Ginaz:
I felt bad that she would asked her daughter not to come run errand for me. this is someone who I have been very good and supportive to since I moved here. I don't want to talk about all I've done cos it's between me and God.

the phone she's using i gave her as her own phone got spoilt.

If she could tell her child not to come to me, I'm just wondering the rest things she might be saying behind me.

could her child be lying against her mother ?

this world is wicked though. becareful of those you call friends , they may not have the same good intentions for you.

Qatar2022:
■ You pick offence on errands he send them but you don't pick any on the food he or she give them, double standard Nigeria youth

Ginaz:
I usually send her kids on errands, which I give them monetary compensations. I called her on phone one day to send her second daughter to me that I wanna send her on an errand, she replied yes she would but I didn't see the daughter.

Ginaz:


but if she needs something from me she sends same children to come to me right? I don't want to go into great details what I did for them and plans i intend to do for them. they don't have chairs in their house, they use bench. I have 4 sitter leather chairs , I was thinking of giving her one the same day the daughter told me what her mother said.

There was other things that happened. I had a quarrel with someone it got heated and drew crowds. this my so called friend came and was begging my opponent to be calmed while she totally ignored me. it was when I called her on phone she then pacified me.

I went to see her one day and she told me she went to beg the woman the next morning. I was like what ? did I ask you to do that? while she never visited me to discussed the issue or hear my side of story till date.

I'm feeling weird that she doesn't take me as a friend as I take her to be.

BrooklynBoy:


Madam forget that thing, calling her mother to call her daughter to send her on an errand is totally wrong, if na me i no go take am. If say u see her child outside and sent her on an errand, that one is quite okay

Ginaz:

I don forget o. I dey my lane now.
lesson learnt.

DrFunmisticGlow:
she is envious of you and feels inferior but also feels that she can look down on you since you don't have kids, but she will not stop the kids from freeloading in your house. Sounds like she wants to use you.

Limit your association with such a person because the next thing now is to accuse you of snatching her husband.

BrooklynBoy:


Nothing like lessons learnt, what you did is wrong.

BrooklynBoy:
Forget that thing, calling her mother to call her daughter so that you can send her on an errand is totally wrong, if na me i no go take am. If say u see her child outside and sent her on an errand, that one is quite okay

Ginaz:


what will the child gain from lying against her mother ? this friendship is one sided.

abeg I dey my own. I'm even happy the child told me her mother refused her to come to me. she should not send her children to me to make any monetary request. I don't want to hear anything

Ginaz:


Thanks. I've limited my time with them. one day she came to visit me and said I no longer come to her house. I just smiled to myself , didn't reply her.

she's pregnant currently with her 7th child in this harsh economy. I pray God provides for them, and for me cos the kids still come to eat in my house . I don't know how to drive them away. i feel sorry for the kids who sometimes go to school on empty stomach and eat eba for morning and night for days without end.

Olumaeme:
I usually keep my distance from poor people, maybe I know them or not. They have a very bad mentality.

They want to milk you dry but will never want to also support you.

I remember one family my wife used to literally feed, even though I have told her to leave them in their poverty but she's won't listen.

One day, my wife was sick, and she declined coming to assist stay with her in the hospital so I can stay with my daughter she declined giving lots of foolish excuses.

Ginaz:


but if she needs something from me she sends same children to come to me right? I don't want to go into great details what I did for them and plans i intend to do for them. they don't have chairs in their house, they use bench. I have 4 sitter leather chairs , I was thinking of giving her one the same day the daughter told me what her mother said.

There was other things that happened. I had a quarrel with someone it got heated and drew crowds. this my so called friend came and was begging my opponent to be calmed while she totally ignored me. it was when I called her on phone she then pacified me.

I went to see her one day and she told me she went to beg the woman the next morning. I was like what ? did I ask you to do that? while she never visited me to discussed the issue or hear my side of story till date.

I'm feeling weird that she doesn't take me as a friend as I take her to be.

Kingson28:
So, she can’t send the kids of her friend she’s supporting financially on errands?
What kind of friendship is that? Her money is okay to be shared with her friend, but her errands are not okay to be shared, abi? How some of you think baffles me seriously.

Kobojunkie:
When I was a kid my mum used to send us out on errands for her friend. Her friend had kids much younger than we were and she also had a business that kept her busy much of the time so understandably she needed help with babysitting from time to time. I remember having to go babysit her kids or pick them up from school to take them home when their mum was too busy to do it herself. I understood quite well how the relationship benefitted my mother as well, plus visiting the woman presented an opportunity for me to hang out with my own friends at the time.

Chee59:
Children are where most people draw the line. Never send anyone's kids without express permission from their parents. What if someone kidnaps them on the road? You can't feel entitled to your friend's children.

Ginaz:


but if she needs something from me she sends same children to come to me right? I don't want to go into great details what I did for them and plans i intend to do for them. they don't have chairs in their house, they use bench. I have 4 sitter leather chairs , I was thinking of giving her one the same day the daughter told me what her mother said.

There was other things that happened. I had a quarrel with someone it got heated and drew crowds. this my so called friend came and was begging my opponent to be calmed while she totally ignored me. it was when I called her on phone she then pacified me.

I went to see her one day and she told me she went to beg the woman the next morning. I was like what ? did I ask you to do that? while she never visited me to discussed the issue or hear my side of story till date.

I'm feeling weird that she doesn't take me as a friend as I take her to be.

Fountainofyouth:



Madam, you are not the first person that has helped people before neither will you be the last, it is not an achievement, it is an act of selflessness to get nothing in return, genuine help is not a give and take situation, do not expect anything because you helped people, you are not humble, you are arrogant and entitled, you feel because you help people, they should answer you in quick haste and without hesitation when you call, imagine calling a mother on phone to send one of her kids to you to run errands, like say na your maid, very belittling, what happen to your legs? Can't you run your errands yourself whether it is near, far, or the streets? She was nice to just say okay, if na me I go over blast you regardless of your help. The effontery to do that is because you feel they are at your mercy, meaning your help and care is not genuine, it is from a place of servitude, you demand a lot in return which is very bad

Your first bolded, I don't know why you feel the need to tell us that story, so because a friend helped you, and you choose to serve and worship her, that means people you help MUST also serve and worship you abi? Is that what you're trying to insinuate and expect from that woman? You feel you're her human god because you helped her abi? Who thinks like this in this 21st century? That's a silly mentality, very silly, disgusting and stupid thinking.....let me stop here

The last bolded shows how extremely petty you are, you sound like those street gossips that when told to narrate her side of the story, she'd twist things for people to sympathise with her, what has being childless got to do with a mother's preference on her own children? Why do you feel threatened and pained by that all of a sudden? People have pointed out your fault here, yet you feel you're right, why do you choose to be blind to your own faults?

DrFunmisticGlow:
Then the friend should also stop feeling entitled to children freeloading in op's house. It's not hard.

DrFunmisticGlow:
■ while I get your point, because accidents can happen when she sends the child on an errand, why didn't the friend tell her directly to limit the errand runs. It screams Judas iscariot behavior to me.
■ Btw was she sending the children on errands all the time?

Ginaz:
I moved into a new neighbourhood and i stay alone. Luckily I came across my childhood friend one fateful day on my way to fill up my cooking gas.

we exchanged contact, I found out we live closed to each other. she now has 6kids with her husband, the eldest child being 13yrs old.

As formal friends and now neighbours I tried to assist her with whatever little I could as they're not doing so great in financially.

I noticed whenever I enter her house, she's somewhat uneasy as she would apologized for the messy state of her house, the dirty floor , the roughness of the building which i don't even care to notice as I am not judging her.

I reduced my entrance into her house due to the fact I didnt want her to feel bad about whatever she might be thinking of her house. it was making feel uncomfortable to hear such complains too.

I usually send her kids on errands, which I give them monetary compensations. I called her on phone one day to send her second daughter to me that I wanna send her on an errand, she replied yes she would but I didn't see the daughter.

I was cooking rice, the kids came. I dished for them and I asked the daughter why she refused to come see me the day I sent for her. she told me it was her mother who told her not to come.

I was shocked ! if her mother didn't want me to send her on a errand she could have told me. I felt like I was disturbing her kids so I blocked her number and stop sending the kids message to run for me.

now she has been calling me but I've refused to answer her calls. am I wrong in wanting to end the friendship?

Alaigbo:
Leave matter for Mattias, there is not a single thing wrong in sending those kids message so long it is proportional to what they can handle.

Ginaz:


now she has been calling me but I've refused to answer her calls. am I wrong in wanting to end the friendship?

[/quote][quote author=Kobojunkie post=126519085]1. It is OK that they come to your house by themselves but sending them on errands outside of your house that they came to? No!

Tbarz:
bros leave matter for Mathias the neighbor with 6 kids na ungrateful and entitled person.

Fountainofyouth:

Madam, you are not the first person that has helped people before neither will you be the last, it is not an achievement , it is an act of selflessness to get nothing in return, genuine help is not a give and take situation, do not expect anything because you helped people, you are not humble, you are arrogant and entitled, you feel because you help people, they should answer you in quick haste and without hesitation when you call, imagine calling a mother on phone to send one of her kids to you to run errands, like say na your maid, very belittling, what happen to your legs? Can't you run your errands yourself whether it is near, far, or the streets? She was nice to just say okay, if na me I go over blast you regardless of your help. The effontery to do that is because you feel they are at your mercy, meaning your help and care is not genuine, it is from a place of servitude, you demand a lot in return which is very bad

Your first bolded, I don't know why you feel the need to tell us that story, so because a friend helped you, and you choose to serve and worship her, that means people you help MUST also serve and worship you abi? Is that what you're trying to insinuate and expect from that woman? You feel you're her human god because you helped her abi? Who thinks like this in this 21st century? That's a silly mentality, very silly, disgusting and stupid thinking.....let me stop here

The last bolded shows how extremely petty you are, you sound like those street gossips that when told to narrate her side of the story, she'd twist things for people to sympathise with her, what has being childless got to do with a mother's preference on her own children? Why do you feel threatened and pained by that all of a sudden? People have pointed out your fault here, yet you feel you're right, why do you choose to be blind to your own faults?