showoff:

Like I was saying,we never seem to reason alike,he doesn't see things my own way and I don't see things his own way really his reasoning is very awkward.His thoughts are old school.I could remember one day I woke up in the midnight and was looking at him.I was like is it me that married dis man?How can?U know.When he is wrong he would never agree and say sorry,instead he will be arguing blindly.as in using Ogboju.I have one weakness,which is I dont know how to hide my feelings.I believe wen u offend me or do something wrong,i will tell u strait off.I might go on and on explaining myself until av said everything I have in mind,after which I will feel relieved and he doesn't want to understand that, that is me.Anyway I was like av married him already wot can I do?Let us continue to patch it. He was not caring not to talk of romantic.He doesn't know how to pet a woman.A times i will intentional frown my face u know,like wanting him to show affection and ask me wot is wrong with me,just to pet me,but he doesn't even know whether u are happy or not.No cuddling nothing.Just imagine his insensitivity.Imagine u calling somebody your hubby,he would neva call to ask me if av gotten to the office or not when i leave home in the morning especially wen it rains.I will be d one calling him most of the times.We had several issues really,like him wanting to travel and not tell me beforehand.he might just tell 2 days to dat time.u know.It got to a point that he would just tell me sori i av an urgent biz call,am on d way am in Ibadan.Well he started behaving like a mafia,as if he is playing games with me.He will tell me he is going to A and A friend mit jst call me not 4 amebo sake.How are you?I saw your hubby at another location and I asked him to greet u.hope he delivered my msg,u know.And he would not want me to challenge him.He keeps late night and he doesnt want me to complain.He will want to make love with me and he will never want to do pre-intimacy.U know.To be continued

Deep Soul:

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][color=#006600]Wow. I'm not 30. I'm 7yrs away from 30. Yet I felt a strong connection with the issues being raised here.


I love him, yeah. But I'm consumed with thoughts about a future with him. Negative thoughts.

I am still very young, on paper. But I feel so old. Right from when I was born, I'd always been wayyy ahead of my age.

I have this feeling of impending doom come over me when I think of marriage (with him). But I am scared to take that step and leave.
I ask myself if I'd ever find sm1 else I can love. . . .I know guys will come, but how would I feel about them? ( I can be very "unfeeling" smtimes!)

Deep Soul:

Wow. I'm not 30. I'm 7yrs away from 30. Yet I felt a strong connection with the issues being raised here.

I am in a 2yr+ r/ship and we are supposed to be married smtime June-ish. [color=Black]But these days, I ask myself if i can live with this man whom I love.

The things he does and his level of reasoning (esp when he's upset) are "jaw-droppingly" amazing.

because we have been together for almost three years, I have seen all his good and bad sides.

I love him, yeah. But I'm consumed with thoughts about a future with him. Negative thoughts.

I am still very young, on paper. But I feel so old. Right from when I was born, I'd always been wayyy ahead of my age.

I have this feeling of impending doom come over me when I think of marriage (with him). But I am scared to take that step and leave.
I ask myself if I'd ever find sm1 else I can love. . . .I know guys will come, but how would I feel about them? ( I can be very "unfeeling" smtimes!)
I don't wanna be 30 and single (sorry, ladies).

I have so much to do with my life. I'd like to start having kids early, get it over with and continue with doing my thing.
My mum always says "the earlier, the better".

But reading posts such as the one below, I have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. . . .[/color]

H2O2:

Go ahead and dump him.  When you're 35, single, and desperate you'll be back here telling us about your "regrets" .

~Sissy~:

OR maybe go and marry him. when she is 25 or 26 then come back here and tell us how he treats her a like a piece of trash and then we will all ask in chorus " didnt you guys date? didnt you see all this then? why did you go ahead and marry?" next it will be "some women are silly, women and their desperation for marriage and how they always go for the bad guys who will treat them like a piece of shi[i]t[/i] all in the name marriage"

you think that sounds better

~Sissy~:

OR maybe go and marry him. when she is 25 or 26 then come back here and tell us how he treats her a like a piece of trash and then we will all ask in chorus " didnt you guys date? didnt you see all this then? why did you go ahead and marry?" next it will be "some women are silly, women and their desperation for marriage and how they always go for the bad guys who will treat them like a piece of shi[i]t[/i] all in the name marriage"

you think that sounds better

Nwaka77:


Thank you my sister.

@Poster
Look at Nairaland and all the sorry stories of infidelity, people catching STD from their spouse and the story of "I am married but in love with another". Why can't people wait on God's time? Besides children come from him. We humans always think we have it all figured out and we have our destiny in our hands. Wrong! Wait on God's time and you will have no regret.

H2O2:

both scenarios are purely speculative since no one knows what tomorrow holds. like i said, if she's okay and sees no problem with the possibility of being 35, single, and desperate then more grease to her elbow.

~Sissy~:

but why the " possibility of being 35, single, and desperate" because if she leaves her BF that makes her feel unease then shes doomed and will never find another husband or BF again

youre still reiterating the same thing which is suck it up and deal it, because if you leave him now, you have the possibility of never finding another man, even at the tend age of 23

H2O2:

Because that limit tends to reality dear. It's not an unheard of anomaly as you're making it seem . . . it actually happens.

I'm not directly opposed to her dumping him. If she's dumping him for precarious reasons, then it is more than likely that she could fall into a similar hole again with the next man she gets involed with.

If she's aware of what's missing and she knows what she's looking for then since she has this man she can seek it out in him;

I disagree. I won't tell her to suck it up and deal with it, but I am making sure she's aware of the huge possibility that it could happen to her. Thinking it won't happen to you means you're just not thinking as they say.

~Sissy~:

not making it seem/sound 'anomaly', my issue is why make the mistake of stepping into something with this unease mindset while you still have the chance to make a free decision. a bad relationship is always better than a bad marriage.

how so?

meaning, work it out him and see if he changes?

in other words, think wise before leaving this your BF, because a bird at hand is always better than those on the tree?

H2O2:

Meaning try to work it out and see if a change is possible. If it's a missing component that cannot be change then find someone else.

H2O2:

It's never been a do or die affair, but life's not always greener on the other side either.

~Sissy~:

got it. still doesnt mean one should be eating the dust either especially in this day and time

H2O2:

To quantify that, if the level of wickedness in this man is that alarmingly high when he's upset - as this woman claims she's seen the good and the worst, she should take the initiative to leave now instead of being blindly in love. If the anger at its height has not driven her away by now, I really don't know what other answers she's looking for . . . other than the uncertainties within her that's causing her to have goose bumps or get cold feet. It happens to plenty of people. Nonetheless, she can either introspect and figure out what she wants like I said earlier, or she can simply end it now instead of both party wasting their time.

~Sissy~:

agree. the early, the better

no1madman:

when's God's time?[/b]single women knows y they r not married. .something is definitely wrong somewhere.
women have to apply common sense when choosing a partner and d ability to choose at d right time.
note:Marriage is not 4 everyone. .some cannot cope with Marital stress,some r not even marriage materials. .i'll say remain single if u cannot handle marriage because u r better off being single. .as a matter of fact it's a double standard.

Or better should the Atheist amongst us also wait for 'GOD's Time'?

@ POST
[b]MARRY WHENEVER YOU ARE READY(WHEN IT SUITS YOU)

no1madman:

when's God's time?single women knows y they r not married. .something is definitely wrong somewhere.
women have to apply common sense when choosing a partner and d ability to choose at d right time.
note:Marriage is not 4 everyone. .some cannot cope with Marital stress,some r not even marriage materials. .i'll say remain single if u cannot handle marriage because u r better off being single. .as a matter of fact it's a double standard.

dynamite2012: Why do women tell themselves stupid lies about love and marriage? Why would anyone think women should get pickier at the age of 30? That's pure foolishness. Sorry, at the age of 30, your days of being choosy and selective are over for two reasons:

1) The pool of suitable men for you (i.e. men between the ages of 28-45) is now significantly smaller than the pool you had when you were 25. Men that might have looked your way a few years ago will look away now because you're no longer age-appropriate. The pool gets even smaller if you're hoping to marry a man that's at least on the same level with you educationally or socio-economically. This is just the hard, unvarnished truth.

2) Even given your now limited pool of eligible bachelors, the very best men are already taken! The age of 30 is not the age to start being picky over ultimately irrelevant things. At 30, your criteria should be rational and not emotional/idealistic. You should be looking for traits like hard-working, intelligent, emotionally stable, loving, respectful, self-disciplined and spiritual instead of focusing on ideal traits like doctor/engineer/banker-tall-dark-rich-and-handsome-with-a-6pack-and-a-big-kondo. If you could pull those kinds of "ideal" men, you would have done so at the age of 24, 25 or 26. Now that you're 30, you had better cut your dreams according to reality. If you need a reality check, go talk to the thousands of stunning, successful Lagos mamas that waited too long until they turned 37 and ultimately had to settle for ANYTHING that produces viable sperm (or worse still, a married man!!!!).

It's so tragic that Hollywood/Nollywood has sold us all a bag of dreams that's based on complete and utter nonsense. Why do women still foolishly think a successful marriage has anything to do with love especially when research shows that temperamentally-suited couples tend to grow in love together, AFTER marriage. That's why arranged marriages still work well, even in this day and age! It just makes me sad when I see foolish, old maids still looking for thunder-and-lightening romance at the age of 35!!!! Puhlease!!!!! That shit is just plain foolish and unrealistic. The sooner we start telling ourselves the truth, the better for everybody.