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How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by faithfull18(f): 8:17pm On Feb 13, 2023
advanceDNA:


U sound like a nice person that dont like hurting pple's feelings....u better talk....pple are very wicked and dont care about ur niceness.....

U are not fvcking each other...so why are u allowing a fully parasitic relationship.....

Just spell it out for her....If u demand for contribution, inconsiderate pple like her will feel u want to exploit her cos she came to live with you..

Besides bear in mind that if she isnt in ur house u would have sorted ur challenge on ur own...so dont bother to ask her anything

Babe..come... i am sorry u have to come and be going......My brother/boyfriend/sister/ just got a job close by wants to move in with me....three of us cant be here....i am so sorry....

If you are like me....i am always on vawulence mode...
..oga ade... u said u will be here for two months.. i have helped u for 5 months...u cant call me wicked at this point....u have to leave in the next one week...
Indeed, you that was begging someone not to be angry the other day and the OP is female, the person she accomodated is female 😏
Must it always be man and woman things, Omo the way the mind of the average Nigerian male is programmed, oga oh

OP, tell her you can't cope anymore, you are out of funds, you only planned to accommodate for just 2months etc. She might be offended oh but life will go on.

Or you keep asking her how far with her accomodation, if she has an iota of sense left, she will get the message she has overstayed her welcome.

4 Likes

Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by advanceDNA: 9:03pm On Feb 13, 2023
faithfull18:

Indeed, you that was begging someone not to be angry the other day and the OP is female, the person she accomodated is female 😏
Must it always be man and woman things, Omo the way the mind of the average Nigerian male is programmed, oga oh

Im not sure i get u....begging someone? Me Beg for what?? Please use the right english... if i notice i offend u...the civil thing thing to do is apologize.....

How is apologizing to a person if they feel insulted by my comment related to this thread? abi u just feel like running ur mouth??


And two....So what if op is female?? Dont females have sex with each other now?? If they are not having sex and she's not contributing ...why will she put up with the lady's parasitic behavior??
Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by faithfull18(f): 9:08pm On Feb 13, 2023
advanceDNA:


Im not sure i get u....begging someone? Me Beg for what?? Please use the right english... if i notice i offend u...the civil thing thing to do is apologize.....

How is apologizing to a person if they feel insulted by my comment related to this thread? abi u just feel like running ur mouth??


And two....So what if op is female?? Dont females have sex with each other now?? If they are not having sex and she's not contributing ...why will she put up with the lady's parasitic behavior??

Lol, it's me you want to use to display vawulence 🙄 I have a PhD.

Just admit you thought they were male and female in the story, no use trying to infuse things that weren't there☹️
Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by We4all: 9:15pm On Feb 13, 2023
Omoh! Why won't she contribute knowing that you are jobless? And even if you weren't, common sense should set in but she obviously lacks it.

My sister, don't allow anyone make u feel miserable in your house. Have a tete a tete with her and spell it out in clear terms that you are financially handicapped and can't afford to cater for her.

You need to be more outspoken and try to get rid of leeches. How can a full grown adult completely depend on another without batting an eyelid? Even if she were family, won't she share the bills? Stop being a ' Miss nice' and speak up. She won't kill you.

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by advanceDNA: 9:31pm On Feb 13, 2023
faithfull18:

Lol, it's me you want to use to display vawulence 🙄 I have a PHD.

Just admit you thought they were male and female in the story, no use trying to infuse things that weren't there☹️



First u accused me of begging....u left that and now accuse me of vawulence and i should admit to what i ddnt say??

Im not sure what u are driving at...but ...if u go back to that thread...The lady specifically mentioned she's female cos pple asked her b4 i made my comment... so i dont get what all these ur falacy is all about...
Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by faithfull18(f): 9:52pm On Feb 13, 2023
advanceDNA:

i am always on vawulence mode...
my first response was addressed to this
Oya rest, don't derail OP's thread.
Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by advanceDNA: 10:06pm On Feb 13, 2023
faithfull18:

Second response to this.

my first response was addressed to this


Oya rest, don't derail OP's thread.

Its like u are on ur period....this is the 3rd time u are desprately trying to tie my comment to what it isnt ...

Wetin be ur problem......what has being on vawulence when needed got to do with being civil when i need to be....

.. if u dont know what vawulence means, and the context i used it....stay the fvck away from my comment...

And it is you that needs to go and rest in the hole u crawled out from...
Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by faithfull18(f): 10:13pm On Feb 13, 2023
advanceDNA:


Its like u are on ur period....this is the 3rd time u are desprately trying to tie my comment to what it isnt ...

Wetin be ur problem......what has being on vawulence when needed got to do with being civil when i need to be....

.. if u dont know what vawulence means, and the context i used it....stay the fvck away from my comment...

And it is you that needs to go and rest in the hole u crawled out from...

Hanhan, learner😌

Who let the dogs out

Don't rest, keep ranting🌚
Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by advanceDNA: 10:23pm On Feb 13, 2023
faithfull18:

Hanhan, learner😌

Who let the dogs out

Don't rest, keep ranting🌚


There is something obviously wrong with you..
U jumped on my comment like a rabid jackal accusing me of all sorts... u are now trying to form civil telling me to rest... orí e tì dárú...
Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by faithfull18(f): 10:35pm On Feb 13, 2023
advanceDNA:



There is something obviously wrong with you..
U jumped on my comment like a rabid jackal accusing me of all sorts... u are now trying to form civil telling me to rest... orí mi tì dárú..
Lol, see painment
Forming what🙄 ❌❌ vawulence begets vawulence
Uncle, e get ara yin
@bolded that's right👌
You can now talk to my hands✋🏽 I am done replying you.
Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by LofP(m): 10:38pm On Feb 13, 2023
You are a very nice person and she's taking advantage of your kindness. She has a job and she's using your home to build up her finances. Tell her you are fed up with her staying with you.

She's not contributing anything and she's eating your food while you don't have a job? She's heartless. You have to firmly tell her to move out within a period of time, or let her know her things will be outside when the time elapses.

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by Angrygoat: 12:07am On Feb 14, 2023
U r a male. Idiot
Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by Klass99(f): 12:52am On Feb 14, 2023
smiley

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by Richy4(m): 5:29am On Feb 14, 2023
We4all:
Omoh! Why won't she contribute knowing that you are jobless? And even if you weren't, common sense should set in but she obviously lacks it.
.
<<Did you just ask why can't she contribute? U know how some people behave...She haven't completed her goal and mission for now,
<<she can't use her God given senses to vacate the place until she categorically states that OP is jealous of the fact that she's working... Tell me why someone that is freeloading will not clean? Or buy things... If she is living alone, will her fridge germinate foodstuffs? Will the house clean itself?

<< The Same character goes to lending money to some people... The mouth they used in borrowing is not always the one they used in payment..

I guess that's why people are making money by studying sociology and psychology.. human being are really complex

1 Like

Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by Michelle55: 6:38am On Feb 14, 2023
Currently in the same dilemma but I'm wise enough not to stock up anymore, I simply eat out thanks to the cashless policy😊. She no ment to come ask me for food and she respects my privacy by simply finding her square root in my sitting room, my bedroom is outta bound.

Told her, my kindness only extends from Jan to Feb, after which she should go. You can't leech on me and have peace of mind, not possible.

Clearly tell her that she should get a place by month end, that your mom is coming over. Some friendships are not worth keeping hon, know this and know peace.

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by sync(f): 7:55am On Feb 14, 2023
Angrygoat:
U r a male. Idiot
May God forgive you
Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by Autobot05: 8:25am On Feb 14, 2023
sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!


You should tell her the faults you've noticed in her ... if she doesn't accept you ask her to leave.

Your so called friend is a parasite btw next time mind the type of friends you permit in your life.
Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by pansophist(m): 9:40am On Feb 14, 2023
This is why I always emphasize that the 'order of sequence' of human virtue is to be cruel first, then good after, then it will be appreciated and you can handle situations like this. You are too nice and don't want to offend, but you'll suffer unnecessarily that way. You must be okay with being in people's bad books, as far as you are convinced you did the right thing. A sheep no matter how innocent will always be hated by a lion.

Give her a deadline to leave, and if she crossed it, kick her out. Tell her exactly what you will do, that if by next week she didn't leave, you will kick her out, and keep to your word. When her deadline is over and she didn't leaves, kick her out. So if she has an extra key, collect them and lock her out. Then if she wants to enter, give her her properties.

If she started begging that you should give her a few more days, pay for a nearby hotel for like three days for her. The hotel will do a nice job of chasing her away if she refuses to leave. Don't ever suffer for people's lack of integrity, reject it. Most importantly, prevention is better than cure. Next time when someone ask for a sleeping space, examing the realities of the situation. If they for example, cant make it back home and will continue their journey next day, of course you can host them.

But if they just relocated due to job, and dont have any place or know anyone, its common sense that you just have a new flatmate. Dont expect someone that will benefit from your benevolence to be truthful to you, since it acts against their interest. But to help, just pay for a hotel for like a week or how long you can afford, so you wont be a victim of their ploy. Hotels knows how to handle guest like that.

11 Likes

Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by BeauBragnar11: 10:46am On Feb 14, 2023
grin
Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by Light78: 10:46am On Feb 14, 2023
sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!


When she makes it in life, how do you politely ask her for forgiveness.

That should be the big question.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by GorillaApp(m): 10:47am On Feb 14, 2023
sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!
What the fvck did I just read? shocked


People dey this country sha!

I pray Neva to have a brother like this o

1 Like

Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by dmz1: 10:47am On Feb 14, 2023
sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day
[size=8pt][/size]
What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

grin grin grin grin
Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by Nobody: 10:47am On Feb 14, 2023
If your friend were appointed Special Adviser to a Governor in May where will your present conduct lead you? I've seen it happen before. Learn to endure. You're complaining because you believe that your friend is lowly. Remember that Nairalanders will not be around when God turns your friend's night to day. Forbear, Ma'am, forbear!
Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by benqo01(m): 10:48am On Feb 14, 2023
sync:


I’m a female

IF IURE A FEMAIL JUST TELL HER TO LEAVE OMO IF SHE WAN VEX NA HER PALAVA SEE THINGS RE DIFFICULT THESE TIME EXTRA MOUTH TO FEED NA MONI O
Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by bassdow: 10:49am On Feb 14, 2023
sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

I find it difficult understanding why people find it difficult using their mouth to speak when need be.

you either Tell her to contribute to the home or ask her to leave. no simpler way of putting it. Na una wey dey find best way to put mouth talk dem dey take advantage of.
Some people sha no get conscience. person wey no get work allow you stay for him place - even if you plan staying for just 2-days, it doesn't hurt making it worth the person's while. even if na to buy common purewater sef
Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by goldieloc97: 10:49am On Feb 14, 2023
OBidients are taking over everything.
Eniolaxoft52: With the seriousness of Obidients, they might just win the election

Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by Juanmike(m): 10:49am On Feb 14, 2023
What a SIMPle question to ask.
The girl I dated before Sandra my beloved.
I threw her things our of the window.
That's how I do. easily grow tired of girls.
Before you know it, I will start throwing things.
Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by Nobody: 10:50am On Feb 14, 2023
faithfull18:

Must it always be man and woman things, Omo the way the mind of the average Nigerian male is programmed, oga oh

Please enlighten me, how is the mind of an average Nigerian male programmed? 🤔

1 Like

Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by zelnababa(m): 10:52am On Feb 14, 2023
sync:

Thanks on your advice on the food part. Unfortunately I do not have a boyfriend at the moment n she knows that
you better find contract BF to execute the plan now

1 Like

Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by Nobody: 10:52am On Feb 14, 2023
sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

Let me buy you a drink.
Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by Ferdinandu(m): 10:52am On Feb 14, 2023
sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!
The obvious is that some characters are not good for close friendship. Someone who now has a job and you are now jobless and it didn't touch her heart to start contributing to the household expenses and you think that character will give a hoot when you desperately need her help tomorrow . Stand up and give that leech an ultimatum of one month to get back your peace. Learn to say no to any help that will disturb your peace even if the person becomes the President of Nigeria tomorrow you will still be OK without the person. That is confidence.

4 Likes

Re: How Do I Politely Ask Her To Leave by Calibrator: 10:53am On Feb 14, 2023
Nonsense mentality.... So OP is also allergic to making it in life?

Light78:


When she makes it in life, how do you politely ask her for forgiveness.
That should be the big question.

3 Likes

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