satelliteDISH:
This one nah mumu thread.
My brethren click like if this thread makes any meaning to you. Click share if you value my jokes more importantly than the thread.
*B4 u start building a relationship find out who owns d land becus it might be a community land. Am I making sense? or I should mind my business*
This morning, one cute girl was just staring at me, I was blushing….. Until she came closer and said “Come,,,,, u look like one groundnut seller that ran away with my change”……….**
*I fainted*
Ladies after washing, cleaning and cooking for your boyfriend and he said “the guy that will marry you is very lucky” my sister hit him hard on the head with a frying pan for a manual brain reset...
*Sometimes a lot of people know things about you not because you told them, but because one person you are close to; talks too much.
*A little girl ran to her Mum and said "you refused to tell me the name of the thing hanging between dads legs, well I have finally figured it on my own. ITS A TOOTHBRUSH." Then Mum laughed and asked the daughter "who told you that?" The girl replied, "When I came back from school, I saw the maid kneeling in front of Dad, brushing her teeth with Dad's TOOTHBRUSH. Then I saw plenty of TOOTHPASTE in her mouth"...*
*The maid's burial is this Sunday .*
Don't kill yourself for any woman because when you die, she will come to your funeral with another guy. It happened to me twice.
*THOSE who got pregnant during the LOCKDOWN, I hope your pregnancy is doing well. We expecting the babies oo in December and January. You think we are forgetting.
*Dear Ladies, pls remain in ur house for now.or still walk in groups and avoid late nights movements cos Prisoners wey never bleeped for 5 yrs above dey town Konji full their body oo*
*Na Advise oo*
*The way I'm broke erh, something is telling me that I should share envelopes saying that my church is doing project. God will definitely understand*
*Date someone who's really focused and can make you laugh your ass out. A good example is me.*
But unfortunately am taken, keep scrolling.
*Dating two short girls at the same time is not cheating*. *look at the Mathematics*
�: ½ + ½ = 1*
* I am standing close to one door in one hotel now and I am hearing BABY END ME I AM YOUR SARS. Which one be that one again
*I heard that Oba of Lagos’ staff of office has been placed for sale on Jiji @ N10million. They even described it as fairly used... Lagosians why now.
*I wanted to inbox a girl in this forum. As soon as I typed ‘hi’ auto correct changed it to ‘ *HIV* ’ . I stopped right there . It was a sign from my ancestors
*A rapists entered a bedroom, tied up a husband and wife…kissed the wife’s ear and went to the bathroom….The husband said to the wife “Satisfy him or he will kill us, be strong. I love u”. Wife replied: “He didn’t kiss me, he whispered in my ear that he is a gay, he need vaseline and i told him it’s in the bathroom, so be strong i love u too….!!! Husband fainted.
*Sex is sweet, sex is sweet.*
If i test it and its not sweet,
*I swear i will not be happy with you people*
*Which lady here can help me with 10k urgently, I don't mind if you sleep with me first before giving it to me*
The Bakery!!*
A Woman Sends a Text to Her Husband;
_’Honey, don't forget to buy bread when coming home from work and your girlfriend Folake greets you.’_
Husband:
_Who is Folake?_
Wife:
_Nobody, I just wanted you to answer, to have confirmation that you saw my text._
Husband:
_But I’m with Folake right now, I thought you saw me?_
Wife:
_What??!_ _Where are you?_
Husband:
_Near the neighborhood bakery._
Wife:
_Wait, I’m coming right now!_
After 5 minutes, his wife sends a message:
Wife:
_I’m at the bakery, where are you?_
Husband:
_*I’m at work._*
_*Now that you’re at the bakery, buy the bread!_*
*Women will always be women. You can't take away gossip from them. Even when they are pastors, they be like: "LET'S REMEMBER SISTER SERWAA IN PRAYERS, SHE HAS HIV."*
Chaiiiiii, it's right there in their genes.
*my Neighbor slapped me today and I didn't say anything to him,*
Because he is the only one that have generator in the compound! If I slap him back where will I charge my phone to post jokes.
I'm not your bro, I know my sisters.
Don't call me bro. I want to see ur
unclothedness and touch bress.
That's what I heard a guy telling someone's daughter behind my window last night.
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