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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? (15010 Views)
Poll: Which Do U Prefer?Modern Day Marriages: 43% (56 votes)Olden Day Marriages: 56% (73 votes) This poll has ended |
Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? / Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. / Olden Days Vs Modern Days Marriages (2) (3) (4)
Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by Brite02(m): 1:32am On Apr 08, 2011 |
State your reasons & why? |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by Blazay(m): 10:25am On Apr 08, 2011 |
Modern marriage of course. Reason? Women have rights! It is no longer a man's world inside or outside the bedroom. What a man can do. . .a woman can dooooo gooooooder! If you dun like it. . . .move out of the house. 1 Like |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by ifyalways(f): 10:52am On Apr 08, 2011 |
A mixture and a balanced dose of both. Reason;The values and sense of our grandmothers is an effective tool in handling the challenges of the modern family unit. |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by seedord247(m): 1:00pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
ifyalways: I know no say if you finish school oooooo |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by Odunnu: 1:04pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
Modern marriage jor,when it becomes boring and intolerant,either/both couple may agree to disagree and hump unto the next ride. |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by ifyalways(f): 1:09pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
seedord247:YOU did not. Deal or die with it. |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by 190: 1:10pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
I prefer olden marriages why dad asked my mother out with greeting cards and gave her Hisbiscus flower and queen of the night These days women want blackberries and brazillian hair from me even before they ask me my name Give me olden days marriage anyday anytime |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by ajalaolanr(m): 1:17pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
I think The Values of been a wife is fast dissappering with the wind, the woman has lost her role and wants to live a life like a man, we forget the core essence of a woman is to be a mans Helper, however this has changed due to the ever increasing socio economic problems that smacks us in the face worldwide>, these days values are lost, the woman jumps on the next ride and changes husband like shes changing her tampon, all due respect to the ladies in the houose but i think we have more sluts than wifes these days. |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by Ayoobscom(m): 1:35pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
If not modern marriage what else? Where you are bankrupted where the husband making ewedu and the wife busy doing make-up(can't afford to miss the party) why not modern marriage where all the children were born before marriage comes why not modern marriage where your wife was one a girfriend to all your neigbors why not modern marriage where the wife does not want to see any husb's relative why not modern marriage where the husband sees the househelp more often than the wife in dinning and even in bed why not it? |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by manmustwac(m): 1:46pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
my mother was delivered to her husband (who was based in london at the time) back in 1964 like DHL they knew they were both from the same village but didn't know each other and after 6 children and 45 years later they are still together. So to me olden day marriages were the best |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by THEAMAKA(f): 1:48pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
Ayoobscom:funny. i stick with oldern days over anything else. the rate at which people are divorcing and marrying for the wrong reasons is sickening. instead of some couples to work it out they just scream DIVORCE! and not even thinking about the children. it saddens me really. there are so many older couples that have been married 25+ years. but 30 years from now, how many can even boast of having a 10 year marriage? MY PEOPLE! ajalaolanr:you have a point there. but i think if thats the case, then those type of men should only marry women that are willing to be housewives or that are uneducated which gives them no choice but to be one. sorry that the MODERN WOMAN is here, and these men are gonna have to take a backseat and realize they cant walk all over most women as they probably could have in the 80s and before. |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by snthesis(m): 1:54pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
manmustwac:lol guy, ur package is on the way |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by Nobody: 1:56pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
my grandma was also DHLed to her husband, i think. it was so long ago. |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by Nobody: 1:58pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
@ajalaolanr and manmustwac you guys have said it all.to me oldern days is the best |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by snthesis(m): 2:03pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
@Popsy and Momsy abeg Send me a DD sexy cutie- cooks and clean, sharp sharp- i'll pay for the stamps |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by Nobody: 2:07pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
Olden marriage, roles clearly defined and less selfishness IMO Modern marriages - too many blurred lines, me i'm still confused sef |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by nwaghana: 2:33pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
ifyalways: Does it mean modern ladies do not have values? Just asking . |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by ojesymsym: 2:36pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
In the old days, girls were brought up to become wives in future. dat way u cud just pick any girl and u were at least 70% sure she was a wife material. People used to leave in compound where they were relations around, so a girl of about 12 was already helping her neighbor to carry her baby, that way she gets to learn very early how to cater for younger ones dependent on them. Nowaday, the total hours couples see themselves in a week (especially in Citiies) may not be more than 72hrs out of a possible 168hrs. But we get choice? |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by Nobody: 2:40pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
nwa-ghana:Those are the days when the term ''for better for worse '' really existed unlike what we have now.the modern marriage is just a contract of two bedmates mainly for producing babies. |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by angelz(f): 2:53pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
supporters of olden day marriage seem to think women are d problem in modern day marriage. I think its both ways. Why i aprecia8 olden day marriage 4 it values, l prefer modern day marriage 4 its balance. Those wu hav d fear of God and really wants to be a role model to their children, imbibe the values in olden day marriage into their modern day marriage. In those days men seem to marry out of necessity (children),not love and treats their wives as slave or second class citizen, but now, its suppose to be love and care on the part of the man while the woman reciprocate the love and care together with respect. that doesnt mean the man should not respect his wife as well. 1 Like |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by Brite02(m): 3:23pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
Even me i had to support Oldern days were respect & loyality were the order of the day, whether there was money or not husband & wife live happily ever after. Even @ some point if as a gal you were not a V,lol when you were married in then, i suppose there will be shame on your family for poor upbring up! Come to modernize pattern, mehnnn so many 'I DO' yet peeps in marriage are still struggling to love each other, to know each other wella. Infact this where the real U in marriage is seen, where as in dating every one is/was pretending. In summary, you can for in love during dating & bla bla bla leads to marriage, but the imp'rtnt thing is, marriage in modern things is really not a bed of roses. |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by spikedcylinder: 3:31pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
naijababe: I disagree with the highlighted. There was a lot of selfishness, only that it came from the men. These days, both parties choose to be selfish. |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by ifyalways(f): 3:31pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
nwa-ghana:Did my reply suggest otherwise? Of course,today's ladies and gents do have and uphold certain values and virtues though most or some of such values might have been modernized to come out with something better or worse than what our parents had. Someone talked abt his mother packaged and delivered to the dad,do u think that wud work today?with all the stories of Irreconcilable differences and all what not we hear daily at most divorce courts? Then we had and enjoyed stuffs like communal parenting which worked excellently,can same be said of today?Our mothers were regardless of been pushed to the background were able to manipulate and keep(i dislike this word)their husbands.what could be the secret?stooping to conquer? That is not to say things were all good and dandy then,there are still many aspects of the olden days family structure that were favorable only to 1 party.It includes but not limited to polygamy,men enjoying the best part of the game,women relegated to the bedroom and kitchen.etc. A well balanced mixture of both ideas and structure works for me. |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by sophy09: 3:40pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
I support modern marriage because I live in a modern society. I live in society whereby I have to work 24/7 to be support my family. I appreciate the olden marriage and I incorporated it in my modern marriage. In those days, women were appreciated. A man can afford his wife to be a stay home mum but now where is the money. The economy is going down. What we see on TV is part of the problem. Ladies like beyonce are crying out independent ladies. Guys like 50 cents are crying out have a baby by me and be a millionaire or some rap artist see ladies as "bitches". I mean I listen to my dad music collections and I see the beautiful of love and marriage. Every aspect of this modern life has changed people one way or another. The only way is to be modern but keep the olden marriage values. |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by sammhi(m): 3:44pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
olden marriage was better. the modern marriage is a copied one from the western world and so it comes with its loss of the values we cherish as a black man. that is reason for its failure too. these vaues of chastity, respect, love, tolerance and pateince are the main ingredient that makes life really worth living. the west have long ago forget God and the black man has followed too with its attendant bad and disastrous consequences. |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by Nobody: 3:55pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
spikedcylinder: Men being very selfish then and both parties now being selfish still means less selfishness now |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by Brite02(m): 4:10pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
sophy09: Kooooooooool |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by gentlem80(m): 4:32pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
@OP Hmm, this is a good question and will try as much as possible to answer it to my best of knowledge. I've always compared these two(old and 21st century) marriages and have come to the conclusion that olden day marriages are the best hands down!!! There are a lot of reasons why this is so. (1) People nowadays dont marry for the right reasons. I will lay most of the blames on the ladies. In todays world, a woman will take the so-called "made" guy over a person she has been dating for quite a while. They now prefer "Olorunsogo" to "Surulere". This is a very big issue has I have couples that are separating simply because the "made" guy at the outset of the relationship, either loses his job or could not afford the expensive holidays, they used to have, due to cut backs in salaries etc. This's where the ladies miss the road completely I remeber my grandma (of blessed memory), the woman was so sweet and loyal to her husband till the day she died. She said when she married my granpa(butcher), they were living in a room ("dojukoju" in Ibadan and stood by the guy until he made it and built his first house( an eight bedroom dojukoju). They guy even attest to this and make use of this when advising us on perseverance. They were together for over 50 yrs!!!. Please tell any marriage today, that lasts 2 yrs without the couple getting help from marriage counsellor? No not one and I'm talking from experience. (2) Sex, Two conflicting terms for a typical religiocentric nigerian. In the olden days, a woman that was a virgin on the point of getting itched is usually valued by the husband and is well respected as well by her nuclear and extended families. Nowadays, I will be so surprised if an head count of the ladies marrying, has 0.2% that are virgins . Enough said for now |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by pm05337(m): 4:36pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
A balance of both incorporating the old days marriage values into the the modern day marriage is very key going forward for our generation, |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by code9(m): 4:36pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
Older marriages have a stronger foundation on morals and discipline in terms of humilty and cohensiveness. In spite of this modern marriages have brought with it better ways of interaction btw husband and wife. resposibility is no longer a one-way traffic and wives have a say in family affairs, which go a long way to help navigate the man and family (Men are usuall like Brave goats. they need to herded ). Lastly the sexual relationship (in Marriages) has gone all SCI-FI too with lots of toys and sex educations to strengthen what was once considered serious issues in marriages, |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by Mynd44: 4:42pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
The old ones cannot bring solutions to new problems as they just tend to make the wife a baby machine without a brain and so does not need respect me i would love a woman who i will talk to and can talk back who is not afraid of me but loves me not somebody who i will have so little respect for that i will bring another woman home and she will say "ekabo" |
Re: Modern Marriages Vs Oldern Days(those Days) Marriages, Which Do U Prefer & Why? by Brite02(m): 4:48pm On Apr 08, 2011 |
^^^ yes change is good, still oldern days got the upper hand |
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