I didn't caress the teacher's buttocks — I only dusted dirt off it… Part 2


*Story continues:

©COLLEGE 101


-Few minutes after the civic education teacher left.


"Wonder shall never end. There must be a reason behind these guys' seriousness today  o," Benita exclaimed, clapping hands. 


"Backbenchers, Hiah!"they hardly copy notes, but today they support the continuation of note taking, there is no smoke without fire."

Anita, her twin, chipped in.

While the other girls nodded in support. 


At the back seat, we were busy with ludo, partly engrossed in it. We heard them rightly, but assumed. Then I spotted Ilyass whispering in the Monitress' ear. I knew immediately what Ilyass was up to.


Ilyass was nicknamed SNAKE for his sneaky attitude. He leaked info to the girls for a returned friendship towards him, fully knowing he was not attractive at all. IGUANA as the girls would call him...he would cry his eyeballs out contemptuously. Though he was an orphan — that was the very reason we speared him for most of his attitudes. But that day, I was determined to show him the bad side of me.

I tapped Bomboi.


Before we could stop him the time bomb had detonated. 

Sinorita the newscaster as we called her, sprang up and yelped. "I yhaaff no d reason!, I yhaff know the reason!!. Na because of b—buttocks,no wonder, Ashawo united!, see them" pointing at us.

The others stood up to her proclamations.


We exchanged Surprised looks amongst ourselves.


"Nnamdi. Audu. Make una go bring that stupid guy" I ordered pointing at Ilyas.


Nnamdi, Audu and a few others. Were the backbencher's BOUNCER: huge, muscular and emphatically wicked. Surprised?; our class was like a mini country with every student, his/her own post. Though the girls had their own BI-CLASS seeking independence...but we wouldn't let it.


The girls formed a wall around Ilyass preventing the BOUNCERS from taking him. They tried applying force but the girls screamed — they had to let go.


Jagaband stood up, dropped down the ludo from his lap and picked his duffel and staggered towards them.

"Shey una dey craze ahbi, una mama no train una well?"


"It's your mother that did not train you well, bastard!" Benita fired.


Jagaband who was known as the MAD COMEDIAN laughed at her and back pocketed his duffel partly."


" Who dey breathe? see Mickey mouse of yesterday, se—see them," pointing at Anita, benita's twin.

"Goats of the same mumurity stray together…"


We burst into laughter. Laughter nearly killed us.


This shattered Anita's heart. "See this ugly duck…"


"E no s—sweet!..." We burst into another round of laughter. 


"E pain them" the girls chorused.


Jagaband continued " see I no get una time, make una realese this mumu for us make we teach am lesson…see am, see as he dey shake."  Pointing towards Ilyas who hid under a table shielded by Amina.


"No wonder!, una relate?" Said pointing towards Amina. "  see mouth  like pig. Pig begets pig. So Amina goes with Ilyas! Wawa!."


The delay angered me." Break formation jor! enough of the jokes". I took a long wooden ruler lying against the wall and dashed towards them.


They all scampered for safety screaming their hearts out. .


"Thunder fire you! Ilyass thunder fire you" I attempted landing him a thunderous slap.


Chance. Luck.  Whatever it was that saved Ilyass from my wrath,left me unsatisfied.


"What the hell is happening!" A fat, Stout, and masculine figure entered.


We all scampered to our seats….


Part 3 loading….


™ Musty strange.