipline enough to identify this emotion, people who actually emotionally evaluate themselves, and trust me , that’s a strength many people don’t hv ,, people who are jealous don’t even know they are jealous or are in denial ,, the minute u WISH for what someone else has , my dear u are jealous,, and when yu get close to that person u feel that rush of emotion u want to subdue , so u don’t expose that feeling, cause trust me jealousy is a very very dangerous feeling , the minute u say this is jealousy, you are saved and you know how to control yourself . Yes I feel jealous too , and the best remedy is giving the person some little space while focusing on ur goals . If it’s about your friend being in a relationship, that’s something u cannot control , no matter how u try , so focus on ur career and other things with all u hv got , when the time is right it will happen, remember God’ Time is the best .

This is a very underrated thread

jealousy kills
destroy positive things about you

best way to overcome it is that believe that GOD will also bless you

Liliantalks:
correct .

the best way to deal with such feelings to leave your life completely is to correct your faith and believe system. what do I mean by that? when you have faith in God and believe that he that did that for others (your friend) will definitely do yours. it was their own time that's why God did it for them, when my own time also comes God will do it for me. jealousy comes when you don't have faith that your own will come, making you think others are better than you. so work on your believe and faith system and you will see that nonsense feelings leave you. remain blessed

[quote author=Liliantalks post=91570905][/quote]


Then stop looking at what she has and look at her like a friend. You have to work on yourself. Occupy yourself, pray, think about productive stuff. It'll pass. Its a feeling that pops up but we should never dwell on it. Wanting something like what she has is not bad... But wanting exactly what belongs to her is bad. Now if its the former, just work on yourself and keep you occupied.

Crunchyg3:

the best way to deal with such feelings to leave your life completely is to correct your faith and believe system. what do I mean by that? when you have faith in God and believe that he that did that for others (your friend) will definitely do yours. it was their own time that's why God did it for them, when my own time also comes God will do it for me. jealousy comes when you don't have faith that your own will come, making you think others are better than you. so work on your believe and faith system and you will see that nonsense feelings leave you. remain blessed

thank you .

Descortes:
lol. Did I lie?

You are jealous because your friend got a cheerful giver of a man and you've never had such a man.
I vividly remember a thread where you lamented of always getting stingy men

I have told you.. you go OLD

Liliantalks
Ignore fools please.

It's okay to be jealous
Everyone gets jealous
Me,what I do is I get busy with something that I hardly have time to think about that shit or I get close to the person I'm jealous of..spend time and gist with her
It helps

Preshieben:
Liliantalks
Ignore fools please.

your Mother is a bigger fool for not attempting to abort a worthless rotten fruit like you

Brainless Dingbat

Liliantalks:
Jealousy is an inevitable snicky feeling , it’s a feeling that you always are in denial of ,, maybe cause u don’t want people to see you as a bad person, but truth is it happens to everyone but they never want to admit it, but here in a faceless forum, I think we should talk about it , how do u cope and how did u overcome . For the first time I feel like I am jealous of someone , I really don’t want to , but it’s happening , I really want to get rid of the feeling but hasn’t been easy , I hv watched a lot of YouTube videos in other to stop , it helps! but not enough. I know my own blessing is coming , I hv pep talk myself million of times. But the feeling won’t go away. Been in denial about it but just kinda admitted to myself , that it is what it is.
The feeling of why can’t i get it when she got it , now she would feel she’s better than me. I feel like totally avoiding this person, but she hasnt done enough for me to take such action. Yeah it’s a crazy feeling. How do you overcome this feeling..

To the self righteous that’s gonna write nonsense on this thread. Na you get ur mouth .

Jealousy is felt by everyone. It's part of being human. What separates good people from bad people is letting the feeling of jealousy overwhelm one and influence one's decisions. Don't try to stop the feeling, you can't, just follow your head and be happy for your friend, wish her well, and don't have any ill intention towards her.

One thing you must also realise is that life is not fair. Some will have, some will not. Just work hard and hope for the best.

Descortes:
In your thoughts: She got a rich and very generous man who pays her monthly alawee. Why can't i get someone like that


at times we don't get to have what we're too desperate for..
Dey wait for man wey go carry your financial burden...

You go OLD

ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT" THERE IS NO UNIVERSAL RULE IN HUMAN LIFE"

just because someone makes it at a certain time, does not mean everyone will make it at that same

[quote author=Liliantalks post=91570905][/quote]
take am easy o,sister. it's very well obvious ya headed towards the edge of desperation.
make una chill oooo
everybody get their time o.

MiddleDimension:

no book to recommend to you.
first of all, i would ask you to look around you...what do you see? plant? animals? stones? stars? clouds, sun, moon, etc? the stars twinkle at night? the clouds, do they form beautiful shapes? the sun, does it feel warm and energizing as it rises? and almost mysteriously beautiful as it sets? finally, look at yourself, a bag of different biological systems working together. then turn and look at other people around you. do they exist in different shades of skin colour and behaviour? look at all these things again and become filled with awe as you behold their beauty. let it get to a point you instinctively ask the question "from where did all these things come; how come all these beauty". as you ask that, let yourself be guided by your mind as you now move to find out answers to those and more questions.

let your mind lead you where ever it goes. look into scriptures, books on philosophy and science looking around in a non obsessive way, but just in sheer wonder and the fulfilment and joy that comes with the "ahaaa" moment when you finally find something profound. when you look in a place and things are not adding up, do have the gut to probe further. you will not find all the answers and that's because not all of existence has been exlplored. maybe you can help us to know more what we don't yet know.

you will not find all the answers in the materials you will explore. the answers you will find are not those ones told you by someone else, but that which you find out by yourself. afterall, enlightenment has to be done for yourself by you. that's how things are! if enlightenment is done through other people instructing us, then all the people who went to school, would have been enlightened. but no, that's not the case! it is a disposition of the mind which you have to out yourself in.

see correct pikin.
nice one bro.

My darling sister, I understand that feelings. But let me tell you how I overcome mine when ever that feelings creeps in.I do ask myself .....do you know the burden such a fella carries? If you wish to take his/her success, can you take her burden?(that stirs my confidence back) . because in life we all have one issue troubling us.

All these glitters you see people display on net, most are very sad inside their closet. Most of the married women around me are just begging God to rewind the hand of time so they make (maybe) better choices of husbands because there is nothing that smells happiness in their homes.

BUT if you see them with their spouses on social media.. Hmmmmmm. You will hate God for ur life.
Sister, don't allow people's achievements give you sleepless nite, just husttle smart, live a happy life, eat healthy, look good with time things will fall into places.
Not all that glitters is Gold....hope you haven't forgotten that �