| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by webhead: 9:35pm On Aug 22, 2021 |
FaruqMadridCr7:
Mods pls don't delete this post I know it's a wrong section i just need help pls.
This is will be lengthy but please bear with me
I think it's high time I share what I've been going through with you guys cause I don't know which way again.
I'm an introvert, I'm always shy this makes me feel so less and the worst part is that I'm scared of almost everything as well,  this particular fear is drowning me.I don't know what to do again,I always try to read some motivational quote,they help me sometimes but it's never permanent.
I always try my best to be brave and confident but it only works for few minutes,hours, days it's never permanent.i don't know whether it's only me in this shoe but those who knows what real fear is will understand me, it's Soo hard for me to do things on my own,fear always grip me plus shyness,and what I've observed in me that cause this fear is THINKING. 
I think too much, even when I don't want to think, those thought will just come to my head without control and I'll be just be thinking whatever and this is really affecting me psychologically. it's really affecting my live.i can't think straight.
I always feel less confident at home and work, when my peers are talking and gisting I'll find it very hard to join them, thinking of how to associate with them in my head.These people are not newly friends to me,yet I still find it very hard to feel free with them . It's always a bad experience for me infact it gets to a certain point when I'm shy and scared I'll be shaking and having a hot temperature as if I'm in war  can you imagine 
But, whenever this fear and shyness leaves me(when I'm trying to act bold it sometimes will)I feel like a normal person,I control things,I do whatever I want to do,THAT IS ALL I CRAVED FOR but it's never permanent.
I don't just know how I'm going to live my life on my own way. I'm tired of these things guys I don't know what to do again please help me.Anyhow. I'm scared as I'm typing this scared with no one or nothing pursuing me oo
I pray so much on this. It's been happening to me since I was small.i always think it will leave me when I grow older but now I'm 19 and it's just getting worse.It cause so much depression in me there was I time I thought of committing suicide cause I was totally fed up of everything. I'll just wake up every single day thinking of how to overcome fear while it grips me more.Being shy is normal but the scared part is what is killing me.Anybody with help pls   just don't know where to face
Lalasticlala,dominique mynd44 pls help me push this to front page Bro. Your problem is 99% similar to mine–even though mine has reduced. I'm not 100% sure of what is bringing fear/shyness into your life, but I can talk from my own experience with this. Almost throughout my chronic shy days (ages 15-19), I blamed it on myself. I had trouble mixing with friends, feeling confident, and eliminating FEAR–like you. As time progressed though, I came to realize the two main problems–and I'm 90% sure that it's the cause of your problem too. Let me cut straight to the point : You likely have a disorder–like ATTENTION DEFICIT AND HYPERACTIVE DISORDER (ADHD)/(ADD), and YOU'RE LIKELY SOMEONE WHO IS ADDICTED TO Something HIGHLY STIMULATING–like porn, drugs, video games. I want to tell you more but my phone is dying! Maybe later. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by jagorinho: 9:54pm On Aug 22, 2021 |
i hated walking around crowded places, I have this intuition that everyone is looking at me but that changed when I did a thorough introspection on myself, I lifted myself from the abyss of shyness, the power of assumption really helped me, I assumed that people are too busy to notice my every movement, even if they do, I am a " complete man" in every sense of it, this thought really lifted my spirit gradually, till I parted from shyness completely, now I can somersault in a crowded place without feeling overwhelmed.
when I defended my seminar topic in a large hall, the shyness spirit tried a comeback but my assumption method came to the rescue, I had to assume that everyone in the hall was my younger sister, because she was the only one I talked to with blistering authority, despite having numerous eye contacts with people in the hall, I was able to defend my seminar flawlessly.
your problem is psychological, you have to make conscious effort to save yourself 3 Likes |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by Ofadaman(m): 10:10pm On Aug 22, 2021 |
Stop masturbating... |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by Pastsoul: 10:35pm On Aug 22, 2021 |
[quote author=Ofadaman post=105077500]Stop masturbating...[can you explain more  ] |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by Thermodynamics(m): 11:15pm On Aug 22, 2021 |
OP listing, the problem is that you think too much, most bold people you see don't think some think a little. I use to take alcohol to boost my confidence, but that was before, I noticed one thing when I'm high, I do not think that much, I just act without thinking. Alcohol gives you an instinctive brain for a moment, you can practice that when ever you are in a public space, don't think, just act and also, tell yourself that anything that wants to happen, let it happen, you are shy because you are afraid of embarrassment, the fear of embarrassment create anxiety and nervousness. If you can just tell yourself that what ever that wants to happen, let it happen, if you do something and people laugh at you, DON'T THINK ABOUT IT, don't go home ruminating about the embarrassing situation, just forget it completely and when you are faced with similar situation, DON'T START THINKING ABOUT YOUR PREVIOUS EMBARRASSMENT just use your instinctive brain and do your best, with time, you'll stop caring about what people think at that point when you stop caring about what people think, that is where confidence come. I don't advice you to take alcohol like I did in the past, just try to understand how alcohol works and you can get the confidence it gives without taking it.
Finally, try talking to girls, do not fornicate but try to have them around, if you don't have any as a friend now, dress up, go out there and stop any random girl on the way and embarrass yourself in front of her, some will definitely give you their contact, some might laugh at you but don't think about it, DON'T THINK ABOUT, DON'T GO HOME AND THINK ABOUT IT. Just communicate with the ones you've managed to get her contact. PLEASE DO NOT FORNICATE, I SAID TRY TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH THEM. IT'LL HELP YOU.
CONFIDENCE IS ALL ABOUT NOT THINKING ABOUT WHAT PEOOLE THINK, DON'T THINK, JUST ACT. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by GTCO: 11:43pm On Aug 22, 2021 |
I feel as if you are my brother... The way you narrated evething |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by Daytrader1: 4:29am On Aug 23, 2021 |
Fake it till you make it a habit then it's automatic, just give it time |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by Bimbilla(m): 7:29am On Aug 23, 2021 |
anthonyuncle:
at your small age you are complaining
if i slap you, you will go and read your books and wash plates He's saying the truth I'm going through the same thing |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by Uyi168: 7:33am On Aug 23, 2021 |
anthonyuncle:
at your small age you are complaining
if i slap you, you will go and read your books and wash plates . You'd rather he waits till he is 29 before he takes action abiii.. 1 Like |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by Uyi168: 8:14am On Aug 23, 2021 |
Creativeace:
it's called nervousness, your heart beats at a rate that suprises Even you, you just can't explain it but it feels as if you perceive this overwhelming discomfort coming your way,that gets you really confused. Shyness usually comes with many disorders man. Just don't let it get to your soul, it could cause a psychiatric condition, continously talking to yourself, becoming terrified of public places, creating a fantasy world in your mind etc. Just stick to developing yourself, have quiet times with God, you'll feel peace, the kind of peace that makes any awkward situation mean nothing to you. . Well nailed. |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by torqque7(m): 8:25am On Aug 23, 2021 |
FaruqMadridCr7:
Thanks, I've faced them several times, but the fear is there First ask urself,what exactly are u scared of?and whats the worst that could happen?then remember u r not the first and can't be the last to experience whats the worse that could happen..do this and see your liberation |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by Harry00(m): 8:31am On Aug 23, 2021 |
|
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by MikeofKd(m): 8:52am On Aug 23, 2021 |
The problem your having OP is that it's all in your head ,your fears ,anxieties ,shyness , nervousness etc it's all in your head .let the fears out . Ive been there done that .
If you want to get better result just know you can't achieve total confidence in a day ,it's def gonna take time ,but Don't stop trying. Firstly you need to learn how to remove all this negative factors from your mind ,u see your mind is your life ,yes it is ,everything and anything you tell your mind it believes and starts to subconsciously acts according to dat believe.
You need to change your mindset completely and start seeing things differently, tbvh no body really gives a Bleep about you that much ,it's just you making a big deal out of nothing ,but ur always thinking pple are staring at you ,or people are talking about you and all these things makes you feel nervous and that's when shyness comes in. Like I said earlier it all in your head stop listening to dat voice in your head .
Find your style ,your creativity and start using them , find a really nice way of picturing urself when you're outside ,picture yourself like a god cause ur are a little god anyways. Picture yourself like an alpha male ,and u don't have to fake it ,just go with the flow, when u approach a girl don't act like your freaking out ,just be cool and calm she won't bite you , and learn to strategize u can't always approach every girl u see like dat ,first observe dem ,if they look approachable then go but if not don't bother ,and yeah try to smoke some Az trust me it would boost your confidence over time. Theres so much to advice but just stop letting things I your head get to you , u go dey alright las las . 2 Likes |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by FaruqMadridCr7(m): 12:52pm On Aug 23, 2021 |
Donpaper:
Three wise experienced guys on this thread already answered you and you are dodging it. You are a chronic masturbator!!! That fear will make you afraid of everything, including life.You will be doubtful of yourself and mistrust people. Always thinking somebody want to cheat you or harm you. Always negative all the time. With thoughts of suicide, depression and hatred. If you are experiencing all these. STOP MASTURBATING! And if you're a Christian and you speak in tongues, blast in tongues often, it will energize you |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by FaruqMadridCr7(m): 1:00pm On Aug 23, 2021 |
Donpaper:
Three wise experienced guys on this thread already answered you and you are dodging it. You are a chronic masturbator!!! That fear will make you afraid of everything, including life.You will be doubtful of yourself and mistrust people. Always thinking somebody want to cheat you or harm you. Always negative all the time. With thoughts of suicide, depression and hatred. If you are experiencing all these. STOP MASTURBATING! And if you're a Christian and you speak in tongues, blast in tongues often, it will energize you Ever since I was told that it's part of this fear,I stopped it since then and nothing changes still |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by FaruqMadridCr7(m): 1:38pm On Aug 23, 2021 |
Thermodynamics:
OP listing, the problem is that you think too much, most bold people you see don't think some think a little. I use to take alcohol to boost my confidence, but that was before, I noticed one thing when I'm high, I do not think that much, I just act without thinking. Alcohol gives you an instinctive brain for a moment, you can practice that when ever you are in a public space, don't think, just act and also, tell yourself that anything that wants to happen, let it happen, you are shy because you are afraid of embarrassment, the fear of embarrassment create anxiety and nervousness. If you can just tell yourself that what ever that wants to happen, let it happen, if you do something and people laugh at you, DON'T THINK ABOUT IT, don't go home ruminating about the embarrassing situation, just forget it completely and when you are faced with similar situation, DON'T START THINKING ABOUT YOUR PREVIOUS EMBARRASSMENT just use your instinctive brain and do your best, with time, you'll stop caring about what people think at that point when you stop caring about what people think, that is where confidence come. I don't advice you to take alcohol like I did in the past, just try to understand how alcohol works and you can get the confidence it gives without taking it.
Finally, try talking to girls, do not fornicate but try to have them around, if you don't have any as a friend now, dress up, go out there and stop any random girl on the way and embarrass yourself in front of her, some will definitely give you their contact, some might laugh at you but don't think about it, DON'T THINK ABOUT, DON'T GO HOME AND THINK ABOUT IT. Just communicate with the ones you've managed to get her contact. PLEASE DO NOT FORNICATE, I SAID TRY TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH THEM. IT'LL HELP YOU.
CONFIDENCE IS ALL ABOUT NOT THINKING ABOUT WHAT PEOOLE THINK, DON'T THINK, JUST ACT. hmmmm,Thank you so much for this.i will surely work on it.Thanks I really appreciate |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by Donpaper: 2:14pm On Aug 23, 2021 |
FaruqMadridCr7:
Ever since I was told that it's part of this fear,I stopped it since then and nothing changes still yeah, it is because it has become almost a reflex action.If you have really stopped it and not once in a while stopping. It will go! But try to be happy, play music, watch films, take yourself out and spoil yourself a bit you will soon replace the emotion with that of confidence. You can also use self affirmation. Like , I am a confident guy, I am good with girls, I am a great guys, I am bold and fearless. Try this and get back to me. Cheers |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by bepositive11: 5:02pm On Aug 23, 2021 |
FaruqMadridCr7:
Mods pls don't delete this post I know it's a wrong section i just need help pls.
This is will be lengthy but please bear with me
I think it's high time I share what I've been going through with you guys cause I don't know which way again.
I'm an introvert, I'm always shy this makes me feel so less and the worst part is that I'm scared of almost everything as well, this particular fear is drowning me.I don't know what to do again,I always try to read some motivational quote,they help me sometimes but it's never permanent.
I always try my best to be brave and confident but it only works for few minutes,hours, days it's never permanent.i don't know whether it's only me in this shoe but those who knows what real fear is will understand me, it's Soo hard for me to do things on my own,fear always grip me plus shyness,and what I've observed in me that cause this fear is THINKING.
I think too much, even when I don't want to think, those thought will just come to my head without control and I'll be just be thinking whatever and this is really affecting me psychologically. it's really affecting my live.i can't think straight.
I always feel less confident at home and work, when my peers are talking and gisting I'll find it very hard to join them, thinking of how to associate with them in my head.These people are not newly friends to me,yet I still find it very hard to feel free with them . It's always a bad experience for me infact it gets to a certain point when I'm shy and scared I'll be shaking and having a hot temperature as if I'm in war can you imagine
But, whenever this fear and shyness leaves me(when I'm trying to act bold it sometimes will)I feel like a normal person,I control things,I do whatever I want to do,THAT IS ALL I CRAVED FOR but it's never permanent.
I don't just know how I'm going to live my life on my own way. I'm tired of these things guys I don't know what to do again please help me.Anyhow. I'm scared as I'm typing this scared with no one or nothing pursuing me oo
I pray so much on this. It's been happening to me since I was small.i always think it will leave me when I grow older but now I'm 19 and it's just getting worse.It cause so much depression in me there was I time I thought of committing suicide cause I was totally fed up of everything. I'll just wake up every single day thinking of how to overcome fear while it grips me more.Being shy is normal but the scared part is what is killing me.Anybody with help pls just don't know where to face
Lalasticlala,dominique mynd44 pls help me push this to front page Face your fears. Throw yourself in the deep end. Do what makes you feel uncomfortable. Before you know it, you will see that you will start to get more and more confident. It's a journey. Take it one step at a time |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by FaruqMadridCr7(m): 9:23pm On Aug 23, 2021 |
Donpaper:
yeah, it is because it has become almost a reflex action.If you have really stopped it and not once in a while stopping. It will go! But try to be happy, play music, watch films, take yourself out and spoil yourself a bit you will soon replace the emotion with that of confidence. You can also use self affirmation. Like , I am a confident guy, I am good with girls, I am a great guys, I am bold and fearless. Try this and get back to me. Cheers Wow, Thanks |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by FaruqMadridCr7(m): 9:24pm On Aug 23, 2021 |
bepositive11:
Face your fears. Throw yourself in the deep end. Do what makes you feel uncomfortable. Before you know it, you will see that you will start to get more and more confident. It's a journey. Take it one step at a time Thanks,I really appreciate this  |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by lonipeter(m): 6:41am On Aug 24, 2021 |
FaruqMadridCr7:
Mods pls don't delete this post I know it's a wrong section i just need help pls.
This is will be lengthy but please bear with me
I think it's high time I share what I've been going through with you guys cause I don't know which way again.
I'm an introvert, I'm always shy this makes me feel so less and the worst part is that I'm scared of almost everything as well, this particular fear is drowning me.I don't know what to do again,I always try to read some motivational quote,they help me sometimes but it's never permanent.
I always try my best to be brave and confident but it only works for few minutes,hours, days it's never permanent.i don't know whether it's only me in this shoe but those who knows what real fear is will understand me, it's Soo hard for me to do things on my own,fear always grip me plus shyness,and what I've observed in me that cause this fear is THINKING.
I think too much, even when I don't want to think, those thought will just come to my head without control and I'll be just be thinking whatever and this is really affecting me psychologically. it's really affecting my live.i can't think straight.
I always feel less confident at home and work, when my peers are talking and gisting I'll find it very hard to join them, thinking of how to associate with them in my head.These people are not newly friends to me,yet I still find it very hard to feel free with them . It's always a bad experience for me infact it gets to a certain point when I'm shy and scared I'll be shaking and having a hot temperature as if I'm in war can you imagine
But, whenever this fear and shyness leaves me(when I'm trying to act bold it sometimes will)I feel like a normal person,I control things,I do whatever I want to do,THAT IS ALL I CRAVED FOR but it's never permanent.
I don't just know how I'm going to live my life on my own way. I'm tired of these things guys I don't know what to do again please help me.Anyhow. I'm scared as I'm typing this scared with no one or nothing pursuing me oo
I pray so much on this. It's been happening to me since I was small.i always think it will leave me when I grow older but now I'm 19 and it's just getting worse.It cause so much depression in me there was I time I thought of committing suicide cause I was totally fed up of everything. I'll just wake up every single day thinking of how to overcome fear while it grips me more.Being shy is normal but the scared part is what is killing me.Anybody with help pls just don't know where to face
Lalasticlala,dominique mynd44 pls help me push this to front page I think you should try Jesus |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by Emmanuel224(m): 6:53am On Aug 24, 2021 |
Palazee:
Op you are not telling us the real truth I see where ur going  |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by Emmanuel224(m): 7:04am On Aug 24, 2021 |
Well I am in ur shoes or I'd say I used to be,because I DNT even want to think I'm there anymore , I have just 3 pple I can call frnds and I make the most use of them.
When thoughts come and my head starts to ache, I go out and have a good laugh
Even though I hardly go out, bt I forced myself to do it and it helped a lot
Drop ur number if ur on WhatsApp, let me help u to the best I can |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by Mrlouis: 7:55am On Aug 24, 2021 |
OH YE YOUNG WANKE.R
IF YOU WERE RUSSIAN, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN CALLED MR. IVANKER |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by Palazee(m): 9:39am On Aug 24, 2021 |
1 Like 
|
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by Ogynz(m): 9:42am On Aug 24, 2021 |
Black man wey dey speak Chinese  anthonyuncle:
you are the to see anything in life |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by mrsteel: 7:41pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
Thermodynamics:
Finally, try talking to girls, do not fornicate but try to have them around, if you don't have any as a friend now, dress up, go out there and stop any random girl on the way and embarrass yourself in front of her, some will definitely give you their contact, some might laugh at you but don't think about it, DON'T THINK ABOUT, DON'T GO HOME AND THINK ABOUT IT. Just communicate with the ones you've managed to get her contact. PLEASE DO NOT FORNICATE, I SAID TRY TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH THEM. IT'LL HELP YOU.
@ FaruqMadridCr7 Please try to practice the bold, it is very important for u at this stage. Association with the opposite sex has a way of killing shyness. If we should check your circle of friend, I am very sure u have no female friend, your shyness will make u fear them. If u are able to break that & relate freely with the opposite sex, it is going to improve your self esteem a lot, believe me! Just do as this man said, do not fornicate, but try as much as possible to relate with the opposite sex, it will help u a lot. But the ultimate solution to your problem is to join a group in your church or school & be active. It works 100%. |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by Lilsameey: 8:51pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
Somepeople are just so dumb.....Telling Op he is young,..bla bla bla,..You think judging what someone has passed through in life is by age or what is going through,...A nineteen year old somewhere has achieved more than you are.
I face the same thing Op is facing, but I am trying my best to live through it,..All the friends I ever had in my life are way more older than me,..And most of them became uncomfortable, thinking of me at their age taking on life challenges of their ages. They made me feel somehow, it was so worst, I had to start living like a bat, Very silent and anywhere I am, I just read everyone one after the other. The funniest thing I have been doing lately is predicting people's action, I started thinking ahead, Arranging atleast four different plans for any task. Op, think less of what you think others think of you, Don't let that bother, Don't try to imagine people's emotion towards you. |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by brosom(m): 10:12pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
chatinent:
Motivational quotes from diverse religious persons is hurtful if you aren't focused.
Every motivator speaks from their thoughts and experiences. I understand you try to use it to calm yourself...however, that's not a happiness manual.
Learn to live each day at a time.
Leave tomorrow for tomorrow.
Each day has its anxieties.
You are the best best you could ever be like if you noticed. O boy ur introvert is on next level. I can understand and feel ur pains because I was once like u but not to this extent. Dude specifically need Jesus, thats the only way u can break out from it. Though the spirit of God is meek, gentle and humble but it's never fearful. The word of God is the most bolded spirit one can ever have, trust me it work just give it a try.. |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by chatinent: 10:25pm On Aug 24, 2021 |
brosom:
O boy ur introvert is on next level.
I can understand and feel ur pains because I was once like u but not to this extent.
Dude specifically need Jesus, thats the only way u can break out from it. Though the spirit of God is meek, gentle and humble but it's never fearful. The word of God is the most bolded spirit one can ever have, trust me it work just give it a try.. But you were on the other topic telling me how stupid I were for not having sex with a girl! Is this phariseespocrisy? |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by FaruqMadridCr7(m): 12:17am On Aug 25, 2021 |
mrsteel:
@ FaruqMadridCr7
Please try to practice the bold, it is very important for u at this stage. Association with the opposite sex has a way of killing shyness. If we should check your circle of friend, I am very sure u have no female friend, your shyness will make u fear them. If u are able to break that & relate freely with the opposite sex, it is going to improve your self esteem a lot, believe me! Just do as this man said, do not fornicate, but try as much as possible to relate with the opposite sex, it will help u a lot. But the ultimate solution to your problem is to join a group in your church or school & be active. It works 100%. wow,thank you. I'll try my best on these |
| Re: Help! I'm Dying Inside. by Albertone(m): 12:46am On Aug 25, 2021 |
squash47:
Omo, no mind d boy abeg. 19 year old boy dey cap nonsense. Tcheew. He dey selfa awareness stage. He never fully understand hiself
Both of you are wrong. Are you saying he should ignore his problems because he is 19.A 19 year old is a MAN!! So when should he find solutions? When it has gotten out of hand? |
