One of my best friends left the Netherlands, some years ago, and moved back to Nigeria. He now lives in Lagos with his fam. So whenever I visit Lagos, he likes to show me around. And high-end bars and restaurants are often the most popular places he takes me to.
His friends always like to tag along, and I often find that observing and asking them questions is always a good way to learn more about them, and life, in Nigeria. We're all in the same age bracket (late 20s and early 30s) and all of them, except me, are married and have kids.

In all the years I have visited my friend in Lagos, and hung out with him and his friends, one thing I can tell anyone, without any doubt, is that the average Nigerian has absolutely no regard for the institution of marriage, despite being super crazy about marriage and weddings.
While at bars or restaurants, these guys, who have wives and kids at home, are constantly chasing girls and women. And they do it so desperately and openly, that it often leaves you in awe.

One encounter that left me shocked, was when one of the guys kept touching the waitress's waist, and the poor lady kept reminding him that he was married, to which he replied, "And so?" And I was just there thinking, "the utter disregard for this same marriage they often act like it's such an accomplishment, the sexual assault, as well as the disrespect for their partners at home. What a tragedy!"

And it's not just my best friend's friends who shocked me. When you look around these bars and restaurants, they're mostly filled with cheating Nigerian men and women. Most of them, either married, or in relationships. Sitting there, eating and drinking, while their partners are either at home, or also out there somewhere, equally cheating on them.

I think the funniest thing that happened to me, was when my best friend's friends, tried to label me "irresponsible", because I am unmarried.
They said that marriage makes you "grow up". It makes you more "responsible". And that men who aren't married are neither grown nor responsible. I told him that apart from the fact that I am quite anti-marriage, cos of how patriarchal it is, I believe that, in comparison with ...
... all of them, I was the most responsible person sitting on that table. To be in a relationship with someone, means being responsible for their happiness, and one of the ways to ensure that, is to not cheat on them. My word is my bond. I do not cheat on my partners. Never!!

And it's super weird, and frankly, quite irritating, that men who so blatantly cheat on, and disrespects their wives, and the mothers of their kids, would have the nerve, to call me "irresponsible", because I am not married. I never stop thinking about it. The sheer audacity!
PS: I know how the average Nigerian lacks comprehension skills, as I can see from some of the weird replies and quotes, so let me add this:

This thread isn't a particular rebuke of Nigerian men. Whether Nigerian men cheat on their women, I honestly don't give a flying Bleep.
What I'm trying to share is that I don't understand how Nigerians would believe that those who aren't married are "irresponsible", but they who are all married up, have even no atom of respect for the very same institution of marriage they so pretend to "revere".

Nigerian men and women cheat on each other profusely. With the kinda determination that leaves you in shock. You can see it from the way the women commit paternity fraud left and right, and the men are all community dick left and right. Nigerian men and women deserve each other.
And because of all that, I think they have no right to shame people for not wanting to get married, or call anyone "irresponsible" for not being married. Nothing gives them the right or the moral high ground.

Oh, and my best friend knows how I feel about him and his friends. 🙂

Seun:
Written by Shaka Phillip-Jonson

https://twitter.com/beejonson/status/1615880886414614528

judedwriter:
A guy rent a single room and occasionally brings girls to sleep with.

I thought this guy was single until I saw him with his wife and son!!

Truly, the institution of marriage has been battered beyond measures....

Worst still, the fear of God is becoming extinct.

Seun:
Written by Shaka Phillip-Jonson

https://twitter.com/beejonson/status/1615880886414614528

abrahambest:
Well, this is no longer news. And to be honest, a lot of morals are no longer relevant as the dynamics of the world keep changing. In a couple of years, we'll see that marriage may no longer be necessary as people so much desire Freedom. Freedom to be whatever they want to be

DaddyFreeze2020:


Stop tagging a whole State in Nigeria for the misdeeds of 1 or 2 persons.

Klass99:
Nazgul, what did you delete?

Nazgul:

Very true. With how easy it is to gain access to a woman's body these days. I see marriage becoming irrelevant in the next 20 years.

People would just mate for pleasure and procreation. Love would be a forgotten word and cheating wouldn't be frowned upon any more cos commitment has be abolished, and no one would care what you do with your body.

Klass99:


Excuse you!!!

It is easier to gain sexual access to men, than it is with women. Majority of men have no moral compass or qualms with casual sex.

Most married men see single women as their private playground and it is shocking the lengths they are willing to go to, just to get laid.

Sex is the mumu button of most men, add great and explosive sex to it and you can pretty much use their destinies for rituals if you are a diabolical person.

Klass99:
Nazgul, what did you delete?



Thank you very much Gaby, I share the same sentiment. I am always in shock and awe at how fornicators and adulterers like to tear apart gay people, conveniently forgetting all of them join are sexually immoral people and no sin is greater or lesser than the other.

DaddyFreeze2020:


Stop tagging a whole State in Nigeria for the misdeeds of 1 or 2 persons.