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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? (17481 Views)
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Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by Fhemmmy: 9:07pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
logica: You mean your dick is what defines who you are . . . . then, you are just as same as a monkey with a dick then. |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by paraphase(m): 9:15pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
:-x |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by LadyT(f): 9:16pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
Wonderful advice from Nekai |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by monkeyleg: 9:17pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
@Paraphase, Simple question for you. Your wife is phucking Silas outside, would you rather hear it from the boys in the beer parlour or from you so called darling wife, or maybe your nosey neighbour who sees them sneaking in when you go off to toil at work. A: Beer parlour B: Wife C: Clara the neighbour who would never mind her business |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by Fhemmmy: 9:19pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
monkeyleg: Wont wanna hear it anywhere and forever, cos i know i wont be able to handle it at all |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by tellwisdom: 9:20pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
and see where you are directing the issue.who is talking about fhucking his brothers wife. She said she doesnt want to lose her husband and she is not ready for a divorce(cant you get it dumbest a.s.s?).she is ready to make her marriage work again. Telling her husband brings the possibility of the marriage success to 0%. I dont even know if you are a man or woman,I bet you cant tell your gay partner you cheated on him Dont make me believe this guy Monkeyleg is a gay Clear my doubt abeg
I hope you wont do this to me when im married to you? |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by Fhemmmy: 9:22pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
tellwisdom: Lollllllllllllllll |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by logica(m): 9:23pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
Fhemmmy:No, my "manliness" does not define me, but it definitely makes me different from you. It appears you are not so good at reading or smart either. I will disregard the other comment, but I'm sure you realize it applies to you as well. Just replace "manliness" with a "vagina". |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by samm(m): 9:28pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
All these talks about shame. I believe she should tell the truth. Since none of us are really holier than the next, then we should all understand. Deal with the shame and time will heal. TELL THE TRUTH. There is always a reaction for every action taken so deal with your husband's decision. I hate the way people focus on this shame. We all have our skeletons in our closets but we continue to hide them because we want to appear holier than the next person. TELL HIM EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED, WHY YOU THINK IT HAPPENED, WHERE EXACTLY YOU ARE AT THIS POINT OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT YOU WILL LIKE TO SEE HAPPEN AND LET THINGS TAKE THEIR COURSE. Of course, he will run through various emotions including anger etc, allow him. It's his right. And believe it or not, you may not have quite dealt with the fact that he cheated because you are carrying a heavier weight that is clouding your thoughts. And you continue to have the affair because you are still unsettled with what to do about your predicament. You will continue to find an escape with the affair till you rightly deal with the main issue. Set fear aside and dialogue with him! And please, don't bother getting your pastor or priest or overseer or daddy or whatever it is you call the man in your pulpit involved. It's better you get your mum involved or close friend involved. You may seek counselling at church once you two have dialogued and you have discussed with your family and loved ones. |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by JimmyBoy1: 9:28pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
Turf one,but you really need to answer the question what went wrong between you and your husband before any meaningful solution can be profered. You also claimed not to love the other guy, but that sex with him is great, does this mean your husband does not satisfy you? Anyway, you have to stop seeing this other guy immediately and ask God for forgiveness. But don't say anything to your husband yet, instead go to your creator and pray for wisdom and guidance , then start studying the word of God and spirit filled. Keneth Hagin and Bishop David Oyedepo will do a lot of good.But don't take any rash decision yet. I understand that guilt is eating deep into you like a cancer,that is why you need the word of God for internal healing. You are so valuable to Jesus regardless of what you have done Rom5:8, but there must be genuine repentance, otherwise the consequence may be catastrophic. |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by monkeyleg: 9:29pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
@LadyT, I am convinced the poster already knows which way she wants to go, probably only came on here to get some sort of support for her decision. I think it is only fair that all possible outcomes are presented to her. I wonder what the advise would be when her husband find out from another source, because these things sure do have a way of coming out. Just last week we all read about Ryan Giggs having an affair with his brothers wife for 8yrs and guess what the borther found out through the press, not from the wife, but the british media. i wonder how that one will be sorted out |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by paraphase(m): 9:29pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
\ |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by LadyT(f): 9:30pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
ROTFLMAOOOOOOOO@Tellwisdom be honest would you really want to know? Monkeyleg you are using your one experience to define life! Life is not black and white theres a grey area! Like someone said for better and for worse Im quite sure if the OP escapes this drama she wont try it again. Many men are not built to tell the truth or hear the truth. It is us weak women who can forgive our husbands for his multiple affairs and still continue to bear him children and stay in his house. Many women are built to be strong/stupid like that call it what you will |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by paraphase(m): 9:34pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
x |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by tellwisdom: 9:39pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
na wa oh wonders shall never end. So u bleep outside marriage, for the slightest marriage , God go help we men oh u c wetin young babes go dey reason, its a normal thing we can do it and conceal it,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,but one day monkey go go market e no go come back, MUMU PIKIN, This wan wey u dey speak here na Chinese english?? |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by tellwisdom: 9:47pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
I am convinced the poster already knows which way she wants to go, probably only came on here to get some sort of support for her decision. I think it is only fair that all possible outcomes are presented to her. You better post your contact details, cos if this lady eventually tells her man and the man kill am, i dey come your house straight with the woman family. ROTFLMAOOOOOOOO@Tellwisdom be honest would you really want to know? Yes, cos i would be getting married to you in couple of months, Clear my doubt nw, Cos Oma LEKU btwn us! Yes He is Gay.Hes also been chasing my tiny A.S.S for years Ahh, u dont mean it??, oboy even your tiny backside wey u dey try manage with your wife, he still wan share am with your woman #Badt guy |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by mallorca(m): 9:52pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
Fhemmmy:exam Question |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by logica(m): 9:54pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
Paraphrasing someone who doesn't know that having something that makes me different from you DOES NOT define me is a waste of time. I bet you need lessons in logical reasoning. |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by paraphase(m): 9:55pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by paraphase(m): 10:02pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
x |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by tellwisdom: 10:03pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
Monkeyleg wants to injure my tiny hole . I am still single o brother mii.Single and Ready to mingle. Na so OMOBA! |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by dayokanu(m): 10:19pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
Dont confess nada |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by Oluschenco(m): 10:39pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
Tighten things uq, try to practise d new sex-styles wt ya hubby & c him as a refined peson. I no blame d bros wey dey chop anoda man's food. |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by steve49ja(m): 10:49pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
When did your husband have the affair? If it was after you then you killed it the minute you stepped out and if it was before you? he couldn't hold it any more so basically your moving when he touches you sowed a fruit each time and they grew. You have to tell him about the affair at least to ease the guilt that is currently killing him when he looks at you for something he did which he might as well have been led to by your subconscious response to his contacts (touch). I hate to say but that union is corrupt and is closer to the end than it is to being healthy but it can be healthy again, the boat can be turned around only it would take a lot of work including su ru (patience) and you have to be able to bring yourself to enjoy his touch again. straight to the point Women have sex to get married, men get married to have sex. Women feel loved from men listening to them, buying them flowers and spending time with them, Men feel loved when you make love to them (that's the only flower you can give to him and he'll truly smile). I wish you the best. After the talk, you should go for counseling together, everything would be fine even if you eventually split. Whatever personal problem you have with not liking your man's touch should be looked into before you're next commitment. No one goes into marriage just to divorce, i understand but $hit, mess happens. Wish you the best. |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by lastpage: 11:11pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
Truth is bitter o! If your husband touches you and you CRINGE at his touch, then wahala dey! Not minding the "cross-cheating" going on between the two of you, the bottom line is this: BOTH OF YOU DONT HAVE A MARRIAGE ANYMORE! The two basic ingredients of marriage is lost in that marriage: Trust and Mutual Respect Come together and resolve how to take care of that kid in-between both of you. You can have shared custody (50-50), kids spend about half his time in the company of both parents at different times and each contribute 50-50 to his upbringing. Dont continue to delude yourself you are still married to him! LOVE, RESPECT AND TRUST DOES NOT EXIST (AND WONT COME BACK) IN THAT UNION ANYMORE! Now, abuse me if you wish but if this story is true, you will remember this "true talk" in the future! No apologies. |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by emmatok(m): 11:19pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
lastpage: That woman is not serious, she is still sleeping with the guy(BF) and she is not planing to stop. Yet she want us to advice her on weather to tell her hubby or not. My little advice, stop sleeping with that guy if you want to keep your marriage. First thing first. |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by sleekman(m): 11:21pm On Jun 09, 2011 |
@poster I put it to u that ure a bloody liar. How is it possible ur body cringed when ur husband touched u if u weren't already 'totoring' out of wedlock. Infact for coming to this court of public opinion to lie I hereby pass a decree dat ur husband will find out ur atrocities before d end of d month. Ure a disgrace to women & a great source of shame to ur parents. Please carry on wot u do u flat thinking slowpoke. By d way have u tot about ur son or perhaps u cringe 4 ur lovers touch. U wanna be a LovePeddler too dat ur husband is currently wiring. Divorced & unable to tie anyone new. If u don't know U'll become bush meat for men. Pls carry on, harder, pls don't stop, MUMU. Did u ever think dat people don't think? U got ice cream loved it for a while then tot Oh, I've taking too much of this & I don't like it anymore. A smarter woman would have tot O let me garnish my ice cream so dat it tastes a little different anytime I want it instead d mumuism in u felt no let me go have somother ice cream. How exactly are u going to raise a kid when ure not so smart, em sorry when ure all too mumuish? Ur husbands moral compass is bad urs is beyond repair. Sorry for d poor boy dat will turnout to be worse than his dad because im mama 'thing' take over im brain. I'm very sure ure one of those dat will go to church to scatter tongue after ur escapade. Only God know if U neva carry HIV yet. Imagine ur husband HIV, then u too so who u come leave ur pickin 4? Monkey |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by paraphase(m): 12:19am On Jun 10, 2011 |
x |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by toyemz(f): 12:48am On Jun 10, 2011 |
@sleekman sir you are rambling The Bible says he who is sinless,let him cast the first stone and gradually the crowd faded away Unfortunately sir,this is the times of our age,that where marriages should be held sacred,infidelity and what have you tend to sneak in can you imagine if everyone who committed a blunder in marriage were put to death,how much of the world populace would be left,especially within the male gender? so don't cast stones sir,don't judge her and don't cast her If it is the will of God that her marriage will stand there is nothing you can do about it work with her on how to put things right don't castigate her and don't crucify her thank you |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by Ivynwa(f): 2:10am On Jun 10, 2011 |
I don't understand the hullabaloo about "telling your husband about it". If it's heaving on you, you can confess it to God and put the mistake of the past behind you. Your marriage has a lot weighing down on it already for you to add more weight with the confession of your own cheating to your husband.. Revealing your cheating to your husband can either bring you two closer as in "you went to breaking point and still returned to each other's arm" [/b]and it [b]can also mar the marriage (because it isn't all men that can bear the knowledge that another person has slept with their wives, it can disgust a man to a point of never wanting the woman again. I mean such can disgust some women to that point much more a man). In my opinion the probability of confessing to him causing the latter (end of your marriage) to happen is greater. There is no need crying over spilt milk, what matters to you now is to rescue your marriage that is tearing to shreds. What you need is good advice on how to rekindle the flame of your waning marriage. You mentioned that your miscarriage may have led to you losing interest in your husband, you can seek counselling on that or better still get into a serious prayer life with your husband. Free your mind from the remnants of the effects of the unpretty feelings you had during the miscarriage and fill your heart with positive/healthy words (from the bible perhaps). Check whether there are other stuffs that added to your husband not appealing to you anymore and efface that out. If the s.ex isn't good find a way to indirectly guide him towards making it good for you, be more open in telling him how you like it (Hey! without letting him know that you've had amazing ones recently, me I no go fit wipe your tears if your husband chase you comot ). Resources abound in the internet on how to put the sparks back into your love life and the list is endless. I recommend the website of the Cosmopolitan magazine www.cosmopolitan.com Now that you have repented from that, put it behind you and work towards renewing the love that you had. It is good that you had the will in you to want to break away from the man that gives amazing s.ex, a person with no self-will have stayed glued to it without caring whether her marriage breaks or not. |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by Theblessed(f): 2:42am On Jun 10, 2011 |
[b][size=16pt] To answer your question, 'Yes'. Why?? Some would ask? Well, to start with, pot won't call kettle black now, would it? And, there won't be anymore animousity in the home - people feeling cheated, hurt, humiliated and the scores are correct and equal at the time of going to the press, abi? That's what we call happy family. Every family in this country whose leader is straying I suggest, should try it maybe, they would find the peace and hapiness they've been looking for. You see, when a man goes about humiliating his wife this way, it would be nice at some point to rub it, in his nose and down the throat, in fact, ladies if you can bring your sweet hearts home so he could see, how well you too can 'pull'. You see, you can not change an adult but, you can change your own behaviour that way, you could change theirs. If you condone bad behaviours in your marriage, wait for it! However, if you don't and stand your grounds, then you're bound to receive the respect you deseve. Try it - it works, trust me !!! And, what if hers breaks up the marriage completely? Good!!! It wasn't much of a marriage in the first place, was it? A marriage based on lies, deciet, stress, High Blood Pressure and sleepless nights - is that what you call marriage?? Get a life!!! Change your own behaviour to be able to change others, it works![/size][/b] |
Re: Married, Having An Affair, Hubby Also Having An Affair: What To Do? by okunoba(m): 3:14am On Jun 10, 2011 |
You should confess to him only if you believe in equality of sexes and you know for sure you will not be losing everything, if he decides to leave you for being honest. If he loves you and cares, you should be able to tell him under the pretext of your Miscarriage. Its common for women to suffer a roller coaster of emotions after just having a miscarriage, the hormonal changes that occur can lead to uncharacteristic behavior. Men also can be effected by this event. This could be the reason why you suddenly lost interest in your partner and why he went astray. You both are obviously affected by this tragic loss. There is alot of research publications on the emotional effects on partners who have suffered from miscarriages but alot more work still needs to be done. Look on the net for more information. Tackling the issue from a medical point of view is the best way to come clean, you can both go for counseling to deal with the loss of your child and then try working things out in your marriage. You have no reason to feel guilty, you have a good medical reason why you did what you did. |
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