Do you know what is often called "red flags " or "red flags" in relationships?

They are those alarm signals that, as if it were a red signal on the controls of a car, warns us that something may not be going well in the relationship we are starting and that it may be potentially harmful.

An isolated and punctual “red flag” does not have to be significant, but if there are several and they continue over time, it is time to stop and review the relationship that we are establishing.

I have made a small list of some signs to take into account.

I have had invaluable help from a courageous woman who is healing the wounds of a damaging relationship. And we thought together, from the safety of therapy, what she would have to take into account in the future when meeting someone.

• Inconsistency between words and deeds or between their own feelings

His behavior is contradictory. Sometimes he can be cute and at the moment distant. He says one thing but ends up doing another.

• excessive intensity

At the beginning of the relationship, the intensity of the compliments towards you stands out, he says "I love you" shortly after meeting you, he talks about many future plans too soon...

• It seems that you have come into his life to “save” him.

Shortly after meeting you, he recounts a dramatic life situation (divorce, a partner who treated him badly, family problems...) where it seems that you have to help him and this continues over time

• He speaks very badly about all his exes

All the past relationships he has had have been stormy and all his ex-partners "are crazy"

• He blames you for things that happen to him

Does not take responsibility for things that happen and blames and punishes you for it

• You always take the initiative to stay

He doesn't seem to show enough interest in seeing you and the proposal usually comes from you

• Spend several days disappeared or "in silence"

Does not reply to messages as "punishment" for something that has happened.

Does it ring a bell?

What else would you add?

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