I have been married for about 12 years now. We are blessed with a child. For close to a year now my husband stopped performing his duties as a husband saying he is tired of the marriage and that I should leave his house. At first I refused but after much pressure, quarrels and fights I finally left his house. After about a month of my leaving , I  met a man who appreciates me and is ready to bring me the moon if I want and he is also ready to marry me. My question is how long should I wait before saying yes to the man of my dreams? or should I go back to my old husband as he has come begging for reconciliation which many friends are supporting because of my child. Shouldn't  my happiness count? Please help me sort out my emotions. Let me hear from you guys what you think I should do.

You should be happy by yourself, having done it ALL.
Most marriages sour after 10 years, then die for 10 years.
Too bad you will miss out of the sweeeeeeeet ressurection. The best part of marriage.


I repeat, the BEST part of married life, especially where you need an OLD friend for old age, not a gigolo who only jeeeeeeessss wanno phock ya for ya money!

NEW partners feel like the best, till you are familiar with their curses/baggage.

No, you cannot go back to your ex. He too has learned you do NOT quit on a marriage, but you keep working in it.

Once you leave a relationship, NEVER go back.
Now, you will find out that there ain't no such thing as finding happiness outside YOUR own world.

A miserable married person is always less miserable than a once-married(separated/divorced) person.
No matter how bad, there is SOMETHING you are gonna miss about an ex-spouse.

The grass is NEVER greener on the outside. Once you are married, you STAY married!
Better to remain single and NEVER get married, than get into marriage and jump out!
You will regret it, for the next one is ALWAYS worse!

Sorry o!

I must conclude Blazay is FEMALE.

hope2007:

I have been married for about 12 years now. We are blessed with a child. For close to a year now my husband stopped performing his duties as a husband saying he is tired of the marriage and that I should leave his house. At first I refused but after much pressure, quarrels and fights I finally left his house. After about a month of my leaving , I  met a man who appreciates me and is ready to bring me the moon if I want and he is also ready to marry me. My question is how long should I wait before saying yes to the man of my dreams? or should I go back to my old husband as he has come begging for reconciliation which many friends are supporting because of my child. Shouldn't  my happiness count? Please help me sort out my emotions. Let me hear from you guys what you think I should do.

Research shows that 70% of second marriages end in divorce. Nothing guarantees success or happiness, no one can predict the future. I'm not going to advice you to go back to the old man but I will ask you, and what if after 10 years, this new guy doesn't work out ? What will you do ? You can't keep hoping from one man to the other after 10 years. So think hard about this one ---- but the choice is yours!

//

obowunmi:

I must conclude Blazay is FEMALE.

You mean the only married couple using the same handle on NL?

Even though you go back to your Husband, i am definitely sure you will still play with other men, because your heart belong to somewhere else.

Make your choice but you have heard the truth.

Blazay:

You mean the only married couple using the same handle on NL?

I'm lost. Does Mr and Mrs Blazay use the same account --- kool.

chaircover:


In the midst of all of this please spare a thought for a confused kid who one minute was calling Mr A daddy but has now suddenly got a new daddy; Mr B in a matter of months.

I don't advice any mother to allow her child to call new boyfriends/new flings ---- daddy and I'm sure the OP is smart enough to know this.

obowunmi:

I'm lost. Does Mr and Mrs Blazay use the same account --- kool.

Yup!

obowunmi:

I'm lost. Does Mr and Mrs Blazay use the same account --- kool.

Actually, 'Mrs. Blazay' abandoned her account to use her husband's own . . . I wonder why!

1 month is toooooo early.Not possible to meet someone,study the person well enough and fall in love within a month.
Lust . . . maybe

@Post

In one month after you left your husband you met someone else,already inlove and thinking of marriage? LOL this is funny You better think with your head and stop thinking with your heart and puccy. Think about your daughter, what exactly has the separation done to her psychologically/mentally? or you don't care? all you care about is your new bobo

You need to be slapped back to reality

Actually I knew this new guy while in the university. We dated for close to 2 yrs then broke up. I now met up with him again and everything went roller coaster from there. Don't judge me too harshly when u didn't live the kind of life i lived with my husband who was always drinking, womanizing and inflicting all kinds of emotional distress. I only stayed long because of my child and in African context the woman makes the home and will be  blamed if anything goes wrong. A lot of married women suffer in silence because of this. When the gbege was too much I had to give way so as to retain my sanity. He behaved as though I was an enemy. I'm out of the house and he now wants reconciliation which I know very well wont last. Am I wrong in having second and third thoughts? . Pls this is a very serious issue. I need unbiased answers.

Lol I knew you must have known the other guy some how. How did you guys meet up again after so long? were you in contact with him when you were still with your hubby?who contacted who first?you contacted him didn't you?

Listen dear, do not rush into anything yet. You just came out of one do not go into another yet. You need time to sort out your issues first and be there for your daughter. That gurl needs you right now, she should be your utmost priority, that gurl is trying to get used to "no daddy" right now and you are here talking about getting your selfish self another man

Your posts are based on your new guy, yourself and your hubby. What about your daughter?

Lol I knew you must have known the other guy some how. How did you guys meet up again after so long? were you in contact with him when you were still with your hubby?who contacted who first?you contacted him didn't you?

We met on facebook about a year ago. He didnt say anything then as I was married but immediately I left the house and he had ascertained my mind was made up he made his move and I needed a shoulder to cry on, the rest is history.

My son must be a bit relieved because the fights were getting too much for a small child like that to handle. He's in the  boarding house, that's why the house became unbearable for me .

hope2007:

My son must be a bit relieved because the fights were getting too much for a small child like that to handle. Hes inthe boarding house thats why I couldnt stay without him in the house again.

Must be? so you don't know and haven't even spoken to him yet. Just assuming.

2nd off you don't sound like someone who's in dire need of advise. Your mind is made up

Do whatever you wanna do.

The situation is more complicated than that. My husband has a child outside and he's always flaunting both mother and daughter in my face at any given opportunity. I can't take that nonsense anymore. If it was just my husband and I no problem, I would have still managed the situation but with this other woman in the mix I don't know how long before my sanity gives way.

Nobody has told you to go back to your husband yet, so no need for all these talks and excuses

What alot of us are saying is this : DO NOT RUSH INTO ANOTHER ONE YET. simple


BTW you haven't answered my previous questions

How did you guys meet up again after so long? were you in contact with him when you were still with your hubby?who contacted who first?you contacted him didn't you?

Second off: why did you guys(you and your present guy) break up during your uni days?

@ Hope, baby girl move on with your life. If ure lucky enough things will work out with ur new beau. Just sure in another 10 yrs, u won't leave this new bobo. Goodluck! You only have one life to live and you are only accountable to yourself and children.

I told you we met again on facebook. We broke up because he was not ready for a steady relationship. Too many friends and money to live large.

@hope,

Don't jump into another marriage yet. Give it time!

You don't want to end up in another broken marriage. Give urself space before u take a step u might later regret!

Cheers

@OP
One month after a failed marriage u already thinkin of going into another?!

No offense, but IMO, U've being seeing the 'old then new' guy before, even while u were married and still wt ur hubby, or hw else do u go make up ur mind to marry him just 1 mnth after leavin your home (BTW ur mind's already made even before u came to NL, u are only tryin 2 luk for justification to get married 1 mnth after ur previous one). How sure are u that this ddnt add more sour to ur marriage, u probbly tot of an easy way out and started correspondence with ur 'old then new' bf. I tell u God does not sleep, if u had gone to him fervently, a better way would have been suggested to u.

Pls not judging you here, neither am I sayin u shld accept ur HUSBAND back, jst that it says "what God has joined 2gether let no man 'old then new' put asunder." Think about it even if only for your son!

jennykadry:

What alot of us are saying is this : DO NOT RUSH INTO ANOTHER ONE YET. simple

This just about sums it up.