mask3:
I personally blame him for still going ahead to marry her.

I would hav backed out,let dem carry their daughter go.if they really want their daughtet to be wit u,they should hav helped pay.

He paid for bride price oo.. he has bought you her has the right to do anyhow, since your father didnt care about whats gonna happen after. . .Infact the mistake most africa's make is comparing ther lifestyle to that of yankee... Abraod no get time for bride price Oo so woman has there right reserved

Jewessgratitud3:

*From a concerned lady*👇‼️

My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they asked for.

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Advise this lady

First of all, before you get upset with him, try to be understanding with him. N150k in this economical ain't really that much if you think of it. If you sit down to calculate the cost of the wedding expenses he incurred for the wedding, he would spend nothing less than 2m. These days alone, one cow would cost about 500k. Renting a big hall depending on the state the wedding was held would cost him nothing less than 400k. Let's not talk about decorating and all.

Words hurt a man if you don't know. You literally hurt his feelings when you blackmailed him with 'if you really love me, you will do it'. He made a sacrifice for your happiness by taking a loan, just to make you happy. Logically in a wedding preparation, you are meant to help fight for him to cut some expenses cos at the end of the day, what's more important is a successful marriage.

Your husband is calculating what he would have used most of the money for if he didn't take a huge loan. He won't smile again until he clears that debt and stabilizes for a little while.

Jewessgratitud3:


Just because I didn't reason in your line of thoughts doesn't make my opinion null and void. We all must not reason like a cheap slut ( like you with no value) who goes with poly bag to a man's house after a can of malt and gala treat.

Receive sense and learn to make your points without attacking any submission that doesn't support your warped mentality.

Cheap article. We know una.

no wonder u are miserable at that age they claim u are

Your mentality sucks, even dangote can’t cope

Jewessgratitud3:

*From a concerned lady*👇‼️

My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they asked for.

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Advise this lady

Sorry to say, you sided with your parents, you forgot that that the convenience in the marriage will be felt by the 2 of you only. Enough of pressuring young guys on how a wedding program should look like. You are even lucky he found his way around this thing to do everything you requested. Truts me, I am married (12 yrs). My friend 13yrs ago was pressured, he did their bidding, took loan. After the wedding, it took him a year ti finish payment, that 1 year, they suffered no be small, it strained their relationship. 2 months after he finished the repayment, he lost his job, damn! that was the end of everything to salvage the marriage, it was gbas gbos! everyday until it tore apart.

1. Have taken time to ask how he managed to fulfil all your father requested?
2. Have taken time to understand perhaps he took loan, and the pain of repayment will dawn on your financial strength as couple for a long time?
You are purely insensitive, you sounded like one that will pressure him in future to meet up with demands from relatives or families. I smell bad omen, but i pray things turn out well for him, If you become a blessing to him in the marriage.

Pray hard o, and be patient.

Secondly, it looks like he was not ready by himself, but acted under pressure or persuasion.
I just hope, someday, a regeneration will emerge where the two birds in love can decide how they want their marriage to be, like just the 2 of them, and few friends. Some families are getting wise by the day, but you see those socialite, na problem, Just Run

mask3:
I personally blame him for still going ahead to marry her.

Exactly.. That's not even a good family to marry from. And look at the entitled mentality of the bride.. " she he really love her,he should go and loan money abi? I blame the guy sha.. If na me,I will leave her for her dad to marry her.. If you wan check now,them go don fvck her tire ,before the guy even dated her o.Family wan come still dey detate for him. The guy is a fool. Nonesense!

Jecci:
So a man going empty and still owing credit ontop just to marry is your definition of one having value.

Cheap article you called me lol... maybe you should stop projecting your inner self on me okay.

Are you blind? Didn't you see where I said the man had a choice to back out but continued knowing full well it was above his means?

What I said is your reality that's why you're taking this whole thing personal.

Buzz off!

IconicR:
Why stress a man so much just because of a wedding. If I had my ways nobody will know I'm married sef 😂 but it can't happen sha because it's going to be a very loud one due to some reasons beyond me . I'm with the man on this, she should genuinely apologize to him or she leaves the marriage.

Nice one. It seems you ate good breakfast today or your boyfriend gave you some good ***** last night, hence the good mood

I feel the ladies father was very greedy and wanted to use that opportunity to grab everything at once. That was too bad of the father in law.

Nairaland is just bringing the same old story for comment......I knew we had a discussion on this last week

The kind hole him see for your toto, still de make am wonder.

Jewessgratitud3:

*From a concerned lady*👇‼️

My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they asked for.

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Advise this lady

He tag the bride price rites as "extortion" cos he doesn't see d need paying honoring your parents with the rites for what he's been enjoying for free before now.

You could speak to your dad on his behalf and cut off some excesses but you didn't. The cow, hall and decor were on him so what exactly did your family do to make the event a success? I guess they bought ankara uniform and cooked . I don't think it's about what you said but what you didn't do. He'll forgive you when he's out of the debt the wedding got him into...until them....Ire o

I dont want to be tribalistic but my tribe wont bill you this much, in fact we collect the bride prize and give back to our daughter making it clearly known that our daughter is not for SALE.

budaatum:


I'm afraid I must agree with him that you supported your parents and not your future husband, though I understand how you might not have since you think loving you is shown by how much he pays for you.

Now he's paying loan for buying you and likely feels it when money he should be using to form home with you is being used to pay a loan used to buy you.

Help him pay off the loan, is what I suggest, then he might likely return to being the man you married before you let your parents put him in debt.

And try to let your parents know you are not a goat they sell in the market!

Help him pay back the loan. It sounds simple but that is all you need to do to show your man that you are with him.

They say: "a man cannot know if he's rich or poor, until he is married."


This man will remain poor with this woman. He probably realizes his mistake and how badly he has negatively influenced his life with a choice of wife.

Jewessgratitud3:

*From a concerned lady*👇‼️

My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they asked for.

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Advise this lady

Why u first go marry kunle b4. U nor know say na akagum ni

Jewessgratitud3:

*From a concerned lady*👇‼️

My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they asked for.

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Advise this lady

Know this and know peace, your husband is a kid.

I wish to be alive to see how this bobrisky will look like in his/her 80 yrs old

Kajaard:


Nice one. It seems you ate good breakfast today or your boyfriend gave you some good ***** last night, hence the good mood

I feel the ladies father was very greedy and wanted to use that opportunity to grab everything at once. That was too bad of the father in law.

At least you acknowledged my comment but the rest nairalander hypocrites will only wait on my trashy comments to spit viles. Hypocrites everywhere.

Why is it the man's responsibility to bring it all ...... Why did his wife not offer more financial support.......

She only contributed ₦50,000, out of the millions the man spent........ She played a pivotal role in the extortion scheme........

Shame on her and her parents.........

The man too, for marry hin size .........😜😂

you are the most FOOLISH woman i have ever seen in my life, you never loved him at all. WHY would you allow him to spend so much MONEY carelessly all in the name of MARRIAGE.......................

Jewessgratitud3:


Didn't you read where the lady said she supported him with some money to get the things needed for her own wedding?

Haba, make una dey try read in full and not in part before judging. It's not her fault.

I want to believe you are a lady that is why your conclusion see sense in that statement. There is nothing like support him in what she did, did she supposed not to spend money on her own weeding? You mean a woman getting married should not have spent a dime because she is not the husband to be even if she has the money? Her money should be in the bank while the husband spent and even borrow? haba now, As a man that I am, i saw that part but no man will see that as a special favour because the wedding is actually a mutual benefit, in fact, the wedding is favouring the wife than the husband if you ask me.

Jewessgratitud3:
Guys, marriage is not chere wereh. Be financially prepared when planning a wedding and stop making the woman feel bad at the end of the day like she caused your downfall.

You are the one who went for her hand in marriage so you should be very ready on all levels to go through with it and provide all that is required in the list and for the ceremony. This why I said some time ago that a guy earning 100k can not get married and many came for me. You will end up borrowing at one point or the other.


Why he's ignoring the lady in the new marriage now is what I don't get. Dem force am? Biko kwa. Make una dey hold enough before talking about marriage and wedding ceremony.

Am so happy that, if marriage is not meant for everybody earning less than 100k. Then your fellow sisters arr roaming around single and frustrated.

Jewessgratitud3:

*From a concerned lady*👇‼️

My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they asked for.

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Advise this lady

We have discussed this some days back na.

Jewessgratitud3:

*From a concerned lady*👇‼️

My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they asked for.

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Advise this lady

she is the problem. Any man would be angry too. lol

Go on your knees, apologize to him for our words, and promise to never repeat them.

He put he issue right before you and all you did was worsen it!

Your father's actions didn't hit him the way your perceived silence did. And you made it worse by saying "he was the one that wanted you, so he should do al your dad asked."

If you didn't want him, why did you consent o the wedding? You say he's not doing bad on a 150k salary, but when the loans start biting into that and he comes home with less than 100k, won't you be the person to foment trouble for him?

You did wrong. Marriage is the two of you against the world, not you against your husband.

Go and apologize to him, give him his best food and some wicked bed styles.

He'll come around and become his usual self.

Infact marriage is over hyped, any man who paid so much for a non virgin lady should caned. They are charging outrageously like house agent for a woman some random guys have smacked for free even with her money for condom. The man could have tell them to keep their daughter or openly tell them the status of their daughter.I blame the guy for his foolishness,because the writer is not loyal at all.The reason she saw things from selfish father perspective.

I spent up-to 2m in 2021 when I had my wedding. To be legally marry no be small thing , that's why I hate divorce marriage

My sister the economy is hitting everybody that's y

You should know that after the Wedding, it's only you and your man that will remain in the marriage, if you are not supporting him when your family were demanding what your husband can't afford. Since you know the condition of your man before marriage, you would have supported him when your family were making excess demands above his means.

Jewessgratitud3:
Guys, marriage is not chere wereh. Be financially prepared when planning a wedding and stop making the woman feel bad at the end of the day like she caused your downfall.

You are the one who went for her hand in marriage so you should be very ready on all levels to go through with it and provide all that is required in the list and for the ceremony. This why I said some time ago that a guy earning 100k can not get married and many came for me. You will end up borrowing at one point or the other.


Why he's ignoring the lady in the new marriage now is what I don't get. Dem force am? Biko kwa. Make una dey hold enough before talking about marriage and wedding ceremony.

Getting married is not expensive na werey dey worry many of us in Nigeria. If I were the guy I will just stop the wedding process even if I had all the whole cash. The father of the lady is just interested in selling his daughter