So I eventually used that 500k and got married to my I wife, instead of another land but immediately she took in after given birth she change ,I mean the woman that once told me not to buy sofa or couch but plastic chairs for now ,but get a land and build,I was like thank God the woman I married is a good woman oo, hahahaha.
Fast forward to how I kept on explaining to her that for now let's managed and move to our own house before the next rent, my wife was like wait a min dude,u mean u will be building your house and u are telling me a fashion designer and a boss in my job which I relocated from East to west due to marriage,to seat here for 2 yrs doing nothing or serving u and taking care of the house and baby before u could save a gain and established my business. I don't think so,,OK I said for now motivate your self ,with your sawing machine and let's look for another skills u can combined with the one u have before ,,after gaining that knowledge, what next again, she still insist rebeling on me that she can't be patience for 2 yrs oo, bla bla bla ,...........if that's the case as we are managing so we can move to our own house as soon as possible then y didn't u buy built before coming to marry me ,I was like were u not the one that said we can hustle together or mange, bla bla bla hahahhahahahha

MY POINT IS THAT

Pls my advice to those aspiring to get married is that ,be the man of your house, wedda u built before marry or u married before building ,or your woman has a skill or learn a trade or has nothing doing,marry her first o,pregnant her sharply immediately because if u find a job for her or train her in sch or paid for her to learn a skill or trade and she disappointed u or meet jamb another person better than u,bro that's were u will know that even money can buy standard woman want they start getting confuse. ,woman na woman oo, they must give u one problems or another,but as a man pls be very carefully of the type of pressure u put in your woman oo, through, if your pressure or heat is too much ,it's bulged a woman only very few,can never bulge. For example give a woman 1m tomorrow she will still tell u that ,what is 1m,the money that is not even enough,is papa emeka not given mama emeka 5m.so oga don't do pass your self ,the hand u start with a woman ,is also the hand that will cost u problems with the hand change or is now managing,mind how u start up or how u carry your woman. They only get satisfy after a while .in sex u can't always pls a woman like wise money .but few woman that has pass through good mother's will always endured and be Patience ,not like our girls of now adays who are desperate and ambitious than we the men,a real man don't always pls a woman no matter the heavens that falls,they wise to marry or congratulates their friends, but a lot don't have the patience marriage needs .

I always laugh when I came to understand that marriage needs serious endurance .

Hmm... Same goes for the men. It goes both ways.
All these pretence just to get you in after which everyone will begin to show their true colors.

This is why I'm sceptical about this marriage of a thing. I have my personal problems bothering me. Somebody coming to compound it for me with their own excesses is what I don't want.

Make una dey marry. Abeg!

Marriage is a death warrant for men

Do not go into marriage due to peer or family pressure. Ensure you are physically and mentally ready for good or bad before you get married.
@ Op, may God help you through your new phase of life.

If I get it clearly, this woman doesn't want to stay idle for two years while you build a house right?


If that's not a hustler, I don't know what is. She wants to also be busy. As a man, you need a woman who will be tired by the end of the day through work not an energy filled one. Else, na die

Mercychen:
Hmm... Same goes for the men. It goes both ways.
All these pretence just to get you in after which everyone will begin to show their true colors.

This is why I'm sceptical about this marriage of a thing. I have my personal problems bothering me. Somebody coming to compound it for me with their own excesses is what I don't want.

Make una dey marry. Abeg!

Very insecure and people who see don't want any form o criticism. Not surprised is a Woman that will jump first to comment.

Madam what are you commenting for, to defend Women I suggest.

It goes both ways, always such a sucker Women. What goes both ways abeg, learn to listen and keep your opinion to yourself until thoroughly thought about, not just to open mouth and defend yourself blindly. It goes both ways is your first comment always defensive.

I blame you more than the woman, why backout of your initial agreement.
She said " hustle together " now you are keeping her Idle at home because you want to build a house.
You want her to motivate herself with sewing machine.
Did she acquire the skill as a hobby or she learnt fashion design to make a living.
Oga no carry your own spoil her own.
If I may advice pause any house project and set up a business for her. When the both of you are financially stable you can think of building a house.
You should also work on yourself, I can see their is more to this your online ranting because you are already tired of the marriage.

When my uncle married his wife,;the first thing He did was set up a business for Her. The few months I stayed with them, my uncle's wife hardly asks money for food stuff or some minor Bill's, He focuses on the big one while his wife handles the lesser Bill's.

A very stressful read

.

This is Very stressful to read.

michlins:
If I get it clearly, this woman doesn't want to stay idle for two years while you build a house right?


If that's not a hustler, I don't know what is. She wants to also be busy. As a man, you need a woman who will be tired by the end of the day through work not an energy filled one. Else, na die

OP hinted that she has a sewing machine and she is a fashion designer...
If she truly was a Hustler she should have made plans to maximize the use of that sewing machine... Maybe look for a place that she can merge with or keep her machine outside her house ((depending on the location)) and let people know she sews...

Or she can go out there and get her hands dirty by looking for something to do...

Women have to stop this stupid mentality that it is my husband's responsibility to set me up, that's trash and archaic, can't they set them self up before getting married?? I'm not against men setting their wives up or something, buh while the man is doing his best, she too should do hers!!

Only the man will provide money for food, money for house rent, money for clothes, money for child upkeep, money for this....money for that... And the lady will sit at home nagging and screaming that the husband is not doing enough, when she is clearly not doing anything (money wise) to help the home...

And besides, why her change of attitude?? Did she not agree to be patient until OP builds their house?? What kind of indecisiveness is that one?? Can't she follow through with the decision she has made??

Let's marry, I can manage. This phrase has killed many guys and it will still kill more stupid niggars. Hustle hard before marrying her and always make sure that she is doing something (working) before you die before your time. Don't give her chicken today and expect her to eat fish tomorrow ooooo. E get why.

Mercychen:
Hmm... Same goes for the men. It goes both ways.
All these pretence just to get you in after which everyone will begin to show their true colors.

This is why I'm sceptical about this marriage of a thing. I have my personal problems bothering me. Somebody coming to compound it for me with their own excesses is what I don't want.

Make una dey marry. Abeg!

who wan propose to you in the first place

Oga, that’s women for you.

The ones that would say “let’s build together” are saying that because they have given you an ultimatum in their heads on when you must blow. If you don’t blow by then, you are going to see her other side.

Life for men is very different. You must succeed. You can’t afford not to.

Favfables1:


OP hinted that she has a sewing machine and she is a fashion designer...
If she truly was a Hustler she should have made plans to maximize the use of that sewing machine... Maybe look for a place that she can merge with or keep her machine outside her house ((depending on the location)) and let people know she sews...

Or she can go out there and get her hands dirty by looking for something to do...

Women have to stop this stupid mentality that it is my husband's responsibility to set me up, that's trash and archaic, can't they set them self up before getting married?? I'm not against men setting their wives up or something, buh while the man is doing his best, she too should do hers!!

Only the man will provide money for food, money for house rent, money for clothes, money for child upkeep, money for this....money for that... And the lady will sit at home nagging and screaming that the husband is not doing enough, when she is clearly not doing anything (money wise) to help the home...

And besides, why her change of attitude?? Did she not agree to be patient until OP builds their house?? What kind of indecisiveness is that one?? Can't she follow through with the decision she has made??

people especially men have been making this same mistake over and over again. They expect their wives to be up and doing in marriage. Meanwhile they're yet to discuss finances during courtship. They leave it to discuss about sex and whatnot.

If you want your wife to set herself up during marriage, kindly make it clear before marriage and watch how she responds to bringing something to the table.

Una well-done

That was how Ronke was pestering me for marriage in school. She wanted us to get married before going for service, with the promise that she wouldn't make things too hard for me. I knew she was sincere but I couldn't take the risk,,,, not in this Buhari regime . Luckily, she found a ready made man & married him. I just hope she's happy.

I still miss her though.

All I want now is becoming another's ready made.

Kingpin1000:
I blame you more than the woman, why backout of your initial agreement.
She said " hustle together " now you are keeping her Idle at home because you want to build a house.
You want her to motivate herself with sewing machine.
Did she acquire the skill as a hobby or she learnt fashion design to make a living.
Oga no carry your own spoil her own.
If I may advice pause any house project and set up a business for her. When the both of you are financially stable you can think of building a house.
You should also work on yourself, I can see their is more to this your online ranting because you are already tired of the marriage.

When my uncle married his wife,;the first thing He did was set up a business for Her. The few months I stayed with them, my uncle's wife hardly asks money for food stuff or some minor Bill's, He focuses on the big one while his wife handles the lesser Bill's.

Bro...
To me eh ..
"Hustle together" means you hustle and I hustle and we use the product of OUR hustle to better OUR lives... That's how I see it...

The man is hustling and the woman is not, so she is the one who is backing out of their initial agreement not the OP...

And I don't think OP wants his wife to be idle, if not he would not have proposed that she learnt a trade...

And there is nothing like the bolded, the house he is building is not "his" own, it's theirs, so he is not "using his own to spoil her own"...

And as for your uncle, that may have been the agreement he made with his wife, buh I don't think that's the case here...

And you're boldly saying/typing that "he is already tired of the Marriage", what in OP's write up made you suggest this?? And even if OP is tired, won't any man be?? After a stressful day at work you come back home to a nagging wife, that shit is tiring man...


Back to OP...
Please eh...
That money you want to pay for her to learn a trade, add something there and get a shop for her to start putting her skills as a fashion designer to work...

And please...
Don't allow this matter make you resent your wife, you saw something in her before you got married, don't lose sight of that thing...

AfroKnight:


Oga, that’s women for you.

The ones that would say “let’s build together” are saying that because they have given you an ultimatum in their heads on when you must blow. If you don’t blow by then, you are going to see her other side.

Life for men is very different. You must succeed. You can’t afford not to .

No truer words have ever been spoken @ the bolded

michlins:
people especially men have been making this same mistake over and over again. They expect their wives to be up and doing in marriage. Meanwhile they're yet to discuss finances during courtship. They leave it to discuss about sex and whatnot.

If you want your wife to set herself up during marriage, kindly make it clear before marriage and watch how she responds to bringing something to the table.

Una well-done

Please sir, how is that a mistake?? The same way women expect their husbands to set them up when they marry is the same way men expect their wives to be "up and doing"... So if the man's expectation is a mistake, shouldn't the wife expectation also be a mistake??

If the man has to make it clear that the woman has to set herself up, that means the woman too should make it clear that she will not be "up and doing" in the marriage ...

Let's stop all this thing of putting the entire financial responsibility on the man... For God's sake, women are humans too!! They have hands and legs, let them go out there and work and earn the repect that they truly deserve!!

You Sha made a brilliant point...
If they had discussed finances before marriage, all this things would have been addressed...

Well done sir...

Sometimes i wonder whats the essence of sending women to school if they will end up as liabilities in their husband's house

Favfables1:


OP hinted that she has a sewing machine and she is a fashion designer...
If she truly was a Hustler she should have made plans to maximize the use of that sewing machine... Maybe look for a place that she can merge with or keep her machine outside her house ((depending on the location)) and let people know she sews...

Or she can go out there and get her hands dirty by looking for something to do...

Women have to stop this stupid mentality that it is my husband's responsibility to set me up, that's trash and archaic, can't they set them self up before getting married?? I'm not against men setting their wives up or something, buh while the man is doing his best, she too should do hers!!

Only the man will provide money for food, money for house rent, money for clothes, money for child upkeep, money for this....money for that... And the lady will sit at home nagging and screaming that the husband is not doing enough, when she is clearly not doing anything (money wise) to help the home...

And besides, why her change of attitude?? Did she not agree to be patient until OP builds their house?? What kind of indecisiveness is that one?? Can't she follow through with the decision she has made??

Thank u so much u said it all,why do woman feels like its the responsibility of a husband to always make them happy.

It's funny how you used your wife to generalize all women. Are you like all men?

It is a nawa something

ImaIma1:
It's funny how you used your wife to generalize all women. Are you like all men?

Men are attracted to gold diggers

ImoleNaija:
That was how Ronke was pestering me for marriage in school. She wanted us to get married before going for service, with the promise that she wouldn't make things too hard for me. I knew she was sincere but I couldn't take the risk,,,, not in this Buhari regime . Luckily, she found a ready made man & married him. I just hope she's happy.

I still miss her though.

All I want now is becoming another's ready made.

Consolation post,
I'm so sorry for your loss,
Body go tell u in the next 5years, mark this comment

I do hope mascot345 is reading this thread.

Mercychen:
Hmm... Same goes for the men. It goes both ways.
All these pretence just to get you in after which everyone will begin to show their true colors.

This is why I'm sceptical about this marriage of a thing. I have my personal problems bothering me. Somebody coming to compound it for me with their own excesses is what I don't want.

Make una dey marry. Abeg!

Dem dey talk one thing, this one dey go off point.

Please Seun, you really need to be screening the type of ladies you allow to register on this forum

PapaNnamdi:


Consolation post,
I'm so sorry for your loss,
Body go tell u in the next 5years, mark this comment

I no understand

I'm a bit old fashioned. I love to empower my woman whilst still paying almost all the bills. I enjoy handling such responsibilities. If you leave paying of bills to a woman, be prepared for disrespect.

I also believe that a sensible woman who is earning and contributes only little to the upkeep of the house should be saving aggressively and not wasting money on expensive phones, hair and clothes.

If the chips ever gets down, the woman's savings should bail out the family. But by God's grace, we wouldn't even depend on that, we also save and invest for the raining day. One can't totally rely on another, especially a woman.

michlins:
If I get it clearly, this woman doesn't want to stay idle for two years while you build a house right?


If that's not a hustler, I don't know what is. She wants to also be busy. As a man, you need a woman who will be tired by the end of the day through work not an energy filled one. Else, na die

what is wrong with woman sharing her husband's dream?...women of nowadays want to buid their own separate wealth when in their husband's house and thereby thwarting the man's efforts due to their greeds and insubordinations...