While dating her she told me all kind of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

She told you? Did you see her giving anyone anything?

I know someone that would always tell me of philanthropic deeds, but you need to see him dragging N50 with a broke trader. It was so shameful to watch.

Na people like you the previous post the talk to....you go see red flags then turn blind eye in the name of marriage.....your wife didn't change, you are the one who refuse to see.

She wasn't, only that you were not observant enough.


Nobody can effectively hide his or her character if you are a good observant, many guys also hide their characters which often made the partner not exhibit hers too.

Meanwhile, ur excuse and allegation are flimsy, you need not inform your wife if truly you want to do charity.

Try to work on ur behavior to make ur marriage work.

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

She is the reason why u don't have kids yet, she has to learn to give.

I helped people without my wife knowing, infact she never get to awared of any since 5 years. Why your own a big deal

A lot of women are liars...
They tell lies to you so both of you can married..only for them to start showing their true self after marriage..

Infact na this dey fear me pass...

Make person no go marry witch thinking say na angel...

Cos bible sef don talk am say:
Even the devil comes in and dressed up like an Angel ...

Be a man. Do the right thing and instruct her to cooperate, else she should gerrout.

Don't let anything or anyone stand in your way of helping people genuinely in need. Whilst doing that, do it cheerfully, logically and reasonably.
May God continue to bless you.

Ur wife knows more about u than everyone commenting up and down...No one said u should not help but u can't over do urself.Thank God u said ur not that stable financially,when ur children starts coming that's when ur will understand hers fears..My friend listen to ur wife...I have been a victim of this.. because when the chips are down na only ur wife will be there for u.

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

You have been scammed sir, as in, you have been yahooed. Just take em like dat, or file for divorce. Sorry, but it's true. It also means that there still things up her sleeves. That hal is good, she will make a good spy.

[s]

Coly2012:
He sudden change may be related to what she have seen inside marriage as compared to when you were still dating,
You no challenges comes along with marriage and you may think you have much now but when children starts coming in expenses tends to skyrocket and the much you can save now might be your saving grace, opting to bring dependants in is another huge move at an early stage of marriage.
My advice- she have her own perception which you most respect as they are not out of place, if you most give, she must not no, you can pay fees for people without bringing them into your home, don't and never take her refuser as been wicked or a sign that she have changed.

[/s]

Kellzzyy:

Mumu

Aswearugaaad

Just what I was about to type, brah

MadamVanessa:




Fake women everywhere , faking their life just to get married to a man.

Why pretending to be who you're not, you just want to pretend just to get married.

Op your wife wasn't a phila let's not even talk of nthropist, she's a selfish and a self-centered kind of person. She knows the type of person you are hence she pretend to be a giver and she succeeded in pressing your mumu button.

She wanted you to marry her and she has succeeded, now is the time for her to show you her real self. If you're not comfortable with the marriage , you can opt for divorce . Let her take her self-centered body to somewhere else.

Op if you need advise, don't read from this maad fellow, he has a low IQ, do not allowed dumbass like him to destroy your home



since she's not discriminately doing this then it's not yet a problem, she's your financial principle since you lack one


only a foolish man use capital to help people, I was once like you and it took me from Grace to Grass before I got up again, meanwhile the people I helped then are the one mocking me and those that advise me to take caution are those that stay back


you give to people out of your gains/profit not from money meant for wealth building, she's on the right track



start to generate more income and you will see her relax a little. she doesn't want to go back to default

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

Your wife may destroy u
Be careful. Women are naturally selfish and wicked. Especially Nigerian women that were raised with Nollywood movies .

If u want to show kindness to people don't let anyone stop u. because we are on earth for different reasons. And nobody knows tomorrow.

Why would you want to bring people into your home to help them? I’ll support your wife in this case. It’s like you have a misguided priority. If you plan to help people, let them stay kilometers away from your business. Doing so would make them have a happy life at the expense of your own joy.

Whatever you want to use in supporting anyone can be sent to them, you don’t need to be their watchdog.

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

Remember you are already married hence, you can only build on your marriage in whatever way you can. But there are so many ways of doing good things without involving your wife. If you so much wish to train or cater for the needs of others , do it without letting your wife know. Your wife does not need to be aware of all your goodwill or financial help to others as long as you are not using her money. Women are very territorial hence you don't need to bring another person's child to live in your house.
I once told my ex girlfriend that I would like to adopt children later on and that I will like to raise and train other people's children. My dear If you see serious quarrel that day ehhn She said she can't take it and that no other children other than her children should bear my name .

UyaiIncomparabl:


No one said it's not. Everyone should strive to be a GIVER. Giving gives me joy. If there's anything that gives me fulfilment in life, it's GIVING.

However, forcing people to believe in that cause is not advisable. Not everyone can give as much as others. Not everyone has a large heart, as much as we would want everyone to.

Please ma, can I drop my akant number so that your awwwwnn will plenty today?

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

She played you...... Pretended all the way ....... If you bought a goat, then realised it was actually a cow ....... Best to severe ties ..........

People will always change. Only pray they don't change beyond reasonable and tolerable limit.

MadamVanessa:




Fake women everywhere , faking their life just to get married to a man.

Why pretending to be who you're not, you just want to pretend just to get married.

Op your wife wasn't a phila let's not even talk of nthropist, she's a selfish and a self-centered kind of person. She knows the type of person you are hence she pretend to be a giver and she succeeded in pressing your mumu button.

She wanted you to marry her and she has succeeded, now is the time for her to show you her real self. If you're not comfortable with the marriage , you can opt for divorce . Let her take her self-centered body to somewhere else.

Madam Vanessa is this ur comment

emmyN:


Please ma, can I drop my akant number so that your awwwwnn will plenty today?

I can, if I am capable. However, don't test me.

Why not help from far, must everyone stay with you?

What If the reps are made to manage the year groups so they can relate better to themselves .


Did you conclude on these issues during courtship?

[s]

tensazangetsu20:
I get where your wife is coming from. As much as it's good to help you also need to plan for your family. You are a married man and your responsibility first and foremost is to your wife and your children. Nigeria has zero social contract so you need to always plan ten steps ahead. What if you lose your job tomorrow or your business takes a turn for the worst or Nigeria happens to you. Will those you have helped return the favour. Put your family first.

[/s]

Are you daft or u just want to argue?

Did the op told you he wasn't taking care of his family?

Oga, the OP wanted a woman who has visions and goals just like him. It is very clear that the lady manipulated him into believing she's a philanthropic whereas she's not!

That girl is an example of how Nigeria girls behaves, they're so broke, stingy, bitterrd and filled with entitlement mentality.

The OP should go ahead and help whoever he chooses to help, he doesn't need that girl's suggestions or opinions at all

Ken4ward:
Why would you want to bring people into your home to help them? I’ll support your wife in this case. It’s like you have a misguided priority. If you plan to help people, let them stay kilometers away from your business. Doing so would make them have a happy life at the expense of your own joy.

Whatever you want to use in supporting anyone can be sent to them, you don’t need to be their watchdog.

Well said. You have a point here. I don’t know why men wait to be married before embarking on this kind of philanthropy. He wants to bring kids into his home to help them. By dropping money for his wife to be cooking, bathing and taking care of them? When they don’t have their own kids yet.

He should do his bit from afar. I don’t even see the need for unnecessary talk when you want to help people. As long as your home is not affected.

Cyntie55:
It's a kind person that always help, NOT who has alot of money. Look at how God used Obi Cubana to lift up that boy who helped those prisoners with the little token he has. Indeed you are a kind man and God will bless you.

The people you want to sponsor through school, it is not necessary you bring them to your house to stay, you can sponsor and monitor their education from distance.

Don't let anyone (not even your wife) block your breakthrough to divine wealth and prosperity. God is about to bless you abundantly.

I'm sorry to say this but your wife was never generous, she was only hiding her true character from you. But I believe with time she will understand your vision and purpose in Life.

I wish you peace in your marriage.

God bless you abundantly HANTY

Explain this to her and also make her know your true worth. If she's refusing you to assist her own family, then it tells you she may be scared of you guys' future financially.

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

Most women are like that .. since charity gives you pride, joy and fulfilment, find a way to be charitable without bringing them home, whatever you give with you right hand let it be secret to your left hand

She get sense pass you.

You people are now married, you have to be logical and sane in your spending.
She decline bringing people into your home because its not good idea.

If I understand you, you don't have your own kids yet but you want to bring two children into your home so you can take care of them? And you think any woman in her right senses will be comfortable with that? Well done father Christmas.

Let me just advise you; that woman has not changed. It is you who is spending money on outside people, knowing fully well that you are married now and your financial responsibility is first to your family that is the problem. You said that you are not financially buoyant. Why want to help every tom dick and Harry?

What's your financial plan for your family? Do you have a savings account for your unborn kids? Are you planning to build your own house? Are you planning to move out of the country? All these require money. The little you have, you are using it to do philanthropic work. God advised us to help those in need, but not at our own detriment. Love your neighbor AS YOURSELF. Na people like una dey like shower money for outsiders make Dem dey praise una, but for inside house, una stingy.

You are now married. Reduce the number of people you help financially. You have financial responsibility at home.

Make una dey get sense small before una marry.