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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? (2558 Views)
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Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by DaddyRochie1642: 9:19pm On Jan 21, 2023 |
obinna58: You're a wise man |
Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Nazgul: 9:27pm On Jan 21, 2023 |
Sixfeetbelle:So you'll leave your parents house and move in with guy who hasn't paid your bride price and be dragging roof space with his blood sister... Anyways I've always known that Nairaland's anonymous nature makes it very easy for people to catch cruise here. That's why I hardly take any comment here serious cos over 90% of opinions from females here on real life issues are always in favour of their gender. One can hardly have a neutral and unbiased communication with any female on this forum on relationship matters... 3 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by intruder15(m): 9:35pm On Jan 21, 2023 |
TheGoodAmerican: We are saying the same thing. The OP handled it how he should have handled it. An average lady will act how the OP girlfriend acted. Ladies don't like such infringement on their so called privacy in someone else home. It's just what it is. |
Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by DaddyRochie1642: 9:45pm On Jan 21, 2023 |
Demigod22: That brother of yours is a rare man. You no go understand this, please follow in his footsteps. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Coolzaddy: 10:34pm On Jan 21, 2023 |
OP first I'll like to know how old you are. If you are above 26, then she is right to an extent. Relationship between two adults need space and privacy. And when you let emotions control you and don't set boundaries in your relationship with your family, you can't set it in marriage because by then it will be too late, else you don't want to marry the girl. She saying your sister should get an apartment di not make her a bad person. Your sister living with you with a child doesn't make sense too. You need your space and your sister also needs hers. And it depends on the kind of house too. There are other things you can use to know a bad woman but this is not one. Forget what all these yeye red pillars are saying. If your sister is in her shoes, she will not also be comfortable with it. And stop making your sister believes he can always run to your house. Knowing she can always run to your house will even make her not to do the right thing in her relationship. And it all depends on the kind of girl involved. If she is a loyal woman that knows what she is doing in life, and have a life for herself, my guy you fit use your money rent house for your sister and build with your woman. Family members are always entitled especially the elderly ones. No use your sister life destroy your own life. Family is family, but there should be boundaries. For me, the family I know is the one I create. My wife, my children, and my parents. Everybody should take care of yourself. No be your fault say your sister go carry belle for man wey never marry her. No niaja girl go dey comfortable in this situation. Everyone need space. Why your eldest brother no help her? No matter what, Op you no fit marry your sister. Rent house for your sister, start your own life and concentrate. No time. Slime7: |
Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by obinnazy(m): 10:46pm On Jan 21, 2023 |
Slime7: Your sister is blood, your gf is just an outsider, she might even be cheating... There is nothing you do for your sister that is ever too much, better breakup with your gf, she hates your family 1 Like |
Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Nobody: 11:03pm On Jan 21, 2023 |
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Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by tushguyyo: 11:19pm On Jan 21, 2023 |
I was in this situation 5 years ago. I am married now with a child for 3 years happily. It is your sister that is manipulative. I'll explain; My elder sister after NYSC moved in with her boyfriend in Abuja. They stayed for 2 years together until I moved to Abuja too. Immediately I moved to Abuja my sister started having series of issues with her boyfriend until she moved into my house. I accepted her. This month, she will stay with the guy, the next month, she will be at mine. When I got to 28, I decided I wanted to start a relationship so I can settle down in a year of two. I met a girl I liked at my place of work and we started talking. The babe was everything I want in a woman. I am a guy that like spending enough time to know any banny wey I wan marry. I always ask my girlfriend to come around and spend weekend or 2 weeks. It happened that anytime my babe was around that is when my sister will have an issue with her boyfriend and run to my house. I was still staying in a room and parlour then. One certain time, I was inside my babe when my sister knocked that she was calling and I did not pick. I had to pull out sharp sharp. When the thing got too much and I was sure I wanted to wife my babe. I called a family meeting and told them that I want to marry and I will be needing my privacy. There is no way my elder sister will be living with me and my wife in the same house. It is not possible. My parents understood. Everyone put heads together and got her an apartment. That apartment was there wasting because my sister was still living with this same guy she is always running to my house for. After one year, my sister told everybody she doesn't want to stay in the house again that she is relocating to Ibadan, she moved in with her boyfriend and got pregnant. They are living happily now and the guy has called to marry her officially. Ever since she knew my house wasn't available anymore she started behaving herself and work her relationship out. Family is family, but we have our lives too and should set boundaries. Most family members are entitled and manipulative, especially the older ones. If you don't correct this now as a man, your sister go enter your house one day with her load even if you don marry and try to emotionally blackmail you. OP, if your babe is a good girl, decent, honest, loyal and dedicated, get an apartment for your sister. Or call family meeting for her head. If she planned her life well and lived rightly, she won't get pregnant out of wedlock. She won't make mistakes in her life and except you to take the consequences and stop your own life. Even your sister is happily married to a rich man, na once in 6 months you go dey hear from her. And if your sister is in the shoes of your banny she will feel the same way. In my 3 years in marriage, I have come to understand that nothing destroys a marriage faster than family members. Your eldest bro wey marry mind em business em no be mumu. He has a reason for that. Last last, your family na the one wey you bring come out. 95% of problems I have had in my life since I married is between my wife and I. Na we dey suffer, cry together, work hard together and pray together. Na when you marry, you go understand say family ends when we are children. 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Sixfeetbelle: 11:54pm On Jan 21, 2023 |
Nazgul: Na you know wetin you dey yarn as per wetin you conclude that's based on mere assumptions |
Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Slimbullet112: 11:34am On Jan 22, 2023 |
OP e be like say that your elder sister sef olosho dey her eye and she no get better character for relationship. 1. What made her break up with her boyfriend she was staying with in Lagos right before you came. You never mentioned the guy was violate to her or maltreated in anyway. For a guy to accommodate her and take her full bills simply mean that guy like her. And for her to still be with the guy after she moved in with you mean to say the guy no treat her badly when she dey with am for the house. 2. How will she just move in with a guy and was living with him when they are not married? That will make the guy not to even respect her and her family in the first place, else the guy just like her and the nigga dey very mature. Em only make sense if her parents don die. 3. Did she inform your eldest brother before coming to lagos or she just carry bag show for lagos with the entitlement say him go accept her. My first apartment na the cash I save for nysc I take rent am as at 2017. So sister no save for nysc abi she follow for nysc got babes. If to say she save small money no how wey she go tell your eldest brother say she get small money and make me complete am wey em no go help. 4. How come she met a man in 6 months and got pregnant for him immediately. Was she desperate. Some guys sef go deny the belle. Relationship wey never start you don go carry belle when you no be small pikin. 5. Your girlfriend is selfish and trying to protect her man and her relationship which is normal. OP, family is not only by blood again oh. The things wey my babe don do or sacrifice for me none of my siblings don do half. Sometimes sef 4 months me and my siblings never talk for phone. If you carry your problem meet them na so so story about how them just pay school fees for children how wife just born. If your babe na good person wey get sense dey loyal. Abeg help your sister make she find apartment commot make you too get chance build your own life. If your sister plan her life well she for no dey in this mess. You sister fit even dey jealous of your gf say she dey build good relationship with you when her own no work. Even though my babe get her own house sef me still dey ask her to come stay small with me. Even if na 1 week or 2 make I take see how she dey do things for house. |
Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by LoudlyMouthed: 3:56pm On Jan 22, 2023 |
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