Is this for real?

Africa to send troops, food parcels to UK as riots spread
ETHIOPIA. The African Union today adopted a unilateral resolution to deploy army troops and care packages to England as looting and violence spread from London to other major cities. Spokesperson Charity Khumalo said “We can no longer stand by while these savages tear themselves apart.”

The AU, meeting today in an emergency session to discuss the ongoing rioting in the UK, has declared that they will do “everything in their power to help bring civilisation to England”.

“It’s just so sad, you know?” said Khumalo, speaking from the organisation’s HQ in Addis Ababa. “Sitting here and watching them on TV while their society implodes. We cannot in good conscience remain idle and let it happen.”

The AU has announced a range of initiatives that Africans can get involved with to help alleviate the misery of the English.

“For instance, we have launched an ‘Adopt an English child’ programme,” Khumalo explained, showing journalists brochures featuring the faces of English kids. “If you donate a mere R50 a month, you can see to it that sweet little Johnny from Peckham receives a basic education, a pack of condoms and a pair of pimpin’ Nikes.”

Khumalo also said that the AU would be parachuting in dentists along with army troops as part of a ‘Feel better about yourselves, Brits!’ initiative.

“You can understand why they’re turning on each other,” the spokesperson told journalists. “You look in the mirror and you see teeth untouched by modern dentistry. It’s heartbreaking enough to make anyone put a brick through a Starbucks.”

The organisation also plans to air-drop care packages on major UK cities.

“Vegetables, mainly,” Khumalo confirmed. “We’re sending them vegetables and toothpaste.”

The AU’s flagship event, however, will be a star-studded rock concert to be held in Johannesburg, with all proceeds going towards the establishment of mobile libraries around the UK. Artists ranging from Mafikizolo to Steve Hofmeyr have pledged to perform at the show.

“As a humanitarian, it’s the least I can do,” Hofmeyr said yesterday. “I look at those photos of the adorable little beasts knifing each other in fights over looted X-Boxes and I want to hug them and give them a nice hot cup of Milo.”

Meanwhile, the week’s events have seen terrified South Africans in London and Manchester packing their bags for home.

“This country is going to the dogs, dude,” said Werner du Preez, a gap-year student from Johannesburg. “I’ve been offered a nice little two-bedroom place in Hillbrow where I can feel safe again.”

source: http://www.hayibo.com/africa-to-send-troops-food-parcels-to-uk-as-riots-spread/

LOL

good one

This one is fun, where is the EU?

Abeg send those vegetables and toothpaste to Somalia and Maiduguri

auwal87:

Abeg send those vegetables and toothpaste to Somalia and Maiduguri

Spokesperson Charity Khumalo said “We can no longer stand by while these savages tear themselves apart.”

this one got me rollin'

Who would've thought that an African can say this about a so called first world country.

Where is Naija MOPOL ? Only them go arrange those rioters with tear gas and live ammunitions.

hahaha

Non of the troops will return!

Spokesperson Charity Khumalo said “We can no longer stand by while these [b]savages [/b]tear themselves apart.”

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Vegetables, mainly,” Khumalo confirmed. “We’re sending them vegetables and toothpaste.”

rotfl @ TOOTHPASTE. Brits and their nasty dental.

@ tlops, hw do u mean? U mean they will get killed, or settle dia.

Cheiii lmaoooooo

the troops will beg British govt to house them in those brand new flats in UK,

tlops:

Non of the troops will return!

Good one haha

Good one OP. However Africa should start thinking like that. Not just waiting to be saved by the West. It is clear that the West is not as civilized as they claim. Let us also help save them from themselves.

houvest:

Good one OP. However Africa should start thinking like that. Not just waiting to be saved by the West. It is clear that the West is not as civilized as they claim. Let us also help save them from themselves.

Abeg what a joke and u believe that do you know even in these bad economy in the world British govt still collect over £1.8billion on tax a day just in London borough alone am not talking about common wealth countries like Australia etc that pay tax to UK government the country still generate billions of pounds a day they will never be like us even if they fight war for another 20 years,