Acidosis:

Yes, you will lose your respect when your respect is built on money and nothing else. Build your respect on values, lifestyle, and things that are more sustainable.

exactly
this is the truth, valid at all times.

Sincerely, my wife really tried. It's not easy for a man to loose his job oh! I wouldn't say she was disrespectful like that... Though it came with few complains like; u don't care about your looks like u used to, your dressing has dropped, you're always expressionless and sine other kini. I think my mother in-law helped me Sha cos wifey told me her mother was on my side in those trying times.. she once complained to her mom, expecting to get some words on her side, but she scolded her. Told her to stand in for my while the time passes cos when things were rosy she didn't come with any complain. My mother in-law na better woman.

Rubbiish:

This is just it!
The moment u stop providing as a man that love will automatically fade out! You will just be in that woman's life as a ceremonial husband, but that affection will no longer be there. There is a serious connection between a man's ability to provide & a woman's love. Most family living happily in our society today is because of the man's ability to provide!

True, I should accept in my heart that love is conditional.

Rubbiish:

We are not saying the same thing!
The op clearly stated being out of job & not being rich like dangote. Do not change the the topic! If u are not able to provide the basic things needed to run a family as a man because u are out of job, it won't be long before your family will start treating u with contempt! You can call it ATM or whatever u like, but the truth is kids see parents as their provider, reason they will run to their parents for school fees or any type of billing. There must always be an exception, but u can't compare the number of family living happily because of the man's ability to provide basic necessities needed to run a family to that poor family living unhappily due to penury. Nobody wants poverty, a man being out of job shouldn't be for long else the respect his family have for him will dwindle. It is natural.

@bold I do not understand your last paragraph, can u be more explicit?

The last paragraph implies that merely making money cannot earn you respect as a family man. If your kids catch you cheating on their mother, just forget about respect even if you earn and provide all the money in the world.

Havesomesense:


Would you still love her, when your finances is restored after you have sperated?

The idea of separating was not about love, it was to avoid hating her should I stay and she begins to disrespect me. I don't want to hate her to the point i don't want to see her again.

But this is just hypothetical, I have nEver been in that position and I don't want to be. But if I have no other option, I'll take that.

elmagnifico411:
Sincerely, my wife really tried. It's not easy for a man to loose his job oh! I wouldn't say she was disrespectful like that... Though it came with few complains like; u don't care about your looks like u used to, your dressing has dropped, you're always expressionless and sine other kini. I think my mother in-law helped me Sha cos wifey told me her mother was on my side in those trying times.. she once complained to her mom, expecting to get some words on her side, but she scolded her. Told her to stand in for my while the time passes cos when things were rosy she didn't come with any complain. My mother in-law na better woman.

I hope things are better with you financially now?

Havesomesense:


What type of lifestyle, values?
And what are the things that are more sustainable?

I anticipate your reply. Thanks

By showing respect to the wife and kids. Be there for them when they need you; by not being a drunkard that comes home late every night with smelly shirts; have principles (e.g. kids shouldn't see you cheating on their mother or maltreating their mother), other virtues, etc.

Acidosis:



The last paragraph implies that merely making money cannot earn you respect as a family man. If your kids catch you cheating on their mother, just forget about respect even if you earn and provide all the money in the world.

I don't agree.

Back then in secondary school & uni, few of my friends were aware that their father was cheating and it didn't reduce their respect for their dad because their father always paid their school fees and gave them enough allowance.

I even didn't mind to have their kind of father.

Acidosis:


By showing respect to the wife and kids. Be there for them when they need you; by not being a drunkard that comes home late every night with smelly shirts; have principles (e.g. kids shouldn't see you cheating on their mother or maltreating their mother), other virtues, etc.

Alright.

Havesomesense:


I don't agree.

Back then in secondary school & uni, few of my friends were aware that their father was cheating and it didn't reduce their respect for their dad because their father always paid their school fees and gave them enough allowance.

I even didn't mind to have their kind of father.

Lol. How do you know they respect their fathers?

Acidosis:

The last paragraph implies that merely making money cannot earn you respect as a family man. If your kids catch you cheating on their mother, just forget about respect even if you earn all the money in the world.

Are u a lady?
This doesn't tally with the topic under discus at all. What has cheating got to do with staying out of job? So because u are rich, u can kill your wife & the kids will be happy with u? This is not what we are saying, making money is not a license to start hurting your family. We are talking about a man losing his source of income, meaning he will be unable to provide basic necessities as feeding, health, education etc. When a man loses his job, it means the family responsibilities automatically falls on the wife that is if the wife is engaged, so in a situation where the wife is also jobless, how will they cope? How can d kids be happy under such situation? & u are talking about respect? A man shouldn't stay out of job for too long else he will gradually lose his respect in the face of his family & society. God gave Adam a garden before giving him a wife, the society expects a man to be gainfully employed before taking a wife, there is a reason for that, because in marriage, a man will be needing a job. If the unexpected happens as life is full of up & down, a man should try hard not to stay out of job for too long, else he will be referred to as a lazy man unable to cater for his family. Not even u quoting me will respect such a man!

Rubbiish:

Are u a lady?
This doesn't tally with the topic under discus at all. What has cheating got to do with staying out of job? So because u are rich, u can kill your wife & the kids will be happy with u? This is not what we are saying, making money is not a license to start hurting your family. We are talking about a man losing his source of income, meaning he will be unable to provide basic necessities as feeding, health, education etc. When a man loses his job, it means the family responsibilities automatically falls on the wife that is if the wife is engaged, so in a situation where the wife is also jobless, how will they cope? How can d kids be happy under such situation? & u are talking about respect? A man shouldn't stay out of job for too long else he will gradually lose his respect in the face of his family & society. God gave Adam a garden before giving him a wife, the society expects a man to be gainfully employed before taking a wife, there is a reason for that, because in marriage, a man will be needing a job. If the unexpected happens as life is full of up & down, a man should try hard not to stay out of job for too long, else he will be referred to as a lazy man unable to cater for his family. Not even u quoting me will respect such a man!

The fact that many gainfully employed and well to do providing-men don't have the respect of their wives and children is enough to invalidate your assumption.


Also, how come some men lose their jobs and still earn respect from their wives, children??

Acidosis:


By showing respect to the wife and kids. Be there for them when they need you; by not being a drunkard that comes home late every night with smelly shirts; have principles (e.g. kids shouldn't see you cheating on their mother or maltreating their mother), other virtues, etc.

This is funny!
Lol I thought as much u are a lady
This is what u call values & will earn a man respect while he is jobless & unable to provide for his family? Chai! Women...

Acidosis:


The fact that many gainfully employed and well to do providing-men don't have the respect of their wives and children is enough to invalidate your assumption.


Also, how come some men lose their jobs and still earn respect from their wives, children??

What do u want??
A jobless man that stays at home all day & worship his wife, or a gainfully employed man that respect his wife? Are u saying a man should remain jobless just to respect his wife because u feel if he is gainfully employed, he will have a say? This is extremely shocking! What u are describing is a house boy u can control at will & not a husband!

Rubbiish:

This is funny!
Lol I thought as much u are a lady
This is what u call values & will earn a man respect while he is jobless & unable to provide for his family? Chai! Women...

You never know until you do any of those whilst providing money. Btw, I'm a man.

Rubbiish:

What do u want??
A jobless man that stays at home all day & worship his wife, or a gainfully employed man that respect his wife? Are u saying a man should remain jobless just to respect his wife because u feel if he is gainfully employed, he will have a say? This is extremely shocking! What u are describing is a house boy u can control at will & not a husband!

Losing one's job as depicted in the topic means remaining jobless forever?

Rubbiish:

You are not being honest here!
How do u mean build your respect on values, lifestyle? Will it put food on the table?
Respect comes with your ability to cater for your family as a man! The moment you start failing in your responsibility of providing for your family, that respect will begin to dwindle till it wanes out! Not even your kids are left out.

Even though your moniker belongs to the trashcan but your comment is reasonable.

That dude is being hypocritical. Having values and all without money is nothing.

Being dependent on a woman (especially those that are married) is one of the worst things a man could experience.

Acidosis:


If the "mom" in context never loved her (good) husband unconditionally, you will be damned to think she loves her son unconditionally if the son turns out to be a failure.

Money rules the world

My girl stood by me when I lost my previous job during the pandemic.

Main reason I'm marrying her. She's a keeper

Matheusmartin:
..
If all of these are true, then we should stop deceiving ourselves with love.

There is no "we" in this life we are.
Make your choice and let others make theirs.

Ues

Obaxxx:

Not yet married tho...But my current banny wey I don dey date for the past 6 years,I believe say she go stay and respect me if I lost my job...But you as the man,make sure you don't stay jobless for too long if not that respect go bolt leave you

this ur banny de give me joy!

Justbehave:
The only woman that can love you unconditionally is your mum.No job,no love.Fellas stop deceiving yourselves.

Fake lie...

Your mum won't love you if you are broke.
Nobody will love you.

Havesomesense:
It is the duty of a man to provide for the family, women consider financially buoyant men for relationships.

Imagine if you lost your job/business or your income reduced drastically.

Will your wife love you?
Will your wife be jovial with you?
Will your wife give you her palliative as usual?

Will she disrespect you in front of the kids and others?
Will she watch you starve when she has food in the kitchen?
Will she keep reminding you that you are not contributing anything?
Will she start seeking other mens' attention?
Will she Change?

I need honest answers.

Married for 10 years, I lost my job 3 years into the wedding till now nothing on me.

1,000 looks like a million naira now but we still live happily.

It's not going to be like this forever.

Havesomesense:


I don't agree.

Back then in secondary school & uni, few of my friends were aware that their father was cheating and it didn't reduce their respect for their dad because their father always paid their school fees and gave them enough allowance.

I even didn't mind to have their kind of father.

Being dependent on a person and respecting them are two different things.

Women that are ordain by God will love and still respect you when you lost your job.....!

make no mistakes...no woman will give you respect/love like she used to when you were working and putting food on the table.
Argue with you biro

Rubbiish:

But the truth is every family needs money to run & maintain a healthy family. Once a man is jobless, there will be no money to run that family the way it should & that alone will bring serious disrespect & contempt amongst family members. We saw it happened to Job in the bible, the moment he lost all he had, his wife & children abandoned him. Money is a very important tool to sustain love.

which stupid love instead life!

No one respect a broke man. You need to be up and doing. A man must be a man at all times!

Na with style that love go book and enter Uber leave you like crippled

No money no love
Even if small love come manage dey respect nor go dey

So don't be deceived

Even some mothers now dey choose the pikin wey get money as her favorite