That is not a husband, sorry. No human being deserves such unrest this man has put you through. I can imagine being tensed up all the time because you don't know where the husband is. That is not life. You deserve better. I don't think you have reached the end of your tether that is why you are still trying to salvage this charade of a marriage.
I really want to know how much a woman can take before she knows she needs a break. Is it until he starts threatening to kill you? Emotional trauma will gradually turn you into a shadow of your former self. Take a break before he totally damages your psyche. You have a child to live for. I hope God gives you the happiness you need honestly and the resolve to let go if he doesn't care you're gone.
This is more than him being without a job, because he already gave you an STD few weeks into the marriage, and the nonchalant attitude he displays calling up girls to send their nude pictures. I ask again, how much can you take? You deserve better and you need to start saying that to yourself. Before you die for nothing.
thanks so much, i havent told you half of what i have been through, today i took the bold step to asked him if he still wants to be married to me, but he didnt say anything, as usual he walked out on me. now i think i have reached the end of my marriage journey, i have learnt so much, i was really unlucky but i thank God that all other part of my life has been best thing that has happened to me. i remember when i was on my last days of pregnancy, i beg my husband to alway stay home @ night because i could put to bed anytime and ill need him to take me to the hospital, he was still coming back really late. so i called my dad and cried to him that im having a feeling that i might put to bed soon and that there will be no one to take me to the hospital, my dad called my husband, but @ the end of this all i had to move back to my parents house since he claimed that he will be working till night daily( i couldnt tell my family that he had lost his job) my father told me that this just the smallest scarifise he cld ve made for me .my mum felt disappointed. so one day he came to visit me @ my parent s house with his friend and i told his friend how i felt, so unhappy abt putting my burden on my parents after all they have done for me and that all im asking my husband to do his to stay home @ nite for me,so that if im in labour he would take me to the hospital, so his friend adviced him and i moved back to our house,they day of my delivery, he wanted to drop me back @ my parents house that he was going for meeting , but i told him that i had a feeling ill put to bed on that day and that was how he was the one who too me to the hospital. im thinking of calling that his freind and just talk to him.
when he refused to say anything to me i told him to go to nairaland to see people s reply on what i have been through, im sure he is reading or have read this topic,. i didnt know that i was this strong to have gone through this and still be happy. if go back to my family today my dad and mum will be so so so sad to hear all i have been through. and if you reading this, remember all i have done for you, all the risk i have taken for you, how i stood my you in everything, and remember all the tears i have cried, remember all i have been through for you, remember all the sacrifises i have made and you i dont deserve all this, i deserve better
biko. . . . . .are you really sure you didn't offend this husband of yours in any way? something you think it's secret but the dude now knows about and he is not prepared to say yet? i don't think any man can be this wicked over his own baby. . . .
Awwwwww your last lines just made me shed tears. My husby is reading your thread now and shaking his head. How wicked can a man be to his own wife. A ''clean'' wife whose virginity you cunningly stole from her. whatever seed a man sows he will reap. That child of yours will judge him. Let him go, karma is not useless. no woman deserves a lunatic that does not appreciate. Every womans beauty is inside, the more appreciation we get. The more we blossom from the inside to the outside.
Let God judge your husband. It is well with you
@coogar
Some men are heartless believe me we have seen worse cases
I have but a few things to say; as I'm not one to air dirty laundry like OP has done here. Most of the posts here were utter lies. The rest is barely misunderstanding. Response regardless, I'm never posting on this thread again. But my brothers & sisters who've cared so much to respond also deserv. To know the truth.
1. I never asked for Unclad pics nor cald girls @ night
2. Never cheated (may've made some mistakes earlier in the marriage which I deemed causuall jokes to female friends, but know better now). I stood corrected since then.
3. I returned @ 11:58pm on our anniverssary becos I was working (before God & man, I must've 'flown' 3rd mainland bridge in 4mins) and drove like a maniac because I didn't want trouble). But trouuble it was as usual. Curses, screaming, vioelence etc
4. I'm not sure it's being muslim, but NLers, is it only christians who believe in power of the tongue and what proceeds from our mouths? In my home, statements like the fff are commonspeak. - "I pray by God's grace, armed robbers will kill you" - "I am the unluckiest woman in the world, to've married you" - "You will never see anything good" - "you are a miserable life, and you'll continue to be"
5. "Marriage brought him luck". If how I live on a daily in my home is definition of LUCK. I'd rather not be lucky
6. Empathy is why I cdnt tell my 8th month pregnant wife I got laid off. Many friends and colleagues advised I do so as well. Thank God she found the letter (I never hid) on my dressing table; and took it calmly.
7. DSTV increment to N4,800 had me leave change of N200, when the teller didn't have any. On giving account of monies spent @ home, I said it was 5k. I recalled and told her myself later "oh, it's actually N4,800 not 5k. Dude had no change". I haven't gotten over this for 5months, as she rants every minute boout how I lied on DSTV bills *smh*
8. I spent a 350k gift for baby shower? Lie from pits of hell! If I knew or cd access that figure now, I'll find a way to improve status quo, business and otherwise ASAP
9. Lastly, she confessed to me a year before our wedding that she dated (or almost did) this colleague of hers, who's now rumored to be HIV positive. Now I should be held accountable for giving her HPV/warts?, *if only it could be diagnosed on men*
All , I cannot respond to as I type from my phone. The violence has increased through the years, she slaps the hell outta me very often (without retaliation of course). Wwhen the rave and rants begin, I've learned to stay silent and not say a word. This further aggravates her to smashing things and slamming doors. Screaming till all neighbours wake up. She often locks me out and refuses to open despite pings, texts, calls and thunderous door knocks? And now Nairalanders shd believe "sometimes he doesn't sleep at home and leave me and my child home alone". Fellaz, help me advise her to throw in a wrapper next time, maybe I'll consider sleeping on the staircase.
I've barely operated a bank account since I got married, cause I bring all I earn home, (In cash) to my family for bills, welfare and sustainance. Now all I hear is "Ibought u this shirt, I paaid for this, please leave my PC alone" *laughs*
However not proud, but yes I drink. I never came home to cause or react to violence. I find peace in hanging out and watching soccer with pals and colleagues. Besides, if this green bottle brings me more joy than sitting @ home all weekend, I'll raise my glass.
I'll not return to this thread nor respond to anything. If you have any advice for us, the poster lurks around the thread for a pity party. Kindly do so in good faith, as God will infinitely bless you. BTW I need him right now and more everyday
I have but a few things to say; as I'm not one to air dirty laundry like OP has done here. Most of the posts here were utter lies. The rest is barely misunderstanding. Response regardless, I'm never posting on this thread again. But my brothers & sisters who've cared so much to respond also deserv. To know the truth.
1. I never asked for Unclad pics nor cald girls @ night
2. Never cheated (may've made some mistakes earlier in the marriage which I deemed causuall jokes to female friends, but know better now). I stood corrected since then.
3. I returned @ 11:58pm on our anniverssary becos I was working (before God & man, I must've 'flown' 3rd mainland bridge in 4mins) and drove like a maniac because I didn't want trouble). But trouuble it was as usual. Curses, screaming, vioelence etc
4. I'm not sure it's being muslim, but NLers, is it only christians who believe in power of the tongue and what proceeds from our mouths? In my home, statements like the fff are commonspeak. - "I pray by God's grace, armed robbers will kill you" - "I am the unluckiest woman in the world, to've married you" - "You will never see anything good" - "you are a miserable life, and you'll continue to be"
5. "Marriage brought him luck". If how I live on a daily in my home is definition of LUCK. I'd rather not be lucky
6. Empathy is why I cdnt tell my 8th month pregnant wife I got laid off. Many friends and colleagues advised I do so as well. Thank God she found the letter (I never hid) on my dressing table; and took it calmly.
7. DSTV increment to N4,800 had me leave change of N200, when the teller didn't have any. On giving account of monies spent @ home, I said it was 5k. I recalled and told her myself later "oh, it's actually N4,800 not 5k. Dude had no change". I haven't gotten over this for 5months, as she rants every minute boout how I lied on DSTV bills *smh*
8. I spent a 350k gift for baby shower? Lie from pits of hell! If I knew or cd access that figure now, I'll find a way to improve status quo, business and otherwise ASAP
9. Lastly, she confessed to me a year before our wedding that she dated (or almost did) this colleague of hers, who's now rumored to be HIV positive. Now I should be held accountable for giving her HPV/warts?, *if only it could be diagnosed on men*
All , I cannot respond to as I type from my phone. The violence has increased through the years, she slaps the hell outta me very often (without retaliation of course). Wwhen the rave and rants begin, I've learned to stay silent and not say a word. This further aggravates her to smashing things and slamming doors. Screaming till all neighbours wake up. She often locks me out and refuses to open despite pings, texts, calls and thunderous door knocks? And now Nairalanders shd believe "sometimes he doesn't sleep at home and leave me and my child home alone". Fellaz, help me advise her to throw in a wrapper next time, maybe I'll consider sleeping on the staircase.
I've barely operated a bank account since I got married, cause I bring all I earn home, (In cash) to my family for bills, welfare and sustainance. Now all I hear is "Ibought u this shirt, I paaid for this, please leave my PC alone" *laughs*
However not proud, but yes I drink. I never came home to cause or react to violence. I find peace in hanging out and watching soccer with pals and colleagues. Besides, if this green bottle brings me more joy than sitting @ home all weekend, I'll raise my glass.
I'll not return to this thread nor respond to anything. If you have any advice for us, the poster lurks around the thread for a pity party. Kindly do so in good faith, as God will infinitely bless you. BTW I need him right now and more everyday
GP
. . . and the plot thickens. So whose story should we believe? I will wait for the OP Letty45 to respond to this first.
I have but a few things to say; as I'm not one to air dirty laundry like OP has done here. Most of the posts here were utter lies. The rest is barely misunderstanding. Response regardless, I'm never posting on this thread again. But my brothers & sisters who've cared so much to respond also deserv. To know the truth.
1. I never asked for Unclad pics nor cald girls @ night
2. Never cheated (may've made some mistakes earlier in the marriage which I deemed causuall jokes to female friends, but know better now). I stood corrected since then.
3. I returned @ 11:58pm on our anniverssary becos I was working (before God & man, I must've 'flown' 3rd mainland bridge in 4mins) and drove like a maniac because I didn't want trouble). But trouuble it was as usual. Curses, screaming, vioelence etc
4. I'm not sure it's being muslim, but NLers, is it only christians who believe in power of the tongue and what proceeds from our mouths? In my home, statements like the fff are commonspeak. - "I pray by God's grace, armed robbers will kill you" - "I am the unluckiest woman in the world, to've married you" - "You will never see anything good" - "you are a miserable life, and you'll continue to be"
5. "Marriage brought him luck". If how I live on a daily in my home is definition of LUCK. I'd rather not be lucky
6. Empathy is why I cdnt tell my 8th month pregnant wife I got laid off. Many friends and colleagues advised I do so as well. Thank God she found the letter (I never hid) on my dressing table; and took it calmly.
7. DSTV increment to N4,800 had me leave change of N200, when the teller didn't have any. On giving account of monies spent @ home, I said it was 5k. I recalled and told her myself later "oh, it's actually N4,800 not 5k. Dude had no change". I haven't gotten over this for 5months, as she rants every minute boout how I lied on DSTV bills *smh*
8. I spent a 350k gift for baby shower? Lie from pits of hell! If I knew or cd access that figure now, I'll find a way to improve status quo, business and otherwise ASAP
9. Lastly, she confessed to me a year before our wedding that she dated (or almost did) this colleague of hers, who's now rumored to be HIV positive. Now I should be held accountable for giving her HPV/warts?, *if only it could be diagnosed on men*
All , I cannot respond to as I type from my phone. The violence has increased through the years, she slaps the hell outta me very often (without retaliation of course). Wwhen the rave and rants begin, I've learned to stay silent and not say a word. This further aggravates her to smashing things and slamming doors. Screaming till all neighbours wake up. She often locks me out and refuses to open despite pings, texts, calls and thunderous door knocks? And now Nairalanders shd believe "sometimes he doesn't sleep at home and leave me and my child home alone". Fellaz, help me advise her to throw in a wrapper next time, maybe I'll consider sleeping on the staircase.
I've barely operated a bank account since I got married, cause I bring all I earn home, (In cash) to my family for bills, welfare and sustainance. Now all I hear is "Ibought u this shirt, I paaid for this, please leave my PC alone" *laughs*
However not proud, but yes I drink. I never came home to cause or react to violence. I find peace in hanging out and watching soccer with pals and colleagues. Besides, if this green bottle brings me more joy than sitting @ home all weekend, I'll raise my glass.
I'll not return to this thread nor respond to anything. If you have any advice for us, the poster lurks around the thread for a pity party. Kindly do so in good faith, as God will infinitely bless you. BTW I need him right now and more everyday
GP
While I wait for the OP to respond to this. It looks to me like you are not interested in finding solution to this or what efforts have you made toward resolving your problems?
@Poster, do pray and give him a last warning! IF HE FAILS TO CHANGE, PLEASE GO AND FILE A DIVORCE AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR BABY! I no longer preach excess patience becuase in your case YOU MARRIED THE WRONG PERSON, AND LEFT OUT YOUR FIANCEE JUST BECAUSE HE PROPOSED TO YOU.
^I know right. He denied one or two things but not the extreme neglect & mistreatment of both her and their child she accused him of. And why would she ask him to come and look for the thread if she knew she had lied as he says?
^^ I FORSEE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HERE O! THIS IS DIRTY LINEN BEING WASHED IN PUBLIC^^ Please op and hubby, IF YOU GUYS CANT MAKE IT, NO HURTS, SETTLE AMICABLY AND IF IT DOESNT WORK, PLS DIVORCE IS NEXT OPTION RATHER THAN THESE PUBLIC SHOWS.
Such issues should be placed in public places at the first place talk more of the response from the hubby!
jo ooooooo
DA DAOCTOR WRITES FROM THE MARRIAGE CONSELLING DEPT
I have but a few things to say; as I'm not one to air dirty laundry like OP has done here. Most of the posts here were utter lies. The rest is barely misunderstanding. Response regardless, I'm never posting on this thread again. But my brothers & sisters who've cared so much to respond also deserv. To know the truth.
1. I never asked for Unclad pics nor cald girls @ night
2. Never cheated (may've made some mistakes earlier in the marriage which I deemed causuall jokes to female friends, but know better now). I stood corrected since then.
3. I returned @ 11:58pm on our anniverssary becos I was working (before God & man, I must've 'flown' 3rd mainland bridge in 4mins) and drove like a maniac because I didn't want trouble). But trouuble it was as usual. Curses, screaming, vioelence etc
4. I'm not sure it's being muslim, but NLers, is it only christians who believe in power of the tongue and what proceeds from our mouths? In my home, statements like the fff are commonspeak. - "I pray by God's grace, armed robbers will kill you" - "I am the unluckiest woman in the world, to've married you" - "You will never see anything good" - "you are a miserable life, and you'll continue to be"
5. "Marriage brought him luck". If how I live on a daily in my home is definition of LUCK. I'd rather not be lucky
6. Empathy is why I cdnt tell my 8th month pregnant wife I got laid off. Many friends and colleagues advised I do so as well. Thank God she found the letter (I never hid) on my dressing table; and took it calmly.
7. DSTV increment to N4,800 had me leave change of N200, when the teller didn't have any. On giving account of monies spent @ home, I said it was 5k. I recalled and told her myself later "oh, it's actually N4,800 not 5k. Dude had no change". I haven't gotten over this for 5months, as she rants every minute boout how I lied on DSTV bills *smh*
8. I spent a 350k gift for baby shower? Lie from pits of hell! If I knew or cd access that figure now, I'll find a way to improve status quo, business and otherwise ASAP
9. Lastly, she confessed to me a year before our wedding that she dated (or almost did) this colleague of hers, who's now rumored to be HIV positive. Now I should be held accountable for giving her HPV/warts?, *if only it could be diagnosed on men*
All , I cannot respond to as I type from my phone. The violence has increased through the years, she slaps the hell outta me very often (without retaliation of course). Wwhen the rave and rants begin, I've learned to stay silent and not say a word. This further aggravates her to smashing things and slamming doors. Screaming till all neighbours wake up. She often locks me out and refuses to open despite pings, texts, calls and thunderous door knocks? And now Nairalanders shd believe "sometimes he doesn't sleep at home and leave me and my child home alone". Fellaz, help me advise her to throw in a wrapper next time, maybe I'll consider sleeping on the staircase.
I've barely operated a bank account since I got married, cause I bring all I earn home, (In cash) to my family for bills, welfare and sustainance. Now all I hear is "Ibought u this shirt, I paaid for this, please leave my PC alone" *laughs*
However not proud, but yes I drink. I never came home to cause or react to violence. I find peace in hanging out and watching soccer with pals and colleagues. Besides, if this green bottle brings me more joy than sitting @ home all weekend, I'll raise my glass.
I'll not return to this thread nor respond to anything. If you have any advice for us, the poster lurks around the thread for a pity party. Kindly do so in good faith, as God will infinitely bless you. BTW I need him right now and more everyday
GP
Ok Now we hve some high level drama here. Good to always hear the 2 sides
How would anyone react to the words below especially 1, 3 and 4
- "I pray by God's grace, armed robbers will kill you" - "I am the unluckiest woman in the world, to've married you" - "You will never see anything good" - "you are a miserable life, and you'll continue to be"
9. Lastly, she confessed to me a year before our wedding that she dated (or almost did) this colleague of hers, who's now rumored to be HIV positive. Now I should be held accountable for giving her HPV/warts?, *if only it could be diagnosed on men*
Hmmm. The plot really thickens.
I've barely operated a bank account since I got married, cause I bring all I earn home, (In cash) to my family for bills, welfare and sustainance. Now all I hear is "Ibought u this shirt, I paaid for this, please leave my PC alone" *laughs*
I have but a few things to say; as I'm not one to air dirty laundry like OP has done here. Most of the posts here were utter lies. The rest is barely misunderstanding. Response regardless, I'm never posting on this thread again. But my brothers & sisters who've cared so much to respond also deserv. To know the truth.
1. I never asked for Unclad pics nor cald girls @ night
2. Never cheated (may've made some mistakes earlier in the marriage which I deemed causuall jokes to female friends, but know better now). I stood corrected since then.
3. I returned @ 11:58pm on our anniverssary becos I was working (before God & man, I must've 'flown' 3rd mainland bridge in 4mins) and drove like a maniac because I didn't want trouble). But trouuble it was as usual. Curses, screaming, vioelence etc
4. I'm not sure it's being muslim, but NLers, is it only christians who believe in power of the tongue and what proceeds from our mouths? In my home, statements like the fff are commonspeak. - "I pray by God's grace, armed robbers will kill you" - "I am the unluckiest woman in the world, to've married you" - "You will never see anything good" - "you are a miserable life, and you'll continue to be"
5. "Marriage brought him luck". If how I live on a daily in my home is definition of LUCK. I'd rather not be lucky
6. Empathy is why I cdnt tell my 8th month pregnant wife I got laid off. Many friends and colleagues advised I do so as well. Thank God she found the letter (I never hid) on my dressing table; and took it calmly.
7. DSTV increment to N4,800 had me leave change of N200, when the teller didn't have any. On giving account of monies spent @ home, I said it was 5k. I recalled and told her myself later "oh, it's actually N4,800 not 5k. Dude had no change". I haven't gotten over this for 5months, as she rants every minute boout how I lied on DSTV bills *smh*
8. I spent a 350k gift for baby shower? Lie from pits of hell! If I knew or cd access that figure now, I'll find a way to improve status quo, business and otherwise ASAP
9. Lastly, she confessed to me a year before our wedding that she dated (or almost did) this colleague of hers, who's now rumored to be HIV positive. Now I should be held accountable for giving her HPV/warts?, *if only it could be diagnosed on men*
All , I cannot respond to as I type from my phone. The violence has increased through the years, she slaps the hell outta me very often (without retaliation of course). Wwhen the rave and rants begin, I've learned to stay silent and not say a word. This further aggravates her to smashing things and slamming doors. Screaming till all neighbours wake up. She often locks me out and refuses to open despite pings, texts, calls and thunderous door knocks? And now Nairalanders shd believe "sometimes he doesn't sleep at home and leave me and my child home alone". Fellaz, help me advise her to throw in a wrapper next time, maybe I'll consider sleeping on the staircase.
I've barely operated a bank account since I got married, cause I bring all I earn home, (In cash) to my family for bills, welfare and sustainance. Now all I hear is "Ibought u this shirt, I paaid for this, please leave my PC alone" *laughs*
However not proud, but yes I drink. I never came home to cause or react to violence. I find peace in hanging out and watching soccer with pals and colleagues. Besides, if this green bottle brings me more joy than sitting @ home all weekend, I'll raise my glass.
I'll not return to this thread nor respond to anything. If you have any advice for us, the poster lurks around the thread for a pity party. Kindly do so in good faith, as God will infinitely bless you. BTW I need him right now and more everyday
I'm not sure it's being muslim, but NLers, is it only christians who believe in power of the tongue and what proceeds from our mouths? In my home, statements like the fff are commonspeak. - "I pray by God's grace, armed robbers will kill you" - "I am the unluckiest woman in the world, to've married you" - "You will never see anything good" - "you are a miserable life, and you'll continue to be"
now, in the present of the GOD u married, was i a virgin or not?, i didnt tell this to my but u told her? now you lying i had an affair with an man. if i had affair with any man may the Almighty God punish me. you have been my only intimate partner in my entire life and you it. cause i told you a man was asking me out, see what you turned it into. God sees all of us. i have never made love to anyman apart from you in my life, always lying
i also believe you haven't cheated but if you actually cursed your hubby by saying he would die from the bullets of armed robbers then. . wow. . . if you really wish him dead then you didn't have to make this thread at all. just mix some poison in his food.
2. Never cheated (may've made some mistakes earlier in the marriage which I deemed causuall jokes to female friends, but know better now). I stood corrected since then.
Big mistake, never give your spouse room to suspect you. It sows seeds of doubt. And you see how those 'casual/harmless' jokes have escalated into this mess. I hope people like dayokanu are learning.
jennykadry:
True, those are some harsh words mehnnnn
For person like you to confess it's harsh, it has to be harsh.
I guess you would have been happier if you husband had been killed by robbers ??
You pray he would never see anything good, And i guess your prayer is being answered currently
He is a miserable life and he would continue to be.
Yes God answered all your prayers except number 1, So why are you complaining
heaven forbid but if the husband dies as a result of gun wounds, i will look for this woman to prophesy the next lottery numbers for me. she could be the next nostradamus!
i never said you will never see anything , i said if you keep doing all these things dat good things will not come his way, and i didnt say you are miserable life, i said he his a saddest and find happiness when i cry and unhappy, and most esp, i didnt say armed robbers will kill him, he wore very dark shades when he was going out, and i told him not to because he looked like an armed robber b4 they kill him, and i ve appplogised severally since then,
it's ok. . . . .
it's only you and your husband that can work this out. my advice: you people need a long talk, sort out the differences and give it one last-ditch attempt to save this marriage. there's a child in the marriage already. for the sake of that innocent child who has nothing to do with your cursing, keeping late nights, drinking, stds, slaps and violence - make it work for the baby. if the 2 of you are not selfish, you would quit this nonsense and get a grip.
marriage has never been a smooth ride. both of you must work hard to make things right. forgive your hubby and move on from here.
