I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. - Romance - Nairaland
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| I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by Amya(f): 2:41pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
I'm 25 years old and have been in a couple of relationships, all of which have ended terribly. The reason i think for this is i really don't know how to be a girlfriend. It's a really big problem, one which i hope to overcome very soon. There's this Guy i really like who wants to date me presently and i really don't want to make a mess of things and blow it as I've blown the rest. The problem isI like my space and don't like people too clingy. I like to do things by myself. I really don't need a guy around except for se.x, as i don't self service. I'm not the call type and i can go without my phone for a long while. If i don't have any feeling for a guy, he doesn't stand a chance, if the feeling i once have disappear, i disappear! I don't think i have ever been in the conventional boyfriend/girlfriend relationship except for once or twice and one of which the guy disagrees with me on that issue as you would read further down. Another problem i have is that i get bored easily, and if there's not enough drama, spontaneity and passion to sustain the relationship it drifts away without me even knowing. It's only once or twice I've had the conventional break-up, immediately any of my relationships loses steam, i'm out. Stay single for a really long time, see someone i really like and repeat the same cycle. The thing I'm not really young again and i hope to settle down in the nearest future, but if i can't keep a boyfriend, how can i keep a husband! BTW, what's the difference between having a 'thing' with someone and actually dating someone as a guy i dated for close to a year who i was so in love with then, and who's presently dating my friend told her that we are actually didn't date, but we just had a 'thing' for a while and i was simply delusional for claiming a non-existent relationship. To say i was flabbergasted would be the understatement of the year. By God, I'd sworn we were actually dating! It wasn't a secret, everyone knew . . .we broke up officially due to some problems that cropped up much later in the relationship. 3 Likes |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by Smilenw(f): 3:00pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
Amya: GBAM ! Glad you have realised it yourself and didn't want another person to point it out. Back to your topic, there are no guidelines for being a good girlfriend. Only a "boyfriend' can certify whether you are a good "girlfriend" or not. And the criteria of a gud 'girlfriend' varies from man to man. Hope you find somebody who is as spontaneous and fun loving as you are ! Reg the guy who claimed he just had a thing for you- I'd say he was just saving is face. He prolly couldn't admit to his current GF that he was dumped by her friend. 1 Like |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by tpia5: 3:01pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
The guy is obviously trying to curry favour with your friend. Didnt you say he's dating her. Unless there's more to the story. 1 Like |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by slap1(m): 3:01pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
I think you are better off being in the convent. |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by Arkhin(m): 3:03pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
You really don't need any help cos it's pointless trying to be what you are not,it will come out the same way. At 25 right? Don't worry you'll learn along the line how to accommodate the opposite sex, overlook his inadequacies, show him love and respect his feelings.I figure out you are kinda self-centered and care less about what the other party thinks. Experience is the best teacher. 1 Like |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by MMM2(m): 3:05pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
op and now u need a BF  |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by slap1(m): 3:07pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
On a more serious level, you've got to make some petty sacrifice. Free up your lifestyle, learn to share your space, and try to adjust some of the apparent snags you listed out. . . |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by Nayah(f): 3:07pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
First I'll give you an advise: don't focus on age ( the best way to increase your chance to choose the wrong one) Second: It's quite a good approach asking you good questions about what you want in the future Third: There's no guide for being a good girlfriend just be natural and someone will learn to love you as you are Conclusion, don't bother yourself with headaches, you're totally normal, just a step in your life you'll pass I'm sure easily  |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by Amya(f): 3:22pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
Nayah: That's what I've been telling myself for years! What if my personality is too standoffish and no one gets to love me the way i am. . . won't it be better i adjust a little more character-wise? |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by Nayah(f): 3:26pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
Amya, people don't change, they try to improve Amya is Amya and Amya should not have to change ( except if your arrogant or selfish) for anybody because nobody's perfect The more you'll seek to adjust your temper to have a man, the more you might be fake Be mature, but stay yourself trust me sister |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by coogar: 3:27pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
Amya: no need to be in a hurry. by the time you clock 30, you will learn by force how to be a girlfriend. i have met several chics like you and they learnt the hard way in their late late 20s. for now, just crack on and have your fill.  |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by claremont(m): 3:28pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
@OP: I don't quite get the meaning of "standoffish", does it mean the same thing as snobbish? If it does, then you may need to change some aspects of your character. It's much more easier changing yourself, than trying to make someone else adjust because of you. P.S: At 25 years old, age is honestly not your friend any more. Ignore the fast ticking time bomb at your own peril! |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by MrsChima(f): 3:28pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
Nayah: That's true. |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by Nayah(f): 3:29pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
Being in a hurry is the best way to probably waste your life! 25 is young sister trust me |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by MrsChima(f): 3:31pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
Granny always said becareful for what you asked for because you might not get rid of it. |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by nkem123(m): 3:36pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
if you don't know what you don't know you may never improve.but now you know what you don't know is a great step to improving your charisma,decorum,and courtesy. i am 28 and still don't have any girl in my life though as a man i know i can get it right anytime i want.not because of anything abnormal in my character but just lack of seriousness but i have learnt to,so you can actually make a change. |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by Amya(f): 4:11pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
M M M: yeah |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by HighChief4(m): 4:33pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
^^^Dont always be selfish in your relationships, try to see things from the other person's perspective. You have to be accomodating and tolerant for things to work out. Goodluck |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by Goldieluks: 4:42pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
B.S. |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by SAFO(m): 4:52pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
High Chief has a good point. Amaya, I don't think you'll realize what you're doing until you meet somebody with a similar attitude as yours. Only this time the roles will be reversed and you'll be on the receiving end of it. |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by kpolli(m): 4:53pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
Seems u have issues accommodating others in ur life. . . u like to be alone, that sucks |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by Amya(f): 6:26pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
Goldy darling!!! |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by Amya(f): 6:30pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
kpolli: What you say is true . . .I hope to change, but i don't how to. |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by Nobody: 6:49pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
Amya: Im exactly ur colleague in such kind a situation. Mine is even complicated cos i cant even stand any lady that menstruate, cant spend money on any lady thats not my wife/family, can stand ladies that sweat, etc some many things irritates me and my anger is worse than that of the devil. My advise just keep to ur self and later if God wants, u will find a BF or Husband. It pays to be alone sometimes  |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by Amya(f): 7:00pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
toba: The thing is, if i can't adjust now, how can i adjust later. I'm okay with the way my life is right now, but i have to think about the future too, right? |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by Nobody: 7:05pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
Forget future my dear. U are just 25. How old do u think i am? the future will cater for it self if u believe in God as i do |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by seedord247(m): 7:16pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
toba: @least if she get to 35. . . . that will be ok |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by 190smh: 7:18pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
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| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by kpolli(m): 7:57pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
Amya: Not really that hard. . . go into this relationship with an open mind, when u notice its about to get boring, do something spontaneous or odd. . . |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by BABE3: 8:23pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
Amya: Weren't you the chickala that had the Facebook-break up problem? Another Maga don mugu you, or na the same Facebook-guy you dey talk about? Nawa for people o-- Chei! See how y'all are talking asif she's 70. How won't most marraiges end in divorce?-- When people succumb to the fo[i]o[/i]lish pressure of the society to get married at an early age. At 25? Nawa! No wonder people just get married anyhow nowadays. Anything goes! Quite sad.Amya, you need to get your sh1t together. If your character is repulsive, then you need to change. If you're snobbish in nature, you need to start acting more friendly. It's for your own good, not anyone's. That being said, don't mind the society and their noise. Take your time. Don't rush nothing. Marry the one you can live with for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. Since you're the type that get bored easily, it's only advicable to wait FOR THE RIGHT ONE! If you don't, you're probably gonna end up cheating on him. Be open, and seek and you shall find. And if you can't find, don't inflict purnishment on yourself by settling for less. |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by Amya(f): 10:53pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
BABE!: The facebook issue with that dude is recent, the relationship i was talking about here happened 5 years ago. It ended because it was getting too serious and i didn't want to take it further than that even though i really liked the guy, but i was young and didn't want to get tied down that early. He was 30 and i was 20 I'm really not a bad person, and i never snob. I'm a friendly person, but i don't keep friends. I enjoy my own company better than anyone else's. I'm not really in any rush to get married or hook up with a guy, but i only hope not to mess things up when it finally does happen (whenever that happens). I look around and i see people in lovey dovey relationships all around me, and i just wonder why my own is different. |
| Re: I Really Don't Know How To Be A Girlfriend. by MMM2(m): 11:39pm On Aug 23, 2011 |
Amya: dont worry am already ur BF  |
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