Simply tell her to leave, that your family is coming over or you tell her to take her ungrateful, selfish, opportunistic, food consuming, lazy ass and leave your house.

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

It is actually easy to welcome people than quitting them,the moment you asked her to leave you becomes a bad person.
You have two options;
1)To ask her to leave (there is no polite way to do this),and be ready to be a bad person or,
2) Continue inconveniencing yourself to please her.
The choice is yours.

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

You’re pleasing her and displeasing yourself, I’ve done that and I will tell you with all assurances it won’t end well even if you decided not to tell her to leave now.
I have learnt my lesson not to displease myself by pleasing others.
People hate the truth but you have to bold up and tell her to leave, tell her you can’t accommodate her any longer, give her a time frame to leave. Forget the saying nobody knows tomorrow, na quote to exploit people.

Assign her responsibilities and share the bills since she's aware of your joblessness.

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

When you're truly ready to ship her away,you will remove polite from your dictionary and chase her away.
Someone that took you for granted and take advantage of your naivety.

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

You have to tell her point blank, on how jobless you are and have no money.

From the little money your sister sends you, you should started a business with it, no matter how little, even if it is a pos business.

Not necessarily you must work in an office or white-collar job.

Ask her what are her plans for a new apartment

Or tell her you found a new apartment down the road and the cost, she would understand the message perfectly. And stop cooking for her

With friends like that who needs enemies?

Op, get a backbone and kick that parasite out of your abode immediately, bleep trying to be nice and polite.

I saw your thread about being jobless since 2020. Stay strong and do some strong praying! 🙏

It sounds like you're in a tough situation and it's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. Here's my advice:

Have an honest conversation: It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your friend about the situation. Explain to her that while you were happy to help her out initially, the current arrangement is putting a strain on you financially and emotionally. Let her know that you need her to start looking for a place of her own as soon as possible.

Offer help: If you can, offer to help her find a new place to stay or even assist her with the moving process. This can show her that you still care about her and want to support her, even though you need to set boundaries.

Be respectful: When asking her to leave, it's important to be respectful and avoid blaming or accusing her. Focus on the reasons why you need her to leave and how it's affecting you. Be empathetic and understanding of her situation, but also firm in your decision.

Seek support: Don't forget to take care of yourself as well. This can be a difficult and emotional situation, so it's important to reach out to family and friends for support.

Remember, setting boundaries is a healthy and necessary part of any relationship. With the right approach, it's possible to handle this situation in a way that protects both you and your friend's feelings and preserves your relationship.

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

Please and please, tell her to leave. I hate it when people feel entitled. If you cannot tell her directly, tell someone to come over and stay, preferably your sister. Tell her someone needs to come and stay for a while and so she needs to leave

There's no way you'd send this kind of person away without being confrontational.
If you're not ready for that then you're not really ready to send her out.

Calibrator:
Nonsense mentality.... So OP is also allergic to making it in life?

Let's assume after she after she left, the next two days, luck came to her and she became rich within 7 days. Then the Op got to know about her.

What would be his next move?


Please be sincere, we are humans.

VeryWickedMan:
OP what you have there is a Nigeriannus Leecherous commonly known as the Nigerian Woman. They are known to suck the life of their host dry and leave them for dead before moving onto their next prey.

Unfortunately for you, they have no known remedy.

Well spoken!

Very simple, tell her you are traveling and you will need to lock the house..

If she complained of your plan to lock the house,then use that to let her know you she only requested for 2 months to stay.
By that action she will be notified of her over staying her welcome.
She might beg for an extra one month but at least she is notified with honor.

Clear her that at the moment you are jobless and also is she diabetic for going to the rest room 3-4 times in the night? Why won't she cook and keep the house clean? Are you a guy and she is serving you kunchas constantly? Be wise and do the needful

Wake her up early Saturday morning that your boyfriend is in town and will be coming to stay.

advanceDNA:


U sound like a nice person that dont like hurting pple's feelings....u better talk....pple are very wicked and dont care about ur niceness.....

U are not fvcking each other...so why are u allowing a fully parasitic relationship.....

Just spell it out for her....If u demand for contribution, inconsiderate pple like her will feel u want to exploit her cos she came to live with you..

Besides bear in mind that if she isnt in ur house u would have sorted ur challenge on ur own...so dont bother to ask her anything

Babe..come... i am sorry u have to come and be going......My brother/boyfriend/sister/ just got a job close by wants to move in with me....three of us cant be here....i am so sorry....

If you are like me....i am always on vawulence mode...
..oga ade... u said u will be here for two months.. i have helped u for 5 months...u cant call me wicked at this point....u have to leave in the next one week...

But if you say it this way, u lose the friendship. That's what she's avoiding

Jackipapa:
Wake her up early Saturday morning that your boyfriend is in town and will be coming to stay.

Not fair. U need to give her notice. Maybe a month or so

Skty:


But if you say it this way, u lose the friendship. That's what she's avoiding

Does that one look like a friend u will want to keep..... friend wey dey suck me dry when she see say i get problem.....that one na friend??

Stop buying food in the house!

sync:

I’m a female pls

Are you afraid to talk
What's the I'm telling her your mind

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

Wao!
You are currently jobless yet are still able to feed someone 4 times a day from what your sister gives you!Even employed people cannot afford to eat more than 2times a day these days because of the economic situation.
I see you as a miracle worker or your sister must be giving you something really big,otherwise I don't see any other way you do it,unless you have other sources of income you don't want to disclose.

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

And with this Buhari economy, having friends is very expensive. Before u know it, u are feeding them morning, afternoon and evening.

I don't have friends for now. I can't afford them visiting...we just chat on phone. My advice is that u tell her nicely that ur close relative is coming and u need her to hasten her accomodations issues.

Lemme share a brief experience with you.
This lady's house was demolished. Her friend talked to me and she came over and live with me. She's damn beautiful;you can only compare her and Lillian Bach of Nigeria Nollywood. After a week of her stay, I was almost suffocated to death with her dirtiness. She could sleep through Armageddon. Shes lousy and lazy. She stays from morning till night without bath. She was and is still jobless. She sucked me dry. I arranged a boyfriend for her and d guy dumbed her due to her misdemeanor. I got her a job twice (hotel & microfinance bank) she refused to take them seriously.
How did I discard her?
After three months of her stay, I told her that in 4wks time, I'd like her to leave. At exactly 4th week, I asked her to leave. She packed her stuffs, went to a hotel. Someone paid for a house for her. We're now friends. Her current bf respect me like hell. Take a decision like a grown-up.

advanceDNA:


Does that one look like a friend u will want to keep..... friend wey dey suck me dry when she see say i get problem.....that one na friend??

You are very correct. But sometimes life can change much later. What if the friend becomes the CBN governor, first lady of a State, a rich person to give her contracts in 30 yrs time? Never u burn ur cable? Or any cable...the future is pregnant

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

Tell her your family is coming to stay with you for a while and the house will be too small, assuming she de support financially and de do house chores I for suggest say make you help her, but in this case where she does nothing, kick her out by telling her your family is coming. She has an entitlement mentality and tomorrow she won't value the sacrifice you're making for her.

For a female to pack into your apartment and u must have been sleeping with her for d 5 months , she is just feeling entitlement mentality, d only thing u should do as a real
man is to politely talk to her ,even if u will contribute some money for her new apartment , please do or else she may end up staying with you permanently, and d longer she stays d more difficult for u to chase her out

ib22003:
It sounds like you're in a tough situation and it's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. Here's my advice:

Have an honest conversation: It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your friend about the situation. Explain to her that while you were happy to help her out initially, the current arrangement is putting a strain on you financially and emotionally. Let her know that you need her to start looking for a place of her own as soon as possible.

Offer help: If you can, offer to help her find a new place to stay or even assist her with the moving process. This can show her that you still care about her and want to support her, even though you need to set boundaries.

Be respectful: When asking her to leave, it's important to be respectful and avoid blaming or accusing her. Focus on the reasons why you need her to leave and how it's affecting you. Be empathetic and understanding of her situation, but also firm in your decision.

Seek support: Don't forget to take care of yourself as well. This can be a difficult and emotional situation, so it's important to reach out to family and friends for support.

Remember, setting boundaries is a healthy and necessary part of any relationship. With the right approach, it's possible to handle this situation in a way that protects both you and your friend's feelings and preserves your relationship.

Thank you so much for this
I’ll sure put this to use

Hire some "armed robbers" then travel to see your people. Tell them not to hurt her, but to take all her things and intimidate her. She wont return to your place again.