I'm feeling you Jenny . . . Hmmm . . . I loved reading your pranks.

One thing we would never stop doing together is dancing (even when I was heavily pregnant) and watching movies. We love surfing the net together as well _{(and get to help him out with some letters in d process. Loves using me as his sece  . .  .)}

Then he loves parting my _butts  I play with his . . . .  in return.

well, I would love us to go to the cinemas more often but he is busy these days so we get to watch at home. We usually spend our sundays together.

We love sipping Irish Cream together with assorted meat and what have you. that part my hubby no they miss no matter how busy.

bizmogul:

Always hold and cuddle your woman in public places, most women enjoy these. Make your woman your sister and your man your brother, that is the best way to go about it. You can joke just about anything, laugh and have real fun. If you find out you are doing same things over and over again and it is getting boring, you can try new things, the internet is there to give you all the information you need. You can google "2011 best romantic ideas" I am sure you will get a lot from there. You can spank your woman on the Bottom and ask Who Is Your Daddy? You know crazy stuffs, give gifts; it is very important no matter how small. Pay attention to every single detail in your woman's life, Be Intimate in different location of the house, rinse the dishes while she washes, cuddle her while she is in the kitchen, a kiss on the neck would do. Play around with her in the kitchen, sprinkl water on her while she cooks. I no talk say make you bath am oh! Buy her new gstring pant, or bikini, make her your personal model,  Even if na orobo, engage yourselves in activities, attend programs together et al.

I must be the exception to this. If he wants us to quarrel, he should just try it. I don't mind holding hands but that is as much as i can take before the volcano erupts.

jennykadry:

A little hug and kiss when he comes back from work or wakes up in the morning is one thing that goes far in a relationship.

"I love you" they say is over rated but I don't think so. Nothing wrong with telling your partner those words daily.

Appreciating a man for every good thing he does, will make him do more. The harder a spouse or partner works(not only for financial upkeep), the better connected they are.

Seconded.

Lol@ Tgirl.

Yes oooo. whenever he wants to cook, fear of me not seeing enough meats in that pot dey fear me, he eats half of the food when it's still on fire and damn, does he scream at the top of his lungs of how good a chef he is?


We do movies together, he never any missed Johnny Depps ''Pirates of the carribean'', so me just go tarry along. He doesn't like clothes shopping with me on his free days but has no choice ,he just drives me and 99.9 percent of the time, waits outside with a cup of coffee in his hands.

We also watch movies together every weekend and some weeknights as well. A lot of the times I drive to work and he comes to my work place in a taxi and drives me back, but e no dey to do am again, one day he came to pick me up as he was entering the ED, next thing he saw was one Aboriginal man with a piece of broken glass buried deep in his head, see my Oga pick raise. He no chop that night , I wished the lost appetite lasted longer self, then I don't have to bother with him waking up in the middle of night, throwing pots and pans everywhere, looking for something to eat.

We also fart together .

You guyz just cracked one of my ribs o


Well, I haven't seen a question related to bachelors

he he he



It must be fun all the way.

This is teaching us how to be more intimate with our men. But, Jenny o . . . We in naija need xtra effort o.

Boko haram, flooding, inflation and all this stress can sometimes make you forget ow fun it can be to be married.

Yea, I forgot to add that we love praying together (ahem . . . my hubby loves it but I have to comply)

@jennykadry U made me lol hard (& I almost bust my top). Unfortunately, your type is difficult to come buy. Seriously, if I were your toy-boy,

This thread has woken up something in me that has been lying dormant. We av been so focused on making a baby that we av forgotten all those litle things we used to do that was so much fun. We were talking last night and he reminded me of some of them and we had a hearty laugh together. Will definitely put in effect some of these new tricks. The only problem i forsee is that both of us like watching football, so who will distract the other? Maybe when he is watching all them Kardashian and nonsense reality shows

I think the society exert too much pressure on us about the issues of child bearing, and it in a way affect the the romance life of a lot of couples. i watched an interview of a white couple who had married for two years and yet they had not even made plans to start making babies,but in Nigeria six month after wedding your wife is not yet concieved,the couple will begin to experience pressure from various quaters

.

hmmmm.

love this bt i neva marry sha, yet i'm learnin cos i pray all stuffs set in time. amen

@ CC

The dude does not use his eyes to see blood ooo. He does not watch any documentary that has to do with blood, the day his god son was getting circumcised, the dude ran away from the room before we even got half way. . Infact one day sef, I held his hands and was like "Your hands look good, I would love to cannulate you". The dude ignored me for the rest of that day  .

jennykadry:

@ CC

The dude does not use his eyes to see blood ooo. He does not watch any documentary that has to do with blood, the day I circumcised his god son, the dude ran away from the room before we got half way. . Infact one day sef, I held his hands and was like "Your hands look good, I would love to cannulate you". The dude ignored me for the rest of that day .

Are you from Borno? (no offiense)

Wow! You ladies truly paint an incredible yet lovely picture!
@OP, it's definitely about doing the little things: the unexpectd gestures, making her feel like the queen she is (my lady), telling her hw much u love her, dn't leave her to figure it out on her own (I made that mistake in my last rltnshp), and being her man as much as u can/all the way. Be there for her. Be comfortable with each other. It really keeps the fire burning bright!

@all comments(esp CC and jk)
LIARS FROM THE PIT OF HELL!!!

marriage can indeed be sweet if the couple pay attention to each other.

^^^^ ^^ seconded.

I think i need to get married too ASAP!
This is so much fun.

This i must say is 1 of the most meaningful threads i have ever read on nairaland.

Ok yall I have been reading this thread and many others and I guess I would love to have some feedback from specifically Jenny and CC (seasoned wives -- as one of my in-laws would say) and any other married women. We just got married exactly a month ago today. When we started dating he was very romantic then as we grew closer and become more like best friends that side of him kinda faded away. I mean he is really loving and caring (not necessarily outwardly romantic anymore). But I just wish he could work on his computer/watch TV less esp in the evenings (so we can have a few minutes of prayer/devotion time) or in the mornings especially on weekends.
I would love for us to wake up in the mornings say on saturdays and just lounge a little bit in bed talking, praying, chatting, laughing or discussing serious/important things, anyways doing whatever keeps us gives us quality time esp knowing we both work the whole week during the day and cant do it on weekdays. Instead he would just wake up and jump on his computer or on the TV. I expressed to him the importance of having some us time esp in the evenings just to be able to catch up with the day and pray. I havent seen that much effort and I do not want to be nagging, and I dont either want us to get used to not have that time, otherwise how will it be in 1 year, 5 years, when we have kids?
I love cooking and that is one thing that makes him really happy and sometimes he will pop into the kitchen but for the most part would seat in front of his computer in the bedroom (or the laptop at the kitchen table which I prefer that way we can still talk). Any advice?
I know this is a very minor issue but would like some feedback. Thanks ladies!

Wow, you both should be on your honeymoon stage, did you live with him before marriage? My man loves soccer and hates shopping for groceries on Saturday mornings when he can just sit back at home and watch the football. Every family needs to devote quality time to God daily. There are a lot of ways to distract this men. There are times I just leave what I am doing and sit on his thighs especially his soccer days. If mountain cannot go to Mohammed then. . . . Go to him with a bible, tell him(sweetly) to lead the devotion, start singing and clapping wherever he is. Show your husband you need his attention with your body language. Sometimes it's not all about the sex, the 99 times I disturb him when he is busy is not for sex, I just do it to get his eyes off it and concentrate on me. Even when I am on my Laptop, he sometimes comes to me and squeezes himself into one tight corner beside me and that instant I know better than to continue surfing the net. When you wake up in the morning engage him in convos in bed, make sure you are not far away from him in bed. Enough of the talking already, go to him anytime he jumps on his lappy. Plan some outings with him on your days off. Get out of that house even if you have to drag him with you. Enjoy your marriage before kids invade. This should be your sha[i]g[/i]ging without mercy stage.

i love this thread, am learning, with these marriage can be sweet, is in our hands to make it sweeter!!

)

Jenny and CC, you gals are just lovingly crazy 

As for me, there is no dull moment with me when I am with my one and only! I simply become another man!!!!!! Spouses should learn to spend time with each other if you want to rekindle the fire. You will be amazed of the wondrous inferno that can erupt from that ember that is fading once you get rid of those things that steal your time with each other. Open yourselves up. Don't take things too seriously. Just be friends once more. You know how it was when you were courting. You were just happy being in each other's company. That spouse is still the same person, still capable of that romance.

To be continued. . .

[b]Sister please invest in Egyptian crisp cotton sheets and make sure that these sheets are changed weekly; better changed on Friday night Freshly laundered crisp sheets and comfortable pillows makes anyone just want to stay in bed allday. Make your bedroom your sancutay; good music, a stocked fridge, blackout curtains, TV and snacks & of course a king size bed that doesnt squeak [/b]Enjoy your man. He is all yours
[quote][/quote]

Gbam!!!!!, , for real!,

jennykadry:

Wow, you both should be on your honeymoon stage, did you live with him before marriage? My man loves soccer and hates shopping for groceries on Saturday mornings when he can just sit back at home and watch the football. Every family needs to devote quality time to God daily. There are a lot of ways to distract this men. There are times I just leave what I am doing and sit on his thighs especially his soccer days. If mountain cannot go to Mohammed then. . . . Go to him with a bible, tell him(sweetly) to lead the devotion, start singing and clapping wherever he is. Show your husband you need his attention with your body language. Sometimes it's not all about the sex, the 99 times I disturb him when he is busy is not for sex, I just do it to get his eyes off it and concentrate on me. Even when I am on my Laptop, he sometimes comes to me and squeezes himself into one tight corner beside me and that instant I know better than to continue surfing the net. When you wake up in the morning engage him in convos in bed, make sure you are not far away from him in bed. Enough of the talking already, go to him anytime he jumps on his lappy. Plan some outings with him on your days off. Get out of that house even if you have to drag him with you. Enjoy your marriage before kids invade. This should be your sha[i]g[/i]ging without mercy stage.

Lol Jenny! Yes we should be on our honeymoon stage . We actually didnt plan one just because of the demands on both of our jobs. I took a few days off before and he couldnt because he just started a new job literally the week before the wedding . Maybe we should plan one sometime before the end of the year .
We dated for a year exactly to our wedding day. No we didnt live together even tho we spent a lot of our free time together. His idea of a romantic evening (and he is very serious) is put a good movie ("good" means spartacus type of movie ) with me besides him and something good to snack on. I can do all of the above with no problem even tho I cant stand those kinda movies (too much noise, too much violence and too much blood) but what is the point since both of our attention is focused on a 3rd object (the tv) and not on each other. I long for technology-free quality time, just us no noise, no tv, no computer, no cellphone just us even if it's 5 minutes right before going to bed or early in the morning before we get up to go shower and start our day.
On the few occasions that we have done it it's like a breath of fresh air (emotionally and spiritually) . I'm thinking that maybe i'm lil too demanding in that area and should just appreciate the fact that he loves me. And he does say "I love you" semi-daily LOL and values me in front of his or my family and/or friends. But I just think that little bit of time together when we are focused on each other is crucial. Thats when I can ask him if there are things that I can improve on, or when can talk about our relationship or how to handle a particular problem. Sometimes when that attention is there you might just be talking about one thing, then move on to another topic and another one and you end up discussing alot of important stuff, rather than having to mentally "make myself note" to bring up a particular topic.

I do come and sit on his lap and pinch his nose, pinch his ear, scratch his head, close his eyes, sing stupid song, speak in an indian accent , play silly (I'm always been labeled as a lil crazy by very close friends and family - otherwise I usually act calm and serious most of the time when not in private) and he laughs for a lil bit and begs me to live him alone and I do. He gets the msg that I need attention I'm sure but he doesnt act on it, he keeps doing his thing . And i usually just retire to my kitchen and start cooking whatever I'm inspired to make and take charge of the tv with my cooking or home improvement shows and ignore him too for a lil while. Alot of times he realizes that and come seeking for my attention and I play dumb. Keep doing my thing too.

For the devotions, not sure me coming with the bible will work though. But i'm willing to try. Thats the most important problem to me. I have gotten him to commit to go to church no matter what every sunday and glad that last sunday was about being serious in our spiritual life and commit ourselves to move to a different level. So he did make a few commitments with no follow ups so far.

He hates going out if he doesnt have to and esp hates grocery time, as soon as we get to the store he is like "Let's hurry baby I have some things to do" . Last time I got mad and told him that he always says that but if we were going to Staples or BestBuy he wouldnt say that and call me to come a check out various type of technological gadgets and ask me if we can get it knowing we dont need it and that I dont always feel like cooking or cleaning but I do because I have to, so he should stop acting like a boy who is in a hurry to go back home play video game .

Thank you for all the advice sister Jenny, I wont give up but I'll make sure that I dont become annoying even tho sometimes I think that I'd rather have him think "I'd better to this otherwise my wife will not be happy" than "Whatever, she'll talk then she'll stop".

chaircover:

@sasi Congratulations dear. Wishing you many happy years together

Jenny has said it all. You are just going to have to derive methods & make the effort to distract him. The devotional time is most important and a family that prays together stays together.

I dont know how close you are to your pastor/how big your church is but you will find that when one is given responsibility in church the Christian life almost always gets better. So you may want to look into encouraging him to have some responsibiliy in the church.

Basically you have to evade his space & make him realise that you are better than the laptop or TV. whatever you do, dont nag him or he will just wake up in the morning and go out rather than being at home on the laptop

OMG mama CC!!! You and sister Jenny are the bomb!!!
Yeah I would love him to realize the importance of praying. When I'm done in the kitchen and I have showered and ready for bed he is usually working on his laptop/desktop or watching TV. Most of the time by then he is already sleepy or tired or dozing off but he has this very annoying habit (which my dad also had) to always deny that he is sleeping, he never sleeping he is only resting his eyes or thinking abt life when I hear him loudly snoring on the chair. So I usually come get him but most times he "not sleeping" and he is coming, always coming but never actually "there". I try 2 or 3 times then I just go do my devotions and sleep. Most of times if I wake up later i'll find him still asleep in the living room. It's just a bad habit that he has had for years even when he was living with family he did the same thing and I kept telling that an adult doesnt just fall asleep like a baby anywhere sleep catches you until  somebody comes and gets you to "transfer" from the living to the bed. An adult prepares for bed, and for the next day the evening before, shower, pray then sleep or keep watching tv or do something else, at least you are ready for bed.

With church I have gone easy on him coz I dont want to be the annoying Holy Mary so as long as he can commit for us to go to church together consistently that's a good start. Not sure he is ready to want to get involved more at this point. We go to a large contemporary international non-denominational church with over 6,000 members and we just missed the membership class (next one is early next year) but I'm just sure that if we could have least consistently pray daily together he would want to go to more than just the sunday service. Thats one the reasons we chose this church over the various african churches around, usually they are smaller, people know you and get personal with you and you become involved quickly and he didnt want that (and to some extent I wanted our personal life to not mingle too much with the life of the church which is often what happens with smaller churches but I do wanna get involved more into the life of the church).

chaircover:


when you wake up in the morning & he is still in bed, go into your bathroom and have a shower, brush your teeth and rub your body with something that smells light and romantic (nothing too heavy) Avon soft musk and Victoria Secret are quite nice, put on a negligee and then go to the kitchen and make him something light (even if it is a slice of toast and coffee) and then go back to bed. That will keep him in bed for another few hours

As regards the TV, you can consider buying a tv and placing it in your bedroom, so there is no need for either of you to hurry out of bed on a sat morning

Sister please invest in Egyptian crisp cotton sheets and make sure that these sheets are changed weekly; better changed on Friday night    Freshly laundered crisp sheets and comfortable pillows makes anyone just want to stay in bed allday. Make your bedroom your sancutay; good music, a stocked fridge, blackout curtains, TV and snacks & of course a king size bed that doesnt squeak

Enjoy your man. He is all yours 

As regards to this I will def do the bolded  this weekend and keep as something to do on the weekends!! But when does he get up earlier than me, shower, put on some Davidorff and bring me breakfast in bed?   I know I know. Never mind lol. I have some Avon stuff (love it).

Mama CC if the bedroom is too comfy esp that he already has his home office there, he will hibernate there (esp with winter coming quickly) and leave me in the kitchen by myself   LOL Just kidding. It's 1000 times better that he is somewhere in the house than outside, 

I love my husband  

ronkebp:

[b]Sister please invest in Egyptian crisp cotton sheets and make sure that these sheets are changed weekly; better changed on Friday night    Freshly laundered crisp sheets and comfortable pillows makes anyone just want to stay in bed allday. Make your bedroom your sancutay; good music, a stocked fridge, blackout curtains, TV and snacks & of course a king size bed that doesnt squeak [/b]Enjoy your man. He is all yours 

Gbam!!!!!,  , for real!, 

Ronkebp, mama CC knows what's up!!

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-126421.0.html#bot

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-568948.0.html

Read the above thread , it will inspire you. I swear. No one is perfect my dear. I remember reading a thread where my fellow women were complaining about untidy husbands , yes I refused to reply or say anything because I am tired of talking. The first link above was a thread started in 2008 ,were I complained about his untidiness. I cannot fit shout again abeg.

You must be nice leaving him alone when he asks you to. Me? not a chance in hell . It is either you drop what you are doing and give me my attention or forever have a pest in your azz, cos I am not leaving . There are times esp on saturdays I come out of the shower and start showing him some nice dance moves before you know it, you will see him join in too and we could do that for an hour without feeling the need to leave the room.

The more you back out, the more he knows that just a single line of ''Babe, please I am busy here'' will chase you away anytime. You need to stick to it and not leave. The devotion part is the one I am more concerned about. I think you need to start helping him build his spiritual life, it is so important. If he falls asleep , wake him up seriously. .

I bet you, your husband will go bonkers if you stop giving him his own attention, I know his type.

I cannot believe you have not tried out the arts of seduction? babes are you kidding me? You need those sexy lingeries. Even my husband told me that the first 6 months of marriage was one of his best months on earth before I started wearing the 1900 PJ's . All thanks to the white man's land that had varieties of lace nighties. My dear that man testified to the goodness of sexy nighties and underwears in those 6 months .

Look for your husband's weakest point and focus on that area when you wanno distract him. I must confess that there are times(soccer times) when I just sit beside him unclad and cover us with a nice blanket, He actually knows I have come again with my wahala, the next thing you hear him say is ''Hmmmm. . . . . here we go again'' .

Ok, I must confess. Please you people should not kill me I beg. I sometimes lie that I have just had a muscle cramp with no emmmmmmm. clears throat on