If you were born in a polygamous family or raised by a single parent, come in here let's share our experience with one another.



I was born in a polygamous home. My mum was the second wife and I'm her only child. My dad divorced her when I was 3-yr-old and it wasn't easy raising me.




If you are from a polygamous family or you were raised by a single parent, come in here let's rub our minds together and learn from one another.


Let's begin!!!!!!!

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Thank you sir/ma

The only thing i can say is that i hate polygamous family with passion. It messed up my mental health since childhood. There is no joy in it though it may be different for others. I craved the love of a father like kilode. Whenever i see People sweet relationship with their father, i am always jealous. Always wishing i had that.

Sweetness4:
The only thing i can say is that i hate polygamous family with passion. It messed up my mental health since childhood. There is no joy in it though it may be different for others. I craved the love of a father like kilode. Whenever i see People sweet relationship with their father, i am always jealous. Always wishing i had that.

We experienced the same thing. I never enjoy fatherly love and the worst part of it is that my half-siblings sideline me and I don't have a sibling born by my mother. I crave for these two things.

..

Klass99:
Interesting thread Victor, following for real life experiences.

In all my years of living I've never heard one good story about polygamy, yet we have men on this site who agitate for it like crazy. I want to believe the agitation usually ends here and never goes further than nairaland.

I think I know the answer already but indulge me, having lived through it would you advise anyone to take that route? Would you do it yourself? Sweetness4 please feel free to answer the question too.

Like i said i hate it with passion and i wouldn't advise anyone to take that route.

Klass99:
Interesting thread Victor, following for real life experiences.

In all my years of living I've never heard one good story about polygamy, yet we have men on this site who agitate for it like crazy. I want to believe the agitation usually ends here and never goes further than nairaland.

I think I know the answer already but indulge me, having lived through it would you advise anyone to take that route? Would you do it yourself? Sweetness4 please feel free to answer the question too.

Ms Klass thank you for keeping this thread alive.


Polygamy is a disaster, no wonder Americans outlawed it. I would advise anyone going for polygamy not to. It's too bad! In my own opinion, Polygamy should be outlawed in Nigeria. Are you from a polygamous home?

...

VictorUSA:
If you were born in a polygamous family or raised by a single parent, come in here let's share our experience with one another.



I was born in a polygamous home. My mum was the second wife and I'm her only child. My dad divorced her when I was 3-yr-old and it wasn't easy raising me.




If you are from a polygamous family or you were raised by a single parent, come in here let's rub our minds together and learn from one another.


Let's begin!!!!!!!

Present.

Polygamous home is not it at all at all.

This is despite the fact that we all never even lived together.

Also the drama I witnessed from the polygamous family of our landlord was very traumatizing.

Too much drama, envy, battles (physical and spiritual)

But when you say these things people think you are joking.

Klass99:


No, I'm not. But the topic interests because of a male friend who was also my classmate at Uni. The guy used to get visibly stressed whenever the issue came up, I first noticed it in our Sociology or Psychology 101 class when it was discussed in class.

He was quiet all through and this is someone who usually likes debates. He later revealed he had a traumatic growing up experience in a polygamous home which he doesn't like to think of, such discussions trigger bad memories and PTSD. Really nice guy o. Its terrible how parents mess up children's lives through polygamy.

Polygamy can destroy little kids. You can see how such a matured guy recalling the trauma he went thru as a result of polygamy.


In my own case, when I was still living with my dad and his first wife, they will jointly tie me up and flog the hell out of me. Upon that, they would deny me of food. If they are holding a crucial family they leave out of it. My dad finally sent me to my mum.

I will never pray what I went through for my enemy. Till today, the family is not balanced even the relationship among the children has broken down, we are just trying to patch it now.
Men who marry more than 1 wife don't know the implications of what they are doing now, you may seem to be in control now but the ending is never palatable.
Most times, even the man will bear the brunt in his old age. The women will eventually face their Children and leave the man to his fate.

NoToPile:


Present.

Polygamous home is not it at all at all.

This is despite the fact that we all never even lived together.

Also the drama I witnessed from the polygamous family of our landlord was very traumatizing.

Too much drama, envy, battles (physical and spiritual)

But when you say these things people think you are joking.

You neil it. I don't want to go the spiritual way but as you mention it, let me share what happened to me:



When I was 14 (2017), I was seriously struck down. Hospital rejected me that it was home issue and that my mother should take me back to talk it over. My mother took me to baba lawo and he removed neil, a stone and two other things from my body. He said if my dreadlocks are not cut, I will not survive the attack from my step-mom side. My Pastor rejected that.



So many stories you can't believe. Polygamy is indeed terrible.

ADUKKY:
I will never pray what I went through for my enemy. Till today, the family is not balanced even the relationship among the children has broken down, we are just trying to patch it now.
Men who marry more than 1 wife don't know the implications of what they are doing now, you may seem to be in control now but the ending is never palatable.
Most times, even the man will bear the brunt in his old age. The women will eventually face their Children and leave the man to his fate.

The family can never be balanced or united. Each woman and her children tries to dominate. The father's preferential treatment is another key player. If you are at the negative side of the bias treatment, sorry, it's better you wouldn't have been born.

..

I don't know if when a father divorces one wife and marries another, it can be considered a polygamous home too, especially when children from other wives stay with the latest wife.


My father's first two marriages crashed (including marriage to my mom), he-marries and I actually enjoy my stay with the last wife

Nothing much to complain about as my dad seems very smart in handling family's disputes, we are also young when we stayed with him so we ain't grown enough to forment reasonable trouble

The only issue is there are too many children (9), that my father is paying school fees almost throughout his adult life, imagine a retired teacher still having kid in primary school and two in university, this is after training others during his working days

Klass99:


Na wao.........what's your relationship with your father and step mom like today?

We never got so close with my dad..infact i and my dad never hugged/embraced each other. We had a hard time with each other. He has never called me on phone till his death early this year.


My step-mom sees me as a bad guy and i never did anything good to her (her perception of me). 2 days ago was the first time she smiled at me for the first time since I was born.

Not from a polygamous home but my grandfather was polygamous.married 3 wives. I saw the hatred between his children and i don't know why it's like that. Sometimes, when he's been called for family meeting in the village, he will find excuses not to attend and if we ask him why,he tell us, he's covering his head from some troublemakers.


And am not claiming my father was a saint.abeg.
May his soul rest in peace.

oluwaseyi0:
I don't know if when a father divorces one wife and marries another, it can be considered a polygamous home too, especially when children from other wives stay with the latest wife.


My father's first two marriages crashed (including marriage to my mom), he-marries and I actually enjoy my stay with the last wife

Nothing much to complain about as my dad seems very smart in handling family's disputes, we are also young when we stayed with him so we ain't grown enough to forment reasonable trouble

The only issue is there are too many children (9), that my father is paying school fees almost throughout his adult life, imagine a retired teacher still having kid in primary school and two in university, this is after training others during his working days

You are so lucky that you got a ste-mom with human heart.


I'm jealous of you

Allison012:
Not from a polygamous home but my grandfather was polygamous.married 3 wives. I saw the hatred between his children and i don't know why it's like that. Sometimes, when he's been called for family meeting in the village, he will find excuses not to attend and if we ask him why,he tell us, he's covering his head from some troublemakers.


And am not claiming my father was a saint.abeg.
May his soul rest in peace.

Nuclear family is golden. Just imagine a MAN running away from family meeting because of polygamy wahala.

VictorUSA:
The family can never be balanced or united. Each woman and her children tries to dominate. The father's preferential treatment is another key player. If you are at the negative side of the bias treatment, sorry, it's better you wouldn't have been born.

No be lie, you will wish you were not born. I remember growing up, I was mandated to wash my father's car every morning even as young girl, only for the car to be used to take my stepmom and her people to church while myself, my sister and mom trek to church.
The tales are too much to mention.

Sweetness4:


Like i said i hate it with passion and i wouldn't advise anyone to take that route.

Sweetness were you raised by a single parent?

..

ADUKKY:


No be lie, you will wish you were not born. I remember growing up, I was mandated to wash my father's car every morning even as young girl, only for the car to be used to take my stepmom and her people to church while myself, my sister and mom trek to church.
The tales are too much to mention.

Can you imagine?

We live below the poverty level o my sister. My dad had a bicycle and my step-bros can ride it but if i go close to it, kain slap i would receive no get definition.

@Momma sent me to pick up something, na there my step-mom sun teeth.

VictorUSA:
We experienced the same thing. I never enjoy fatherly love and the worst part of it is that my half-siblings sideline me and I don't have a sibling born by my mother. I crave for these two things.

SO bad bro. Me, i enjoyed fatherly love wella.when i was a kid, sometimes, he will say oya, Alli go and bring that bag let us go to the market as small pikin na, naso i go dey happy but when i grew up, if he says, find bag let us go the market, i will be like, "which kind thing be this, ahbi na small pikin i be". give me money make i go or you find person follow body. I really enjoyed following him to the market.because, i must chop gala and youghurt in the market. But Omoor, anytime we do something wrong and he start beating us, we will be like "you sure say na this man born us".

Allison012:
SO bad bro. Me, i enjoyed fatherly love wella.when i was a kid, sometimes, he will say oya, Alli go and bring that bag let us go to the market as small pikin na, naso i go dey happy but when i grew up, if he says, find bag let us go the market, i will be like, "which kind thing be this, ahbi na small pikin i be". give me money make i go or you find person follow body. I really enjoyed following him to the market.because, i must chop gala and youghurt in the market. But Omoor, anytime we do something wrong and he start beating us, we will be like "you sure say na this man born us".

I can't even remember if I ever walked with my dad to the market. He goes to the market with his male children from the market. It was only twice that my dad bought me christmas chlothes: when i was 4 and 5. Since I turned 6, he comot him hand for my matter and focused on my half-siblings.

VictorUSA:
If you were born in a polygamous family or raised by a single parent, come in here let's share our experience with one another.



I was born in a polygamous home. My mum was the second wife and I'm her only child. My dad divorced her when I was 3-yr-old and it wasn't easy raising me.




If you are from a polygamous family or you were raised by a single parent, come in here let's rub our minds together and learn from one another.


Let's begin!!!!!!!

No wonder you think from your anus and advance the annihilation of Wike and the Igbos