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A Brother Needs Your Advice. - Family (3) - Nairaland

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This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married / Inexperienced Newly Married Man Needs Your Advice / Please My Younger Brother Needs Your Help... His Life And Health Is At Stake (2) (3) (4)

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Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by GentlePEACE: 6:09pm On May 30, 2022
Gandollaar:
Op, I will advise you to stay back and and arrange how you and your sister will share the rent.
Keep saving and buy a land. Continue saving and be building it little by little. Finish building and either park in or rent it, but you would have succeeded in another good stream of income. Now you can go rent your own place if you want.

There's no point moving to get your own place where your bills will be more. Once you have your own place, the ladies must start coming and you could become distracted from your goals.

Olonitola follow this advice as far as your Sis is not giving you issues. Don't tell her about your plan. Keep supporting her.

1 Like

Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by Qatar2022: 6:09pm On May 30, 2022
Gandollaar:
Op, I will advise you to stay back and and arrange how you and your sister will share the rent.
Keep saving and buy a land. Continue saving and be building it little by little. Finish building and either park in or rent it, but you would have succeeded in another good stream of income. Now you can go rent your own place if you want.

There's no point moving to get your own place where your bills will be more. Once you have your own place, the ladies must start coming and you could become distracted from your goals.
Open please go for this

1 Like

Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by hardon1(m): 6:19pm On May 30, 2022
She isn't giving you problem, them why you won run.

1 Like

Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by bitingcool: 6:25pm On May 30, 2022
Kenmatt:
Talk with her, if it's okay by her I think it's a good one you do.

But while leaving, don't go with most of these things you said are yours, leave some with her, you can get new once, little by little you will have it all.

So that she can at least have few she can benefit from you as you have also benefited from her and not just packing everything thereby leaving the House empty

you are a considerate person. Someone like you will never lack. what a thoughtful reply. it brought tears to my eyes. God bless you and thank you.

3 Likes

Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by sorepco(m): 6:26pm On May 30, 2022
Stay with her 2 more years and save enogh money....2 of u could get a 2 or 3 bedroom apartment to save costs....do not move out yet guy.


[quote author=Olonitola post=113300417]Dear Nairalanders, what do you think of this?
I /quote]
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by sorepco(m): 6:27pm On May 30, 2022

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FERNANDEZISBACK:
Yeah as a grown-up you should have a space of your own since you are up to the task..I can't imagine someone without his own personal space..yeah you should.. privacy comes in..

Tho you said there ain't no problems with bills and privacy but you still need to get an apartment of your own except you are too attached to her/she can't be by herself..
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by Gandollaar(f): 6:28pm On May 30, 2022
Kingnelson9:

Ah ! Wetin this one mean nah?
It means praise be to Allah. grin
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by threegees(f): 6:29pm On May 30, 2022
....
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by Kingnelson9: 6:34pm On May 30, 2022
Gandollaar:
It means praise be to Allah. grin
Lol

1 Like

Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by Electrochemistry(m): 6:42pm On May 30, 2022
Nlanalyst:
Personally, I think the reason you are able to save #315k in the space of 3 and half months (judging by your dates) is because you have someone to share bills with. It's a good thing you do not have a girlfriend because it would have birthed a couple more complications with no insult intended to the female folks. More expenses and more urges to own a place. If I were in your shoes, I would hang around with the sister and save more. And when I have saved enough, the first thing I'm doing with the savings is starting a business not even getting an apartment. It's good to long for these basic essentialities but believe me you still have time to live and relive every moment.
I would be more interested in saving and setting up a business than yearning to own a space that would further deplete my savings and to-come earnings.
For now, keep saving.
Anything can happen on the job.

I think I can smell a shrewd suggestion here; OP, follow this man's advice!
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by gabicon: 6:49pm On May 30, 2022
Olonitola:
Dear Nairalanders, what do you think of this?
I got a new job 7th of February and the pay although not a normalised pay is very okay. The least I have received every month since I joined has been #126,000. There were months I was paid #170K ( happened twice) because it's commission based.

So far, I have been able to save #315,000 but I have a little problem.

I am a 29-year old guy who presently stays with my elder sister who also works in this company. She's a single mother of two. The apartment is a one bedroom-parlor apartment. She stays in the room while I occupy the parlor with my few properties (Mattress, Wardrobe, Plasma TV and home theatre) none of which she has because she had to abandon her husband late last year as she was being frustrated by him. She didn't pick anything while leaving, so she literally has just started buying a few things in the house. Apart from the parlor, 70% of the things in the kitchen and bathroom belong to me.

What actually happened about this was that; when she newly got this job (August, last year), she desperately needed a space as her ex husband was seriously frustrating her. She just left the husband's house with absolutely nothing like I already stated. Then as an unemployed graduate, I couldn't renew my rent which expired (November, last year). Because of this I decided to move them to her place and also shelter with her. Now my question is that, I am 29 years old, should I get a personal space with my current savings as my monthly pay seems enough or should I keep staying with her while I keep saving?
Mind you, I contribute to everything in this house, from food to water to NEPA bills and everything. Times we share the bills, other times I pay alone or she pays alone but it's all seem balanced in a way. No complaints so far.

Mind you I do not care what neighbors think as well even as they seem utterly unpleased with a man this grown staying with his sister. I do not care and also, I do not have a girlfriend so it's not about privacy or whatever.
But you know as a grown man with a lot yet to be achieved, I just seem confused.

What would you advise a brother?

An angle you are not considering is your sister and her kids, she probably is able to manage well as a result of the support you are giving. I would suggest you find out how she will fair should you decide to get your own place. Being a single parent can be tough especially for women.

1 Like

Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by Theo51: 6:50pm On May 30, 2022
Stay a little longer while saving...and ensure you don't pick a pin aside your cloths when you're finally moving out.

2 Likes

Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by Munzy14(m): 6:51pm On May 30, 2022
Gandollaar:
Op, I will advise you to stay back and and arrange how you and your sister will share the rent.
Keep saving and buy a land. Continue saving and be building it little by little. Finish building and either park in or rent it, but you would have succeeded in another good stream of income. Now you can go rent your own place if you want.

There's no point moving to get your own place where your bills will be more. Once you have your own place, the ladies must start coming and you could become distracted from your goals.
Bolded is a sure banker...

Golden words...
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by Nobody: 6:53pm On May 30, 2022
She is your blood. As far as you have PEACE OF MIND there and she is not stressing you, stay and save as much as you can my brother.. And be rest assured for all your kindness to her and her kids you will surely be blessed by the Almighty God.. Trust me..

1 Like

Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by threegees(f): 6:55pm On May 30, 2022
...
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by caesymore(m): 6:56pm On May 30, 2022
Gandollaar:
Op, I will advise you to stay back and and arrange how you and your sister will share the rent.
Keep saving and buy a land. Continue saving and be building it little by little. Finish building and either park in or rent it, but you would have succeeded in another good stream of income. Now you can go rent your own place if you want.

There's no point moving to get your own place where your bills will be more. Once you have your own place, the ladies must start coming and you could become distracted from your goals.

See reasoning exactly my thought, but that buying land and building house part seems too extreme as his stay should also be determined by the age of his nephews and nieces . I like you already.
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by Corporate2020: 7:00pm On May 30, 2022
Gandollaar:
Op, I will advise you to stay back and and arrange how you and your sister will share the rent.
Keep saving and buy a land. Continue saving and be building it little by little. Finish building and either park in or rent it, but you would have succeeded in another good stream of income. Now you can go rent your own place if you want.

There's no point moving to get your own place where your bills will be more. Once you have your own place, the ladies must start coming and you could become distracted from your goals.


Your head is more correct than my own. God will reward you for this advice. You have done well.
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by osazsky(m): 7:01pm On May 30, 2022
Gandollaar:
Op, I will advise you to stay back and and arrange how you and your sister will share the rent.
Keep saving and buy a land. Continue saving and be building it little by little. Finish building and either park in or rent it, but you would have succeeded in another good stream of income. Now you can go rent your own place if you want.

There's no point moving to get your own place where your bills will be more. Once you have your own place, the ladies must start coming and you could become distracted from your goals.
u are wicked..so this is d advise u have for a 30 year old toddler..na wah for u o..how much is rent..how much for house..paying rent does not stop u from building..u dont rush into buliding cuz if u mess things up it becomes a liability..op leave ur things with ur sis..rent a house and start ur life..look for a good working class humble woman and plan together..within 10 years u will have ur house..a car and ur first son will be in jss1..pls avoid bars..beet parlour and nairaland girls..na u know o..u are not a kid..na so one frustatated first son they beat him younger bro yesterday cuz he refused to plan his life, have kids and wife like its the younger bro fault..explore
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by Pakwel(m): 7:17pm On May 30, 2022
[quote author=Olonitola post=113300417]Dear Nairalanders, what do you think of this?
I got a new job 7th of February and the pay although not a normalised pay is very okay. The least I have received every month since I joined has been #126,000. There were months I was paid #170K ( happened twice) because it's commission based.

So far, I have been able to save #315,000 but I have a little problem.

I am a 29-year old guy who presently stays with my elder sister who also works in this company. She's a single mother of two. The apartment is a one bedroom-parlor apartment. She stays in the room while I occupy the parlor with my few properties (Mattress, Wardrobe, Plasma TV and home theatre) none of which she has because she had to abandon her husband late last year as she was being frustrated by him. She didn't pick anything while leaving, so she literally has just started buying a few things in the house. Apart from the parlor, 70% of the things in the kitchen and bathroom belong to me.

What actually happened about this was that; when she newly got this job (August, last year), she desperately needed a space as her ex husband was seriously frustrating her. She just left the husband's house with absolutely nothing like I already stated. Then as an unemployed graduate, I couldn't renew my rent which expired (November, last year). Because of this I decided to move them to her place and also shelter with her. Now my question is that, I am 29 years old, should I get a personal space with my current savings as my monthly pay seems enough or should I keep staying with her while I keep saving?
Mind you, I contribute to everything in this house, from food to water to NEPA bills and everything. Times we share the bills, other times I pay alone or she pays alone but it's all seem balanced in a way. No complaints so far.

Mind you I do not care what neighbors think as well even as they seem utterly unpleased with a man this grown staying with his sister. I do not care and also, I do not have a girlfriend so it's not about privacy or whatever.
But you know as a grown man with a lot yet to be achieved, I just seem confused.


Talk with her. Save some extra. And dude. Rent a 2 bedroom apartment with her in one of the rooms and you in the other. She's your family.. remember you had no where to go. She took you in.. repay her by staying with her.. And also you get a cool deal out of it. You save money.. You have a lady that cares about you. In a space of one year. You got buy car .. think am. Stay with her. You guys should just add up and rent a better house.
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by Bbbwings: 7:18pm On May 30, 2022
Stay back.
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by Nastysam: 7:21pm On May 30, 2022
Guy find ur way....na woman she be....29 years....omo....Even if na 15k i dey earn....i go find my own life...
Olonitola:
Dear Nairalanders, what do you think of this?
I got a new job 7th of February and the pay although not a normalised pay is very okay. The least I have received every month since I joined has been #126,000. There were months I was paid #170K ( happened twice) because it's commission based.

So far, I have been able to save #315,000 but I have a little problem.

I am a 29-year old guy who presently stays with my elder sister who also works in this company. She's a single mother of two. The apartment is a one bedroom-parlor apartment. She stays in the room while I occupy the parlor with my few properties (Mattress, Wardrobe, Plasma TV and home theatre) none of which she has because she had to abandon her husband late last year as she was being frustrated by him. She didn't pick anything while leaving, so she literally has just started buying a few things in the house. Apart from the parlor, 70% of the things in the kitchen and bathroom belong to me.

What actually happened about this was that; when she newly got this job (August, last year), she desperately needed a space as her ex husband was seriously frustrating her. She just left the husband's house with absolutely nothing like I already stated. Then as an unemployed graduate, I couldn't renew my rent which expired (November, last year). Because of this I decided to move them to her place and also shelter with her. Now my question is that, I am 29 years old, should I get a personal space with my current savings as my monthly pay seems enough or should I keep staying with her while I keep saving?
Mind you, I contribute to everything in this house, from food to water to NEPA bills and everything. Times we share the bills, other times I pay alone or she pays alone but it's all seem balanced in a way. No complaints so far.

Mind you I do not care what neighbors think as well even as they seem utterly unpleased with a man this grown staying with his sister. I do not care and also, I do not have a girlfriend so it's not about privacy or whatever.
But you know as a grown man with a lot yet to be achieved, I just seem confused.

What would you advise a brother?

1 Like

Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by Mikesol: 7:22pm On May 30, 2022
I feel you should get a 2 bedroom instead with her
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by Fadafada231(m): 7:27pm On May 30, 2022
Cashio:
Op, please ignore any suggestions about saving to build a house for now. That will tie your money down and you may not complete the building.
Save enough to start up a side business which will act as security even if you lose your job tomorrow. From that business, you can start saving up to buy a piece of land and build as your business progresses.
All in all, I don't think you should still be with your sister after this year. You still need a space of your own, even if it is a self con.

The first priority of any man trying to start life should not be to build his own house, but to have a steady and sure means of income.

Oil dey ur head. Op follow this fellow's advice
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by Taiwo20(m): 7:30pm On May 30, 2022
Think am well
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by Gandollaar(f): 7:39pm On May 30, 2022
osazsky:
u are wicked..so this is d advise u have for a 30 year old toddler..na wah for u o..how much is rent..how much for house..paying rent does not stop u from building..u dont rush into buliding cuz if u mess things up it becomes a liability..op leave ur things with ur sis..rent a house and start ur life..look for a good working class humble woman and plan together..within 10 years u will have ur house..a car and ur first son will be in jss1..pls avoid bars..beet parlour and nairaland girls..na u know o..u are not a kid..na so one frustatated first son they beat him younger bro yesterday cuz he refused to plan his life, have kids and wife like its the younger bro fault..explore
My dear brother, I have made money, plenty money, and it was even at a younger age. What did I do at the most then; Clothes, shoes, car, fine flat, gold, hair, vacation, friends and family members problem.

If not for my husband that rescued me from family members, it would have continued on and on without me building myself.

I was doing business and getting paid sometimes in dollars when dollar was still N125, if I knew what I know now, I would have been a better investor.

His sister doesn't mind, and he doesn't mind what people are saying, so why are you regurgitating?
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by Gandollaar(f): 7:40pm On May 30, 2022
Corporate2020:



Your head is more correct than my own. God will reward you for this advice. You have done well.
Aburo Gandollar grin
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by skit66(m): 7:42pm On May 30, 2022
Calibrator:
Some people don't know life.... A 29 year old man staying with his sister will never progress in life as much as he wants because experience builds a man and he will likely not get such experiences living under his sister (forget about the 300k saved up).



Later you will wonder why some married men can't keep their family affairs in order, how can they gain the experience to do so when they have been sheltered all their lives.


Go and find a personal apartment of your own and you will be grateful for taking the decision. You will develop faster mentally and financially on your own.

one cold chilled hollandia yogurt for you.. i don observe say people wen smart � nor plenty for this nairaland
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by Nobody: 7:50pm On May 30, 2022
Olonitola:
Dear Nairalanders, what do you think of this?
I got a new job 7th of February and the pay although not a normalised pay is very okay. The least I have received every month since I joined has been #126,000. There were months I was paid #170K ( happened twice) because it's commission based.

So far, I have been able to save #315,000 but I have a little problem.

I am a 29-year old guy who presently stays with my elder sister who also works in this company. She's a single mother of two. The apartment is a one bedroom-parlor apartment. She stays in the room while I occupy the parlor with my few properties (Mattress, Wardrobe, Plasma TV and home theatre) none of which she has because she had to abandon her husband late last year as she was being frustrated by him. She didn't pick anything while leaving, so she literally has just started buying a few things in the house. Apart from the parlor, 70% of the things in the kitchen and bathroom belong to me.

What actually happened about this was that; when she newly got this job (August, last year), she desperately needed a space as her ex husband was seriously frustrating her. She just left the husband's house with absolutely nothing like I already stated. Then as an unemployed graduate, I couldn't renew my rent which expired (November, last year). Because of this I decided to move them to her place and also shelter with her. Now my question is that, I am 29 years old, should I get a personal space with my current savings as my monthly pay seems enough or should I keep staying with her while I keep saving?
Mind you, I contribute to everything in this house, from food to water to NEPA bills and everything. Times we share the bills, other times I pay alone or she pays alone but it's all seem balanced in a way. No complaints so far.

Mind you I do not care what neighbors think as well even as they seem utterly unpleased with a man this grown staying with his sister. I do not care and also, I do not have a girlfriend so it's not about privacy or whatever.
But you know as a grown man with a lot yet to be achieved, I just seem confused.

What would you advise a brother?

Share your plans with your sister, inform her that would love to move to your own apartment anytime soon or in a year time. You cannot just leave her immediately because you think you are 29 years and everyone else is having fun with their girlfriends except you.

You shouldn't just desert her because she needs you now, do you want her to return to an ex-husband that will kill her? Will you be happy if she is proclaimed dead out of frustration or domestic violence?

Life is not balanced, stop comparing yourself to others on the Internet who claim to be living a great life which you can't even verify.

Infact, I would advise that when moving out eventually. You leave some of the properties for her. She is your sister, not a stranger. You both owe each other your lives.
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by nabeelbabs: 7:53pm On May 30, 2022
Olonitola:
.

What would you advise a brother?

Even if you move out you go still pay rent, buy food, pay bills.

To me, I'll think you should stay a bit longer till she gets on her feet properly.

Goddammit shes your sister man, you suppose to protect her when she gets neglected, she deserves love and care.

What every neighbor will say it doesn't matter at all, shes your fuuucking sister.

But I'll advice you to sit down with her and talk about things, like bills and groceries. You can agree on what percentage to give every month. You can go 50-50 or 70-30

And since you guys are living together and you stay in the living room she shouldn't invite her friends over because of privacy.

Hold the bigger percentage guy, you are MAN.

Instead of spending all that money on girl outside whom i know obviously if you get your own place nah your girlfriend go chop your money, why not on your sis.

1 Like

Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by val4sure(m): 8:05pm On May 30, 2022
Cashio:
Op, please ignore any suggestions about saving to build a house for now. That will tie your money down and you may not complete the building.
Save enough to start up a side business which will act as security even if you lose your job tomorrow. From that business, you can start saving up to buy a piece of land and build as your business progresses.
All in all, I don't think you should still be with your sister after this year. You still need a space of your own, even if it is a self con.

The first priority of any man trying to start life should not be to build his own house, but to have a steady and sure means of income.
OP listen to this guy, those people that ask you to start building house do not know the cost of building materials in the market, them go jux open their mouth waaah..

save up and start a side business for future purposes, when the business has started yielding profits you can look for where to buy land..

Forget Ndi build house now, they think say to build house now nah moi-moi..
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by Nnamaka1: 8:16pm On May 30, 2022
If I was you, I will stay on with her till I am able to save enough money, like 5million.

Also you being around her will comfort her.

By the way don't let anyone know you are saving money talk less of how much you have been able to save.

Like I stated earlier, if I was in your shoes, that's what I would do
Re: A Brother Needs Your Advice. by oodua1stson: 8:21pm On May 30, 2022
You better stay where you are. Once you start livig alone you go hear am.

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