Sicherheit:


You don't have to pray that for me because I myself pray that if I ever treat my wife in any manner that diminishes her as a person, she should slap me.
I can't believe I'm having this argument with a woman, e be like say some naija women don follow join their western sisters in masochistic tendencies

Guy, are you married?

Sicherheit:

You did not see where she said it was because he was wearing dark glasses at night and she told him not to before the mistake him for arm robbers and kill him.
Maybe you should calm down and read the thread very well before you respond because the way you're quickly jumping into conclusion so that you can be seen as a correct wife material is as unattractive as being a doormat.
I nor argue abeg, hopefully OP's husband is reading and learning.

Lol . . . that would have been useful if my man was a NLDer . . .    

Children of now-a-days. SMH!!

@ Genuis

He's obviously not!

Genius100:

Guy, are you married?

does he sound like a married man to you? anyone advising a woman to move out of her matrimonial house with a baby in the marriage can't possibly know the true value of the marriage institution. he probably feels marriage works the same way as boyfriend/girlfriend tiffs where either of the party can move out and move in as he/she pleases.

When I hear stories about what some men do to women, I used to wonder how they can get away with it but since I started visiting Nairaland, I understand very well how it is possible. Some women's mentality are so warped, even men who wouldn't normally take advantage will find themselves doing it.  
The woman gives a long list of what she has endured before, during and after pregnancy with her husband (he does not deny it) and then she said she slapped him once and all these other so called women can fixate on is that she slapped him. See warped minds, O ga o!

i think there was a similar thread ages ago where a couple [dont know if they were married] were listing all kinds of things here.

somebody later accused both of being the same person but i dont know if that was the case.

pretty long thread- too bad the names involved dont come to mind.

^^ What can the wife do to make her deserve a slap from the husband.

Like she dished out to him?

I have a feeling too its the same person. .Lol, there are mad people around who like talking to themselves. .

^^i'm not saying this couple is the same person o, lol.

just remembering that other contentious thread.


it was terribly rowdy with accusations and counter accusations being thrown left, right and center.

nlers of course added their own drama.

2mch:

Good to hear the other side,
now Wife: i didnt advocate instant divorce like i would normally have because you came across as a bit emotional and childish. You come across as someone that cannot forgive, and uses past mistakes as a weapon. Please drop this attitude. If your husband is so terrible, dont you think he is a reflection on your ability to make the wrong choices? Also the fact that despite all this you were still willing to work on it shows that you know something we dont, like you also have some fault in what is going on. I can also see you acting out in the way your husband said, crying, shouting and all sorts. But that kind of reaction must come from being frustrated by your husband's behavior. Also, your childish behavior as to maltreating the man because he lost is job is very bad on your part. But this is a woman for you. You admitted that he took care of your every need and you hardly had to spend your money when he was working working, yet you forget that as soon as you become the provider of the household. How will you feel in his shoes? Before you misbehave in the future always put others in your shoes. You also have to have a forgiving spirit, and learn to let things go when you have forgiven. The past should never come up. You have to learn to communicate well with your husband and hold your tongue. You are very disrespectful with it. It is good that you could not even point to an insult or beating he gave you so he is not an abusive person. You are frustrating him with your words and your actions. What ever you buy in the house is for the both of you and same goes with him. Stop misbehaving and try to learn some humility. The success of your marriage depends on respect for your spouse and communication. Also, you are partner's in everything. His success is yours and his failure is yours too. Both of you should be looking for how to get better jobs. No matter what learn to keep your hands to yourself woman! And no more breaking things? Get a hold of your emotions and temper, if not one day you will throw your child out of anger instead of a glass cup. Also madam, do away with unnecessary things like DSTV at this time. The money can be put towards better things if you cant afford it. Cut your coat according to your size and stop the financial pressure on the guy.

The husband: It is good that we have heard your side but as the husband it is best you also learn to forgive. Both of you are childish. You met your wife a virgin so why find an excuse to misbehave? The fact that you did not disclaim the serious allegation that you gave her an STD shows that it is true. And you are the cheat in this relationship. Even if your wife was pregnant why did you not tell her about your job loss? Your wife should be like your shadow, no secrets whatsoever. Your wife's hysterical behavior is a result of the frustration she has experienced at your hands. It is only a very wicked person that will be so useless to his wife, when it comes to women. What if she had conceived when you gave her that STD? And your child came out deformed or you lost your child? Can you imagine the resentment you will feel if this happened? All the energy you place on womanizing and drinking can be channeled into your family and into looking for a new job. Leave the beer parlor and women alone. You are not a single man or a married man leaving single. You have no excuse of disappearing and mistreating your wife. Do not let your child grow up in that kind of home because they will hate you in the future. It is your type that end up alone and when your children are succesful they turn their backs on you. It is your duty as a man to protect your wife and children from external forces and should be the rock on which they stand. Look, you are a man with a family, and you must provide for them. Go out and look for a job. Even if it means you look for a lower paying job, every N200 you contribute will mean something. God probably put you in this position to humble you. And until you turn back to God and focus on your family things will not get better. If your wife is hysterical and ranting it is because you do not face issues but runaway and hide in your drinks. An issue will never go away if you dont face it squarely. You lack good communication skills. The problem with this marriage is communication. Also, you are not the first person to marry a wife from another religion, so that is not an excuse. Look, you have a problem. You wife's happiness and family security all depend on you. If you want this marriage to work you have to decide to change and be a better person. I have a feeling that after this you will try. Please do for your own sake and your child's sake. Also pspend more time with your family. Even if you cannot afford to take them to nice places, staying home and helping to watch your child while your wife is busy will equate to spending time with your family. These children grow up fast. You dont want to lose out on these precious bonding moments. Children need their fathers even more than the wife to become productive in future. Even if you dont achieve the height of success in your life, your child can be very great if you are  active in their life and a good father.You are a man now. Leave childish things alone.

x1000¹⁰⁰⁰ May God bless you for this post.

Letty45, I'm glad you've taken off your posts (though ppl quoted you and some are still there). I hope this event serves as some kind of kick to both of you to get your heads back together at least for the sake of your child. 2mch has said it all. I hope you both heed these words carefully.

tpia@:

^^i'm not saying this couple is the same person o, lol.

just remembering that other contentious thread.


it was terribly rowdy with accusations and counter accusations being thrown left, right and center.

nlers of course added their own drama.

Oh, well I just had a feeling

All i can add, is that, the wife looks to me as a little bit controlling, and that is driving the man mad, she wants to know everything, even to the bills that do not concern her, she should let her hubby be the man in the house and stop nagging, haba!!!!, you want love, you too show love and be a good wife, for you to have a good husband and turn his heart especially now that he says he still loves you, you have to kill him with kindness,

Genius100:

Guy, are you married?

Bros, I'm sure I all my response was condoning the man's behavior you won't ask me that question.

coogar:

does he sound like a married man to you? anyone advising a woman to move out of her matrimonial house with a baby in the marriage can't possibly know the true value of the marriage institution. he probably feels marriage works the same way as boyfriend/girlfriend tiffs where either of the party can move out and move in as he/she pleases.

First of all, where is the matrimonial home? It can't be the one where the husband comes and goes as he pleases, chats with other women in front of her, begs other women to send him naked picture? Matrimonial home where she has to beg him to stay home at night in case she goes into labor? My sister this matrimonial home you are talking about, is it different from the one where she left all alone with the baby while her husband goes out to drink with his friends, the home with the husband who brings nothing to the table but takes? Is that the Matrimonial home you speak of? Then my dear, you have big issues and it is a waste of time discussing with you.
Since we are all praying for each other, my prayer is that all the women who are urging this woman to stay preserve this wonderful matrimonial home be gifted with the same kind in ten folds.
Do I hear an Amen?

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^^ What can the wife do to make her deserve a slap from the husband.

Like she dished out to him?

Can you pls list one?

Sicherheit:

First of all, where is the matrimonial home? It can't be the one where the husband comes and goes as he pleases, chats with other women in front of her, begs other women to send him Unclad picture? Matrimonial home where she has to beg him to stay home at night in case she goes into labor?

it seems you are just reading what you want to read. the husband comes n goes as he pleases because the woman in question has made the house a hell-hole for him. who wants to return back home and face slaps, verbal abuses and curses? do you? did you not see where the man said he had been locked out at nights and stuffs or is this a case of myopia on your part?

My sister this matrimonial home you are talking about, is it different from the one where she left all alone with the baby while her husband goes out to drink with his friends, the home with the husband who brings nothing to the table but takes? Is that the Matrimonial home you speak of? Then my dear, you have big issues and it is a waste of time discussing with you.

you are putting the cart before the horse. a lot had happened before the husband started misbehaving. the wife is the abuser here. go and read the husband's defense before making judgements on your one-eyed analysis. it was the woman that started the abuses, locked him out, screamed, wailed to the neighbours and airing her dirty linen. i wouldn't stay at home with such wife as well. you also forgot where she said when the dude was woking, the wife never spent her wages. . . . .trouble started when the husband lost his job and women being what they are started feeling the pinch and getting aggressive.

Since we are all praying for each other, my prayer is that all the women who are urging this woman to stay preserve this wonderful matrimonial home be gifted with the same kind in ten folds.
Do I hear an Amen?

when your sister gets into such situation, move her out into your house and marry her. the funniest ish here is many of the women here would have managed the situation properly before it escalated to this crisis. it's all about understanding and maturity. what do you expect a man to do if a woman slaps him on the face? we should commend this man he has not retaliated. most men who take alcohol would have beaten her into a pulp with any slight provocation.

i am not in support of the husband but the wife has majority of the faults. . . . . .

Oga. I wish you two well o.

Just one thing for the husband: Be the man!

When the abuse started from either side they should have nipped it in the bud then. One thing I know is that usually when someone stays in an abusive relationship for a long time they too become abusive. I remember feeling the same way about a friend of a cousin but my cousins husband told me that the woman has gone through hell with the man. In my mind I am thinking if the only way you can be married to this man is by being so verbally abusive and even sometimes physical then there are issues there. It seems the man changed and she could not get over the bitterness of his earlier abuse.

I am glad that a lot of single people come on here to read this stuff.

@Coogar

What the hell are you talking about? you my friend are accusing sicherheit of reading what he wants to read and you are as guilty as hell as well. When the man came on here and gave us a list of the curses she baptized him with even I thought it was wrong, but this lady has come back here to explain that she did not put the words out like he did and actually told us what she said and how she said it which by the way makes the man a liar.

That armed robber issue to me is nothing and I definitely understand where she is coming from. Some mothers have had to caution their sons on their down-low saggy jeans before the police pick them up in the streets and lock them up like ageberos or hardened criminals, does it mean they are wishing their kids evil? nope

Honestly you are the one choosing to read what you wanna read. If this man was not busy chatting ladies up with his wife beside him , asking for unclad pics, coming home late and not sleeping at home at all, THIS PROBLEM WOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN TO THIS DAMMIT

I am a fellow woman and I know what its like when my husband travels for a week and how lonely I get with him not around and can imagine, alot of us get so much attention from our hubbys and even complain that it is toomuch. I am looking at this case and imagining that it's happening to me (God forbid). My own husband the man that promised to love and cherish me, busy chatting another gurl up on the fone right in my very before, given me STD, comes back home late, does not give an F about his child, sleeps out, found heaps of messages sent to other gurls on his phone and you expect her to be happy? have we forgotten that this gurl is human with blood flowing through her veins?

OP and hubby enjoy this music tonight. Make una give unaselves everything tonight yea thanku me laterz, I have always been known for my good heart

[flash=500,400]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPo5wWmKEaI?version=3''[/flash]


Cheii I remember when you sang this song to this gurl before you married her.


[flash=500,400]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkChu2T3Q6c?version=3''[/flash]

//

Ofcourse, there are great marriages but also with their ups and down. .It ain't always sweet and rosy- goshh, what is that saying again? *walks away thinking*