Favfables1:



Kikikikikiki
She say na nairaland answer...

I dont know the kind of family you grew up in, buh in mine, every adult has already be made to understand that actions have consequences....and we're taught that before you make a decision you must reflect on the pros and cons of it..... because last last, when the consequences show up, we will not help you to bear it... We will advice against it and support where possible, but if you still decide to go through with it...then that's on you...

So if she has decided to be a baby daddy for a man, then that's her wahala.... But she shouldn't get angry when she calls anyone ((me specifically)) for diaper money and nobody ((I don't )) pick up

Yes o. The kind of responses we get on this forum. Too many unreal people here.

Klass99:


The bolded is a typical narrative by some nairaland male users, but do you guys ever stop to think that - YOU ARE, WHAT YOU ATTRACT? No offense meant either.

None taken...
Yes we are what we attract...
Thats why I and "SOME NAIRALAND MALE USERS" are not attracted to broke girls ...
"No offense meant either"

Hmmmm

confirm!

FlipModeSquade:
Traditional marriage institutions mostly favor women..

While the man is worked to death..

At the end the children only remembers their Mum as a Superwoman..

The man that put his body and health on the line..

To put food on their table..

Becomes an afterthought..

While the woman junkets from Miami to London to Paris..

In the name of Ọmụgwọ..

The old broken man sits at home counting his days..

With an occasional bottle of Gin and yards of clothes..

From his grateful children and in laws..

Tell me..

Why shouldn't a sensible being.

Have a rethink about an institution that takes so much from him..

And gives back so little?

Change is CONSTANT..

FlipModeSquade:
Traditional marriage institutions mostly favor women..

While the man is worked to death..

At the end the children only remembers their Mum as a Superwoman..

The man that put his body and health on the line..

To put food on their table..

Becomes an afterthought..

While the woman junkets from Miami to London to Paris..

In the name of Ọmụgwọ..

The old broken man sits at home counting his days..

With an occasional bottle of Gin and yards of clothes..

From his grateful children and in laws..

Tell me..

Why shouldn't a sensible being.

Have a rethink about an institution that takes so much from him..

And gives back so little?

Change is CONSTANT..

when a single father grow old, who will take care of him? Baby mama

Righteousness2:
It is pure Fornication and Immorality.

It is an ungodly lifestyle Innovated and Propagated from the Pit of Hell.

It is a Lifestyle that will Guarantee Destruction in Hell Fire.

I wonder which is older , humanity or Christianity ; this one na pure hypocrite. Go and know history child

mtcheewww! nonsense!

bigjackass:
This idea of what favor who... mostly irresponsible people think this way. Marriage is good as long you marry the right person. Even the whites we want to copy, most of them don't stay single. Instead they jump from one marriage to the other and divorce up and down because they enjoy being married but they haven't found the right person.

They want to eat their cake and still have it.

His life

Since marriage is a legal contract why don’t you do it like a contractor and a client percentage ratio.

You see contractors given 25% mobilization fee then when they see how the work goes they add more 25% then certainly the contractor wants to get rest of the money then he push the work further then he gets another 25% etc till it’s balanced then both client and contractor are satisfied without problems. Mostly it’s even the contractor begging the client to pay up that he needs his money that he has invested some funds in the project to keep it afloat .

Now let’s substitute the woman as the contractor and the man as client. As a man you’re trying to get the best value of quality and decent cost valuation from numerous women expecting you to choos them.

Rather than go the conventional way of fall in love and propose straight without letting her having something to lose and she’s having entitled mentality cause she’s seeing herself as she’s doing you a favor regardless of your responsible for her bills and house bills.

So you switch it up by reversing roles. If she’s good character get her pregnant first, do not do any introduction or marriage ! Let her be at your mercy as this time her stock is plummeting worrying about single motherhood. Bring her home or rent an apartment which ever works for you live like couples to make her save face , keep telling her you will meet her parents in due time . (By this time she will be doing all to show to you she’s a worthy wife material as she don’t want to go out again) you enjoy the cooking sex etc she’s commenting into the relationship in hope for a finally meeting with her parent for official marriage . Put in another child on the basis of you will meet her parent after the second child (by this time she’s too scared to leave and worrying who will marry a single mother of 2,she will be hoping you do the needful by putting effort ) after 10 years , meet with her family for introduction! Just introduction not marriage . Then pause again don’t move to next stage . Now this is like an official marriage Dangling in front of her then she wants the marriage after 5years of introduction introduce a prenup to her to sign . This makes her feel you’re finally ready . Then 5 years later do the official marriage that’s a journey of 20years. She has learnt and committed a lot to leave by this time and even if she walks out you got the best value of her early days already so even if she want divorce then the children are already 20 and blackmailing their mom emotional that’s it’s not the best time to divorce she should think about them. If she opt out still prenup cover you! Any which way you’ve had fun. Don’t forget to do the DNA!

The point of all this women treat and disrespect marriage when they do far too little to build it or contribute less to it! They evade easily! Make them also commit in a way and swear themselves out to build it that way it last! Don’t just give them marriage on a platter! I’ve learnt with my recent ordeal !

confirm!

emmanuelbrown26:

Not surprised that it's coming from a woman.
Back to the topic, op I would advice u to make a friend with that your neighbour. He is enjoying this life to the fullest, compare him with any other man or men around u with wives, u will see that the difference is clear.
just ask him how he did it and how he's being managing the whole stuff. Personally this is the best way to have peace of mind.
forget about any preaching from women, marriage only favours them.

No marriage, no in-laws, and no divorce settlement/alimony.

Not a perfect arrangement but not a bad one too.

Acidosis:
Funding a baby mama and her kids is a more expensive lifestyle. It is a s*lly idea for someone that wants to spend "little" and get his kids to love or acknowledge his effort in the future.

Except they want to be deadbeats which is very cheap . After all no law in Nigeria will tax them on child support .

Mindlog:


Will you and your family be comfortable with your sister having children for a man she is not married to?

You have an option of paying surrogates to get pregnant for you, after delivery you get your babies from them and hire nannies to be their caregivers, at least no woman would rip you off all in the name of marriage while you still have your children.

How those this really work, for example if u don't want the child born in Nigeria, like for him/her to have different nationality?

Chuky7:

A neighbor of mine not married stayed single has children out of wedlock I once asked him why he said his family believe that as far as you can take care of them no problem. he believes in going the unconventional way as marriage no too dey favor man. you pay bride price all bills are on you. you take care of your new family. but as a non married man his only concern are the kids and the baby mama.

What do you think of this lifestyle. I dey reason am.

It's not a death sentence for a child born out of wedlock nothing really changes just traditions you are conditioned to for no reason.

If you are a true christian, you will never take that route.

Even asides Christianity, why do that? You think the guys who do it are truly happy?

Eweeeyyyy!

I see this topic as a way of dragging women and calling them all sorts of names

It all looks attractive until they are dragging you like Tiger generator to pay up for your responsibilities. Different women with different demands for their children. Ask Tuface Idibia about his experience.

It’s not every rubbish you follow or do. Can your mind carry handling different women who have kids for you? You don’t even know if the woman comes from a family or armed robbers, rapists or killers. Then in future they are arresting you everywhere, to come and pay for what your child has done. Or one child is constantly robbing you and trying to sell the house you intend to retire in .

Ask for serious advice from the ones that went through it before you first. Most are dead from hypertension and depression.

Nothing gets better than this

I wasted my time going viewing this shit thread that sucks

SMH...Don't prepare yourself for an ungodly lifestyle based on the rudiments of this world and the philosophy of men.

I knew when this type of lifestyle started gaining prominence, especially in Nigeria. It is a rubbish African-American lifestyle being imported by our celebrities from the West...whom I will call apostles of Satan...it breaks down the value system of marriage.

God who gave us the marriage institution is not stupid; it is actually a safe haven to raise future generations. You need to read some of these baby mama and baby daddyism in America, I mean memoirs. They don't have it cool like you portray that lifestyle. Na regret...Both from the child's experience and parents.

If we lose the traditional setup of marriage in Nigeria, then we are in serious trouble.

I believe why marriage is no longer attractive, apart from the bad economy angle, are the people therein...not the institution itself.

People whine about marriage rather than whining about their own self...by improving and moulding themselves to be a better version.

For any marriage to succeed, it must imitate and implement the Book of Philippians.

I believe in marriage so much, and I want to marry. I want to be the shepherd of my family and lead them to good pastures.

After all, if Noah didn't marry, we won't be here or given a second chance.

May the peace of God be upon marriages and those who advocate men to keep it honorable and follow the true path of the Ancient One. Ameen.

Chuky7:

A neighbor of mine not married stayed single has children out of wedlock I once asked him why he said his family believe that as far as you can take care of them no problem. he believes in going the unconventional way as marriage no too dey favor man. you pay bride price all bills are on you. you take care of your new family. but as a non married man his only concern are the kids and the baby mama.

What do you think of this lifestyle. I dey reason am.

It's not a death sentence for a child born out of wedlock nothing really changes just traditions you are conditioned to for no reason.

AfroKnight:
No marriage, no in-laws, and no divorce settlement/alimony.

Not a perfect arrangement but not a bad one too.

Alimony? , which country are you talking from ?

InTheCloudySky:
I blame the woman who is sleeping with him and giving him kids without marriage. Stupid is as stupid does.

Thought you Ladies now detest men.
So why get annoyed when such is launched.
After all, it favours you too.
It makes it easier for both parties to stay away and retain their freedom.

FAMILY still remains the Best if managed well.
But with the new crop of Ladies we have now, MEN ought to start thinking too.
Its better MARRIAGES are signed like FOOTBALL contracts.
You Ladies need Freedom.
You have always clamoured for it.
Here it is now!

FlipModeSquade:
Traditional marriage institutions mostly favor women..

While the man is worked to death..

At the end the children only remembers their Mum as a Superwoman..

The man that put his body and health on the line..

To put food on their table..

Becomes an afterthought..

While the woman junkets from Miami to London to Paris..

In the name of Ọmụgwọ..

The old broken man sits at home counting his days..

With an occasional bottle of Gin and yards of clothes..

From his grateful children and in laws..

Tell me..

Why shouldn't a sensible being.

Have a rethink about an institution that takes so much from him..

And gives back so little?

Change is CONSTANT..

Wow your mom must have been a very lazy woman

Chuky7:

A neighbor of mine not married stayed single has children out of wedlock I once asked him why he said his family believe that as far as you can take care of them no problem. he believes in going the unconventional way as marriage no too dey favor man. you pay bride price all bills are on you. you take care of your new family. but as a non married man his only concern are the kids and the baby mama.

What do you think of this lifestyle. I dey reason am.

It's not a death sentence for a child born out of wedlock nothing really changes just traditions you are conditioned to for no reason.

He's a wise man

Vision101:
All these single parenting, the man or woman involved don't think of the impact on the children. When a child is raised by a single parent that child misses some love and impact.

Last Monday the youths in my church had their regular weekly service. As they rounded off I came out of the office to see their leader. I noticed that a young girl in early twenties sat on the chair close to the door. She sat alone and faced the wall.

After seeing their leader I went to her and I noticed that she was crying even though she tried to cover up. I took her to the office and after a lot of efforts she opened up and told me that she was missing her father.

She said that she works in the hospital and that she sees families come to the hospital and she will be asking herself when will her own complete family walk in like this.

Long story short, the mother got married to the father and had four of them. She is number two. Grand mother spiritual issues made the father to abandon them. The father is still alive but they have never sighted him for years. Even the last one doesn't know him.

She said that the mother cries sometimes but she doesn't want them to see her. She said that her greatest wish is to see her father around her as she watches others with their father.

Her mother is not a member of my church. My church is large. Obviously I don't know her. She said that she started attending the church two months ago.

You will agree with me that I have a big work on my hands.

What if you’ve another compliant from a girl-child whose father is maltreating will you alter this kinda word? so many girls wish their fathers wasn’t presence in their lives.
No doubts Nothing supersedes a complete family if you get the right one but life has ups and downs even the complete families have their own issues .
Mine own personal take For the OP do what makes you happy ,if it bounces Back you’ll be able to chew it because it’s your own personal decision but it’s more painful when you make choices based on people’s opinions and fail.
I think it’s high time we stop putting societal pressure of marriage on people.

That’s why our ladies are becoming lazy because they believe once you’re married all responsibility falls on the man and it also makes them marry the wrong people.

I admire the Yorubas and Hausas they don’t lay much emphasis on marriage they just hit the road

Vision101:
All these single parenting, the man or woman involved don't think of the impact on the children. When a child is raised by a single parent that child misses some love and impact.

Last Monday the youths in my church had their regular weekly service. As they rounded off I came out of the office to see their leader. I noticed that a young girl in early twenties sat on the chair close to the door. She sat alone and faced the wall.

After seeing their leader I went to her and I noticed that she was crying even though she tried to cover up. I took her to the office and after a lot of efforts she opened up and told me that she was missing her father.

She said that she works in the hospital and that she sees families come to the hospital and she will be asking herself when will her own complete family walk in like this.

Long story short, the mother got married to the father and had four of them. She is number two. Grand mother spiritual issues made the father to abandon them. The father is still alive but they have never sighted him for years. Even the last one doesn't know him.

She said that the mother cries sometimes but she doesn't want them to see her. She said that her greatest wish is to see her father around her as she watches others with their father.

Her mother is not a member of my church. My church is large. Obviously I don't know her. She said that she started attending the church two months ago.

You will agree with me that I have a big work on my hands.

Vision101:
All these single parenting, the man or woman involved don't think of the impact on the children. When a child is raised by a single parent that child misses some love and impact.

Last Monday the youths in my church had their regular weekly service. As they rounded off I came out of the office to see their leader. I noticed that a young girl in early twenties sat on the chair close to the door. She sat alone and faced the wall.

After seeing their leader I went to her and I noticed that she was crying even though she tried to cover up. I took her to the office and after a lot of efforts she opened up and told me that she was missing her father.

She said that she works in the hospital and that she sees families come to the hospital and she will be asking herself when will her own complete family walk in like this.

Long story short, the mother got married to the father and had four of them. She is number two. Grand mother spiritual issues made the father to abandon them. The father is still alive but they have never sighted him for years. Even the last one doesn't know him.

She said that the mother cries sometimes but she doesn't want them to see her. She said that her greatest wish is to see her father around her as she watches others with their father.

Her mother is not a member of my church. My church is large. Obviously I don't know her. She said that she started attending the church two months ago.

You will agree with me that I have a big work on my hands.

Yeah bro, you have a big duty on your hands to help her find her father, start by asking her and her mother questions and take it up from there. Heaven will reward you greatly.