EcoLaw:
Good evening Nairalanders, a friend of mine came to me for an advise.

My friend is in his late 30s, he has been in a relationship with his woman, they have been together for a period of 8 years, and they have 2 kids together.

This my friend has a younger brother, the younger brother told him that they should go and collect traditional marriage list from his woman family, so that traditional marriage can take place by December.

My friend worry is that, one, he is not financially capable to do traditional marriage rite as of now and secondly, he doesn't have a good paying job now.

Another of his worry is that, he feels it shameful for his younger brother to sponsor his wedding, he is afraid won't he be insulted in the future by people, that he can't not pay his wife bride price, that it was somebody that married his wife for him. His brother told him not to worry about the financial responsibilities, that God will take control.

My advice for him was that he should tell his brother to give him the money to go start
a business, maybe when the business balances, he can go and do the marriage rite. But his brother told him that the lady has tired for waiting for 8 years, that they should do the traditional marriage first, every other thing shall fall in place. This his brother has been supportive to him.

Nairalanders please what's you take on this?

People having too much pride withou having common sense. So it’s OK to collect money for business from younger bro?? Las las na ur helper be ur helper.. whether young or old

He should listen to his brother's advice, but for him to have impregnate a lady without doing the needful is very wrong.

If your brother decides to finance your wedding you should see it as a goodwill gesture I guess.

There are so many people that'll kill to have the opportunity.

I sincerely hope your wedding goes as planned.

You are a bad friend with bad advice! Don't you know, that lady might be his luck opener? Secondly how will you feel is the lady in question is your sister!

Nobody here have made any meaning contribution.


He should not take the offer at all.
If his brother so care about him, he should upgrade his financial status n let him use his own money to do it.

Questions to ask
What does the younger brother do?
Did the younger brother stay with him before?

When is he so concern about paying bride price for him than upgrading him.

And your friend Bleep up big time!

Ecolaw , just take the money from
your brother and carry out the rites
for this woman that has been faithful
to you.


Simply discuss the areas your loving
younger brother can assist you in
business.


You aren't getting any younger❗️❗️



I come in peace✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️

Na waa for people sha! So which is more shameful? Staying with her 8yrs without marriage abi letting someone finance your wedding? You even see someone ready to cover your shame and finance your wedding, you are posing... Abi is it not your brother? I don't blame you sha. Its the silly woman that has been doing wifely duties for such a wicked soul that I blame! I pity you. Pray nothing happens to that woman in that your unwed state... Else you marry her corpse!

He should collect the money and do business. Meanwhile, he kept someone's daughter in his house for 8years without doing the needful. Mshew. With two children already. What is there again?

8 years. See finish. And she's still with him She did this to herself.

The younger brother has more sense than his older brother. I suspect he wants to get married soon but wants his brother to be properly married first.

EcoLaw:
Good evening Nairalanders, a friend of mine came to me for an advise.

My friend is in his late 30s, he has been in a relationship with his woman, they have been together for a period of 8 years, and they have 2 kids together.

This my friend has a younger brother, the younger brother told him that they should go and collect traditional marriage list from his woman family, so that traditional marriage can take place by December.

My friend worry is that, one, he is not financially capable to do traditional marriage rite as of now and secondly, he doesn't have a good paying job now.

Another of his worry is that, he feels it shameful for his younger brother to sponsor his wedding, he is afraid won't he be insulted in the future by people, that he can't not pay his wife bride price, that it was somebody that married his wife for him. His brother told him not to worry about the financial responsibilities, that God will take control.

My advice for him was that he should tell his brother to give him the money to go start
a business, maybe when the business balances, he can go and do the marriage rite. But his brother told him that the lady has tired for waiting for 8 years, that they should do the traditional marriage first, every other thing shall fall in place. This his brother has been supportive to him.

Nairalanders please what's you take on this?

Did he forget about his not having a good job when he kept her at home without paying her bride price for 8 years? He forgot about not having a good job when he got he pregnant twice and got two kids, it is now that his own flesh and blood want to assist him that he suddenly remember he’s not gainfully employed, how will people know who’s footing the bill for the marriage? Na brain resetting slap you need.

Righteousness2:
Your Friend has been Fornicating for 8yrs and has 2 kids. His brother wants to deliver him from the Bondage of Fornication. Yet your Friend is forming big boy.
Tell your Friend to repair the altar of his life. Tell your Friend to humble himself and do the right thing which is to go marry that lady legally.
Op , If you are the Friend, humble yourself and repair your altar.

Pastor wayre.

Jovialjune1:
Some women don't value themselves, living with a man when he hasn't done the needful, and having kids in the process

Shame.

what is the meaning of babby mama?

Klass99:



Gaby Gaby, chop knuckle.



I don't get it either! Like what drives them to such situations?

3 simple reasons
1. Her parents are not financially buoyant and are both based in d village while she is here in lagos with nobody to monitor her.
2. She is not working or doing anything to bring in some income and is likely depending on the guy to survive
3. Her parents could b probably be dead

Righteousness2:
Your Friend has been Fornicating for 8yrs and has 2 kids. His brother wants to deliver him from the Bondage of Fornication. Yet your Friend is forming big boy.
Tell your Friend to repair the altar of his life. Tell your Friend to humble himself and do the right thing which is to go marry that lady legally.
Op , If you are the Friend, humble yourself and repair your altar.

Your head dey there pastor righteousness. You are on point

Kobojunkie:
My advice is that you talk the couple into getting their marriage registered in the courts at least so that the children can have their names officially registered as belonging to their union.

Nice one but he should hurriedly pay that bride price quickly if he knows what is good for him. Not praying for bad thing o, but my elder brother whose supposed (wife) died and they were not married, just cohabiting together, went through hell to get her buried. She unfortunately died with pregnancy trying to give birth again.

Na that time you go know the kind yeye African culture some Nigerian tribes get, Not only was he mandated to pay the bride price of the corpse before she could be buried ,
He also slept in the same room with the dead corpse for one night only.
It wasn't an easy time at all , but he fulfilled all the obligations and she was finally laid to rest.(obituary poster bearing Mrs).
Big bro was very traumatised by the event.Death normally for married couples is the official time to be free of each other as there is no marriage in heaven. But that was the time Big bro, was getting joined to a corpse.lmagine getting married for the first time and his bride was a dead body . omo It's not something one would wish on his worst enemy.

Not bad, but try pay for the bride price

He wanna be a shareholder in your wife's company.

Gloriagee:
Are you sure it's your friend? Cos it sounds like you

your aproko too much.. at ur age?

EcoLaw:
Good evening Nairalanders, a friend of mine came to me for an advise.

My friend is in his late 30s, he has been in a relationship with his woman, they have been together for a period of 8 years, and they have 2 kids together.

This my friend has a younger brother, the younger brother told him that they should go and collect traditional marriage list from his woman family, so that traditional marriage can take place by December.

My friend worry is that, one, he is not financially capable to do traditional marriage rite as of now and secondly, he doesn't have a good paying job now.

Another of his worry is that, he feels it shameful for his younger brother to sponsor his wedding, he is afraid won't he be insulted in the future by people, that he can't not pay his wife bride price, that it was somebody that married his wife for him. His brother told him not to worry about the financial responsibilities, that God will take control.

My advice for him was that he should tell his brother to give him the money to go start
a business, maybe when the business balances, he can go and do the marriage rite. But his brother told him that the lady has tired for waiting for 8 years, that they should do the traditional marriage first, every other thing shall fall in place. This his brother has been supportive to him.

Nairalanders please what's you take on this?

if they've been staying together for eight years and have produced two kids along the way, what else are they waiting for ? He should collect the list and make sure that particular aspect of bride price at least should come from his pocket. Any other thing should be termed as assistance

EcoLaw:
Good evening Nairalanders, a friend of mine came to me for an advise.

My friend is in his late 30s, he has been in a relationship with his woman, they have been together for a period of 8 years, and they have 2 kids together.

This my friend has a younger brother, the younger brother told him that they should go and collect traditional marriage list from his woman family, so that traditional marriage can take place by December.

My friend worry is that, one, he is not financially capable to do traditional marriage rite as of now and secondly, he doesn't have a good paying job now.

Another of his worry is that, he feels it shameful for his younger brother to sponsor his wedding, he is afraid won't he be insulted in the future by people, that he can't not pay his wife bride price, that it was somebody that married his wife for him. His brother told him not to worry about the financial responsibilities, that God will take control.

My advice for him was that he should tell his brother to give him the money to go start
a business, maybe when the business balances, he can go and do the marriage rite. But his brother told him that the lady has tired for waiting for 8 years, that they should do the traditional marriage first, every other thing shall fall in place. This his brother has been supportive to him.

Nairalanders please what's you take on this?

You are a highly irresponsible person and a very stupid one.

thatigboman1:
there are 2 children already

Then he is free to accept the money

Sorry about your ignorance. Do you know my age... anyway, run along and keep being the naughty boy you are

Nawttiboi007:
your aproko too much.. at ur age?

Where is the problem?

EcoLaw:
Good evening Nairalanders, a friend of mine came to me for an advise.

My friend is in his late 30s, he has been in a relationship with his woman, they have been together for a period of 8 years, and they have 2 kids together.

This my friend has a younger brother, the younger brother told him that they should go and collect traditional marriage list from his woman family, so that traditional marriage can take place by December.

My friend worry is that, one, he is not financially capable to do traditional marriage rite as of now and secondly, he doesn't have a good paying job now.

Another of his worry is that, he feels it shameful for his younger brother to sponsor his wedding, he is afraid won't he be insulted in the future by people, that he can't not pay his wife bride price, that it was somebody that married his wife for him. His brother told him not to worry about the financial responsibilities, that God will take control.

My advice for him was that he should tell his brother to give him the money to go start
a business, maybe when the business balances, he can go and do the marriage rite. But his brother told him that the lady has tired for waiting for 8 years, that they should do the traditional marriage first, every other thing shall fall in place. This his brother has been supportive to him.

Nairalanders please what's you take on this?

Tell your friend to do the needful and swallow his pride.

Fit be the reason he never get money Na cos of the life e dey live.

Once he do the needful with the girl. E go surprise how life go sweet.

EcoLaw
I have asked my younger ones for assistance in the past and they've been there for me. I have also been there for them.

Righteousness2:
Your Friend has been Fornicating for 8yrs and has 2 kids. His brother wants to deliver him from the Bondage of Fornication. Yet your Friend is forming big boy.
Tell your Friend to repair the altar of his life. Tell your Friend to humble himself and do the right thing which is to go marry that lady legally.
OpT , If you are the Friend, humble yourself and repair your altar.

OK I agree it's fornication, what of if he chooses to get married in a court, is it still fornication? I mean as in a local government with certificate?

Op you are the person. Stop be bold and open up else I wont advice you

EcoLaw:
Good evening Nairalanders, a friend of mine came to me for an advise.

My friend is in his late 30s, he has been in a relationship with his woman, they have been together for a period of 8 years, and they have 2 kids together.

This my friend has a younger brother, the younger brother told him that they should go and collect traditional marriage list from his woman family, so that traditional marriage can take place by December.

My friend worry is that, one, he is not financially capable to do traditional marriage rite as of now and secondly, he doesn't have a good paying job now.

Another of his worry is that, he feels it shameful for his younger brother to sponsor his wedding, he is afraid won't he be insulted in the future by people, that he can't not pay his wife bride price, that it was somebody that married his wife for him. His brother told him not to worry about the financial responsibilities, that God will take control.

My advice for him was that he should tell his brother to give him the money to go start
a business, maybe when the business balances, he can go and do the marriage rite. But his brother told him that the lady has tired for waiting for 8 years, that they should do the traditional marriage first, every other thing shall fall in place. This his brother has been supportive to him.

Nairalanders please what's you take on this?

don't accept oooooo..

What’s the problem here !
From times past where is it written that only older brother must be financially stable.
Go and prostate and get the money before he decides to inject it in a new project.
If you are too steeped in tradition - consider it a loan and set money aside to pay back.
Although, in hindsight since you both have been living together and have 2 kids !
What’s with the traditional marriage, is someone chasing you ?

Hope you have a way of wiping the brain of the child to prevent seeking out the rightful father in adulthood..... You are all just relieving the sperm donor of his child training responsibility

thatigboman1:
this one u are speaking is grammar. Common law ke?
In my hometown, any child born out of wedlock belongs to the woman's family. Even if u come and marry her properly later, the children given birth to after the marriage will belong to the couple but the prior own belongs to the woman's family.
That's our tradition. We don't have any business with DNA. U don't marry our daughter, any child she has as a single parent belongs to us.

Which is a lesser wrong? Cohabiting illegally with a woman who is not your wife, and bearing offspring in the process or humbling yourself to accept help from your younger brother to do the needful?

If for any reason you believe your situation will turn around because of some ongoing project or plan which will crystallize into something tangible you may hold off accepting help from your brother.
But if you are waking up everyday, merely hoping that something good will come without any conscious plans about your life, those 8 years will soon become 16 and nothing will change. This alone is enough to cause you to worry.
Accept help from your brother to at least right one wrong, after all he is your flesh and blood.

After your marriage make sure you get your life to back together enough to become proud of yourself. In this way, your brother may never look down on you in the future, if you make yourself enough money to even repay him back at any time.

The brother should give him the money to start business Wedding is just a few hours ceremony