Great advice

Raalsalghul:
I'm trying to fathom why a lot of Nigerians do this most especially religious leaders and family members.

They see a young man earning little change which probably is just enough to take care of himself and voila they start with their "Marriage Chants".

They won't give you job links, suggest business ideas, skills to learn or investment schemes. It's always "when are you getting married"?.

Haba!

Op, if you know what is good for you, your future kids and Nigeria at large, forget that marriage talk for now.

Peradventure, your finances are not enough for an education in Europe, then there must be some local certifications which you can use to increase your employment prospects in that same U.A.E.

Also start at looking at I.T fields you can delve into while working.

I repeat, flush away any thought of marriage from your mind at this moment, you still have age on your side. Don't let anyone hoodwink you with that "only son" talk.

I can't stress the above enough.

Klass99:


I really think he knows something, the rest of us don't

You have you married? What's holding you back?

Honestly nothing oh, but I want to Japa first. I have a job which I consider very satisfying but my seniors who even earn way more are Japa'ing, so omoh I need to Japa too. Last last na only herdsmen go remain for this country.

[quote author=abisoye2 post=106212358]Nairaland has always been a place of resort when it comes to finding lasting solution to one's problem/albatross as this platform is beclouded with cerebral intellectuals.

==> I am a young man of 27 years old from an average background. I'm currently outside the country earning little above #200k doing blue colar job in one of the Emirates of UAE. I have NCE certificate in one of the Colleges of Education in Nigeria of which I intended to further into Degree(BSc) in Nigeria before travel opportunity showcased which I obliged.
However, I wish to migrate to one the European countries preferably through study route(as one of the easy way to migrate) so as to acquire my Degree(Bsc, because I have great passion for education) and to improve my life(you understand) before considering anything else. Only SON ? you will not understand your mother now . forget your plan keep working were you are now . Try build five rooms and marry please .

U funny....

CrystalSpark:
I feel like an alien reading this piece. I love my parents but they know better than to propose anything to me. Even if it’s for my own good!

Bros you don’t have a problem. Tell your mother to go and adopt a new child if she’s bored with the others!

tensazangetsu20:
Whatever you do don't get married in your present situation. You will hate your life. Focus on Japaing to Europe from your present location to continue your studies. You are a man you can marry in your 40s and 50s. Young marriage isn't for African men from poor families.

Hmm

Well I will advice that your plan is actually right and very ok with your plan, just tell your mum that are thought and your thought are the same that she should continue praying for you. I will advice you go for Poland or Germany though the admission opportunity for now is closed for Poland until January but I am not sure of Germany. So admission fee for Poland and the school fee now is almost 2ma if not over because of the naira free fall. But you can google it and process it online. Pls don't give any stupid agent money ooooo. Well for the business side I will advice you go for leverage business that is what the rich men do, let your money work for you....for more info visit google and and b active on social media

klickstar:
THis is your life not any other person's my brother if you allow society to determine your future you will end up in rat race you will think you're doing well but the only thing you will be able to afford is basic needs and nothing tangible my brother don't into trap like most of us you're on the verge of being successful it might take a while don't let village people play with your only way out it's better to get marry at 40 as a man and enjoy the rest of your life than marry early and be contemplating suicide please learn from my mistake 27 is still a foundation stage don't rush into suffering stabilize and live well I beg don't follow the old mentality o
My brother jowo mawo one chance o

Hmm

My brother follow your plan, pursue your dream.
Don't reason any Building project because it's not going to yield any return.
Just find a way to convince your mother that she should give you sometime.

Juicy001:


Bros, listen to mumsy..
You might feel you dont need a woman but how about a woman that will support you? Pray, Encourage and also put you in line when ever you're going off course?
Your mum cant do all that na,
Dont just look at it from the negative side but also the positive side, you're just scared of the unknown and its understandable cus we are humans,its in our nature....
Def it's not something to rush into but think about it...
Cuz in my opinion, omoh na to marry continue with your dreams till they become reality, nothing sure pass this one.
Remain blessed

@

ebuk4real:


Love the last sentence. I am 35yrs & the pressure to marry is here but earnings 40k. I am telling myself to hold on till 40yrs and doubting if I am not making mistake o

M

Klass99:


The bolded made me smile.

You go japa finish, come begin look for home based wife when you settle there and start seeing akata women as not being a suitable partner.

Your seniors who earn more but are leaving or have left, how are they really doing now? I hear scary stories of people like that who end up returning to Naija because they were actually better off here than there.

Some have gone, while others are in the process of leaving with their wife & kids.

Forget those scar stories, people are doing very well abroad. Some others are stuck due to illegal travel docs overstaying their visiting Visa & wasting their life away but professionals who travel with legal docs are doing great.

This home base / foreign wife matter is a serious issue. Every man traveling already made up their minds that they have 50% probability of picking the wrong person as a wife, but what choice do we have?

tensazangetsu20:
Whatever you do don't get married in your present situation. You will hate your life. Focus on Japaing to Europe from your present location to continue your studies. You are a man you can marry in your 40s and 50s. Young marriage isn't for African men from poor families.

What is Japaing? Does it mean moving to Japan?

CountVersailles:

Strong word here. Really sad that not all women are ready for a hard time.

My sister, me gaan as a man no dey ready for hard time oh

thesmallgod:

This is a wrong advice. You can still marry late and still regret your life.

But you would have less time alive to suffer your regrets.

The intensity of a regret is worsened by the time available to one to face it.

abisoye2:
Nairaland has always been a place of resort when it comes to finding lasting solution to one's problem/albatross as this platform is beclouded with cerebral intellectuals.

==> I am a young man of 27 years old from an average background. I'm currently outside the country earning little above #200k doing blue colar job in one of the Emirates of UAE. I have NCE certificate in one of the Colleges of Education in Nigeria of which I intended to further into Degree(BSc) in Nigeria before travel opportunity showcased which I obliged.
However, I wish to migrate to one the European countries preferably through study route(as one of the easy way to migrate) so as to acquire my Degree(Bsc, because I have great passion for education) and to improve my life(you understand) before considering anything else.

I have been saving larger portion of my salaries to around #2.7m which is not enough for my plan but i'm still managing my work and still saving to actualize my plan with the help of God.

Sorry I forgot to tell you intellectuals that I'm the only Son among 6 children and I'm sinlge. Now, my mother back home is trying to tell me to start a building project on our vacant land and indirectly proposing 'getting married' to me as the larger part of her prayers when discussing on phone is how God should give me a good woman, the loving woman...(you know African Mothers').
It's good to note that my elder sisters have birthed children so Mum is already a "Grandma". I tried to explain to her politely that my plan is not to marry now or spending my little money on building a house only to halfway and continue struggling and saving from scratch rather to develop myself first and then money will come with it and I can now consider marriage afterwards.

I Also think about business but I think it's risky. Also, marrying and leaving my wife back home doesn't sit well with me and bringing her here making family wouldn't be easy as maintaining family is expensive here and there is no child benefit/support compared to the west. Perhaps taking care of my widow mother and taking care of wife/family and sometimes relatives wahala from my paltry salary is striking fear into my bone marrow.

So, getting married now/starting a building project would take away my money and might shatter my plans.

Great Nairalanders, please I am confused, advise me, come to my rescue!

Admin, please help my life by pushing this for me. E dakun!

Incase u need substitution on ur current job, pls tell me

27 and you're calling yourself a young man. Pity

You don't need any atom of advice other than the one you have given yourself and my only advice is to be finding little pocket money for your widow mum and focus on your plans for self expansion, the only reasons for all those of your mum proposals are" my son is in overseas" meaning her son has becomes Rich and the poor woman don't know whats up.

Raalsalghul:
I'm trying to fathom why a lot of Nigerians do this most especially religious leaders and family members.

They see a young man earning little change which probably is just enough to take care of himself and voila they start with their "Marriage Chants".

They won't give you job links, suggest business ideas, skills to learn or investment schemes. It's always "when are you getting married"?.

Haba!

Op, if you know what is good for you, your future kids and Nigeria at large, forget that marriage talk for now.

Peradventure, your finances are not enough for an education in Europe, then there must be some local certifications which you can use to increase your employment prospects in that same U.A.E.

Also start at looking at I.T fields you can delve into while working.

I repeat, flush away any thought of marriage from your mind at this moment, you still have age on your side. Don't let anyone hoodwink you with that "only son" talk.

I can't stress the above enough.

Dude still have like 8 years ahead. You right

abisoye2:
Nairaland has always been a place of resort when it comes to finding lasting solution to one's problem/albatross as this platform is beclouded with cerebral intellectuals.

==> I am a young man of 27 years old from an average background. I'm currently outside the country earning little above #200k doing blue colar job in one of the Emirates of UAE. I have NCE certificate in one of the Colleges of Education in Nigeria of which I intended to further into Degree(BSc) in Nigeria before travel opportunity showcased which I obliged.
However, I wish to migrate to one the European countries preferably through study route(as one of the easy way to migrate) so as to acquire my Degree(Bsc, because I have great passion for education) and to improve my life(you understand) before considering anything else.

I have been saving larger portion of my salaries to around #2.7m which is not enough for my plan but i'm still managing my work and still saving to actualize my plan with the help of God.

Sorry I forgot to tell you intellectuals that I'm the only Son among 6 children and I'm sinlge. Now, my mother back home is trying to tell me to start a building project on our vacant land and indirectly proposing 'getting married' to me as the larger part of her prayers when discussing on phone is how God should give me a good woman, the loving woman...(you know African Mothers').
It's good to note that my elder sisters have birthed children so Mum is already a "Grandma". I tried to explain to her politely that my plan is not to marry now or spending my little money on building a house only to halfway and continue struggling and saving from scratch rather to develop myself first and then money will come with it and I can now consider marriage afterwards.

I Also think about business but I think it's risky. Also, marrying and leaving my wife back home doesn't sit well with me and bringing her here making family wouldn't be easy as maintaining family is expensive here and there is no child benefit/support compared to the west. Perhaps taking care of my widow mother and taking care of wife/family and sometimes relatives wahala from my paltry salary is striking fear into my bone marrow.

So, getting married now/starting a building project would take away my money and might shatter my plans.

Great Nairalanders, please I am confused, advise me, come to my rescue!

Admin, please help my life by pushing this for me. E dakun!

Don't start any project on any land yet and even if you want to build, buy land in ur name

About marriage, am a lady and the way we ladies Abi the nowadays women behaves is quite shameful... Them go dey sleep with different men even while in Dr husband's house not to talk of u wey dey aboard

Tell ur mummy u are working towards marrying a 9ja gal that stays oversee and Abeg Continue ur Education while using one eyes to look for a decent gal shikena

I believe this situation Everyman has to face one time or the other. It will end in praise

pansophist:
Usually people give advice base on their own worldview, which is largely shaped by their generational period and gender. Because she is your mother doesn't mean she knows the best for you. Yes, she wants the best for you, but she does not know the best for you. Let that sink in.

Also, you should listen to advice from people who you admire their lifestyle. Not trying to be insulting, but if your mum that have spent at least 20 years on earth before birthing you could not figure it out financially and depends on you who was here when she was an adult, then listen to her, nod your head like a lizard, but do what's best for you.

Thirdly, telling you to get married is not a bad advice, but you don't have to listen to it. Marriage by nature, marriage is an institution that improves your current situation, not to make it worse. Unless the girl you'll marry will somehow make your life better, e.g, is equally educated, financially stable, or God help you, have a foreign passport and loves you, then by all means, get married to her.

But if you'll marry now a lady that doesn't equally compliments you financially, and you start doing the financial lifting of her and God forbid, her family, and after performing all the expensive marriage rites, you'll either bring her to UAE, or be sending cash while she stays in Nigeria (and God help you if she is not loyal), then don't get married. I'm not against lifting people, but have strong leg first, not when you're trying to survive.

I'm not saying you shouldn't marry a woman who you'll lift financially, but at your situation, it's suicidal. It's like giving someone the only seed you have, instead of planting it first, let it germinate, and you can give as much fruit as you want. Only get marry if you are strong, that your wife's money won't bother you. Not now. Please.

About land. I can't help but say, are you mad? Don't try that nonsense. After buying, then you'll begin constructing, and may God help you if your family are not trustworthy. But even if they are, how does it improves your situation? Why not work on being strong? That should be your only priority. Be strong financially first. And when you're wealthy enough, you'll even buy a house in London, no problem. And if you have actually traveled around, buying a land and building a house in Nigeria will turn you off.

If I were you, I'll just get an admission and move to Europe. There are lots of schools in places like Poland where the tuition fee is less than one million naira. Move to Europe, and money won't be a problem. Even if you have only primary school cert, if you're not lazy, you'll make so much money in Europe. Some of the dumbest douchbag that I know makes at least 1500 euros doing menial jobs in places like Germany or Netherlands, and Poland is just an hour drive from Berlin.

Forgive your mum, for she doesn't know what she is doing. This historical quote that Jesus said on the cross of calvary is how you should approach your mum. She doesn't know better. And if you make the mistake and refuse to develop your finances and make other people happy instead, you'll regret it. Not a threat, but a fact. And it's more painful because you're the cause of your own agony. You wont have the luxury to blame anyone. And they would see you as stupid, and what you will hear is, "you've been abroad since, what did you achieve"? Doesn't matter if you suspend your goal to help them. That's hell. You've been advised.

Gerrard59, Tensazangetsu20, Raalsalghul. Thanks very much. Your advice make sense. I hope the op listen to it.

Thanks boss.

I didn't read through other people's responses but here is mine ( that is if someone else hasn't said it).

1. Forget about marriage now ( but please let your mom know how much your pay check is and that it can't do jack for you).

2. As for going to Europe here is my concrete advice.

2a: register for TOEFL or IELTS there in Dubai ( it seems easy out there than in Nigeria) and ensure you get a good grade.

2b. find schools that offers the BSc program of your choice in English language in any of the following countries; Netherlands, Belgium, France, Germany, Finland and Poland. These countries have very low tuition compare to the UK.

With a good English test results, WAEC and superb statement of purpose and references you can get admission. You can do 20 hours weekly student job and fund your education without much stress. Though it might take a little while to settle in properly but eventually you will.

3. At the end of your BSc you can migrate to UK, Canada or USA to pursue a MSc degree but if it turns out you love it where you did your BSc you can easily build your life there.

This is my one cent. Good luck and please remain focus.

Raalsalghul:


I agree, but there's need to always have some physical cash lying around in case of emergencies.

Not all investments can easily be liquidated.

To be fair, it's better leaving one's money lying in the account than investing considering how volatile and toxic Nigerians and Nigeria is for business currently. Despite my research, I've lost a lot of money to several investments myself.

tensazangetsu20:

As for saving make sure to save in dollars or crypto stable coins to beat inflation. Dont do any foolish business in Nigeria o.

Is there any coin that is stable in crypto besides USD teether?

JIREN01:
To be fair, it's better leaving one's money lying in the account than investing considering how volatile and toxic Nigerians and Nigeria is for business currently. Despite my research, I've lost a lot of money to several investments myself.

Hmmmm.

An interesting perspective, but one has to consider inflation and devaluation.

Perfect advise. Please OP...i appeal to you to download this advise and act on it very fast. African family have a style of keeping themselves in perpetual poverty in form of entanglement and unnecessary loads that would tie you down and debar you from progressing.

Raalsalghul:
I'm trying to fathom why a lot of Nigerians do this most especially religious leaders and family members.

They see a young man earning little change which probably is just enough to take care of himself and voila they start with their "Marriage Chants".

They won't give you job links, suggest business ideas, skills to learn or investment schemes. It's always "when are you getting married"?.

Haba!

Op, if you know what is good for you, your future kids and Nigeria at large, forget that marriage talk for now.

Peradventure, your finances are not enough for an education in Europe, then there must be some local certifications which you can use to increase your employment prospects in that same U.A.E.

Also start at looking at I.T fields you can delve into while working.

I repeat, flush away any thought of marriage from your mind at this moment, you still have age on your side. Don't let anyone hoodwink you with that "only son" talk.

I can't stress the above enough.

AlabiKILLER2021:





Alabi to the rescue


Use the 2.7m

Carry
Man u to hammer Villarreal
Dortmund to beat Besiktas
Chelsea to score against Juve

We talking 3 odds here

2.7 m x 3
Will bounce back as around 7m or more


Reharshe it on Saturday strictly 3 odds

7mx 3
You getting 21m




Remember, Alabi jazz too strong

Which kyn yeye advise be dat... imagine OP going into gambling

abisoye2:
Nairaland has always been a place of resort when it comes to finding lasting solution to one's problem/albatross as this platform is beclouded with cerebral intellectuals.

==> I am a young man of 27 years old from an average background. I'm currently outside the country earning little above #200k doing blue colar job in one of the Emirates of UAE. I have NCE certificate in one of the Colleges of Education in Nigeria of which I intended to further into Degree(BSc) in Nigeria before travel opportunity showcased which I obliged.
However, I wish to migrate to one the European countries preferably through study route(as one of the easy way to migrate) so as to acquire my Degree(Bsc, because I have great passion for education) and to improve my life(you understand) before considering anything else.

I have been saving larger portion of my salaries to around #2.7m which is not enough for my plan but i'm still managing my work and still saving to actualize my plan with the help of God.

Sorry I forgot to tell you intellectuals that I'm the only Son among 6 children and I'm sinlge. Now, my mother back home is trying to tell me to start a building project on our vacant land and indirectly proposing 'getting married' to me as the larger part of her prayers when discussing on phone is how God should give me a good woman, the loving woman...(you know African Mothers').
It's good to note that my elder sisters have birthed children so Mum is already a "Grandma". I tried to explain to her politely that my plan is not to marry now or spending my little money on building a house only to halfway and continue struggling and saving from scratch rather to develop myself first and then money will come with it and I can now consider marriage afterwards.

I Also think about business but I think it's risky. Also, marrying and leaving my wife back home doesn't sit well with me and bringing her here making family wouldn't be easy as maintaining family is expensive here and there is no child benefit/support compared to the west. Perhaps taking care of my widow mother and taking care of wife/family and sometimes relatives wahala from my paltry salary is striking fear into my bone marrow.

So, getting married now/starting a building project would take away my money and might shatter my plans.

Great Nairalanders, please I am confused, advise me, come to my rescue!

Admin, please help my life by pushing this for me. E dakun!

For the fact that you ate her only son, she wants you to get married and birth a child that will be part of your father's family, because your sisters children belongs to another man's family but still part of your family indirectly

So if you want to marry, make it clear to your partner that you will have to be shuttling home and Dubai because you are yet to get settled and may wish to relocate down to Nigeria after studies or go to Europe if you find a genuine way

The essence of this is for her to be aware of her stand, so that in the future she won't pressure you that she wants to come over

The issue of building, that will come at a stable time, you can't still renovate your father's house and it will look modern

That will be enough till you are able to demolish it and start to build a more befitting house

She wants to back and carry your own child which realy belongs to her husband family, your own father

The high rate of yahoo + in Nigeria is caused by Nigerian mothers. Competition everywhere, your mother telling you to build a house without knowing how much you earn.
Maybe your mother has seen how mama Tunde's son who lived in UAE is now building a house and also has married. And now she indirectly wants you to do like Tunde without minding Tundes business.
Do you see why most Nigerian youths are into crime just to make that money by all means in other to please their parents? My son has made it!
One young guy told me some time ago that if I should show him the way to make this money, that he is ready to do anything to get the money. That he wants to build a house and buy a car for his mother. Just imagine!
With this mentality get rich or die trying, crime will never stop in Nigeria.
My brother, I think you are lying to your mother concerning your situation over there. Be truthful to her, tell her what you are passing through and when you do she will never tell you again about building a house or getting married. But if she continues to tell you to build a house and get married which means she wants you to get that money by all means (crime).
Don't send money to anybody in Nigeria in the name to invest or do business for you otherwise, you will lose your hard earn money. Even your blood don't try it. Anything you want to do come down to Nigeria to do it by yourself.
Continue saving money and also try to acquire ICT skills.
Stay in Dubai and Prosper in the name of God!!!!