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Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman - Family - Nairaland

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Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by JWdayise(m): 2:11pm On Oct 23, 2005
i need advice

Hello everyone; I am 28 years old, I am married, I have one kid, a son and I am christian, but the problem is that I love another young lady, single, also christian, I don't know what happened to us because our love is so strong that we can't sleep without meeting. I try all the ways to stop that love but in vain.

Please help me. Thank you very much
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by layi(m): 3:48pm On Oct 23, 2005
This is this case of "The other woman". Truth be said, allowing this to continue would only destroy your marriage.
Get away from this woman.Take a vacation or sum'n if u can't handle it. The feelin will subside if u don't see her for a while.

But you are a man. Get facts clear, there's nothing wrong wit u. Its naturally to fall in love. U prolly fell in love wit several ladies before meeting your wife. Meetin her wont change your biological responses to stimuli. Dont think its a special feelin cos i tell u...even when u take a vacation...u might meet another sweetie. The issue is not what you're feeling but how respond to it.
You got married because u were prepared to face responsibilties square head. Dont act like a teenager in love. I expect you to be stronger and handle this more maturedly. We know love is a 2 edged-sword. It can heal and it can kill.
Open your eyes and let your head control your heart. Dont let this fine girl destroy your fruitful marriage. Plzzzzzzzzzzzz

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Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by SirKay3(m): 4:38pm On Oct 23, 2005
My brother, Layi has said it all. May God help you out as you are also made up to help yourself
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by jenny247(f): 5:07pm On Oct 23, 2005
JWdayise, I can imagine how you feel. your emotions all acting out. you want something that you really shouldn't have. Matters of the heart can be very difficult to handle and they shouldn't be taken lightly. life itself is a battle. a battle between what's wrong and whats right, what should be and what shouldn't. you must fight my friend. don't let let your feelings rule you. It may be difficult but you may never forgive yourself if you give in cos the consequences may be grave. this is just one of life's hurdle.. jump it and don't look back!
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by shockreaction(m): 5:29pm On Oct 23, 2005
You can always have a second wife... having more than one wife is not a sin.

Or, you can just forget about her. You're s'posed to love your wife, anyway. That's why you got married in the first place.

Seriously, come on...
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by dablessed(f): 8:59pm On Oct 23, 2005
You are certainly not in love, this cant be true love! My brother, you are in lust!

Come off this JWDayise! Deal with your self! Emotions should be dealt with and not be allowed to subdue us and ruin us as a result. This is an appearance of evil and all you need do is FLEEEE, as fast as your legs can take you. If your legs can carry u far, turn it to JESUS! You are a Christian you said so pray about it, say a sincere and genuine prayer to GOD to take away any kind of feeling you may have towards her - there are some prayers that seem silly and trivial but i tell you, GOD answers ALL prayers no matter how silly they may appear!

All the best and remember this is not of God!

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Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by layi(m): 9:21pm On Oct 23, 2005
shockreaction:

You can always have a second wife... having more than one wife is not a sin.

If u marry evrytime u fall in love/lust. U might end of marryin 1000 wives. Thats silly.


Like dablessed say. Pray bout it but also flee from evry apearance of evil. U can't put fire iunder your shorts and pray not to get burnt. Secondly tell your wife about it if its gettin too strong. Her knowledge would keep u in check
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by Greatpeter(m): 11:29pm On Oct 23, 2005
You already know what to do.
You it ever before your coming here to tell us that what you're into is wrong
and totally wrong so take all Layi and Dablessed told you.
You need no advice any longer as redards to this.

I put it to you, what will be your reaction if your wife has an affair outside?
Will you be happy?
So think of her too, let us not be selfish in relationships.
Feel your wife as you feel yourself.
Feel your Children at this point a time that AIDS is rampant.
Think a time like this when ladies do juju to turn your head and collect all your money.
Think twice my man.
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by dovey(m): 10:04am On Oct 24, 2005
I quote, "Do unto others what u would want them to do to you" So, if you can be okay too if your wife do the same thing while not go on and have a relationship with the new lady, but if not APPRECIATE YOR WIFE THE MORE.
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by whocares: 12:36pm On Oct 24, 2005
Look man, unless you can categorically say you do not love your wife and you love the new woman; you need to get over yourself because you just want what you can't have.
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by omon(m): 1:43pm On Oct 24, 2005
Build into your wife, what you see in the other woman!  Flee from every apperance of evil and cling to your own - your angel!
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by Odeku(m): 2:30pm On Oct 24, 2005
Mr playboy DON'T BE SILLY, YOU HAVE A CHILD AND YOU ARE MARRIED, CUT THAT CRAP OFF, YOU OWE YOUR SON AND WIFE THE COMMITMENT, GO BACK HOME, THIS IS JUST INFACTUATION

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Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by JWdayise(m): 2:50pm On Oct 24, 2005
thank u for all ,i get your advice i will try to do my best
it is not easy for me but i will try and help me to pray thank a lot
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by oluwizard(m): 6:21pm On Oct 24, 2005
Nobody is ready to pray 4 u everybody have is own problem control ur self, pls don't try ur best but do what ever is going to take you to end the relationship now. If not for ur wife do it FOR that small boy.
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by EddyTells(m): 10:50am On Oct 25, 2005
Go wash ya head for river so u go dey reason well ................. tongue
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by lioness(f): 10:57am On Oct 25, 2005
JWdayise, You dont have a problem ehh. This is sometime you dont need a forum for. You are married, you are married, whats up with this strong love with another woman? what make s u think this other woman will make u a better wife. Abi u no see well b4 u marry??..............................dotty luv
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by munyasia(m): 12:02pm On Oct 26, 2005
RESPECT YOUR WIFE(UKIMWI) AIDS IS KILLING PEOPLE LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by silverbird(f): 2:03am On Oct 27, 2005
Are you sure you are in love or in lust? What did you see in your wife before getting married to her? AIDS isa real. Even if you want to put yourself in trouble, try to put your wife and your unborn child a reason to live.
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by gina34(f): 1:59pm On Oct 27, 2005
Don't allow your emotions becloud your thinking.
A word they say is enough for a wise
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by hillkam(f): 10:18am On Nov 01, 2005
Hey!!Do I smell Eve in the Garden of Eden!!!!
The forbidden fruit tastes great...thats serpent saying. You dont love that other woman..Brother its called Lust.Those frequent meetings should light the bulb in your mind...Infatuation is a state where there are hormonal responces(the flesh) to what your senses receive.Love is flesh plus the human vitality.
Two wrongs NEVER make it right.The first wrong is admiring another which is not yours(do the commandments mean something to you)thoughts of taking your lust to another level in the name of love is the second wrong.
Remember,God is love and calling your sinful acts love is blasphemy...Brother,that other woman is infact a wrong by herself because she is breaking what God put together!!
Brother, flee and never look back because another look will lock you out of Heaven.
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by Seun(m): 10:42am On Nov 01, 2005
Hello JWdayise,

I'm sorry that our people have been so harsh in their replies to your topic.

I think the way out is to spend more time with your wife talking and doing the things that you've found yourself doing with this woman. If your wife objects to this change, don't mind her: just make sure you spend more time with her (your wife) regardless.

Treat her like a queen, and hopefully she'll start to behave like one. Try your best to leave this other woman alone so she can find a single man who also loves her but is in a position to marry her without wrecking anybody's life.

Wishing you the best,
Seun.
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by twinstaiye(m): 1:23pm On Nov 01, 2005
Hello JWdayise,
Have you tried to think whether the other lady loves you just like you love her? Are you sure she can be a second wife? Ask yourself if she is your present wife, she will also allow you to love someone else? Has she ever has any cause to be jealous even though you are married and mind you - jealous of another woman, not necessarily your present wife? Face the reality, the truth is, after her, you will still meet another woman you belief you should have met before you meet your present wife. That is the Satan at work. Keep on with your family, you may not cherish them now until your marriage is broke up. It is easier for you to let this girl go than listening to an advice not to meet another woman all your life. Think deeply about what I just said, I hasten to add that, I am talking from experience.
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by AngelaZ(f): 2:40pm On Nov 02, 2005
JWdayise aint you so lucky to have men like you give good counsel?
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by nucca(f): 8:24pm On Nov 02, 2005
have you thought about what the consequences of adultery is? Seek the face of God and repent because if u have slept with this lady or not, you have committed adultery.
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by salako: 12:32pm On Nov 03, 2005
You should discuss your problem with you wife. Tell her the truth about your feelings, so that the two of you can deal with it together. If you are completely honest about why you 'love' the other woman and not your wife, your wife will know who you truly are and then together you can deal with it.
its not going to be easy but at least it will be honest.
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by Seun(m): 12:44pm On Nov 03, 2005
Telling your wife will work if she's a mature person, and it shows her that you're serious about breaking this infatuation and sticking with her. She may blow up and be all dramatic, but ignore that and do what's best for your family: spend more time with them and resolve any outstanding issues between you and your wife.

Some of the married people have shared the idea of never going to bed without resolving all disagreements with your wife, and it really works! Please let us know our eager advice is working for you.
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by kandy: 6:53pm On Nov 08, 2005
BETTER HOLD ON TO WHAT YOU HAVE OR YOU MIGHT END UP LOOSING YOUR FAMILY YOU HAVE BUILD.THINK ABOUT IT.
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by sugar(f): 8:09am On Nov 09, 2005
@ jwdaiyese
angry i really can't stand men who act like kids...u need 2grow up!
y get married ur wife needs to kick u 2d curb...for good!!!
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by cheekee(f): 4:17pm On Nov 10, 2005
hey,
just try to spend your time more with your wife all you are facing is just a temptations ....................................remember that a temptation shouldnt overcome you but you should overcome it ooookay??just do your best and god will do the rest...good luck. undecided kiss rolleyes shocked
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by alheri(f): 4:52pm On Nov 11, 2005
U are wicked,may God punish u! just joking. if u two are really christians then we shouldnt even be talking about dis. u know da rite thing to do,DO IT!
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by icingbaby(f): 2:33am On Nov 26, 2005
you should be ashame of your self, what make you  fall in love with the other woman if you weren't going close to her . if i was your wife i will kick your Bottom. just playing. but if you can end the relationship with the lady please do. don't put your self first on this one think about you wife and your kid. smiley
Re: Help: I'm Married But In Love With Another Woman by kenflavor(m): 11:21am On Nov 29, 2005
alheri:

U are wicked,may God punish u! just joking. if u two are really christians then we shouldnt even be talking about this. u know da rite thing to do,DO IT!
@alheri that kind of joke was rather too expenssive.

icingbaby:

you should be ashame of your self, what make you  fall in love with the other woman if you weren't going close to her . if i was your wife i will kick your Bottom. just playing. but if you can end the relationship with the lady please do. don't put your self first on this one think about you wife and your kid. smiley
@ icingbaby, I think is high time you learnt how to address people. Playboy tried to warn you in one of the threads in this forum but you have refused to change. There is none of your post that isn't of abuses and causes. Please sister, try to change for good.


I wonder why some of us are been so harsh in treating this matter.
Let us thank this guy for beeing so wise enough to identify his problem and for beeing so bold to share it with the forum and seeked for advice. Is not everyone that will do that. At times some of us find ourselves in some situations we have never bargained for. No one has even asked him, how it all started.

JWdaise, I thank you for sharing your situation with us. I will only tell you to be closer to God and your family. Shun every extra marital affair because it can be destructive. Put it in prayers and make sure you allowed your wife to know about it. Talk to the lady in question to look for another guy that will eventually get married to her and that she should stop sleeping with married men so that no lady will do that to her, when she eventually gets married to her own husband. With that you have also save someone from the path of destruction. Tell her to leave you alone because you are already married with a lovely son.

I wish you the best of luck and I will also remember you in my prayers. Please pray with your family morning and night. Immediately after your working hours make sure you branch no where but your home to be with your wife. Share your weekends with your family. If they are the only thing you think of, I am very sure you have no time for any other woman.

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