see i got myself a busy girlfriend,
she got set in all kind of organization works in my uni,
and i felt that i got so left behind,
seeing her so busy and working that hard, i feel that its hard for me to keep up with her,
she knows how to do this and that and i think that i shud be able to do the things that she can do but i dont know how,
seeing her taking EXTRA work that she doesnt actually has to take makes me wonder why is she so willing to get so busy when she doesnt has to,

Also, she prioritize her carrier than marriage,
she wanted to give back the efforts that her father gave her by supporting her financialy till uni,
when shes busy shes like a totally different person, focusing on her work all the time,
tell me guys, wat shud i do to get rid of this feeling? the feeling of getting so left behind,

I have watched a Nigeria Movie that best describe your lamentation, that girl will long 4 marriage at about the age of 27-30, but if you choose to go with her you will have more bad tales to talk about her to your friends all the time, i know you do not wish that.

But if you can holdup with her then i have not option to your quest.

Such a girl is best referred to as "smart". When you finally dump her - yes, you will - she will not fall apart since she has other pursuits in her life that are arguably more important than ephemeral boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. It's a positive quality. Maybe she's a finance minister in the making?

if you love her enough talk to her and be patient for her to see things your way

if you feel otherwise honestly, change her (i dont think you will miss much)

life is too short and uncertain

I dont see the relationship going anywhere, girls like that piss people off a lot. I know this cos i have been to house of one, smart as a bear, but lacks family values,

Am surprised you are considering dumping a girl that have such drive. Consider the alternative and you will stick to her. Believe me let her drive and hunger to succeed fire you in a positive way not competativly. Forget ego. If you have a drive and hunger that exceeds her own she will love and respect you a lot.

A woman like that behind you is worth more than Lady Macbeth. Such women achieves everything and all she needs is your support. Never tell her to back down. All you have to do is to support her if you love. It will be difficult believe me but not impossible.

I agree with you but if her drive is also obssessive, it can be a problem. why must he keep working himself overtime to meet up with her?

if obssession is her case, i suggest he runs for cover.

let her know she is got to decied what is more important in her life, she got to be able to give time for you and her work if go into marriage without settling that it wont be all good.

The basic problem is that our young man doesn't like her lifestyle. Therefore they should separate peacefully and maybe when next they meet she will be in a position to offer him a lucrative job.

But under no circumstances should he try to discourage or change her because such girls are rare and it's not good to deprive Nigeria of what she's going to achieve if encouraged. if you can't keep up, drop out - no shame in that.

Thats not a bad thing, what does she do exactly? She might just be trying to cover up a complex. Or mybe she's a Geek! Can i have her number? What course are you studying? I can tell you ways to get yourself more busy than she is and watch reverse psychology at play.

The only piece of advice I have to offer to you, keele, is this: Good luck, man. You'll be needing lots of it.

Seun:

The basic problem is that our young man doesn't like her lifestyle. Therefore they should separate peacefully and maybe when next they meet she will be in a position to offer him a lucrative job.

But under no circumstances should he try to discourage or change her because such girls are rare and it's not good to deprive Nigeria of what she's going to achieve if encouraged. if you can't keep up, drop out - no shame in that.

well yea its not like i dont like her lifestyle, but she said y didnt u support me instead of discouraging me, she said it like that and it kinda struck me hard, is that really the thing i shud be doing, ?

Seun:

Such a girl is best referred to as "smart". When you finally dump her - yes, you will - she will not fall apart since she has other pursuits in her life that are arguably more important than ephemeral boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. It's a positive quality. Maybe she's a finance minister in the making?

Shes definitely aiming high for her career, she wanted to work hard so that the money her father had spent for her for college doesnt go to waste, its really hard for me if shes really focusing on her career, i love her and i really dont want this problem to disturb our relationship,

You are the one that needs an attitute adjustment keele, not her. make up your mind on what you want and go for it, as has been said, we don't know her and if you think it is not an obssession she's exhibiting, then make up your mind on what you want.

If my girlfriend loves her job more than me, id drop her, its not about spending more time at her work its about how she sees herself and you in the relationship.

nicetohave:

If my girlfriend loves her job more than me, id drop her, its not about spending more time at her work its about how she sees herself and you in the relationship.

hmm i really dont want to let her go and so does she,
btw she and me are medic students,
im a man who just go with the flow, when the situation comes, then ill act accordingly,
but shes different, shes planning so far ahead, shes definitely not a geek, -.- but shes planning wat to do when she graduates,

my fren advised me to keep the relationship if i can, but if i couldnt stand it anymore, he said "you might as well break up, " T_T

Maxflame:

Thats not a bad thing, what does she do exactly? She might just be trying to cover up a complex. Or mybe she's a Geek! Can i have her number? What course are you studying? I can tell you ways to get yourself more busy than she is and watch reverse psychology at play.

we are medic students, im 20 dis year and PLEASE, TELL ME how to get myself more busy than her,
i feel like im relaxing too much, seeing her so busy,

You are 20? So you're both 100 level students then. Now i understand. Dude its called school fever, new students have this coz they don't know whats up. Give her time to understand how the system works and she'll chill. Get a playstation 2 and keep yourself busy when you ain't studying.

Just make sure that the inevitable break-up is amicable so you won't miss the chance of getting a lucrative job from her in the future.

Men, i have been with that kind of a lady before and believe me you don't have to be doing things extra-ordinary just to meet up to her. Thats how she is and you can't stop that. Let me tell you, for you to really get her devouted will be alot of hard-work for you and most of the time, you will be getting pissed off.
It's just like when a guy is too busy to have time for his girlfriend, the whole thing might collapse if care is not taken.
If you really want her, you have to spend alot of time with her talking to her about your relationship so that she can realise that marraige still outweigh career. Career will come and go but marraige is eternity.

so, shud i just wait for her till she succeed in her career or push her into marriage, ?
well im not that rush in marriage, we still gotta long way to go,
But still, knowing her point of view of prioritizing career than marriage hurts me,

if you leave her to succeed in her career first, then i tell you, you might lose her cos she will be soaked up with her career to the detriment of a relationship. You still need to let her know that career is nothing compare to what marriage has to offer.
Remember that with maraige, you are going to build your own empire. What she is doing is unhealthy for your relationship(quote me anywhere)

A busy girl friend cant be serious cos they dont't have time for their loves ones, However they feel proud no form of respect besides they tend to be in control!!!

And we need them. They are a blessing to their generation. Not every woman is created to be a mere baby-machine, afterall there are many babies looking for parents.

Wait, I'm sorry, did someone maybe hit a time switch and send us all back in time? What the heck is going on over here? What kind of mentality do you people have? She's an ambitious young woman!! That's a problem now If all she wanted to do was stay home and have you take care of her, you'd say she was a lazy gold digger, Seun abeg tell them!!! She's a SMART young woman who's looking to make something of herself, and all you guys have to say is how negative a thing that is, sheesh, how exactly do you guys expect progress if you don't embrace it with open arms?? sheesh,

monie0078:

Wait, I'm sorry, did someone maybe hit a time switch and send us all back in time? What the heck is going on over here? What kind of mentality do you people have? She's an ambitious young woman!! That's a problem now If all she wanted to do was stay home and have you take care of her, you'd say she was a lazy gold digger, Seun abeg tell them!!! She's a SMART young woman who's looking to make something of herself, and all you guys have to say is how negative a thing that is, sheesh, how exactly do you guys expect progress if you don't embrace it with open arms?? sheesh,

Monie, I love you for this.

monie0078:

If all she wanted to do was stay home and have you take care of her, you'd say she was a lazy gold digger

Monie, I love you much more for this.  Please tell them ooo. If she is not ambitious, they would say she's a gold-digger. They would say she's with the guy because of his money, now when she's ambitious they are still complaining. MEN!!!!
I have learnt from past experiences that such visionless guys are not worth my time. Their level of thinking is too low. I have also learnt how to detect such guys before getting deeply involved. I hope the girl realises this too and be the first to dump this guy! (Sorry for being harsh)
And you know what? It's not as if the girl doesn't have time for him ooo, I'm sure she gives him much time, the guy is just feeling intimidated by the girl's ambition!

IAH:


Please tell them ooo. If she is not ambitious, they would say she's a gold-digger. They would say she's with the guy because of his money, now when she's ambitious they are still complaining. MEN!!!!

tsk tsk* so typical. Always going around generalizing. Next time use the word some coz it wasn't all that were against it. I for one find it appealing.

IAH:

I have learnt from past experiences that such visionless guys are not worth my time. Their level of thinking is too low. I have also learnt how to detect such guys before getting deeply involved.

Hey! Max[/b]imum [b]Flame, read between the lines ok? I said 'such' 'such' guys. You saw too 2 'such'es. Is 'such' a word of generalisation

I was reffering to your first statements. You know what they say about first impressions? And the word MEN is a generalist statement and should not be used if not intended to portray that opinion.

Let me twist things. It could have been MEN as in the 'MEN' Americans and American wannabes say when they exclaim, i.e. Men!!!! That's the 'men' I was saying!

keele:

we are medic students, im 20 this year and PLEASE, TELL ME how to get myself more busy than her,
i feel like im relaxing too much, seeing her so busy,

i think you are a block head keele. you said you both are medic students? gosh i even taught u guy were already courting mayb u were out of school. do you know it takes to b a brilliant doctor? well thats what she is doing . i dnt want to offend you but am telling you if you guys finish school its a different game but medicine. this aint good at all. men support her like a real dude and give her all you gat i know she will appreciate that after school and her new motto will be she dnt want to f*k u up for all your suport like she says for her father. please brother support her. you guys are preparing for what you want to b in future assist her ad she will stand by you. you might not know hw much she loves u not until she get suprot from you. and study had bro cause medic aint easy am saying this out of xperience. not personaaly but family wise.support her and you will save my email to hank me later i assure u.and about bee busy if you support her she will carry u along.

just support her, and be proud of her. now adays some girls are too damn lazy, and want the guys to do all the work, which is wrong.