windywendy:

@waffistyle:

Submission has absolutely NOTHING to do with infidelity. The bible does not command a woman to submit to a husband who commits adultery, infact that is the ONLY basis that Jesus Christ allows for divorce in the bible!! That fact alone should tell you that FAITHFULNESS IS A PRE-CONDITION FOR MARRIAGE!! .

Jesus Christ was talking to men, the message was directed to men, it was unheard of in those days even in biblical times of women divorcing men because they also had mistresses, it was men taking advantage of the slightest excuse to divorce their wifes in order to marry another that Christ was talking against, not women divorcing men, 

Explain this then:

1Cor.7:10-11:

But to the married people I give charge--not I but the Lord--that the wife is not to separate from her husband.
But if she does [separate from and divorce him], let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband.

If truly it was unheard of for women to divorce their husbands, why is this scripture encouraging women not to divorce their husbands?? Obviously women, even in biblical times, could divorce their husbands otherwise this verse of scripture would be redundand and unnecessary.

In reading the bible, especially the gospels, most of Jesus' audience were men because in those days men were the more outspoken, etc. However that does not mean that anything Jesus said to these men applies to men alone. If that's the case, most of His commands will apply to men alone and women will be free to walk in disobedience to them. So when Jesus is talking to men, it equally applies to women and vice versa. Afterall, when He spoke the words "you must be born again", He was speaking to a man. Will you say that statement does not apply to women simply because Jesus was speaking to a man?? There are so many similar instances like that in the bible. Also, when He said "you must worship God in spirit and in truth", He was speaking to a woman. Will you because of that say that the statement only applies to women?? Of course not.

Surely, you don't think that if Jesus was saying that men could divorce their wives on the grounds of infidelity, he would be telling women not to divorce their husbands on those same grounds. Jesus was no hypocrite . If His audience were women, I don't believe He would have said anything different. GOD IS NO RESPECTER OF PERSONS.

Wow, Windywendy, I must say I really do admire you. Psst, actually, I have it somewhere on this site, that you are my fav. nl female. No let the others hear o. 

Right on point in your discussions. No sugar coating, just saying it like it should be said. I could say more to mr waffi, but u said it all.

Good job woman!

@ windywendy
i did not say women did not divorce their husbands in biblical times, i only said they did not divorce their husbands just for the excuse that  their husbands had mistresses.
that a man had a mistress was never a good excuse for a woman to divorce him. i completely support a woman divorcing a woman beater, or a man that just cannot provide for her and her children and is not trying to,
please read Mark 10 and Mathew 19 more carefully
i quote'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife [/i]for just any reason?, , they said to him(Jesus) 'why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to put her [i][/i]away?, He said to them Moses because ot the hardness of your hearts permitted you to[b] divorce your wives[i],
there are some verses in the bible that are directed only to men, some to women,some to children and some to everybody.
i wonder why solomons first wife did not divorce him,or is there any account in the bible or in any other cultures or religions that a woman had 700husbands and 300 'nakkers', at the same time? please always careful read what i post, before replying,

I'll respond to you this one last time and then rest my case.

You're not getting my point. Let me put it this way: if it was a woman who approached Jesus to ask Him if she could divorce her husband for any reason, she would have got the same answer that Jesus gave, which is basically: no divorce except on the grounds of infidelity. .

Putting it differently, Jesus Christ will not say to the men "you can divorce your wives on the grounds of infidelity" and then turn to the women and say "you CANNOT divorce your husbands on the grounds of infidelity". That's hypocrisy and Jesus Christ NEVER gave contradictory commands like that. God is truly no respecter of persons. In his sight, sin is sin, irrespective of who commits it. So if He says something is wrong, it is wrong for EVERYONE, whether male or female.

Having a mistress or having extra-marital affairs qualifies as infidelity, and a woman (or man) is allowed to divorce their spouse on the basis of that.

Jesus completely supports a person (whether man or woman) divorcing their spouse on the grounds of infidelity. So whatever you think or support is IRRELEVANT.

Again, you keep making reference to the old testament to support your views. Yes, back then men had many wives. But right now under the new testament dispensation, it is not so. It is NOW one man, one wife, and that's the exact point Jesus was making when saying that anyone who divorces except on the grounds of sexual immorality is in the wrong. I've quoted scriptures in my previous posts that point to the fact that marriage is between TWO people. There is no where in the new testament where you'll see God or even the church endorsing polygamy, much less a man or woman having extra-marital affairs. Period.

Bhola:

Wow, Windywendy, I must say I really do admire you. Psst, actually, I have it somewhere on this site, that you are my fav. nl female. No let the others hear o.

Right on point in your discussions. No sugar coating, just saying it like it should be said. I could say more to mr waffi, but u said it all.

Good job woman!

Thanks Bhola, that was refreshing

you stubborn sha, i have not said men should be polygamous, or sleep with their maids, i just dont see it right your putting a man and a woman on an equal scale, it is not right,, dont say if i do it, he must be able to do it, men and women are different, men have their challenges in life diffferent from a womans challenges, it is men that had a greater problem forgiving a wife that cheated on him because of his ego,, It has always been easier for women to forgive men on matters like this, Aman must treat his wife like a queen, for you are now one flesh, and body, any thing you do to your wife you do to yourself, and it is also good to guide your emotions, as a man, so no need to have mistresses that will pull you away from your home, thus destroying it, though men are more physical on issues of sex, than emotional, while most cases a woman is emotional involved first before enjoying sex,

any way a man should honour his wife with his body, though this means you are not compelled, you chose and agreed to honour her, while she swore complete fidelity to you,
good night i actually enjoyed chatting with you, you strike me as an intelligent, smart person, hope no be so yu de argue face to face, you no de greeeeee,

I initially said I won't respond to this topic anymore, but I change my mind  . This last post and you won't hear from me again on this topic.

waffistyle:

you stubborn sha, i have not said men should be polygamous, or sleep with their maids, i just don't see it right your putting a man and a woman on an equal scale, it is not right,,

Nope, it's not me putting a man and a woman on an equal scale. God did that with regard to fidelity in marriage when He declared adultery a sin. Look what He says in Heb.13:4 Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous.. So if you think it's not right, you're welcome to take your beef with God on that one.

waffistyle:

men have their challenges in life diffferent from a womans challenges,

And yes, I absolutely agree with that. But challenges are meant to be overcome, and God gives us the grace to overcome. Otherwise why would there be sin at all?? Or put differently, why would there be consequences for succumbing to such challenges

waffistyle:

Aman must treat his wife like a queen, for you are now one flesh, and body, any thing you do to your wife you do to yourself, and it is also good to guide your emotions, as a man, so no need to have mistresses that will pull you away from your home, thus destroying it,

For once, you're sounding levelheaded. That's a breather 

waffistyle:

any way a man should honour his wife with his body, though this means you are not compelled, you chose and agreed to honour her, while she swore complete fidelity to you,

FYI, here is the definition of a vow (from webster's dictionary): a solemn promise or assertion; specifically : one by which a person is bound to an act, service, or condition

When a man vows to honor his wife with his body, this means that he is COMPELLED to honor her with his body. How can anyone make a vow they're not compelled to abide by?? Is that anything serious at all?? What a joke 

When you vowed to forsake all others and honor her with your body, you vowed to be faithful. Whether you realize that or not, you swore complete fidelity to her. What you made was a vow, and not just some random choice or agreement that isn't binding. And if that's truly what you did (i.e. the random thing), then I dare say you're not married  . A marriage involves exchange of vows between TWO people and each person is COMPELLED to abide by those vows until death do them part.

waffistyle:

good night i actually enjoyed chatting with you, you strike me as an intelligent, smart person, hope no be so yu de argue face to face, you no de greeeeee,

Thanks for the compliment though. About the face to face thing, no I don't engage in unnecessary arguments, esp. not face to face. However I do have very strong convictions about marriage (and many other things in life) that I've developed over the years (mostly from the bible) right from when I was still a teenager. It will take more than just mere baseless words, wishful thinking or archaic stereotypes to get me to change those convictions. I CAN NEVER agree with someone who tells me that men are not compelled to be faithful in marriage while women are. That's just nonsense. Why get married to someone who's not compelled to be faithful to me and who in turn requires me to be faithful to him that's just madness. Even people in everyday life would not get into a contract that puts them at a disadvantage (and yet, that's just a contract that they can easily get out of compared to a marriage relationship).  How ridiculous is that?? I'ld rather be single. I'm glad that God, the author of the marriage relationship, doesn't hold that view.

A house maid is just as much a woman and the mistress of the house.  The man just had easy access to booty in his own house.  He did not have to and look for it.

Women cheat too, but are more discreet.

@ bigsis
why do women discreetly cheat?, why do they cheat?

@ windywendy
i thought that was my last post diected to you,
get my point, i agree times are changing, women now make money and can fend for themselves without the support of men today, this is why you can have these opinions, before the advent of modernity women had no good inheritace from their fathers to fend for themselves, and at the beginning of modernity, they were initially not allowed to work, and earn an independent living, this was what men took advantage of maybe?,

modernity also brought the use of contraceptives, abortion, and DNA test, a woman that cheats in days of old suffered more from their actions than the men, for reasons like
their children may be rejected by their husband, thus makig the children bastards, and without family and inheritance, this might have its disadvantage to women, but then there were more stable marriages, these days there are more broken marriages, divorces everyday, and single parenthood is increasing,

the knight in chess is equal to the bishop, but they function differently, this deal is not equal the way you reason it, in most traditions the men formally ask the parents of the bride for her hand in marriage, in my own case my whole family had to kneel down to ask for my wifes hand in marriage, her family did not kneel down to beg for my own hand in marriage, is that equal? or balanced,

i also paid bride price, though these days it is just tradition,the pride price cannot even buy a bottle of coke

i will not live him, but i will make d house hooooooooooot 4 him after kickin my househelp out of d house, and when i am married i will bring in a house boy of about 13yrs he will go to skool from my house

leave.

notting because what goes around comes around

It can't happen becos have decided not to have an housemaid when i get marry

What if your husband wants one?

Its just too sad! Even Housemaids can't be trusted,

1. Kick the housemaid out

2. Find out why my Husband cheated in the first place

lol do you think he'd bother to find out why you cheated had it been the other way around?


didirin ni awon obrinin sha

2. Find out why my Husband cheated in the first place

He cheated because he wasn't expecting you to catch him. Next time, he'll be more careful!

@Seun

hmm, so u believe that every man on this earth cheats whenever there is a chance of not getting caught

I must really be a naive little girl

Seun:

What if your husband wants one?

we talked about it already and he said he doesn't like the idea of housemaid anyway.
And i want to be able to do thing by myself, have always been use to housemaid helping me most of my life and my mum.

And i want to be able to cook for my husband not someone doing it for me
I want to take care of my own children without no ones help expect from my husband

fine Omo Eko, pretend in your sake it's not housegirl but a house guest, sheesh

ThiefOfHearts:

fine Omo Eko, pretend in your sake it's not housegirl but a house guest, sheesh

LOL that is big wahala. i will cut her into pieces then as for my house i will chop is DI CK OFF

omo eko,don't tell me you want to commit murder

hotonuo:

omo eko,don't tell me you want to commit murder

u can say that
they sould have taught about that

@Topic---I wont leave---I'l beat shege outtof dat maid, and kick her ashewo ass outta ma house---then me and ma husband will settle it out our own way!

Then i know the husband does nt deserve me as a wife. (My opinion)

I have gone through the whole post and it sounds good but advice to ladies if face this kind of problem, packing ur things or sending the housemaid packing is not the issue you should ask urself one question and that is, what is the reaction of ur man when u caught him the act may he has concluded to settle with househelp who knows, or he might show remorse to what he did and start beging on his own who knows equally. but note u might start it and the man will tell you that he has made up his mind what will you do. Maybe you not been performing ur duties as a wife, in bed and otherwise. Think about it,

You should get the heart of your husband, need buckle up in any area of your weakness and take your stand in your matrimonial home, drive that housemaid away.No need to fight over this issue and be prayerful. God bless you.

I will grab a chair and watch the show.

I'll award them medals for playin me for so long, ryt b4 i grab the SHOTGUN