jennykadry:

an 11yr old sweep the house the next day she arrived you did not even bother giving her a break? Before she moved in were you not sweeping your house? Oh to do ''madam'' dey hungry you at the detriment of the young child? Are you naturally crazy or is this some kind of act? Tell me the latter please.

Even my own mother did not ask me @ that age to do all that you have asked or better still expect that gurl to do for you.
Listen to me woman, send the gurl back to her parents and stop whingeing like an 11yr old yourself, from what you've posted that gurl is actually playing a far more matured role than you are.

Send her back and shut up let us hear word. Moderators lock this silly childish thread

Your own good oh . . .

At that age I was not only sweeping, I was cleaning, washing plates, fetching water (okay maybe more like carrying 1 gallon of water) . . . . But at 11, I was already doing serious chores. I swear there were days I thought I was adopted!

My point is that 11 is not too young to do little things around the house, but this poster is going about it the wrong way.

na wah o. . .

lol uju, I used to do small small chores then but my mum started her wahala wen I turned 13

that aside there is this thing about we nigerians, we help others with the intent of receiving in return and wen we don't receive we start listing out things we have done for that person. this poster is not treating this gurl like a sister but like an outsider and a maid, you think the smart gurl no know hence the disrespect. like debrief said, treat her like a sister and see what will happen.

my own mother(yes we hated it back then) used to scold us in the presence of our helps and vice versa but if that help decides to disrespect us, then you go see my mama in action. That was how she treated us and we learnt to respect each other be you a helper or not.

this poster actually set aside the work she wants this gurl to do for her instead of setting strategies on how to know this gurl more and make her(the gurl) trust her despite wat she ''supposedly'' might have been told by her family about the poster.

Exactly Jenny, gone were d days when pple just take relatives and use dem for house work, even the villagers eyes re wide open now. The only way to handle teenagers is like the teenagers dey are, but the poster just wants someone to work not a sister then save us all and bundle her back to her parents.

God bless my mother(margaret thatcher) lol if she wants to punish us, you need to see the help begging on our behalf and if she wants to scold the help see us begging on her behalf. There was this help of ours that was in her late 20's and studying part time in the uni then. I was in high school then and this lady used to call me ''aunty'' . See me feeling funky  lol you know naaaa someone calling you aunty(it sure was an accomplishment). The second time she called me ''aunty'' my mum scolded her immediately and told her to stop it, my mum told her to stop calling me aunty because I did not deserve it from her then. After lunch my mum called me to her room and gave me a serious warning that if ever I called the help by her name without adding ''aunty'' that I will smell my nyash that day. Funny how these people refused to leave our home then. There was mutual respect, although this particular lady only stayed for 4yrs(an orphan) ,got married and my parents were the ''parents of the day''. on her wedding, my dad walked her down the aisle,with my mum sitting down one corner crying a river, when she put to bed my mum was the ''omugwo'' woman and stayed with her for a month. I bless God for my family because not a single one of us have found ourselves stranded b4, there is always a helper sitting around the corner to help us out esp in this white man's land. Parents need to live a life that will help their generation, be good cos that good will come back in a million folds maybe not on you but in the life of your kids.

Treat people how you wanna be treated, don't expect things from them in return all the time, let God reward you. Let God do the work for you , that's why he is called God.


I'm mobile, excuse my shortcuts

Lol, Jenny are u sure no be d same mama we get? All our helps went to school and univeristy / poly, one just got a job with access bank, we were all raised like brothers and sisters. Same thing with me oh, some times I will go somewhere and someone will just say "so so pickin" and anything I am looking for na so dem go give me. My dad has gone to beg for wife for so many of d boys and has given away so many girls in marriage dat his friends ask him when his daughters no dey finish. But I realise dat not everybody get dat kind mind. Swnd d girl so her parents go love her even if dey no get money dey get love

Jenny, u re telling me ma life story oh. Abeg forget pple wey dey count meat dfor pot so dat visitors and workers no go chop meat, rthey no go understand d laws of sowing and reaping

@poster, most women see husband's relative or even thier own relative living with them as their house help, no, it is not supposed to be so.

From your comment, I can see that you are already treating this girl like a house girl, is shouldnt be so,

See, do not let the girl to have a feeling that she is not with her parents, take her as your own first born child, buy cloths for her, make her happy,
when it is time to eat, give her good food like your own daughter, do not give her bones or small cuts of fish.

Let me tell you , this girl will grow up and take you like a mother, the fact is that she wont live with you guys for ever, so treat her very well, stop sending her too much errands, instead of sending her on errands, go to the places together.

when she grows up she wont forget how well you have treated her, even if she forgets, God in heaven will reward you, see what you are doing to her now as a help in which only God will reward you.

Finally TAKE HER AS YOUR FIRST CHILD, forget that she is your husband's niece, behave to her like her real mother, never let outsiders know that you her not her biological mother,

Best of luck in your marriage.

jeny and debrief funny enof many women dont c dia inlaws as sisters n vice versace.d idea of d african family has reduced drastically.inlaws r sin as a threat to a happy marriage,inlaws c wives as an intruder into dia family.wen all dis hatred n inner resentments by mother in laws n sista inlaws stop,den we'll have a hapy family.things av changed seriously n negatively.i'm not maried now buh am in a mariagable relationship (stil crosin d tees n dotin d iiiissss) anywayz as much as possible i love all my inlaws genuinely n i love dem with all of my heart.i dont c anyone as a threat.both d teenagers,d children and all of dem.i try to give dem dia respect.even d teenagers n oda members of my fiances family i'm much older than.i buy things 4 dem,cook 4 dem.e.g d teenagers i buy things dat will fascinate dem e.g pencil skirts,jeans trousers,d kids,i make spageti 4 dem,d adolescents i take dem out,just to form a bond with dem n trust me dey love n respect me.resppect is earned its not demanded.dey do tins willingly 4 me widout even telin dem.like d bible says a wise woman builds her house.if u want love n respect give it n u'll get it.dats d best way to handle inlaws b4 u know it,dey wont even b a threat to u,dey'll even b a pilar of suort 4 ur mariage.i've sin cases of sista inlaws even teenage inlaws setling d rift between husband n wife (jokingly)because d foundation of d home is built on love n mutual respect.so i think u shud cal ur eleven yr old n treat her like ur sister.apologize to her bout how uve nt resected ha n her feelings.buy stuffs 4 her,take her out.even if ha heart is like d heart of stone,she'll start behavin herself

Learnt a lot from this thread.