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Diplomatic

I have no doubt that every morning, the staff of the British High Commission in Nigeria wake up, peruse their newspapers, and heave huge sighs of relief. Another day has passed, and their offices haven't been bombed, burned down, invaded, etc.

They probably exchange "jolly goods" and any other nonsensical expressions when they arrive at work, and settle down for another day of doing what they perhaps enjoy more than anything else - looking for new and innovative ways to scam Nigerians.

For, make no mistake about it, a massive, massive scam is going on at the British High Commission, perpertrated through their UK Visa Applications Center.

Now, perhaps, we Nigerians are partly to blame, what with our apparent burning desire to visit their country and contribute our quota to its development at the expense of our own, and they can perhaps claim that in the mire of thousands of applications that pour in daily, legitimate persons get the bum's rush. But come the Bleep on!

Here's how the scam works - you pay your Visa Application fee, and are given a form to fill. The staff of the UK Visa Applications Center are remarkably helpful in letting you know what documents to submit in support of your application, depending on what type it is. You go off, get the required documents, ranging from Sponsors' Letters to Bank Statements, and submit them in support of your application. Then you settle down for a two-week waiting period (officially). At the end of two weeks, assuming you've done all they asked, they should grant your request, right? You'd be sooooooo wrong.

Over the past year, several people I know have applied for varying visas from the UK VAC. All of them have been denied. Perhaps, you say, all these people have wrongly filled in their information, or failed to provide vital documents, but that isn't so.

My good friend, who is now in the UK and contemplating a Ph.D, was denied a student visa on his first application on the ground that although he'd paid his school fees in full, he was not considered to have sufficient funds to pay for his Masters Programme! Huh? He paid the entire fee, submitted evidence of this fact, and yet was told he didn't have the funds to pay for a Masters programme, which he'd already done. It was only on his second application that the Visa was granted. Naturally, he had to pay another Visa Application Fee, and submitted the exact same documents, before he was granted his Visa.

Another friend was denied a student visa on the grounds that the tax clearance certificate submitted by him in support of his application was "fraudulently obtained". Mind, the tax clearance certificate in question wasn't his personally, but belonged to his father's company. In support of his student visa application, he submitted bank statements from 4 banks, each showing a healthy account balance, and corresponding history of high volume transactions. Apparently, not being able to deny him on financial grounds, they came up with "fraudulently obtained tax clearance certificate". The young man has now obtained a letter from the tax clearance comptroller verifying the certificate, and re-applied, paying another Visa Application fee. They'll probably grant this one.

Yet another person was denied a visiting visa on the grounds that he deposited money into his account "suspiciously close" to the time he paid his Visa Application fee. Naturally, they failed to provide a definition of "suspiciously close". So, while he had evidence of funds to finance his trip, he failed to provide evidence of their origin, and could not therefore be given a Visa. Nice, eh? So, if you were to come into a million naira contract after years of sweating it out, and slogging away, you should wait a few years to apply for a UK Visa, so as to avoid applying "suspiciously close" to when you were finally smiled upon by God for your years of hard work.

And finally, my personal favourite, and one that doesn't simply take the cake, but takes the entire fucking pastry industry. A young lady I know wished to visit the UK on holiday. She happens to hold a respectable job at a big bank, and she's worked there for a number of years. In her case, she was told that while she had submitted print outs showing places of interest to visit in the UK, she had failed to provide a "reason" for her trip, and then, the whopper - she was further informed that while she had shown evidence of financial status vis her ability to pay for her trip, the trip would consume her savings and was therefore not feasible!!! Since when did the UK VAC become a financial advice center? And is it not customary for people to save money for vacations? I've heard people give interviews on TV and say stuff like "I always wanted to visit Australia, so I've been saving up for the trip", or something along those lines. The lady has since decided to take a trip within Nigeria for her vacation, somewhere down south.

Now, when a man who was previously dirt poor becomes a Senator or Honorable, decides to take a trip to the UK and submits personal bank statements in support of his application, you'll never hear questions like "origin of funds?" or any other bull shit. They don't want to know whether he had N20,000 in his account a few days ago, and a sudden deposit of N200 million two days to his Application would not be considered "suspiciously close". Bleep no. The Visa would be granted with immediate alacrity so he can go shopping on Bond Street for fine new suits, and spend some of our hard earned currency in their land. Indeed, they'll probably give him directions to the most expensive shops. For such people the normal rules of rejection do not apply.

I say these people are extremely lucky they do not provide these shabby services to people who have short fuses, and I don't believe they would dare run such an ovbious scam even in Ghana!

But this is Nigeria, no? The land where anything goes, and usually does.

Na so-so India people dem put for British Embassy for Nigeria, and NOBODY for this world dey PREJUDICE, POMPOUS, CUNNING and CORRUPT like India people. Go see how as dem dey discriminate against dem own people for India, dem overpopulated, dirty country.

Caste System when dey operate for India mean say dem dey categorise them own people according to how dark or light dem skin dey. Dark India people no get ANY right for dem own country, and na only dirty work like street sweeper or dead body cremator dem dey let dark-skin India people do, and lai-lai dem nogo allow dark skin India person go mistake marry light skin India person.

If you see how India people take hate DEM OWN country people when take style black small, den you nogo surprise how as India people come take hate real black Africa man like say na bad snake dem take eye see.


Wettin me I know be say the person when from London come go decide say na ONLY India people dem go send to work for inside British Embassy for Nigeria, that person really HATE Nigeria no be small thing, and I pray say make slow sickness kill that person with him bad belle, together with the mad dog when born am. Amen.

Na so-so India people dem put for British Embassy for Nigeria, and NOBODY for this world dey PREJUDICE, POMPOUS, CUNNING and CORRUPT like India people.  Go see how as dem dey discriminate against dem own people for India, dem overpopulated, dirty country.

Caste System when dey operate for India mean say dem dey categorise them own people according to how dark or light dem skin dey.  Dark India people no get ANY right for dem own country, and na only dirty work like street sweeper or dead body cremator dem dey let dark-skin India people do, and lai-lai dem nogo allow dark skin India person go mistake marry light skin India person.

If you see how India people take hate DEM OWN country people when take style black small, den you nogo  surprise how as India people come take hate real black Africa man like say na bad snake dem take eye see.  


Wettin me I know be say the person when from London come go decide say na ONLY India people dem go send to work for inside British Embassy for Nigeria, that person really HATE Nigeria no be small thing, and I pray say make slow sickness kill that person with him bad belle, together with the mad dog when born am. Amen.

why do people go to Britain again?

What are people even looking for in Britain ? Nigerians no dey hear word

NOTHING DEY FOR UNITED KINGDOM !!!!!!!

Take this from one who has been there, spent time to work and school there and can easily go there if he so wished.
Nothing dey.

Their educational system is not so great either. Lots of theory and simple exams. Very little in real solid practicals
You want a Western Education, go to the Scandinavian Countries, US or Canada.
If you must go to Britain to study, stick with only the top 10 schools, even those ones get comma.

There are lots of opportunities in Nigeria. The days of going abroad or "akata" to make it are more or less over, at least for some of us. Just look around you and plunge in on something good and you will be surprised how much you can get out of Nigeria, legitimately.

Bone dem British Nation.Nothing dey for there !

All  whats in the post will augur to nothing,because  as we are being canabalised,scammed and deceived by those smelly brits thousands of Nigerians (me inclusive) are still longing for an opportunity to go there.This is a very very SAD SAD scenario,i hope God help us.

Hehehe. . . . . .British 419!!

funloving:

What are people even looking for in Britain ? Nigerians no dey hear word
NOTHING DEY FOR UNITED KINGDOM !!!!!!!
Take this from one who has been there, spent time to work and school there and can easily go there if he so wished.
Nothing dey.
Bone them British Nation.Nothing dey for there !

i live in the UK, and i really really support this statement above. there is nothing in the UK. the UK is good only for those nigerians who are not making it at home. i.e those who have no jobs etc.

if you have a good job in nigeria, it will be a fatal mistake to come to UK seeking greener pastures. you go hear whiii. this country is only good for education. (because their degrees are highly valued globally-which is politics anyway) after school b4 dem go give u work eh!!!!if at all them give you work.

one senior Dr in Nigeria won the HSMP to come to UK and for 2 yrs he could only get a job at NEXT as a cashier junior cashier and his boss is a high school drop out de guy don run go back naija

toshmann:

i live in the UK, and i really really support this statement above. there is nothing in the UK. the UK is good only for those nigerians who are not making it at home. i.e those who have no jobs etc.

if you have a good job in nigeria, it will be a fatal mistake to come to UK seeking greener pastures. you go hear whiii. this country is only good for education. (because their degrees are highly valued globally-which is politics anyway) after school before them go give u work eh!!!!if at all them give you work.

one senior Dr in Nigeria won the HSMP to come to UK and for 2 years he could only get a job at NEXT as a cashier junior cashier and his boss is a high school drop out de guy don run go back naija

Tosh I feel you. But when you advice your brother who is working in 9ja that coming here is not the best for him he will think you do not want him to make money. I have seen a Nigerian Engr and Doctor doing car wash in a busy car park in Kent. This is not a joke.

No be their fault! Na nigerians when no go stay their country!!
WHATS IN U.K?
THE ANNOYING COLD AND ALWAYS RAINING WEATHER?
THE COLD STARES FROM PEOPLE THERE?
THEIR CRAPPY FOOD?
WHAT IS IT THAT NIGERIANS JUST RUN THERE FOR?
POUNDS?
THAT NA STORY
NA THERE GOVERNOR ALAMS BLOW MAKE MONEY?
NA NAIJA MONEY DEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

toshmann:

i live in the UK, and i really really support this statement above. there is nothing in the UK. the UK is good only for those nigerians who are not making it at home. i.e those who have no jobs etc.

if you have a good job in nigeria, it will be a fatal mistake to come to UK seeking greener pastures. you go hear whiii.   this country is only good for education. (because their degrees are highly valued globally-which is politics anyway) after school b4 dem go give u work eh!!!!if at all them give you work.

one senior Dr in Nigeria won the HSMP to come to UK and for 2 yrs he could only get a job at NEXT as a cashier junior cashier and his boss is a high school drop out   de guy don run go back naija

absolute nonsense  - I live in the u.k and have a wonderful job even better than the so called oyinbos - I am able to support persons home and abroad ( All to the glory of God). No doubt it is hard is get jobs but looking for work requires dedication, skill and effort . The U.k is experience based society.  Hirers are more intrested  in where you worked last, experience and not a masters qualification with no experience.

Most people forget that the U.k is fast paced society where technologies changes so fast that a degree obtained last year is almost irrelevant the following year.

To survive - u need study trends. definitely some coming from Nigeria will struggle as our technologies are so outdated

If you have skills in medical field, I swear, Canada is your best chance to hit it fast. When I tell people say na mama de pay my tuition for Columbia University, they say I'm just trying to make their parents look bad . She is a Doctor born raised and trained in Nigeria gained experience before moving to North America. Nobody believes a Nigerian student paying triple the tuition is been funded by his mum. One guy went numb when I told her my mum is a cardiologist born, raised and trained in Nigeria and now making mad cash in Canada with experience gained from Nigeria. If you must leave what Nigeria has to offer, leave for something really better. What I don't understand is people planning to move to another country without any skill at hand or planning to go to school there. I'm sorry you might be stuck in the mud. The more experience you have the higher your pay and it's unlimited. UK doesn't really appreciate medical practitioners that much because they have alot of them and a backlog tooo but they pick the best when they see one fast fast. I know this because I'm Brit by constitution but 9ja by blood by fire hahaha. UK really isn't all that but please don't leave Nigeria empty handed in both education and skills then expect to start picking money on the streets of London. UK has high population of educated citizens that they can't find jobs for then you come from 9ja with nothing de expect the best job? abeggi!

toshmann:

i live in the UK, and i really really support this statement above. there is nothing in the UK. the UK is good only for those nigerians who are not making it at home. i.e those who have no jobs etc.

if you have a good job in nigeria, it will be a fatal mistake to come to UK seeking greener pastures. you go hear whiii. this country is only good for education. (because their degrees are highly valued globally-which is politics anyway) after school b4 dem go give u work eh!!!!if at all them give you work.

one senior Dr in Nigeria won the HSMP to come to UK and for 2 yrs he could only get a job at NEXT as a cashier junior cashier and his boss is a high school drop out de guy don run go back naija

This is ludicrous and absurd.
Where did you even get this information? lol i bet you have never even to India or proper india per se

blacksta:


absolute nonsense  - I live in the u.k and have a wonderful job even better than the so called oyinbos - I am able to support persons home and abroad ( All to the glory of God). No doubt it is hard is get jobs but looking for work requires dedication, skill and effort . The U.k is experience based society.  Hirers are more intrested  in where you worked last, experience and not a masters qualification with no experience.

Most people forget that the U.k is fast paced society where technologies changes so fast that a degree obtained last year is almost irrelevant the following year.

To survive - u need study trends. definitely some coming from Nigeria will struggle as our technologies are so outdated

Sorry that this response is coming 9yrs later , and im not in the UK anymore.

That you are making it doesnt mean that is the norm. Majority of naijans who go tp the UK end up with scrapy job way below their qualifications (even British Qualifications). And what makes matters worse is if your boss is a high school drop out.

Guy leave matter. If you have a great job in naija, no need to travel out o, unless for tourism and vacations.