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Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? - Family - Nairaland

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Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by Nobody: 5:55pm On Jun 19, 2023
This is the issue I have, I find myself being emotionally attached to my nephews and nieces.. I think them and I have this special bond to a point that most of them also feel comfortable opening up to me.

This past weekend my nephew was taken to an initiation school, I just had to travel all the way from Durban to Polokwane just to see him before he leaves... The last time I left home the relationship between me and my mom wasn't going so well, but my father managed to talk to me and asked that I forgive her even though it's not easy... I was able to put everything aside for the sake of my nephew because I wanted to see him before he leaves for the initiation school.

Those who may wonder what an initiation school is, it's a cultural school whereby kids who are about to enter puberty, or are already in puberty are taken in order to be taught cultural virtues and principles of transitioning from childhood to teenhood.

His mother brought him to the family house on Saturday afternoon, I spent the entire afternoon gisting with him and he was nervous about the whole thing of going to an initiation school... I had to calm him down.. They were already late because other kids had left with their guardians to the mountains in the morning... My mother then called the royal house to make some inquiries and she was told that they could bring the child the following morning which was Sunday.

The following morning my parents and my sister along with my nephew left for the royal house in the village, the boy's father met them there and from there, the boy and the father were taken to the mountains, where the boy will stay with the others for four weeks.

The father just wanted to drop his son in the mountains and leave afterwards, but he was told that he must be around for at least 2 days to make sure that his son is well settled.

It was so difficult seeing him leave and I couldn't hold my tears, he's just so adorable and I sometimes wonder if he'll be able cope with the living conditions in the mountains for four weeks.

I remembered of how he talked about wanting a PlayStation when he visited the family house back in December, so I bought a PlayStation 5 for him as his graduation gift from the initiation school, they'll be having a party at his home when he returns, but I won't be able to go because of the protection order I have against his father... I gave the gift to my sister for her to give it to him.

The relationship between his father and I may not be good, but I love the boy so much like he's my own.

My other brother in law has also talked of how his children look up to me... grin grin grin

So I'd like to know if you guys have also found yourself emotionally attached to your siblings' children.

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by ekitimanalways(m): 6:52pm On Jun 19, 2023
Samantha124:
This is the issue I have, I find myself being emotionally attached to my nephews and nieces.. I think them and I have this special bond to a point that most of them also feel comfortable opening up to me.

This past weekend my nephew was taken to an initiation school, I just had to travel all the way from Durban to Polokwane just to see him before he leaves... The last time I left home the relationship between me and my mom wasn't going so well, but my father managed to talk to me and asked that I forgive her even though it's not easy... I was able to put everything aside for the sake of my nephew because I wanted to see him before he leaves for the initiation school.

Those who may wonder what an initiation school is, it's a cultural school whereby kids who are about to enter puberty, or are already in puberty are taken in order to be taught cultural virtues and principles of transitioning from childhood to teenhood.

His mother brought him to the family house on Saturday afternoon, I spent the entire afternoon gisting with him and he was nervous about the whole thing of going to an initiation school... I had to calm him down.. They were already late because other kids had left with their guardians to the mountains in the morning... My mother then called the royal house to make some inquiries and she was told that they could bring the child the following morning which was Sunday.

The following morning my parents and my sister along with my nephew left for the royal house in the village, the boy's father met them there and from there, the boy and the father were taken to the mountains, where the boy will stay with the others for four weeks.

The father just wanted to drop his son in the mountains and leave afterwards, but he was told that he must be around for at least 2 days to make sure that his son is well settled.

It was so difficult seeing him leave and I couldn't hold my tears, he's just so adorable and I sometimes wonder if he'll be able cope with the living conditions in the mountains for four weeks.

I remembered of how he talked about wanting a PlayStation when he visited the family house back in December, so I bought a PlayStation 5 for him as his graduation gift from the initiation school, they'll be having a party at his home when he returns, but I won't be able to go because of the protection order I have against his father... I gave the gift to my sister for her to give it to him.

The relationship between his father and I may not be good, but I love the boy so much like he's my own.

My other brother in law has also talked of how his children look up to me... grin grin grin

So I'd like to know if you guys have also found yourself emotionally attached to your siblings' children.

Your culture (initiation school) fascinates me. When you described yourself, I almost felt someone's describing me a few years ago.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by Klass99(f): 7:53pm On Jun 19, 2023

9 Likes

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by Exmilitant(m): 9:30pm On Jun 19, 2023
All seven of my two sisters children lived with me.
Some are now in the university but my house is their base even when they are on holidays.

The youngest is Six this year. That bundle is the reason why I am still single. She started living with me when she was three. She is a trouble maker and fighter. grin

I don't know why my nieces and nephews get attached to me the moment they set eyes on me.
The beauty of it all is that we speak our Ikwerre language in the house.

49 Likes 1 Share

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by Nobody: 9:38pm On Jun 19, 2023
What happened few years ago? If you don't mind me asking.
ekitimanalways:


Your culture (initiation school) fascinates me. When you described yourself, I almost felt someone's describing me a few years ago. 
Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by Foodqueen(f): 9:56pm On Jun 19, 2023
Initiation school
Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by Nobody: 10:08pm On Jun 19, 2023
Nah, there's no other ceremony for transitioning from teenhood to adulthood... But I think the Zulus have it, they call it Memulo.

It's only during the wedding that the elders will come and advice the couple on how to sustain a good marriage... During the traditional wedding, the couple are also taken to the royal house where they'll receive blessings from the king and the queen.... Every year there's a special ceremony for married women within the royal house whereby the newly married women are welcomed and taught the virtues of being good wives.

The practice of initiation schools is common in some SA tribes, it's not just my tribe alone and it's open to both genders in my tribe, but the girls don't stay in the mountains ... I don't know about other Pedi dialects, but in my dialect, if you're a woman and you've never been to an initiation school, then you can't get married to a man that has been to an initiation school.

Either you have to go to an initiation school first, or you go after the wedding... But if your man is okay with you not going, then it's still okay because no one can force you to do something you're not comfortable with.

Even though I wasn't born and raised in the village, I know all these things because my grandparents were close friends with the royal family in the village and I used to visit them during every school holidays.. cheesy cheesy cheesy
Klass99:


I respect and applaud this cultural practice. Is there another school for transitioning from teenhood to young adulthood? Is this practice peculiar to your tribe alone or is it common in all of SA? Is the school gender specific or open to both genders, i.e. male and female? I am impressed.

6 Likes

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by Nobody: 10:09pm On Jun 19, 2023
It's a cultural school... grin grin grin
Foodqueen:
Initiation school

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by Nobody: 10:14pm On Jun 19, 2023
I'm guessing we're just lovable.. grin grin grin
Exmilitant:
All seven of my two sisters children lived with me.
Some are now in the university but my house is their base even when they are on holidays.

The youngest is Six this year. That bundle is the reason why I am still single. She started living with me when she was three. She is a trouble maker and fighter. grin

I don't know why my nieces and nephews get attached to me the moment they set eyes on me.
The beauty of it all is that we speak our Ikwerre language in the house.


3 Likes

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by GloriousGbola: 3:44am On Jun 20, 2023
Klass99:


I respect and applaud this cultural practice. Is there another school for transitioning from teenhood to young adulthood? Is this practice peculiar to your tribe alone or is it common in all of SA? Is the school gender specific or open to both genders, i.e. male and female? I am impressed.


Mandinka manhood training has entered the chat. Bring out the Kasas boyo knives
Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by mzansiboy(m): 4:07am On Jun 20, 2023
Samantha124:
This is the issue I have, I find myself being emotionally attached to my nephews and nieces.. I think them and I have this special bond to a point that most of them also feel comfortable opening up to me.

This past weekend my nephew was taken to an initiation school, I just had to travel all the way from Durban to Polokwane just to see him before he leaves... The last time I left home the relationship between me and my mom wasn't going so well, but my father managed to talk to me and asked that I forgive her even though it's not easy... I was able to put everything aside for the sake of my nephew because I wanted to see him before he leaves for the initiation school.

Those who may wonder what an initiation school is, it's a cultural school whereby kids who are about to enter puberty, or are already in puberty are taken in order to be taught cultural virtues and principles of transitioning from childhood to teenhood.

His mother brought him to the family house on Saturday afternoon, I spent the entire afternoon gisting with him and he was nervous about the whole thing of going to an initiation school... I had to calm him down.. They were already late because other kids had left with their guardians to the mountains in the morning... My mother then called the royal house to make some inquiries and she was told that they could bring the child the following morning which was Sunday.

The following morning my parents and my sister along with my nephew left for the royal house in the village, the boy's father met them there and from there, the boy and the father were taken to the mountains, where the boy will stay with the others for four weeks.

The father just wanted to drop his son in the mountains and leave afterwards, but he was told that he must be around for at least 2 days to make sure that his son is well settled.

It was so difficult seeing him leave and I couldn't hold my tears, he's just so adorable and I sometimes wonder if he'll be able cope with the living conditions in the mountains for four weeks.

I remembered of how he talked about wanting a PlayStation when he visited the family house back in December, so I bought a PlayStation 5 for him as his graduation gift from the initiation school, they'll be having a party at his home when he returns, but I won't be able to go because of the protection order I have against his father... I gave the gift to my sister for her to give it to him.

The relationship between his father and I may not be good, but I love the boy so much like he's my own.

My other brother in law has also talked of how his children look up to me... grin grin grin

So I'd like to know if you guys have also found yourself emotionally attached to your siblings' children.

So 2 years back I didn't want anything to so with my nephew, because of his mother. So the mother had a problem with my ex gf and would argue and shout at us. Things got so bad that she fought with my parents, but my brother, her husband, told her to apologise. After she apologised I my ex gf broke up with me, but today I have relationship with my nephew. So sometime the parents are the reason that children don't have relationship with the aunties and uncles.

8 Likes

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by talented321: 4:52am On Jun 20, 2023
Na so they call my female cousin my wife that year, because our relationship was more than brother and sister, she can't stay if i am not around, sha she don marry and i have to tell her to stop the calls because i don't know either she marry my type.

2 Likes

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by Exmilitant(m): 6:34am On Jun 20, 2023
Samantha124:
I'm guessing we're just lovable.. grin grin grin
True.

1 Like

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by Kajaard: 6:41am On Jun 20, 2023
I and my nephew and niece (still in college) are very very close.

They prefer spending a greater part of their holidays in my house.

They refer me to me as the COOL UNCLE cool

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by ekitimanalways(m): 9:09am On Jun 20, 2023
Samantha124:
What happened few years ago? If you don't mind me asking.

 "What happened few years ago? If you don't mind me asking".
My young cousin who looked up to me and who I had grown fond of died a few years ago. I am an introvert. Her death made me stop getting attached to nieces, nephews, cousins, etc.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by Klass99(f): 9:39am On Jun 21, 2023

7 Likes

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by Edipet(m): 1:14pm On Jun 21, 2023
G
Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by tiswell(m): 1:15pm On Jun 21, 2023
Genetically, it might be true,but logically it's difficult

1 Like

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by Jeezuzpick(m): 1:15pm On Jun 21, 2023
Nope.

I hardly see them.

Haven't seen any of them for over a year

1 Like

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by Sonnobax15(m): 1:15pm On Jun 21, 2023
lipsrsealed
Oh yeah....I'm a simple dude and so my nephews and nieces always feel comfortable when they are with me.

2 Likes

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by slawomir: 1:18pm On Jun 21, 2023
Damnnn niggar
It happens alot
Especially we men are emotionally attached to the children of our sisters because right from day one or from childhood our sisters were able to manipulate us into it in advance

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by Chemicalboss1(m): 1:20pm On Jun 21, 2023
There's this my young cousin that answers my dad's name, his father named him after my dad.
Mehn I'm so used to that kid that I get mad when ever his dad or mom touches him.
Even the parent feels OK when ever he's with me cos I'm more proactive in watching him and letting him have fun..
Hes 4 years now and dude can operate almost any phone you give to him.

3 Likes

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by OceanEye: 1:20pm On Jun 21, 2023
Same here. Even, I have adopted my niece's daughter as my child, and she knows me only as her father.

4 Likes

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by bigdammyj: 1:21pm On Jun 21, 2023
Very much so.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by rainlover(m): 1:21pm On Jun 21, 2023
slawomir:
Damnnn niggar
It happens alot
Especially we men are emotionally attached to the children of our sisters because right from day one of from childhood our sisters were able to manipulate us into it in advance

rest
Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by tojahh(m): 1:22pm On Jun 21, 2023
Oh Yes

1 Like

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by tojahh(m): 1:22pm On Jun 21, 2023
My Daughter is my sister's child. She's too fond of her. Everyday she will call and be talking to her on video, my daughter is just 7 months. She can't even respond but you see her having conversations and all that.

My Daughter will just be leaking the phone. grin. I don tire for those two. The gifts she has gotten from my sister is worth over 400k. Even stuff she can't even use.

8 Likes

Re: Have You Ever Found Yourself Emotionally Attached To Your Siblings' Children? by isabi2lof: 1:23pm On Jun 21, 2023
Not yet but other relatives nope

1 Like

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