My mother is hardworking she has her good and bad characters.
The one that makes us clash is that she wants to control everyone and everything.
Including my junior sister's family
She tells her to challenge and fight with her husband if she don't agree with her.
My dad is a quiet man who dosent like drama
I still wonder how on earth the two of them got married.
It's even affecting me as I planned to come home for new year but my mom said I'm not welcomed because she is angry that my fiance is Yoruba. Can you imagine?
Because I choose him instead of someone else she wanted.
Now she no longer wants to talk to me
I can't even convince my dad
He is now her slave and has no say in the house.
How do confront this issue.
I still want to visit home, Should I still visit or forget about it?

FeliciaOja:
My mother is hardworking she has her good and bad characters.
The one that makes us clash is that she wants to control my junior sister's family
She tells her to challenge and fight with her husband if she don't agree with her.
My dad is a quiet man who dosent like drama
I still wonder how on earth the two of them got married.
It's even affecting me as I planned to come home for new year but my mom said I'm not welcomed because she is angry that my fiance is Yoruba. Can you imagine?
My dad is now her slave and has no say in the house.
How do confront this issue.
I still want to visit home, Should I still visit or forget about it?

I think the problem here is your dad. Why is he quiet??

tamunodxx:


I think the problem here is your dad. Why is he quiet??

I think he is old and can't handle my mum's drama. He wasn't like this before I left home.
Only God knows what has been happening since I left them in 2018. He just nod to everything she says even when she is,wrong. The thing just tire me

FeliciaOja:

I think he is old and can't handle my mum's drama. He wasn't like this before I left home.
Only God knows what has been happening since I left them in 2018. He just nod to everything she says even when she is,wrong. The thing just tire me

I want to be like your Dad. I will do everything to emulate him.

FeliciaOja:

I think he is old and can't handle my mum's drama. He wasn't like this before I left home.
Only God knows what has been happening since I left them in 2018. He just nod to everything she says even when she is,wrong. The thing just tire me

I still don't get why he is quiet and nodding. But I would advise you to call the attention of elders in the family if that doesn't settle it go to your pastor if that still doesn't work you need to pray because that will only mean you mum is something else. I have a very toxic mum too who doesn't accept anything I say, she always see wrong in me. I use to blame her like you do now but I just found out I am the problem, I tried understanding her and also make her understand me. I don't think any mother mean evil for their children.

tamunodxx:


I still don't get why he is quiet and nodding. But I would advise you to call the attention of elders in the family if that doesn't settle it go to your pastor if that still doesn't work you need to pray because that will only mean you mum is something else. I have a very toxic mum too who doesn't accept anything I say, she always see wrong in me. I use to blame her like you do now but I just found out I am the problem, I tried understanding her and also make her understand me. I don't think any mother mean evil for their children.

I'm not the problem, my mother is the problem
Why can't we Africans say the truth for once
We have good mother's and toxic mother's
No need for sugar coating it
Say the truth and shame the devil

FeliciaOja:

I'm not the problem, my mother is the problem
Why can't we Africans say the truth for once
We have good mother's and toxic mother's
No need for sugar coating it
Say the truth and shame the devil

Yea I did admit my mum is very toxic but that doesn't make her a bad woman. Like I said no mother will mean evil for any of her children. All you need now is to invite one your family elders since your dad is quiet. Honestly your dad is the major problem here.

From your responds you have already concluded your is bad, if you are asking for people's opinion you need to have an open mind so that you can accommodate other people's opinion. Your mum is a type that believes she knows all, she doesn't consider your knowledge because in her mind she is more experienced, more wise and more mature than you, also she may be the one providing for the family, you know majority of women like being in - charge if they are the source of family finances, so your father nods to whatever she says to keep the finances coming.
For you to conquer this you must be independent ( don't send her in terms of money), send her money when you have ( don't do that to please her but as a responsibility).
Again, always respond to her in love, because through your write-ups hatred is creeping in, pray for for understanding.........

I'd her only reason is your fiance is from Yoruba,then u think is petty ,go ahead and marry ,over the years she will seek forgiveness when her grandkids dey grow without knowing her.

FeliciaOja:

I think he is old and can't handle my mum's drama. He wasn't like this before I left home.
Only God knows what has been happening since I left them in 2018. He just nod to everything she says even when she is,wrong. The thing just tire me

I think your mum is probably the one bringing in the lion's share of the household income that's why she's like that

Everyone with is own problem!

No one has it all

Thank God mine is different


Forget about her jo

Kobicove:


I think your mum is probably the one bringing in the lion's share of the household income that's why she's like that

My dad has a successful pharmacy business
My mum is retired nurse, so it if it about money. My dad always brings the lion share.

Ballzproblem2:
I'd her only reason is your fiance is from Yoruba,then u think is petty ,go ahead and marry ,over the years she will seek forgiveness when her grandkids dey grow without knowing her.

She said that the man's family is danger and her pastor warned her that i shouldn't marry the Yoruba man, that his mother is an occult woman.
It pains,me that my mother will believe a fake pastor over her own daughter.
Anyway I have decided to visit home whether she likes it or not.
If she pursue me then so be it. But God is my witness that what she is doing is very wrong and manipulative it will backfire in her face one day.

FeliciaOja:
My mother is hardworking she has her good and bad characters.
The one that makes us clash is that she wants to control everyone and everything.
Including my junior sister's family
She tells her to challenge and fight with her husband if she don't agree with her.
My dad is a quiet man who dosent like drama
I still wonder how on earth the two of them got married.
It's even affecting me as I planned to come home for new year but my mom said I'm not welcomed because she is angry that my fiance is Yoruba. Can you imagine?
Because I choose him instead of someone else she wanted.
Now she no longer wants to talk to me
I can't even convince my dad
He is now her slave and has no say in the house.
How do confront this issue.
I still want to visit home, Should I still visit or forget about it?

Damn are you my sister? Because you just described my mum and dad.
There's nothing you can do really. She's already fully formed. You can't change her, and you can't change your dad too. Their dynamics has already been pretty much established.
All you can do now is do your thing in spite of her...
Godspeed.

You can still visit.
Call you uncles and aunts both from your fathers and mothers side. Tell them the problem. They will talk to your mum and she will calm down.