hahn:


Naija go record your Bleep up use am about you when your eye don clear

Before nko?na who drunk and high Shame go catch na!

When I landed in Spain the hotel I lodged, immediately I saw the wall socket with light I quickly rush to bluck my mobile phone. Forgetting I wasn't in Nigeria

eddyline:
e be like say if I find myself over there, I'd really embarrass myself no be small.

You will adjust na.
Mine own experience;I always called everyone Oga and says sir whenever anyone called my name.
At the end I was nicknamed Oga sir.

make una help... I want to leave this countree

First week in the UK and winter was just starting. I had a hair cut cos I wanted to change my style from afro to skull without having a winter cap on me. I regret am oh

OwenJesse27:


Lolzzz why you nor beat her collect am

He will be on the next flight to hell fire called Nigeria

Mine was first week I was entering the lift to go up to my.brithers apartment and I saw my neighbors kid who just bumped into my way and walked past I pulled h back and asked can't you greet?

Well the police officer understood it was my first time there

samwash:
One tin when shook me pass
You buy cloth for shop, you return ham after 2wks , them still give you change ontop the mata, say the cloth price don reduce since you buy ham.
I wonder if a very honest Nigerian will do that.
They will say God don answer their prayers.
Am not sure if I will do that either.

Even if you pay and you never still comot from d shop Ipob man will never give u your money again. He will rather tell you to add money to take another one

Saltybear:
Mine was first week I was entering the lift to go up to my.brithers apartment and I saw my neighbors kid who just bumped into my way and walked past I pulled h back and asked can't you greet?

Well the police officer understood it was my first time there

lol, pure Nigerian.

HalpyBee:

Good evening ma, Good evening sir

Lol

Pele ooo... Omoluabi

This thread funny gan

sinkhole:
That is too much now, even here in Nigeria when your Prof says I'm OK, you better back off be dat otherwise some Profs will rain insult on you if you insist

In naija during under graduate days , one lecturer tagged me an arrogant person cos I don’t collect bags from him when he’s walking to the class .

OwenJesse27:


Lolzzz why you nor beat her collect am

Hehehehe .. I suffer for my undergraduate days cos say I no Dey collect bag for one lecturer hand when em dey come class .. na that mentality I Carry go abroad make same no repeat emsef oo . I no know say Oyinbo lecturers no Dey send eye-service thing

AdemolaA2:


In naija during under graduate days , one lecturer tagged me an arrogant person cos I don’t collect bags from him when he’s walking to the class .

Yeah, I understand but if you offer to take the bag and the person declined, please do not insist!
It is part of our culture here to always help an elderly person, who may be clearly weak but if the elderly person declined the help then respect that too.

sinkhole:
Yeah, I understand but if you offer to take the bag and the person declined, please do not insist!
It is part of our culture here to always help an elderly person, who may be clearly weak but if the elderly person declined the help then respect that too.

Yes ooo .. you’re right !!!

I had hit submit, without answering question nine in one of my exams. Partly, because I was pressed for time, but mostly because I wasn't confident of a-how to approach it. Got home, took a bath, ate, flexed as per thank God I'm done with exams, slept and woke up the next morning to my prof's email, asking why I did not attempt question nine and to do so and resubmit, within 30minutes of receiving the mail.

Na dia my mouth hang.

Calling them Professor this, Dr that, engineer this, it makes them freak out. They think you are trying to “bribe” them. It puts them off completely. Better stick to their first name, even if he is old enough to be your dad. It took me sometime to adjust to that. And I was looked on with suspicion until I adapted to it.

Many of our boys have entered trouble with their girls who flirt with them. Our men are too quick to misread their signals. And they got their fingers burnt big time. Some of them spent time in prison for sexual harassment.

Another thing is looking down instead of looking straight in their face during conversation. If you look down in U.K., you are timid. In Dubai, looking straight in the eyes of a woman brings you trouble.

You dare not help a fallen old woman on the street, you might be in trouble. Call the ambulance and leave her, don’t help her to stand.

Never you walk on the same side of the street while a woman is coming directly at you. She will feel threatened unless it’s a busy street. Choose to cross to the other side especially at night.


Yes, we have used a blender for 1 year and returned to John Lewis. They replaced it even though nothing wrong with it.

gurujoe:
When I landed in Spain the hotel I lodged, immediately I saw the wall socket with light I quickly rush to bluck my mobile phone. Forgetting I wasn't in Nigeria

I am shocked by these culture shocks!
God when?! When dem go shock me sef.
In fact, electrocute me with culture of white people.

SimplyFacts:
You returned a jacket after two weeks, got another & still collected balance

That is too nice to be true


I can only keep my sanity by nursing the thought that Naija must have a satellite site under construction somewhere

You can buy show for someone in naija and still return it when you travel back. On some conditions though, the label is still intact and you ve the recept and within the return date. when buying things you should ask of their return policy. no b say u don wear am finish go gbensh dem come dey return am

lascos912:
you will adapt within a month

Adapt within a month? That's an exaggeration.

There's a lot to learn and it takes more than a month to learn the ways and doings of your new society.

I'm writing from a personal experience.

Tookool:
My guy cast him job twice ...he said he's an ESTATE MANAGER working in Texas, client say "oh sorry scammer, we call it REALTOR here"
Second time e say "NETWORK no good" client talk say it's "SIGNAL over here"

don't mind those Americans, always wanting to make u feel bad. I went to buy my bicycle and I asked if it has been assembled, they were all looking at me, they called about 3 different staffs and non could tell what I meant till another passerby said "built".... see all of them saying "oooh". I just jeje carry my bike go house.

Fidelismaria:
Naira land = Twitter old threads dumping ground.

Your new trends are on which platform?

In Manchester UK, two teenage boys kissing at the bus stop.

Just yesterday one of our major directors was dragging about 7 bags to work.

We got to the sanitization dock and after I was done, I offered to help with some bags. He rejected outrightly.

On the contrary, he just requested i help him hold the door open.


-----------------

Last month I received a medal because I bought cupcakes on international women's day. Small cheap cupcakes, yet the impact was overwhelming. The appreciation was over the roof.

SimplyFacts:
You returned a jacket after two weeks of purchase, got another & still collected balance

That is too nice to be true


I can only keep my sanity by nursing the thought that Naija must have a satellite site under construction somewhere

I returned a socks I bought three weeks ago, got a new one plus gift card.

Last year I got essential oil diffuser for free because the price on the shelf was different from what showed on the self check out machine after I scanned it.

Every nairalander don travel out before,but na still nairalander you go find the worst assholss

Mine was this splitting of bills. My coursemate called me one evening and said "mate, let's go out for dinner". We met at a pizza place with 5 other people, both boys and girls.

"What should we order?"
"What are you going to eat, bruv?"

The whole question thingy and I was excited about the experience. It was my first time going out to dinner with a group of white people. We later agreed on a large pizza with cheese crust, drinks and all.

When we finished eating, as a Nigerian I was expecting the boys to contribute randomly (You know one person brings 10, another one drops 5 etc) sInce the bill wasn't that much.

I was shocked when one of the boys brought out a scientific calculator and was sharing this bill with military precision. He looked at me and said "Yo, you ate the crust, your bill is 4.20". I was like "WTF!! Am I not suppose to eat the crust?" I felt weird that day. Shame no gree me look the girls for eye.

If you dare ask a white person this question, "How was your night"? You will ever regret asking that question. Those who can relate will understand

Rocktation:
I had hit submit, without answering question nine in one of my exams. Partly, because I was pressed for time, but mostly because I wasn't confident of a-how to approach it. Got home, took a bath, ate, flexed as per thank God I'm done with exams, slept and woke up the next morning to my prof's email, asking why I did not attempt question nine and to do so and resubmit, within 30minutes of receiving the mail.

Na dia my mouth hang.

Ah! This one shock me o. Long time rocky!

wristbangle:


Ah! This one shock me o. Long time rocky!

Yeso..how are we?

I have had several shocks oo..but ehnnn, na that day I really carry armpit up for oyinbo

luckingto50:


Even if you pay and you never still comot from d shop Ipob man will never give u your money again. He will rather tell you to add money to take another one

You just get ham, na their attitude be that.