Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? - Family - Nairaland
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| Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by eepeepook: 6:26pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
Let’s pause talking about waist beads for once. This is a topic which affects many Nigerians. Funny enough, I’ve never seen it posted here. I know very well some members have experienced it. How will you cope with discovering your father had a secret family? I can imagine the rage and betrayal I’ll go through from such revelation. Many learned of it after the death of their fathers. Some accept the new family while few reject them completely. What will you do? Has it happened to you? Do you know anyone who’s faced the situation? 13 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by onumadu: 6:33pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
eepeepook: Product of black man's hypocrisy. Go through this website, and all you hear is sanctimonious crap about monogamy. Go behind and dig a little, and you see the truth. 21 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by Exmilitant(m): 6:40pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
I wouldn't feel bad learning about my dad's other family. i am not emotionally attached to anyone or anything. i was born that way. 132 Likes 9 Shares |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by Real000: 6:42pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
Family secrets point if corrections His my dad for sure 3 Likes |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by onumadu: 6:43pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
I get particularly angry about such things because one of my uncles did exactly the same. He had his "only wife" with which he had 5 children (one male and four females). But while at it, he had another "secret family" with another woman who knew his open/real family, and they had 8 children together. When he died, the secret family couldn't even attend his funeral! What type of hypocrisy is that? 42 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by eepeepook: 6:52pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
onumadu:Jesus. Thirteen children! He should have started a polygamous family already. Why the secrecy? Most of the people who do this grew up in polygamous households so know no other way of life. Men who grew up in monogamous homes birth a child or two outside — mostly out of the mistress’s scheming. The situation I knew, the main family consisted of three fully grown women. The secret family consisted of five boys under teenage years. The women decided to accept the children and financially raise them as any sibling would. 24 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by Kobojunkie: 7:04pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
eepeepook:Interesting questions! How many in fact accept the new family and are themselves accepted by the new family?  3 Likes |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by onumadu: 7:09pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
eepeepook: Well, not true because the man in question is a product of a monogamous marriage. His father (ie. my grandfather) was even a "church worker" (I don't want to say more because I don't want some people to put two and two). These hide and seek behaviors are not normal because they are disobeying the first law God gave to humans, which is "BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY". Polygamy obeys that law more. Monogamy is a direct attempt to "manage" (i.e.curb) that command. Once you disobey the law of nature (of God) you run into problems. 6 Likes |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by eepeepook: 7:13pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:I know six instances. Four accepted while two refused to accept the new family. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by Kobojunkie: 7:22pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
eepeepook:1. Explain what you mean by "accept" please so we can both be on the same page abeg? 7 Likes |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by LordIsaac(m): 7:23pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
Exmilitant:I'm just like you o...I have this mantra:" ...that I came to this world alone...and it is certain I shall go alone..." I care, but never attached! 10 Likes |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by MrBrownJay1(m): 7:28pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
some men prefer to be polygamous and have all his family under one roof while others rather have a secret families (for better peace of mind). whatever my father done in his past, is his life and nothing but his life. wouldnt take away how i regard my father, to each their own misery! 24 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by JeffreyJunior: 7:34pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
If only you know how a brother dey hungry me now eeh. I wish the old man's prick had scored away match-es, we would've gladly welcomed them with open arms by now. My mum would be the first to welcome them because this her son here no dey hear word. A second son would've given her grandkids at 20yrs old.  26 Likes |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by onumadu: 7:48pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
JeffreyJunior: You see! There are MANY stories like yours itching to come out, but are usually shouted down by the tyrannical majority. The painful thing is that men who manage to have such secret families are usually incapable of owning up. We (boys) usually don't have such serious conversations with our dads because of many reasons. But had it been that you had such conversation, you may have convinced him to cast his net outside and see what comes up.  I have many brothers, and simply can't imagine life without them. So, I understand your loneliness. This is why I keep saying that every marriage/family is UNIQUE. One size does not (and cannot) fit all. Don't copy anyone. Do your thing. To each his own. 13 Likes |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by Nobody: 9:06pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
Funny enough, I didn't know that my grandfather had two wives until his death. The one that I knew and called grandmother was his first wife... I was very close to them, but no one ever told me that I had a second grandmother somewhere. It was only during the funeral when I saw another woman sitting next to my grandmother also dressed in similar black attires... When I asked who she was, I was told that she is my grandfather's second wife... According to the Sepedi tradition, a widow is not supposed to go outdoors until the spouse has been laid to rest, I'd constantly find this woman indoors with my grandmother, but I thought she was just a relative that came to console her. Apparently she cheated on my grandfather and got pregnant with another man's child and even though my grandfather didn't traditionally divorce her, he separated from her and cut ties with her. His children from his second wife used to visit the house every once in a while, I met some before but I thought they were just guests.. 24 Likes |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by eepeepook: 9:35pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:”If you don’t gerrit, forgeh abourrit.” 4 Likes |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by Kobojunkie: 9:36pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
eepeepook:ok |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by poshestmina(f): 2:12am On May 01, 2023 |
It depends. I have heard about this type of Incidences before and they happened to my parent's friends ( trust Military men and their transferring joysticks). One even sang "it is well,with my soul " on his deathbed 😅, burial day , another wife showed up with two boys(carbon copies of the late man) 😅😅😅😅. Unfortunately , the land belongs to the wife ,while the husband built the house ...them drag case tire and the Wife won!! Second one was my mum's closest friend's husband ...Baba was playing away 😅😅😅,the wife knew and didn't let him know . She was busy building her school and a 14 self contained house till he got really sick after retirement and died . My mum said immediately they kept the corpse in the morgue ,the woman and her daughter went straight to a salon to make hair etc to look good for the sympathizers 😅😅. I don't trust my dad at allll but I hope the 'outside ' kids are grown and doing well for themselves ,so we connect once in a while ...If the secret kids are still young ,I have NO business whatsoever with them ,they should hold their mother and father and No ,they will never be a part of the family! Custom/police/Army/Immigration officers ,I greet una!!! 28 Likes |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by Caramia2020(m): 10:20am On May 01, 2023 |
Secret family will surely be open one day n it will lead to bitterness among the secret n open children if there is properties to inherit n finally the children might resent the late father. 2 Likes |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by IkeIgboNiile(m): 1:56pm On May 08, 2023 |
This is why i love what yul edochie did. If i ever have kids outside my marriage, I'll make sure i introduce them to my other kids. I won't hide or deny my blood. It may take them a while to come around but they'll definitely come around. 11 Likes |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by inoki247: 2:13pm On May 08, 2023 |
Lol |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by EKONGKING: 2:13pm On May 08, 2023 |
Ok |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by GboyegaD(m): 2:13pm On May 08, 2023 |
He had none but if he did and was confirmed through DNA, I have no problems accepting them however, we might no enjoy so much relationship like I do with my siblings. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by FalseProphet1(m): 2:13pm On May 08, 2023 |
If the spirit tells me to. I'll accept them. Think I have seen. |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by iCauseTrouble: 2:14pm On May 08, 2023 |
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| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by free2ryhme: 2:16pm On May 08, 2023 |
eepeepook: |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by ipobarecriminals: 2:16pm On May 08, 2023 |
 Aren't they his seed? Unless he deny being their father |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by Kobicove(m): 2:16pm On May 08, 2023 |
So long as I'm the one feeding myself i don't give a damn 2 Likes |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by ElValiente(m): 2:16pm On May 08, 2023 |
I did we are one now. Blood blind us. He's dead but we are here. Their past their wahala. It's our time. Ikan ni WA. We are even business partners and family. We share what our dad left equally. Life is once. Live it well. 22 Likes |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by opalu: 2:16pm On May 08, 2023 |
Yes |
| Re: Will You Accept Your Dad’s Secret Family? by ipobarecriminals: 2:17pm On May 08, 2023 |
  1 Like |
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