I am shaking right now ..
This is what men go thru in the hands of the other gender..

abbey621:
1. You are putting words in my mouth, of course women have invested in their relationship/marriage but we all know majority of men have invested MUCH MORE! This is not debatable, especially in modern times where our 9ja women are more conscious about the financial status of the person they date. Furthermore my points were not stated as an excuse but as a way to understand why men hardly ever leave despite the emotional and at times physical abuse. What you call worthlessness/ depression factors, most see it as maritial kinks and workable issue. If everyone got up and left at the slightest sign of toxicity then nobody should bother with marriage....lol.

2. Forget the el-Doraldo and the Telemundo rubbish seen on TV, real marriages involves ups and downs. Toxic this toxic that, abegi, there are levels to this sh*t. You can't tell me a heated argument with shouting/insults carries the same weight as a slap on the face or being hit with a frying pan. You also can't tell me a woman that caught her husband cheating and landed him a hot slap is the same level of toxicity as a beast of a woman that flogs her husband with belt constantly for being a weak man. REMEMBER THIS DISCUSSION IS NOT ABOUT RIGHT OR WRONG! We are simply comparing notes and trying to understand the different dynamics that comes into play when people have issues in their relationship/marriage.

1. Again, those who think their quality of life worth less than their investments in what turned out a toxic relationship remain in it with the hope that the situation will magically change for the better and this an illogical reasons.

2. Again, once an environment becomes toxic, the best is always to leave such an environment. If you and your spouse decide afterwards to seek professional counseling or ways to resolve issues after your heated argument, that's OK too. But in every case, once things turn toxic, exit to avoid "had I knowns".

abbey621:


All that one na film trick, when push comes to shove, unless you've truly developed hatred for the woman and her family, you no go fit follow through. Even if anger allowed you to let her spend the night for jail, you go quickly settle the matter before it reach court.....When pikin ask where's mommy? You fit talk say you put am for cell?

Lol, well, u might be tinking am saying rubbish but my woman sef knows me, even her father knows me well, her father is even afraid to call me.

I am a cool guy, not heavily built wen it comes to body but wen i get angry i always want tins to spoil so that there would be mark, a reference mark for reference purposes.
I have bn praying to God to quench that spirit from me sha, but i hate nonsense.

I cant torture my woman no matter what so also i dont expect u to torture me,

And d moment u start developing some ment or malaria den i will av to administer u the antidote

That pikin wey u talk na simple tin, if he ask me i wil tell her her mother is in correctional center to reset her factory settings (e get how u go talk am) laslas 3 to 6month she go graduate and d pikin no go know anything sef, and if hin no na hin wahala.




Tho i am not praying for these ooh and it will never be my portion but as i said, i dont condone nonsense all in the name of... Na woman she be(a no like to dey hear that nonsense and manipulative line)


Well sha, my woman knows me sha and i thank God say she no dey misbehave, so i love my woman.

Jeon:
congratulations you made it

Is that all you have to say?? But if it's the other way round, you would fill up 80leaves exercise book with your epistle...

OlawaleBammie:


Lol, well, u might be tinking am saying rubbish but my woman sef knows me, even her father knows me well, her father is even afraid to call me.

I am a cool guy, not heavily built wen it comes to body but wen i get angry i always want tins to spoil so that there would be mark, a reference mark for reference purposes.
I have bn praying to God to quench that spirit from me sha, but i hate nonsense.

I cant torture my woman no matter what so also i dont expect u to torture me,

And d moment u start developing some ment or malaria den i will av to administer u the antidote

That pikin wey u talk na simple tin, if he ask me i wil tell her her mother is in correctional center to reset her factory settings (e get how u go talk am) laslas 3 to 6month she go graduate and d pikin no go know anything sef, and if hin no na hin wahala.




Tho i am not praying for these ooh and it will never be my portion but as i said, i dont condone nonsense all in the name of... Na woman she be(a no like to dey hear that nonsense and manipulative line)


Well sha, my woman knows me sha and i thank God say she no dey misbehave, so i love my woman.

HA........OMO TIMES 1 BILLION......TUALE BABA

Slynation:
Is that all you have to say?? But if it's the other way round, you would fill up 80leaves exercise book with your epistle...

Stop crying..
or you want me to start my regular madness... ain't you happy with the way I commented calmly?

I have the right to say anything that come up my head to a particular gender and at a particular time..


or you want me to tell him he's a weak man? allowing woman to dominated him in a gruesome manner? or should I said he is at faulty.. or he is useless that was why the woman was violence? or he should just close his eyes and forgive because she know not she is doing or tell him he's a man and need to display him masculinity?

pick one

It is good u ended it. Many women are bad. Social media is their new courts of Justice. If u see what men are facing in their marriage, u will hate women.

Kobojunkie:
1. Again, those who think their quality of life worth less than their investments in what turned out a toxic relationship remain in it with the hope that the situation will magically change for the better and this an illogical reasons.

2. Again, once an environment becomes toxic, the best is always to leave such an environment. If you and your spouse decide afterwards to seek professional counseling or ways to resolve issues after your heated argument, that's OK too. But in every case, once things turn toxic, exit to avoid "had I knowns".

But you haven't defined toxic......What exactly is toxic? Is it an heated argument or an insult? Is it physical or does it start with the woman putting too much salt in food because the husband vexed her? How about the man working too much and forgetting anniversary? I'm just trying to understand what the metrics are for toxicity or do we just make it up as we go along?

As a man, I get upset at least 2 to 3 times a week at my wife most times na just small stuff like high spending or letting our boy go out and play without any supervision. Then there are more serious stuff like when she quit her job out of the blue because she wanted to pursue her passion of social media influencer . Can you explain to me which of these scenarios should I consider toxic and JAAPA? Counseling and pep talks are only useful if everyone knows the rules and guidelines, we can't just be making stuff up now can we

Jeon:


Stop crying..
or you want me to start my regular madness... ain't you happy with the way I commented calmly?

I have the right to say anything that come up my head to a particular gender and at a particular time..


or you want me to tell him he's a weak man? allowing woman to dominated him in a gruesome manner? or should I said he is at faulty.. or he is useless that was why the woman was violence? or he should just close his eyes and forgive because she know not she is doing or tell him he's a man and need to display him masculinity?

pick one

I wouldn't know, I just thought I should point out that your post was too brief, because matters like this requires epistle...

Slynation:
I wouldn't know, I just thought I should point out that your post was too brief, because matters like this requires epistle...

YOU SEE MOST TIMES I DON'T USE MY BRAIN..
NEXT TIME I WOULDN'T FORGET TO MAKE HASTE TO REACH YOU, SO THAT I CAN MAKE USE OF URS IN TERMS OF EPISTLE..

oshorstan:
It is good u ended it. Many women are bad. Social media is their new courts of Justice. If u see what men are facing in their marriage, u will hate women.

I believe the men chose to suffer, cause at every point in time, we are presented with lots of choices to make...

abbey621:
1. But you haven't defined toxic......What exactly is toxic? Is it an heated argument or an insult? Is it physical or does it start with the woman putting too much salt in food because the husband vexed her? How about the man working too much and forgetting anniversary? I'm just trying to understand what the metrics are for toxicity or do we just make it up as we go along?

2. As a man, I get upset at least 2 to 3 times a week at my wife most times na just small stuff like high spending or letting our boy go out and play without any supervision. Then there are more serious stuff like when she quit her job out of the blue because she wanted to pursue her passion of social media influencer . Can you explain to me which of these scenarios should I consider toxic and JAAPA? Counseling and pep talks are only useful if everyone knows the rules and guidelines, we can't just be making stuff up now can we

1. According to verywellmind.com

Atoxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. On a basic level, any relationship that makes you feel worse rather than better can become toxic over time

2. People get upset with each other in relationships regularly. So long as you are in relationship with another individual, it is expected that your buttons will be pushed every so often. We are each also endowed with an internal alarm system that alerts us to when the conditions even within a relationship become highly stressful, and usually as a result of actions perpetrated by the one we are in relationship with. In such cases, if one is still uncertain whether the relationship has become toxic at that point, it is advised that one withdraw for a bit and seek counseling.

Jeon:


YOU SEE MOST TIMES I DON'T USE MY BRAIN..
NEXT TIME I WOULDN'T FORGET TO MAKE HASTE TO REACH YOU, SO THAT I CAN MAKE USE OF URS IN TERMS OF EPISTLE..

Lol...Then I guess you are about to make one of the best choice in your existence

Hahahaha don't know what to type

Sureplug123:
you actually think you are free That's funny

No mind the mumu replying comments without addressing the main issue, by their comments you shall know them.

abbey621:


HA........OMO TIMES 1 BILLION......TUALE BABA

See, dont do it u re a man, dont do that u re a man... All these are just manipulative statement to tame men, tho men have to be tamed to fit a woman but that is wen the woman hersef is a tru definition of a weaker vessel, but if i tame mysef for u and u con dey use my eye see shege....aaahhhhhh a go dey happy to revenge, na dat kain revenge dey sweet pass

Before my woman moved in with me i told her several ttms, madam pls i know say women get skuchi for head ooh, yes, even my mama sef get so am not expecting u to be different, but whatever u want to do, dont outdo it to me, if u dey give people outside hot hot dont do it to me, always accord me my respect and i wil respect u back. Do u know why?? Because my forgiving spirit get malaria, he no well, so a no dey too much forgive.

So my woman no me, she no dey find my trouble and a dey always cherish her, she be my second mother ooh

Kobojunkie:
1. According to verywellmind.com


2. People get upset with each other in relationships regularly. So long as you are in relationship with another individual, it is expected that your buttons will be pushed every so often. We are each also endowed with an internal alarm system that alerts us to when the conditions even within a relationship become highly stressful, and usually as a result of actions perpetrated by the one we are in relationship with. In such cases, if one is still uncertain whether the relationship has become toxic at that point, it is advised that one withdraw for a bit and seek counseling.

Atoxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. On a basic level, any relationship that makes you feel worse rather than better can become toxic over time

So basically the very institution of marriage is TOXIC! Since we all know 99.9% of all marriages will have an argument or misunderstanding at least once in 3 months and the crazy ones will have one every other day. Furthermore, if these so called counselors were truly effective why does 25% of those who seek their help end up in worse situations and about 38% end up divorced in 4 years or less? Don't even get me started on the financial burden, this is why people prefer to go to their pastors or alfas

Finally, how does Mama Nkechi and her husband living in a one room home with 3 children afford to see a marriage counselor? What of Iya Ibeji and her vulcanizer husband? I've always had this problem with theoretical analysis for relationships, it sounds so wonderful on paper but when it comes to implementation it falls flat because the solution reads from a script rather than customizing each solutuion based on the presented circumstances, reminds me of university days learning about Basic and C programming without touching a computer......

WHEN WILL DIS MARRIAGE THING END SINCE NO ONE WANTS IT ANYMORE?

abbey621:
1. So basically the very institution of marriage is TOXIC! Since we all know 99.9% of all marriages will have an argument or misunderstanding at least once in 3 months and the crazy ones will have one every other day. Furthermore, if these so called counselors were truly effective why does 25% of those who seek their help end up in worse situations and about 38% end up divorced in 4 years or less? Don't even get me started on the financial burden, this is why people prefer to go to their pastors or alfas

2. Finally, how does Mama Nkechi and her husband living in a one room home with 3 children afford to see a marriage counselor? What of Iya Ibeji and her vulcanizer husband? I've always had this problem with theoretical analysis for relationships, it sounds so wonderful on paper but when it comes to implementation it falls flat because the solution reads from a script rather than customizing each solutuion based on the presented circumstances, reminds me of university days learning about Basic and C programming without touching a computer......

1. Counselors aren't magicians who can help you repair irreparable damages already caused your marriage, and counselors cannot help you both resolve issues you aren't ready to resolve as a couple. Counselors serve instead as mediators to help guide both couples towards the best fit path or next step in their relationship. If a couple believes it has to be divorce, the counselor can only help them in achieving that without all the abuse.

2. Couples who are not able to afford a mediator in the marriage have no one to blame for that. So your mama Nkechi and vulcanizer man are out of luck if they can't afford to pay to have the stress involved even when seeking the end of a relationship significantly reduced via a mediator. And this is no fault of any others.

The solutions applied by counselors are industry-tested conflict resolution solutions to help partners safely resolve issues in a way that best benefits the parties involved.

Kobojunkie:
1. Counselors aren't magicians who can help you repair irreparable damages already caused your marriage, and counselors cannot help you both resolve issues you aren't ready to resolve as a couple. Counselors serve instead as mediators to help guide both couples towards the best fit path or next step in their relationship. If a couple believes it has to be divorce, the counselor can only help them in achieving that without all the abuse.

2. Couples who are not able to afford a mediator in the marriage have no one to blame for that.

The solutions applied by counselors are industry-tested conflict resolution solutions to help partners safely resolve issues in a way that best benefits the parties involved.

Just sad when you think about it, the proposed solution works only for those financially buoyant.......Seems the world only caters to certain people....shame!

abbey621:
Just sad when you think about it, the proposed solution works only for those financially buoyant.......Seems the world only caters to certain people....shame!

Marriage is not for everyone.

This can never be an African or Nigerian man. Wife beat am ke. Baba will beat nonsense comot for him wife. Nigerian men and beat ehn, five and six.

Kobojunkie:
Marriage is not for everyone.

Thank God say my mama and papa no meet you dem for no marry because shin shin no dey back then, mama had no job and papa dey work for NEPA. .

abbey621:
Thank God say my mama and papa no meet you dem for no marry because shin shin no dey back then, mama had no job and papa dey work for NEPA. .

Marriage is,again, not for everyone!

jimcaddy:
This can never be an African or Nigerian man. Wife beat am ke. Baba will beat nonsense comot for him wife. Nigerian men and beat ehn, five and six.

And baba will go and join the many Nigerian men in Jail who in regret wish " had I known".

Kobojunkie:
Marriage is,again, not for everyone!

Unless there's money....Dey talk am finish no dey disguise

abbey621:
Unless there's money....Dey talk am finish no dey disguise

If you no get money or you know your worth as an individual, or you are not mentally disciplined, you are not marriage ready.

But really, marriage isn't for everyone.

Kobojunkie:
If you no get money [s]or you know your worth as an individual, or you are not mentally disciplined[/s], you are not marriage ready.

Fixed!

A man better than his pedophile prophet Muhammad.

If he had followed Muhammad strictly that bad wife would have suffered very well.

Islamically, there is really nothing like marriage in the first place.

Things are happening in this earth.







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eddychukwu:
I Will Not Remain Silent: Muslim Man who Left His marriage says He Did so because His Wife Beats & Abuses Him Monday

A Muslim man has sparked a debate on social media as he opened up about why he left his marriage The man, Merbaan Talib, said he suffered varying degrees of domestic violence at the hand of his estranged wife including physical ones Lending his voice to the trending topic of abuse in marriages, Merbaan vowed not to remain silent for the men who have also suffered the same fate.



https://twitter.com/merbaant/status/1515022528481275911?t=tX_awbY8g1Len6zCuX6FEg&s=19