This is going to be a long narration to pour out my mind very well, let me apologize for boring you with my story first.
I got married just about one and half years ago to a lady who has once had a child when she in her first year to a man who is now living in the usa with his family he is an expatriate and works in oil company. Obviously we didn't get to court that long before she get pregnant and I don't know either by principle or by desperation I just wanted her to keep the pregnancy despite that she do even threaten to terminate it whenever we had quarrels but I try to appease her not to do it and I think that sacrifice is one of the best I ever made in my life whenever I look into the eyes of my 6 months old child with his cuteness. I must mentioned she made it known to me before we finally agree to settle down that she has a kid and I don't think It really bothers me, I saw some potentials I do love in her and that's what matters to me but sometimes I feel we could be having conflict of interest on the long run as she is a Christian and I'm a Muslim but I still feel we can always talk about them which I actually practice doing and it works. However,it is her baby daddy that always send money for the upkeep of her daughter and of course she had made it clear to me initially as regard to that so I have always known I'm not responsible for it, and that keeps her and her baby daddy in constant communication every now and then especially whenever she needs something for her daugther, though I don't really have issues with it because I believe even the little communication they are having will soon fade away by the time she got a job as she has about 4 offers while we were courting then that I believe one will work out for her. Unfortunately none of the job work out. The point is years of depending on the baby daddy for the upkeep of her daughter is even making her to see him as a meal ticket as he is living up to his responsibility as far financial aspect is concern. I start to get worried at a certain point when the baby daddy call at odd hours sometimes 12 p.m or 1 a.m in the night.initially I let it pass because I feel like he is in the US probably that's the time he could call when he is free from work and due to the time difference they are in the evening time there. But one day I had to take it personal for her because my wife is even a kind of woman that is very jealous as well as she do peep through my phone and react aggressively whenever she sees a chat that indicate me flirting with a woman or a woman flirting with me. In the course of taking that habit of her baby daddy personal with her she noticed my attitude and wanted to know what's wrong so I had to tell her because I don't want her to start sneakily communicating with him because I know the password to her phone. At a certain point I choose to become vigilant so I started to peep through her phone secretly despite that I'm not a type of someone that does that infact for the few times I check her phone I just go straight to read her babydaddy messages with her. And some things I could deduce from those messages is this . 1. Her babydaddy likes to flirt with her 2. I feel sometimes she try to make money off her child upkeep why I said she see him as a meal ticket earlier.3 Sometimes she try to appease her babydaddy because she needed him to respond swiftly to the needs of her daugther
And I must say that during the course of our courtship, I realized the babydaddy would have love to have her as her Nigeria wife and he gave her so many incentive to influence that but she choose to be with me.
Her daughter don't live with us except on holidays.
I'm doing very well for myself as well , infact very comfortable enough as a man that's capable to settle down before I marry her....
Sometimes ago when we do have some serious quarrel she always utter some disgusting statement that I just let pass that it is women talk, and there was a time she threatened me that i don't give her money and I don't want her to ask outside and I was broke then her mom had to interfere and I told her mom point blank that I won't live by anybody's standard if it is 10 naira that I have it is that 10 naira we will manage. Sometimes I feel some of her disgusting statement would sound blackmailing like I don't like her daughter or because she is a Christian but the point is sometimes or let me say every now and then I feel threatened that am I married to a woman with two husbands and it's killing my vibes. And there is no way I could cut her off totally from communicating with her babydaddy without her giving the impression that I don't like her daughter. And for once the conflict of interest I think it doesn't matter is really giving me concern.
Just want to make this as short as possible.

Marrying a single mother is like marrying someone else wife. You cannot enjoy her so far her baby's daddy is alive.

My brother, how can you start a football match with 1-0 in her favor?

She will continue to hold on with the guy as her plan B, no be woman, even if she secure a good job she will still be asking money from her baby daddy.

If you will listen to me, go and get yourself a second wife as soon as possible because the big bang is around the corner already.

Another fake thread created by a pained Nairaland feminist.

I really understand you, reason i tell some of my close folks to always try to gauge things from the expected end, only then can they enjoy the ride...
The reality is you can't stop the communication now, especially when your wife sees the baby daddy as meal ticket.

Marrying single mothers is a serious issue.

I always advise guys to avoid single mothers like the plague.

VeryWickedGoat:
Another fake thread created by a pained Nairaland feminist.

What criteria did you use to arrive at that conclusion?

This one come in Heineken and cow leg pepper soup...my brother dey flex dey go, I swear nothing u fit do for now only time will tell

BluntTheApostle:
Marrying single mothers is a serious issue.

I always advise guys to avoid single mothers like the plague.

Marrying single fathers too. You don't want to marry single mothers but you want women to marry single fathers

faithfull18:

Marrying single fathers too. You don't want to marry single mothers but you want women to marry single fathers

First of all, the OP is about a single mother.

Second, research have shown that women are very much likely to carry emotional baggages about. It is much easier to marry a single father than a single mother.

Check online, and you will hardly find a book addressed to help men manage emotional baggages. They are all about women.

OP, in marriage, you need to learn to overlook some things. She is a single mother and it will be wrong to cut her off from her baby daddy. Thank God her ex is financially responsible for his daughter and the child doesn't stay with you except on break. You should be happy that no extra responsibility is on your shoulder.

I understand that you don't like how she's milking her ex but there's really nothing you can do about it. I believe it's because she doesn't have a good source of income. It's to look away and avoid been petty. You can discuss the call time with her or she ignores the call when he calls at odd hours. Also understand that US is about 7 hours behind our local time.

I don't know what to say about the different religion. You saw her before impregnating her. Just be the matured one in the marriage. Stop peeping into her phone because she does the same and learn to ignore some things.

Harmony22:
This is going to be a long narration to pour out my mind very well, let me apologize for boring you with my story first.
I got married just about one and half years ago to a lady who has once had a child when she in her first year to a man who is now living in the usa with his family he is an expatriate and works in oil company. Obviously we didn't get to court that long before she get pregnant and I don't know either by principle or by desperation I just wanted her to keep the pregnancy despite that she do even threaten to terminate it whenever we had quarrels but I try to appease her not to do it and I think that sacrifice is one of the best I ever made in my life whenever I look into the eyes of my 6 months old child with his cuteness. I must mentioned she made it known to me before we finally agree to settle down that she has a kid and I don't think It really bothers me, I saw some potentials I do love in her and that's what matters to me but sometimes I feel we could be having conflict of interest on the long run as she is a Christian and I'm a Muslim but I still feel we can always talk about them which I actually practice doing and it works. However,it is her baby daddy that always send money for the upkeep of her daughter and of course she had made it clear to me initially as regard to that so I have always known I'm not responsible for it, and that keeps her and her baby daddy in constant communication every now and then especially whenever she needs something for her daugther, though I don't really have issues with it because I believe even the little communication they are having will soon fade away by the time she got a job as she has about 4 offers while we were courting then that I believe one will work out for her. Unfortunately none of the job work out. The point is years of depending on the baby daddy for the upkeep of her daughter is even making her to see him as a meal ticket as he is living up to his responsibility as far financial aspect is concern. I start to get worried at a certain point when the baby daddy call at odd hours sometimes 12 p.m or 1 a.m in the night.initially I let it pass because I feel like he is in the US probably that's the time he could call when he is free from work and due to the time difference they are in the evening time there. But one day I had to take it personal for her because my wife is even a kind of woman that is very jealous as well as she do peep through my phone and react aggressively whenever she sees a chat that indicate me flirting with a woman or a woman flirting with me. In the course of taking that habit of her baby daddy personal with her she noticed my attitude and wanted to know what's wrong so I had to tell her because I don't want her to start sneakily communicating with him because I know the password to her phone. At a certain point I choose to become vigilant so I started to peep through her phone secretly despite that I'm not a type of someone that does that infact for the few times I check her phone I just go straight to read her babydaddy messages with her. And some things I could deduce from those messages is this . 1. Her babydaddy likes to flirt with her 2. I feel sometimes she try to make money off her child upkeep why I said she see him as a meal ticket earlier.3 Sometimes she try to appease her babydaddy because she needed him to respond swiftly to the needs of her daugther
And I must say that during the course of our courtship, I realized the babydaddy would have love to have her as her Nigeria wife and he gave her so many incentive to influence that but she choose to be with me.
Her daughter don't live with us except on holidays.
I'm doing very well for myself as well , infact very comfortable enough as a man that's capable to settle down before I marry her....
Sometimes ago when we do have some serious quarrel she always utter some disgusting statement that I just let pass that it is women talk, and there was a time she threatened me that i don't give her money and I don't want her to ask outside and I was broke then her mom had to interfere and I told her mom point blank that I won't live by anybody's standard if it is 10 naira that I have it is that 10 naira we will manage. Sometimes I feel some of her disgusting statement would sound blackmailing like I don't like her daughter or because she is a Christian but the point is sometimes or let me say every now and then I feel threatened that am I married to a woman with two husbands and it's killing my vibes. And there is no way I could cut her off totally from communicating with her babydaddy without her giving the impression that I don't like her daughter. And for once the conflict of interest I think it doesn't matter is really giving me concern.
Just want to make this as short as possible.

u saw fire n u decided to enter it,sorry bro u have yourself to blame

U said u were comfortable before settling down n u still went for an after one?

U are a Muslim n still went for a Christian?
Didn’t u see other Muslim sisters u can marry?

U made d wrong choice n u will live with it

Just b sure that anytime d baby daddy is in Nigeria he will have a taste of your wife n under the pretense of baby daddy n baby mummy many things will happen especially if the guy marry a white woman n he knows he won’t bring her down here


U don already submit your self for polyandry

Shey you no do summarization for secondary school?

.

Even women without a child. Once there is still a trace of contact with her ex. Just forget it. Not to talk of the one sending her money and to add to it she had a child for him. It's a lifetime connection and nothing you can do.

You have to live with it or marry another Muslim wife and remove your mind from her to do whatever she likes.

How

Marrying a single mother with the baby daddy alive is just inviting headache for yourself.

sometimes you just have to trust your partner, let her know you don't like communication in odds hours.

@Richy4 made a valid post, it should take it.

stop worrying yourself unnecessary and show your wife love because jealous will destroy your marriage. If you have concerns, communicate it with her and face your front.