Hello house,
can you go with this marriage, you see somebody you want to mary,after many yrs of relatnship,you comfronted your parents and they say tipical/capital NO,my question is what wil you do? Do you go on with your parents & leave your wife to be or do you go on with your marriage & leave your parents.
Pls kindl drop your sugestiom as to whot you wil DO.i wil be back in a givy time. One love.

That depends on your priority list. If you can't hurt your parents and value them more than anything and anybody, then bid farewell to the girl. If you think you can go ahead with the marriage and later convince your parents, then so be it. Most parents budge once a baby comes into the family. Good luck!

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^^

chaircover:

Baby blackmail doesn’t always work o! And I have heard of instances where the MIL hates both the wife and her own grandchildren. It is a very bad move to come between a mother and her son by force.

Nobody is talking about USING a baby to sort out problems between parents and the wife. A baby has to be there to make a family complete. Once somebody gets married, one of the primary questions they are asked about the arrival of the new member. And in MOST CASES , grandparents, that too first time grandparents, often swallow their pride and accept the son & dughter-in-law during such times. Only a mother/father who genuinely love their children can love their grandchildren. People who do otherwise and cling on to their ego till their last breath should be plainly termed wicked and foolish !

marketer11:

Hello house,
can you go with this marriage, you see somebody you want to mary,after many yrs of relatnship,you comfronted your parents and they say tipical/capital NO,my question is what wil you do? Do you go on with your parents & leave your wife to be or do you go on with your marriage & leave your parents.
Pls kindl drop your sugestiom as to whot you wil DO.i wil be back in a givy time. One love.

Hmmm, all I know from this forum is that polls after polls after polls always leans to obeying one's Parents because it is important to obtain their blessings, but IMHO, yes they gave birth to me, and I know their concern is out of love, but I am the one going to be living with my chosen Husband so their resistance would further drive me into his arms, to infuriate them and drive them into a tizzy.


Now, if the marriage starts waivering and we start stumbling and struggling, it is their duty to remind myself and my Husband, with love, that we are in it for the long haul and have signed on for life, and offer us hints and tips and wise sage to forge on, and if all else fails, God forbid,  it is their duty to offer a shoulder to cry on, and remind us that life goes on and help us forge ahead amicably, in order to avoid the unavoidable acrimonious situation that can easily set in, especially if children are involved.

naijafrend:

Most parents budge once a baby comes into the family. Good luck!

I  must have read about this "if it is the parents against it, use baby to tie him down" at least 5 times today in different posts on NL, thought the old school of thought  used to be "you can't use a baby to tie a man down", well what do i know, times a-changing sha, guess i need to move out of the slow lane I agree too that most Naija parents are selfis, devious and cunny and need to get a life, especially with the reasons they come up with for why their children can't marry their choice, but someone they desire

Sorry oh, Naijafrend aka the owner of NL, don't think i was just gonna have the audacity to quote you for free oh, i have every intention of paying my dues, was just about to ask how much you charge per second to post, feel free to round it up to the nearest minute too, na money go kill am

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@ CC

True. Since his parents have already voiced their reservation about the girl, there seems to be little or no hope for this couple. I sincerely hope he comes up with a solution to sort this issue in the best possible manner.

With the wisdom and benevolence I see in your posts, I'm sure you will be a good MIL and an even better Granma !

It's not thee best to go into marriage without yourr parrent's consent. Try to find out what the reeasons for their objection are. If it's valid, then look for someone else, if it's not, find ways to convince them to accept your girl.

if your parents do not consent and you go ahead with the marriage, it will cause a strained relationship between your wife and them and they'll continue to find faults in your woman.

chaircover:

BB Have you thought about being BasketMouths side[/b]kick . . . . a bit like Paul Daniels and his beutiful Debbie

Lady Chaircover, wetin kwonsain me with the nothing wey dey Basketmouth's [b]sides, now feel free to hit me up when he has any position up[b]front[/b] where all the action is jare

Better ask the parents why they are kicking against the marriage, after listening to them u can make a better decision,dont just disregard their opinion.

One of the reasons you are an adult is too make decisions you can stand by especially when it comes to tying the knot,by now you should know that your parents are not always right.Since you have lived with your parents you can judge where they are coming from if they are ethnic champions and suffer from superiorty complex or if they are just looking out for you. Also sometimes because your parents are dispassionate observers they can see/ sense the kind of woman/man u have brought home.

@poster so where were the parents during dating? Didn't they say anything about that union before?
I will say that if anyone is serious about their relationships then they would have make that meeting happen much earlier.
The fault is all on the brainnless child who knows his parents better than us all.

You will need to first listen to what concerns the your parents have first, then go from there.
They may have legitimate reasons why you should not marry such a person.
For me. . . I would listen first, then make a decision.
No knowledge is wasted.