criuze:
Please marry if you can

Play boy is not so good a reasonable idea from a responsible adult

So...cos one is not married automatically makes her a play boy?

Sugardick:
op don't mind all those idiots trying to fück with your mind talking about irresponsibility and childish mentality. You are only responsible for yourself and your immediate family, do what works for you and makes you happy. I'm in your shoes too and I can't stand staying with a girl for 2 days talkless of forever.

na only foolish man dey fall for family pressure or criticism on marriage. infact they no born anybody well for my family to just mention marriage for my ear because I dey change am for them.

Your case is a bit different


Maybe you had some trauma that may require a rehab

Chuky7:
Has anyone experienced this. This is where I find myself. And I keep getting talks like it's a bad thing. Talks like your last has married before you shouldn't you be ashamed. Some even go to extent of proclaiming abomination.

For me all this one's no concern me. I am a playboy at heart and will marry at my own time or not at all. Depends on how I feel.

Peace of Mind and Freedom is Priceless. Don't Take it away from me.

So have you had similar experience please share

See, marry when you are ready o.
Don't let people put you in that corner because if you don't have the present peace you have, they won't attend to your family problems, they will tell you to manage.
As long as you have your peace, what else then?

There are some interesting points in time in this article however
I don’t know if I see all of them heart to heart. There’s some validity but
I will take maintain opinion till I look into it further.
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RodgersAkpafu:

This scenario can go two ways
This is just one
Nothing wrong with raising kids later on in life
Especially if you have the financial muscle to do so at that age
Humans live longer on average
A couple who are 45 years each can have kids and still live till 90

so in your opinion, having money is all it takes to raise kids. You definitely haven't encountered my kind. Meanwhile I know people who are way worse than me

You boldly informed the house that you are a playboy. Well, i wish you well. But note that life of a playboy will play you soon.

BamakSNR:

The fact is; you want to run away from responsibility

Are you saying that remaining single is likened to being irresponsible ,when you're old enough and financially stable ?

mmsen:


Does the average Nigerian even make it to 'retirement'? No. They die before 60 while struggling to take care of children as well as their own basic needs.

more reason to marry early so as not to leave behind little orphans who can't survive in this jungle

yanabasee1:



You're confusing your thoughts on what's supposed to be a norm and what isn't...


For instance...

A man who's grown (Say 35yrs old) and still living under his parents simply because he's been taken care of...

He doesn't care because he gets what ever he desires from his parent...


Now asking such a person to go get himself a job isn't a pressure...

When we ask young guys to go and get married, we're not trying to push them into it... We are directing them...

Psychologically, people don't thrive if not pushed...

If all of us would say that we're not ready to settle, we wouldn't have gotten to this stage right now..

When I got my first car... It was because I stood under the sun waving at taxi and non was waiting to pick me up . I was devasted and unemployed... I made up my mind to achieve it... because I never wanted to be in that same condition forever...


When people like you make defence of this kind... you're literally trying to shy away from what you should do by giving different excuses...

If I tell you that you should not be pushed into making money as a man... or you shouldn't be pressurized into going to make legit money, you'll think that I am trying to stop you from progressing...

Why pick excuse for marriage? it doesn't fit you ..

Man! You're drifting out of the topic and speaking nonsen se confidently.
We're talking about marriage, you claim in your first post a man who refused to marry is irresponsible and immature and now you're talking about a 35yr old man who still lives and feed under his parents roof.

In your bid to proof unmarried men are irresponsible and immature, you end up saying things that doesn't tally with what we're saying.

To put it straight to you or people that think like you, marriage doesn't signify maturity or responsibility. Say you marry born pikin full ground no mean say you dey responsible. Stop calling unmarried men irresponsible. People make decisions for reasons best known to them. No be everybody wan marry, some are not married but responsibility they shoulder is more than what some married people calling them irresponsible shoulder.

od501:


So...cos one is not married automatically makes her a play boy?

I'm coming from his own statement, like he's comfortable with playboy thing

Men, a straight head adult wouldn't boast of that in this cureent dispensation.


I'm 32 not yet married, (though expecting God to make way soon for that), but I'm not proud of that at all because it's already time for it,

seeing my mates with their families , measuring up with their responsibilities and all that


How much more, me, boasting of playboying


Well other things might be excuse, every man lives his life

But play is gross imature

McOluOmo:
[b][/b]
His money can do everything for him till he dies.....investment is the key





Guys wey no get girlfriend get peace of mind

I tell you seeing your children grow and mature while you are still strong and eventually taking over from you when you are old has a joy of its own.

Chuky7:
Has anyone experienced this. This is where I find myself. And I keep getting talks like it's a bad thing. Talks like your last has married before you shouldn't you be ashamed. Some even go to extent of proclaiming abomination.

For me all this one's no concern me. I am a playboy at heart and will marry at my own time or not at all. Depends on how I feel.

Peace of Mind and Freedom is Priceless. Don't Take it away from me.

So have you had similar experience please share

Continue lying to yourself.

If e no concern you, you no for carry am come for nairaland. You came here so that you go see people wey go support you by claiming to be in the same shoes like you.

No go sit down and rearrange your life and priorities. Dey there de waste your time claiming to be a play boy wey na poverty dey worry you.

scrolldown88:


I totally disagree with this. Marriage is not a standard to measure maturity or how responsible a person is. I'm not endorsing the OP play boy behavior, however there's lot of single people who are more responsible than some married folks. There's also a lot of married Playboy's, would you say they are highly responsible on account of them being married?
Besides this days we see people just in and out of married, or father children they can't care for, will you call that being matured/responsible?
And why most you take responsibility for another person. It's hard enough taking responsibility for your self and your immediate family. You can't shame a person for refusing to take up a leech.
Lol. So single men are not men because they aren't married?
This uneccessary pressure put on young people is the reason why we have broken homes littered all over.

You're a king bro

criuze:
Please marry if you can

Play boy is not so good a reasonable idea from a responsible adult

How did u arrive at d conclusion that d reason for his being single is because he is a playboy? 50 something year old Ataga that was killed by small 21year old chidinma, was he unmarried?

Marriage is bondage. You can get children outside of marriage. You need someone to take care of you when you get old. Very important.

Chuky7:
Has anyone experienced this. This is where I find myself. And I keep getting talks like it's a bad thing. Talks like your last has married before you shouldn't you be ashamed. Some even go to extent of proclaiming abomination.

For me all this one's no concern me. I am a playboy at heart and will marry at my own time or not at all. Depends on how I feel.

Peace of Mind and Freedom is Priceless. Don't Take it away from me.

So have you had similar experience please share

My simple advise. If you know you'll eventually marry, it's better you do that on time and early enough cos you'll regret forming playboy now and marrying at an elderly age.

yanabasee1:
If all the children in your family have gotten married and began to raise a family and you don't seems to bother about it.....than you are yet to grow up.... You still have a childish mentality...


No one is forcing you to get married... But marriage shows that one has gotten to a stage in their life that they'd begin to take responsibility....

Being a man isn't just sleeping around with different girls... but going to get a woman traditionally to become your wife .


Go and marry and gettat from here....

Omo see mentality, so poor.
No wonder the country is not progressing.

BamakSNR:

The fact is; you want to run away from responsibility

What responsibility?

yanabasee1:
If all the children in your family have gotten married and began to raise a family and you don't seems to bother about it.....than you are yet to grow up.... You still have a childish mentality...


No one is forcing you to get married... But marriage shows that one has gotten to a stage in their life that they'd begin to take responsibility....

Being a man isn't just sleeping around with different girls... but going to get a woman traditionally to become your wife .


Go and marry and gettat from here....

You sure you're not "forcing " him to go get married ?
That the mental game you're playing here is not obvious to you doesn't take away the fact you're trying to employ shaming mechanisms to actually force him to go into marriage.

I got absolutely no business if he chooses to get married or not,but I hate when people claim they are not forcing you to succumb to a certain choice but are doing exactly that by trying to Manipulating you to do their bidding,though being covert about that.

You're playing mind games with him,and yes, you're actually forcing him to go get married so to hold unto some slavery tag of what it means to be a responsible adult ,by society standard.

lexy2014:


How did u arrive at d conclusion that d reason for his being single is because he is a playboy? 50 something year old Ataga that was killed by small 21year old chidinma, was he unmarried?

Oga the op stated it. Read the post again

Did he tell you he plans to raise children?

michlins:
It's all good until you start raising kids when others are planning retirement.


Get married when you are young especially when you have the resources. Raising children is one hell of serious venture. You need all your skills and resources to be topnotch

oglalasioux:
Marriage is bondage. You can get children outside of marriage. You need someone to take care of you when you get old. Very important.

Having same thought, I may or may not get married but I will definitely have kids in my 30s, even have a partner just like Mikel but u see that marriage thing, it's a no no for me

Chuky7:
Has anyone experienced this. This is where I find myself. And I keep getting talks like it's a bad thing. Talks like your last has married before you shouldn't you be ashamed. Some even go to extent of proclaiming abomination.

For me all this one's no concern me. I am a playboy at heart and will marry at my own time or not at all. Depends on how I feel.

Peace of Mind and Freedom is Priceless. Don't Take it away from me.

So have you had similar experience please share

You know this life is really not about pleasing other humans who may not even be happy with their own lives. You know that you are a play boy and I give you full marks for sparing some innocent lady the trauma of getting married to one.

pembisco:


Oga the op stated it. Read the post again

It still doesn't mean that's d reason he isn't married. D instance of Ataga and chidinma that I gave u, was Ataga not a playboy? Are there no married men that are still playboys?

nowhere:
Did he tell you he plans to raise children?

that's another angle but here in Africa especially Nigeria, the primary point of marriage is to raise kids

FORNICATION THAT WOULD KILL YOU, YOU ARE PACKAGING IT WITH GRAMMAR
"PLAYBOY"

For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:

6:

24 To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.

6 :

25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.

6 :

26 For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adultress will hunt for the precious life.

FOR YOUR EYES ONLY

A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.

9:

14 For she sitteth at the door of her house, on a seat in the high places of the city,

9:

15 To call passengers who go right on their ways:

9:

16 Whoso is simple, let him turn in hither: and as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him,

9:

17 Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.

9 :

18 But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell.

michlins:
so in your opinion, having money is all it takes to raise kids. You definitely haven't encountered my kind. Meanwhile I know people who are way worse than me

I never said that
Money is a factor
But there are ither factors
Good health is also a factor
Mental stability
Etc

mmsen:


Does the average Nigerian even make it to 'retirement'? No. They die before 60 while struggling to take care of children as well as their own basic needs.

Good point

Why are you desperately trying to convince yourself that you're not in the wrong?
You don't need validation, you just need to be comfortable with your choices, cause in the end, they're yours to bear.

Chuky7:


Thanks bro

I tell you that idea of staying with an unknown girl all your life is frightening.

What happens if you don't like her presence anymore or she becomes a pest do I just leave her like that?

yanabasee1:
If all the children in your family have gotten married and began to raise a family and you don't seems to bother about it.....than you are yet to grow up.... You still have a childish mentality...


No one is forcing you to get married... But marriage shows that one has gotten to a stage in their life that they'd begin to take responsibility....

Being a man isn't just sleeping around with different girls... but going to get a woman traditionally to become your wife .


Go and marry and gettat from here....

its your type that liters children everywhere in the name of "marriage"