janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

bukatyne:


@bold:

Permit me to laugh

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

reddingtonblack:
1. Your problem is you got what you don't merit nor deserve amd it seems you can't help buh take cognisance he is tew good for you hence why you wanna run, maybe the frivolous excuses were just your escape plan.

2. I just want you to know the only place to find real peace is 6feet under the ground,before you marry did you really have peace, well peace is relative to what you call it.
3. I will strongly advise you pack your bags n leave the man so that asides the kids another best thing could find him. all the best as you revert back to your father name

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

Maobichek:


She is insensitive and has refused to say it openly that she is interested in another man outside who is not perfect.

She used Papa as an example, Mama saw blood and ran to Papa with the complain but Papa told her to go and get his food. If the OP is Mama, she will definitely accused the husband of being insensitive to her plight, she will be angry that the husband didn't care nor show empathy towards her but because it's Bishop Oyedepo, everyone sees it as "faith in action."

Mama took all her salary and gave to Papa, i asked my girl if she can do that for me and she told me that she is not Mama Oyedepo. We are winners and i have been a Winner for over 10 years.

Klass99:
The title of your thread and subsequent comments, is a narrative I have encountered, with women who married really early and didn't get a chance to live their lives, independently and on their own terms.

They moved straight from daddy's house to hubby's house, which is not a terrible thing. But from conversations, more and more women seem to feel tired, dissatisfied and unfulfilled in their lives at some point and they just want out.

It may be a temporary feeling for some, which passes, for others it becomes an all consuming fire within, leading to something else. A former colleague is on this table, married with 3 kids, her speech can be alarming and behaviour sometimes unsettling.

Can young women just be allowed to live a little, broaden their horizons, explore possibilities after school/graduation, to discover themselves and what they can do for work and a career, without being unduly pressured to marry so early?

It is not always about wanting to sleep around or explore different diicks, these things help in building up, well grounded and adjusted adults, who have life skills to cope with life's challenges.

Back2Daura:
If I tell you so many baby mamas that are regretting their actions and needs a man you will be appreciate your home idiot. Obviously you are cheating on him or about to cheat

Kobojunkie:
There is nothing mad about any of what she relayed here and all she is is stressed from what it is that is bothering her.

Kobojunkie:
Why should she have to forfeit the kids in divorce?

Why does the picture or a perfect single life exclude her kids? Are you suggesting that single individuals out there who adopted kids aren't living a perfect single life or what?

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

Cutehector:
urm. I am not the op, i think your comment should be directed to her

Nuelzi:
What exactly does this gender want?

Sorry to say this but if what you wrote up there is true then permit me to say that you don't really know what you want

- you pointed out these qualities that most men lack yet you don't want to hold onto him.

E be like say e get niqqa wey you dey eye somewhere na why you wan dropout

Nobody should quote me....na my mind I talk,I no stone person

BabaJoe001:
I think you need to go on vocation. May be for like a month. You are choked... That's it.. Let him know you need to go on vacation. You married at the age of 19.

According your Calculations. So you didn't have enough time to explore as a youth. That also affected you... It's normal for you to feel the way you do. Someone that married late and have this kind of husband you have wouldnt compliain because she might had seen it all. Early marriage for women and men has its own disadvantages. You guys should give each other space and go on vacation or something.

But if you feel don't feel the marriage anymore, then please leave the marriage for your mental health. But make sure you get money ooo to take care of your self and your kids. or have a Good job. Life is too short to be telling you to stay because of kids. The kids will be alright. Don't just let them be far away from their dad. Not everyone will like my submission. Just speaking from experience. All the best.

Kobojunkie:
Nope the comment is meant for you who believed Oyedepo's lie that the devil is after your marriage but didn't believe his lie that he has never argued with his wife in 40 years.

janejjjjj5000:
I am tired. I have a better view of marriage. He is not meeting up. My children are saying that the way he talks when upsets affects them. The children cry and he apologizes to all of us. I know I sound confused but I am just tired. I feel that my children will not be seeing this when we divorce. That is why I don't want the marriage anymore. I just want all round peace. I am tired.

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

PlayMaker14:
You don't know the value of what you have until you lose it...


Do what pleases you.

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

Quote

Honestly you really don’t know what you want.. if you loose that man, you have yourself to blame.

TalkToOpeoluwa:
1. Madam to be honest you have a problem here..As a person who is married myself, I will tell you that. You said he hardly gets angry, which is a good thing.Now what do you do to trigger his anger? Do you yourself talk to him disrecpectfully in front of your kids?

2. While I'm not making excuses for his actions, it's also good to be balanced. So my advice: take time to check your own flaws and see why he is reacting the way he does. Try to talk the matter with him calmly, when he is More relax and in a happy mood.

Kobojunkie:
1. There is absolutely no valid reason for emotional or verbal abuse in marriage.

2. Love has never been a requirement in marriage, so stop trying to judge her marriage on what are superficial standards you hold to.

3. You should rereading the OP again and putting yourself in her shoes in other to possibly see what she may be trying to tell you.