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My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same - Family (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same (30617 Views)

A Widower Asking For My Hand In Marriage / Happy Father's Day To All Men / 41-year-old Indonesian Widower Weds 13-year-Old 3 Months After Meeting Online (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by LadyRosa2(f): 12:22pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


Mumu use your real moniker to face me. You think I don't know who you are? The fact that you're hiding behind another moniker to attack yourself shows how timid and dull you are.

You're not worth wasting my time on. I can see you're looking for cheap attention and I won't give you the honor of achieving that cheap popularity by replying you any further.






What's with real moniker and the truth which you read.

It's your life anyway. Be smart, or foolish, your choice.

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by LadyRosa2(f): 12:23pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


Standard my foot! With your standard, na one dirty man wey you dey feed go don put you for house still dey cheat on you with hot singles out there. Oponu. You get levels reach Usifo Ataga wife? Was she able to handle the man? You sound dumb Biko.

Everybody wan form woke and standard online meanwhile their life is full of tales of woes, disaster and regrets they can't share even a tiny bit of their story to the world. Ground go explode Ewu.

Now that I've noticed your dumb azz, you can scamper back into your hole. Numskull!




I'm married, and my life is not as pathetic as yours.

I'm not the one with the men stories on here.

Kpele.

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by sparko1(m): 12:23pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jeon:
I just got one.





Waiting for more preachers who never see faults in themselves but the female forks.



I read the story and everything was all speculation, no proof of any kind, my point is, that she made it look like she broke up with him because he cheated on her, but the tune/emphasis says a lot about she the main problem is.

I am not taking sides, but if she wrote her side of the story and she could only speculate, imagine what the main issue or the truth is .

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by garriAndsugar: 12:24pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


Calculator dey calculate.

Oh... so iwas 33 then? If you see me that time ehn.. sugar, I be like 16 years old. I'm not joking. Maybe thats why I didn't notice the years (age) was flying. I wish I can get a picture his children snapped me with his phone in his compound then I for post am now now., even me I no believe myself. I looked so Young. True!
Ok. I would love to read your experience with a madman, crippled, drunkard, orphan since you have seen it all

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Zooposki(f): 12:24pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


Wetin you love o
No be wetin I love o
Wetin I love I go do am with all my heart o

Asake got you on this one.

Ahhh, ahhhh, no vex. You talk true.

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by djon78(m): 12:25pm On Nov 18, 2023
illicit:
You have had your chances with young handsome single men in your prime

You blew it


Now u are getting shorter

So what u see is what u get....


Enjoy your life


Anty no want repent

She never see anything

Even saw a Man with children who both the man and children loved her

Anyway maybe Aunty really like singlehood
Because she's been getting chances

From her story
That widower no do anything bad
Just that Aunty's village people no want rest for her matter

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Babaken(m): 12:25pm On Nov 18, 2023
illicit:
You have had your chances with young handsome single men in your prime

You blew it


Now u are getting shorter

So what u see is what u get....


Enjoy your life
hmmmm but is too early
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Amayabor1: 12:27pm On Nov 18, 2023
After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship.

Please explain this. You were in a relationship and still wanted a relationship with your ex?

If he had not sacked you, you would have still be going out with him while you are in a relationship with someone else?

From your write up, I can deduce that you are not a serious person in life.

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jeon(f): 12:28pm On Nov 18, 2023
Preacher, preach more and shift the blame on her.

sparko1:


I read the story and everything was all speculation, no proof of any kind, my point is, that she made it look like she broke up with him because he cheated on her, but the tune/emphasis says a lot about she the main problem is.

I am not taking sides, but if she wrote her side of the story and she could only speculate, imagine what the main issue or the truth is .

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 12:29pm On Nov 18, 2023
Kajaard:


She is 43 years old, not 33. Go through her birthday post as well as previous posts. That's a very old woman.

Those of us that have been on this forum for long know her very well. Her original moniker was Mercychen.

She tells a lot of lies. She is extremely lonely and seeks online validation as a source of succour. Pathetic.

You see why I keep saying you're dumb? It is now very clear you read to attack not to understand. See person wey get sense don read understand and even went ahead to do his calculations. Smart thinker. That's the kind of people I dey like to row with. Not "mama no food "? Like you and you r type who just comment on a post without fully comprehending.

I'm done with you. I can't be wasting my energy on a shallow brain like you
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by emmaodet: 12:29pm On Nov 18, 2023
illicit:
Another thing u have attitudinal problem


You can never stay with any man even if it's Jesus

👌

grin grin grin

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Kajaard: 12:31pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


You see why I keep saying you're dumb? It is now very clear you read to attack not to understand. See person wey get sense don read understand and even went ahead to do his calculations. Smart thinker. That's the kind of people I dey like to row with. Not "mama no food "? Like you and you r type who just comment on a post without fully comprehending.

I'm done with you. I can't be wasting my energy on a shallow brain like you

Frustrated old woman. Just forget about men foreever. It's too late for you. Dinosaur cheesy

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by sonyad: 12:32pm On Nov 18, 2023
Poisonousman:


All men are the same .. just like your father..

You didn't need to insult.

@ op
I just want to know how this last line 'men will always be men' became the summary of your story.

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by sonyad: 12:32pm On Nov 18, 2023
sonyad:


You didn't need to insult.

@ op
I just want to know how this last line 'men will always be men' became the summary of this your story.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by emmaodet: 12:33pm On Nov 18, 2023
Axis313:
Op is just acting immature.
No man is perfect neither any woman is.
Op should just contact a robotic engineer to build her desired perfect man for her,100 % perfection.
All it has to do is to obey all the op's command, sit down,get up,go and cook for me,let's go to church,e go follow her,and when she is in the mood,follow me to the other room,and her desired will be done,and everything else,and the op will be fulfilled and both of them will live happily ever after.

grin grin

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 12:34pm On Nov 18, 2023
garriAndsugar:

As at 2013 she was 32. The story is 10yrs old

Why you dey explain give the zombie? I thought he claims he is smart...
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 12:36pm On Nov 18, 2023
Dshocker:


I keep using myself as an example.

Women is not my thing & cheating is not in my dictionary.

Not all men cheat.

Ok. Cool.
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by djon78(m): 12:36pm On Nov 18, 2023
Kajaard:


Stop making posts to justify your being single. Stop fooling yourself. At 43 years old you might never get married anymore because your looks are no more appeasing to men.

You are way past what nairalanders refer to as EVENING NEWSPAPER (ENP).

Right now at 43 years old single and unmarried you are in YESTERDAY'S NEWSPAPER (YNP) category.

Mercychen the pathetic nairaland storyteller and habitual liar cheesy


Actually she can still get married

Even 50 years old women are getting married

There are many guys in there 40s and 50s that were never married, then widowers and divorcees too

But Aunty's problem is that she's become used to being single
She can't tolerate a lot of sh.it which is what marriage and relationships require to be and survive

Aunty no get that patience

And it doesn't look like it's bothering her
She might be ok being single

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 12:37pm On Nov 18, 2023
Lordatkinson:
Your message is touching, no doubt.
I know that most of you ladies, when you love, you do so with all that God has given you.

But what I will not agree with is your assertion that all men cheat. That is absolutely not correct.
I am a man, I never cheated and I will not cheat for a second, so help me God.

Anyways, I wish you best and pray that God will bring your own part that will complete you in Jesus name.

With exceptions to you and a few others like you my brother.

Thank you.
Amen.
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by gbeseun(m): 12:37pm On Nov 18, 2023
I am a man.
I don't cheat
My type are rare.
I am married and with three. Girls.

Don't judge everyone cos of your experience.
I am different.

Thank u

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 12:41pm On Nov 18, 2023
garriAndsugar:

Ok. I would love to read your experience with a madman, crippled, drunkard, orphan since you have seen it all

EFULEFU. You're the only mad man I've experienced so far and wish never to come across your type ever again.

True life experience. Enjoy the short read. cool
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jeezuzpick(m): 12:44pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
I just thought to share and again it's no bodys business what I share about myself here. I chose to do it and don't care if it sits well with anyone or not. My life, my share .

I'm sharing this just to let some ladies know that being a widower doesn't break a man and will not stop him from being an unrepentant cheat if he wants to. I used to think a widower will be more responsible and loyal to one woman considering the fact that he's now a second hand value bachelor and the death of his former wife will make him get closer and more committed to his spouse, home and family at large but I was wrong cos after my experience with one, I realized men will always be cheat men.

This happened in 2013 after staying away from relationships for a long time. So I joined Badoo ( it was the rave then, though I joined in 2012). A young man ( in his 40s then) chatted me up and I checked his profile. There he stated that he was looking for a lady for serious relationship and added he was a Christian. He was also looking very handsome and tall. We chatted and exchanged numbers.

When we got talking he told me he was a widower. It was hard to believe because he looked very young. He now told me he married very early. He went ahead and told me he has 6 children 👀👀👀. I didn't believe until he showed me their pics. 4 girls and two boys. He said the wife kept having children because she wanted a male child and died after giving birth to the last child, a male. She got home from the hospital after childbirth and started bleeding immediately and was rushed back to the hospital but never made it back. Meanwhile he was not in the country when this happened.

This made me have compassion and developed feelings for him. After a few months of inviting me over, I finally agreed to visit after he assured me the elder sister is staying with him to look after the baby ( he was already a year then but was not walking). He never liked the boy because he was always saying the boy caused his wifes death and each time the baby boy sees him, he'll be screaming due to the way he looks at the baby and I'll be telling him to stop, teasing him that it's him the boy resembles. So when I visited for the first time, I was shocked at what I saw. He actually owns the house he was living in in Sango. He built it when the going was good but after the wife's death, he came back and stayed for a whole year without a job. He just got the job he was doing as a hotel manager when I met him and his take home was not good at all. So to maintain the big house was a challenge. He could barely feed his kids. Even the two older ones were not with him. They were living with his brother just to ease him of the burden. when the sister saw me, she got angry and told him that he has not finished taking care of his children he's bringing in another lady. He told me to ignore the sister and face him. If I go there, I'll cook and serve everybody because he was always complaining of not having money but sometimes he'll give me part of the money I used.

Initially the children didn't like me and he said I should be buying them snacks. So then if I close from work, I'll go and meet him at his office and we'll go home together. I bought snacks and the children reluctantly collected the snacks. He went to work on that Saturday and I gathered the children and started telling them stories. They began to come close. When he got back he drove all of us to a football viewing center and bought me pepper soup. I thought I had found the right man. I was even saying I don't need to birth any children since he already has six. We'll just stay with his own children ( lol . small girl sense). He would tell me no, that he wants me to give him a beautiful daughter like me.

Six months into the relationship, I noticed something in his room while he was away at work. I saw a foreign prison card in his jacket I now began to connect the dots. I remembered him saying he was away when the wife died and while she was pregnant, he had problem abroad. So she developed BP. He even told me he wasn't around when his house was built that the wife supervised the whole thing before he now had a problem but be never told me what the problem was. I then discovered with the prison card, he was prolly in jail all that time. I didn't ask him anything.

Later he started telling me there's this single mother that has been begging him to marry her and she buys him stuff. I was like marry her now afterall two of una na second hand value. He'll laugh and say God forbid. That he wants chassis. The lady buys him and his children stuff. At a point I told him to stop collecting the gift or risk our relationship. He promised to stop.

One day he was sleeping and i was just going through his phone ( I never used to do that) and saw "my love". My head sparked. I woke him up with a heavy slap and showed him, he started saying its you I love. I said no! Tell me who this Is.. then I began to cry because I just knew it was over. He started begging and called his Aunty into the room. The aunty said the person is a family. I said call her. He now called the number and an elderly woman picked and he started telling her that I'm crying my eyes out here because I saw a message he sent to her. The woman spoke with me but I wasn't convinced. Throughout that night, he played "please forgive me' Brian Adams. hmm.. feeling nostalgic now. I calmed down and we continued.


After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship. After I lost my job I reduced my visits because bus fare from mainland to Sango was quite expensive and he too could not sponsor my visits regularly due to so much financial responsibilities and since I had been the one doing it when I was working. It became a once in a while thing.

Then one day, he told me to come to his office let's go home that he has missed me. I asked him, do you have money he said we'll manage. This man did not tell me we were going by train ( chai things we do for love) from his office we set out to oshodi. This man put head for train lane. I said waaaat t... I almost went back but it was already getting dark. I entered train for the first time. See me shaking. He had to hold me before one man now stood up for me to sit. Because it's been a while I've been to the house, when we got home, the aunty said you'll not stay in one place. Today you carry this, tomorrow you carry another one. I told him what the sister said and he told me not to mind her. In my mind i was like... see this second wen I dey manage too wan dey play ... I kept asking until he now confessed that the Aunt was referring to the other single mother that the lady has been forcing herself on him but it's me he wants. There and then I zeroed my mind.

After that visit, as we were going that morning, we quarreled on the way because the vehicle we borded got spoilt plus I wasn't happy after hearing what the sister said. So I was just edgy that morning and blasted the driver and some of the passengers. He got angry and left after trying to get me off the bus and I refused, saying I should run after him cos he's running late for work. I was just looking at him. I didn't get down. I waited for him to go far, I now got down and took another route to my house.

I didn't call for a week and refused to pick his calls because whats the point killing myself over a widower with six children who has refused to stick with one woman. When I eventually picked, it was my guy ( now ex) who told me to pick in the bus that day we were going to camp and he was chyking me. Oga kept calling and as usual I ignored him but the sound was disturbing our conversation so my gy told me to pick and hear him out. I picked and he was crying and put all his children on the phone to beg me. He said they are missing me and one of them is sick. I said ok, I'll call you later. That was it. I blocked him. Went to Badoo and blocked him there in fact I deleted my Badoo account. Deleted his number and ended the whole thing..

Men will always be men

Modified

When I said all men are the same what I'm simply implying is, whether they are poor, rich, widower or handicapped they will still cheat or have that tendency to cheat. Take it or get lost!

A man's vulnerability doesn't stop him from exhibiting those bad habits (cheating and deception). They'll will always do that thing that make us call them meennnn... If you know what I mean and if you don't Gerrit, forget abourit. cool.



Hmmmm.....you met a criminal.

There are billions of men on Earth o.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by GOVERNORR: 12:45pm On Nov 18, 2023
Well I agree men will always cheat..

Women will never cheat, even when they are single they won't cheat on their ex.

The other married woman one guy bleeps around me to only cheated on her rich husband by mistake

I trust women more

They are angels on earth
wink
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 12:45pm On Nov 18, 2023
Amayabor1:
After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship.

Please explain this. You were in a relationship and still wanted a relationship with your ex?

If he had not sacked you, you would have still be going out with him while you are in a relationship with someone else?

From your write up, I can deduce that you are not a serious person in life.

How old are you Biko? My basic 3 pupil dares not misconstrue that part of the story you highlited and come up with this kind of question, e go collect.

Read it again, this time slowly to comprehend.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by NewDea4: 12:46pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
I just thought to share and again it's no bodys business what I share about myself here. I chose to do it and don't care if it sits well with anyone or not. My life, my share .

I'm sharing this just to let some ladies know that being a widower doesn't break a man and will not stop him from being an unrepentant cheat if he wants to. I used to think a widower will be more responsible and loyal to one woman considering the fact that he's now a second hand value bachelor and the death of his former wife will make him get closer and more committed to his spouse, home and family at large but I was wrong cos after my experience with one, I realized men will always be cheat men.

This happened in 2013 after staying away from relationships for a long time. So I joined Badoo ( it was the rave then, though I joined in 2012). A young man ( in his 40s then) chatted me up and I checked his profile. There he stated that he was looking for a lady for serious relationship and added he was a Christian. He was also looking very handsome and tall. We chatted and exchanged numbers.

When we got talking he told me he was a widower. It was hard to believe because he looked very young. He now told me he married very early. He went ahead and told me he has 6 children 👀👀👀. I didn't believe until he showed me their pics. 4 girls and two boys. He said the wife kept having children because she wanted a male child and died after giving birth to the last child, a male. She got home from the hospital after childbirth and started bleeding immediately and was rushed back to the hospital but never made it back. Meanwhile he was not in the country when this happened.

This made me have compassion and developed feelings for him. After a few months of inviting me over, I finally agreed to visit after he assured me the elder sister is staying with him to look after the baby ( he was already a year then but was not walking). He never liked the boy because he was always saying the boy caused his wifes death and each time the baby boy sees him, he'll be screaming due to the way he looks at the baby and I'll be telling him to stop, teasing him that it's him the boy resembles. So when I visited for the first time, I was shocked at what I saw. He actually owns the house he was living in in Sango. He built it when the going was good but after the wife's death, he came back and stayed for a whole year without a job. He just got the job he was doing as a hotel manager when I met him and his take home was not good at all. So to maintain the big house was a challenge. He could barely feed his kids. Even the two older ones were not with him. They were living with his brother just to ease him of the burden. when the sister saw me, she got angry and told him that he has not finished taking care of his children he's bringing in another lady. He told me to ignore the sister and face him. If I go there, I'll cook and serve everybody because he was always complaining of not having money but sometimes he'll give me part of the money I used.

Initially the children didn't like me and he said I should be buying them snacks. So then if I close from work, I'll go and meet him at his office and we'll go home together. I bought snacks and the children reluctantly collected the snacks. He went to work on that Saturday and I gathered the children and started telling them stories. They began to come close. When he got back he drove all of us to a football viewing center and bought me pepper soup. I thought I had found the right man. I was even saying I don't need to birth any children since he already has six. We'll just stay with his own children ( lol . small girl sense). He would tell me no, that he wants me to give him a beautiful daughter like me.

Six months into the relationship, I noticed something in his room while he was away at work. I saw a foreign prison card in his jacket I now began to connect the dots. I remembered him saying he was away when the wife died and while she was pregnant, he had problem abroad. So she developed BP. He even told me he wasn't around when his house was built that the wife supervised the whole thing before he now had a problem but be never told me what the problem was. I then discovered with the prison card, he was prolly in jail all that time. I didn't ask him anything.

Later he started telling me there's this single mother that has been begging him to marry her and she buys him stuff. I was like marry her now afterall two of una na second hand value. He'll laugh and say God forbid. That he wants chassis. The lady buys him and his children stuff. At a point I told him to stop collecting the gift or risk our relationship. He promised to stop.

One day he was sleeping and i was just going through his phone ( I never used to do that) and saw "my love". My head sparked. I woke him up with a heavy slap and showed him, he started saying its you I love. I said no! Tell me who this Is.. then I began to cry because I just knew it was over. He started begging and called his Aunty into the room. The aunty said the person is a family. I said call her. He now called the number and an elderly woman picked and he started telling her that I'm crying my eyes out here because I saw a message he sent to her. The woman spoke with me but I wasn't convinced. Throughout that night, he played "please forgive me' Brian Adams. hmm.. feeling nostalgic now. I calmed down and we continued.


After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship. After I lost my job I reduced my visits because bus fare from mainland to Sango was quite expensive and he too could not sponsor my visits regularly due to so much financial responsibilities and since I had been the one doing it when I was working. It became a once in a while thing.

Then one day, he told me to come to his office let's go home that he has missed me. I asked him, do you have money he said we'll manage. This man did not tell me we were going by train ( chai things we do for love) from his office we set out to oshodi. This man put head for train lane. I said waaaat t... I almost went back but it was already getting dark. I entered train for the first time. See me shaking. He had to hold me before one man now stood up for me to sit. Because it's been a while I've been to the house, when we got home, the aunty said you'll not stay in one place. Today you carry this, tomorrow you carry another one. I told him what the sister said and he told me not to mind her. In my mind i was like... see this second wen I dey manage too wan dey play ... I kept asking until he now confessed that the Aunt was referring to the other single mother that the lady has been forcing herself on him but it's me he wants. There and then I zeroed my mind.

After that visit, as we were going that morning, we quarreled on the way because the vehicle we borded got spoilt plus I wasn't happy after hearing what the sister said. So I was just edgy that morning and blasted the driver and some of the passengers. He got angry and left after trying to get me off the bus and I refused, saying I should run after him cos he's running late for work. I was just looking at him. I didn't get down. I waited for him to go far, I now got down and took another route to my house.

I didn't call for a week and refused to pick his calls because whats the point killing myself over a widower with six children who has refused to stick with one woman. When I eventually picked, it was my guy ( now ex) who told me to pick in the bus that day we were going to camp and he was chyking me. Oga kept calling and as usual I ignored him but the sound was disturbing our conversation so my gy told me to pick and hear him out. I picked and he was crying and put all his children on the phone to beg me. He said they are missing me and one of them is sick. I said ok, I'll call you later. That was it. I blocked him. Went to Badoo and blocked him there in fact I deleted my Badoo account. Deleted his number and ended the whole thing..

Men will always be men

Modified

When I said all men are the same what I'm simply implying is, whether they are poor, rich, widower or handicapped they will still cheat or have that tendency to cheat. Take it or get lost!

A man's vulnerability doesn't stop him from exhibiting those bad habits (cheating and deception). They'll will always do that thing that make us call them meennnn... If you know what I mean and if you don't Gerrit, forget abourit. cool.



After you do olocho finish you are now hunting the single-fathers

Ntorr!
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Erikposi(m): 12:47pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
I just thought to share and again it's no bodys business what I share about myself here. I chose to do it and don't care if it sits well with anyone or not. My life, my share .

I'm sharing this just to let some ladies know that being a widower doesn't break a man and will not stop him from being an unrepentant cheat if he wants to. I used to think a widower will be more responsible and loyal to one woman considering the fact that he's now a second hand value bachelor and the death of his former wife will make him get closer and more committed to his spouse, home and family at large but I was wrong cos after my experience with one, I realized men will always be cheat men.

This happened in 2013 after staying away from relationships for a long time. So I joined Badoo ( it was the rave then, though I joined in 2012). A young man ( in his 40s then) chatted me up and I checked his profile. There he stated that he was looking for a lady for serious relationship and added he was a Christian. He was also looking very handsome and tall. We chatted and exchanged numbers.

When we got talking he told me he was a widower. It was hard to believe because he looked very young. He now told me he married very early. He went ahead and told me he has 6 children 👀👀👀. I didn't believe until he showed me their pics. 4 girls and two boys. He said the wife kept having children because she wanted a male child and died after giving birth to the last child, a male. She got home from the hospital after childbirth and started bleeding immediately and was rushed back to the hospital but never made it back. Meanwhile he was not in the country when this happened.

This made me have compassion and developed feelings for him. After a few months of inviting me over, I finally agreed to visit after he assured me the elder sister is staying with him to look after the baby ( he was already a year then but was not walking). He never liked the boy because he was always saying the boy caused his wifes death and each time the baby boy sees him, he'll be screaming due to the way he looks at the baby and I'll be telling him to stop, teasing him that it's him the boy resembles. So when I visited for the first time, I was shocked at what I saw. He actually owns the house he was living in in Sango. He built it when the going was good but after the wife's death, he came back and stayed for a whole year without a job. He just got the job he was doing as a hotel manager when I met him and his take home was not good at all. So to maintain the big house was a challenge. He could barely feed his kids. Even the two older ones were not with him. They were living with his brother just to ease him of the burden. when the sister saw me, she got angry and told him that he has not finished taking care of his children he's bringing in another lady. He told me to ignore the sister and face him. If I go there, I'll cook and serve everybody because he was always complaining of not having money but sometimes he'll give me part of the money I used.

Initially the children didn't like me and he said I should be buying them snacks. So then if I close from work, I'll go and meet him at his office and we'll go home together. I bought snacks and the children reluctantly collected the snacks. He went to work on that Saturday and I gathered the children and started telling them stories. They began to come close. When he got back he drove all of us to a football viewing center and bought me pepper soup. I thought I had found the right man. I was even saying I don't need to birth any children since he already has six. We'll just stay with his own children ( lol . small girl sense). He would tell me no, that he wants me to give him a beautiful daughter like me.

Six months into the relationship, I noticed something in his room while he was away at work. I saw a foreign prison card in his jacket I now began to connect the dots. I remembered him saying he was away when the wife died and while she was pregnant, he had problem abroad. So she developed BP. He even told me he wasn't around when his house was built that the wife supervised the whole thing before he now had a problem but be never told me what the problem was. I then discovered with the prison card, he was prolly in jail all that time. I didn't ask him anything.

Later he started telling me there's this single mother that has been begging him to marry her and she buys him stuff. I was like marry her now afterall two of una na second hand value. He'll laugh and say God forbid. That he wants chassis. The lady buys him and his children stuff. At a point I told him to stop collecting the gift or risk our relationship. He promised to stop.

One day he was sleeping and i was just going through his phone ( I never used to do that) and saw "my love". My head sparked. I woke him up with a heavy slap and showed him, he started saying its you I love. I said no! Tell me who this Is.. then I began to cry because I just knew it was over. He started begging and called his Aunty into the room. The aunty said the person is a family. I said call her. He now called the number and an elderly woman picked and he started telling her that I'm crying my eyes out here because I saw a message he sent to her. The woman spoke with me but I wasn't convinced. Throughout that night, he played "please forgive me' Brian Adams. hmm.. feeling nostalgic now. I calmed down and we continued.


After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship. After I lost my job I reduced my visits because bus fare from mainland to Sango was quite expensive and he too could not sponsor my visits regularly due to so much financial responsibilities and since I had been the one doing it when I was working. It became a once in a while thing.

Then one day, he told me to come to his office let's go home that he has missed me. I asked him, do you have money he said we'll manage. This man did not tell me we were going by train ( chai things we do for love) from his office we set out to oshodi. This man put head for train lane. I said waaaat t... I almost went back but it was already getting dark. I entered train for the first time. See me shaking. He had to hold me before one man now stood up for me to sit. Because it's been a while I've been to the house, when we got home, the aunty said you'll not stay in one place. Today you carry this, tomorrow you carry another one. I told him what the sister said and he told me not to mind her. In my mind i was like... see this second wen I dey manage too wan dey play ... I kept asking until he now confessed that the Aunt was referring to the other single mother that the lady has been forcing herself on him but it's me he wants. There and then I zeroed my mind.

After that visit, as we were going that morning, we quarreled on the way because the vehicle we borded got spoilt plus I wasn't happy after hearing what the sister said. So I was just edgy that morning and blasted the driver and some of the passengers. He got angry and left after trying to get me off the bus and I refused, saying I should run after him cos he's running late for work. I was just looking at him. I didn't get down. I waited for him to go far, I now got down and took another route to my house.

I didn't call for a week and refused to pick his calls because whats the point killing myself over a widower with six children who has refused to stick with one woman. When I eventually picked, it was my guy ( now ex) who told me to pick in the bus that day we were going to camp and he was chyking me. Oga kept calling and as usual I ignored him but the sound was disturbing our conversation so my gy told me to pick and hear him out. I picked and he was crying and put all his children on the phone to beg me. He said they are missing me and one of them is sick. I said ok, I'll call you later. That was it. I blocked him. Went to Badoo and blocked him there in fact I deleted my Badoo account. Deleted his number and ended the whole thing..

Men will always be men

Modified

When I said all men are the same what I'm simply implying is, whether they are poor, rich, widower or handicapped they will still cheat or have that tendency to cheat. Take it or get lost!

A man's vulnerability doesn't stop him from exhibiting those bad habits (cheating and deception). They'll will always do that thing that make us call them meennnn... If you know what I mean and if you don't Gerrit, forget abourit. cool.




The bitter truth is that a man will for sure cheat on a woman at least once in his life-time whether by mistake or intentionally but my take is that the man should respect the woman by doing so without her knowing. Do your shit very far from her or outside. Respect her and regard her as your one and only.😒🥺

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Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Erikposi(m): 12:48pm On Nov 18, 2023
The bitter truth is that a man will for sure cheat on a woman at least once in his life-time whether by mistake or intentionally but my take is that the man should respect the woman by doing so without her knowing. Do your shit very far from her or outside. Respect her and regard her as your one and only.😒🥺

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by BreconHills(m): 12:48pm On Nov 18, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
I just thought to share and again it's no bodys business what I share about myself here. I chose to do it and don't care if it sits well with anyone or not. My life, my share .

I'm sharing this just to let some ladies know that being a widower doesn't break a man and will not stop him from being an unrepentant cheat if he wants to. I used to think a widower will be more responsible and loyal to one woman considering the fact that he's now a second hand value bachelor and the death of his former wife will make him get closer and more committed to his spouse, home and family at large but I was wrong cos after my experience with one, I realized men will always be cheat men.

This happened in 2013 after staying away from relationships for a long time. So I joined Badoo ( it was the rave then, though I joined in 2012). A young man ( in his 40s then) chatted me up and I checked his profile. There he stated that he was looking for a lady for serious relationship and added he was a Christian. He was also looking very handsome and tall. We chatted and exchanged numbers.


From experience.

Divorce or bereavement is a nuclear blast zone. Irrespective of however well a man ( or a woman) may appear to have it all together, they are leaking radiation from the bomb fallout. The first few people they meet may get hurt because they are damaged. Indecisive, only their sexuality may be working, because at this stage only muscle memory is working

The questions any man/woman meeting such a person should ask is

1. Am I the first second or third after the nuclear blast?
2. Do they realize they are damaged?
3. Do they know they must play the long patient game with themselves?
4. Are they surrounded by a truthful, loving community?
5. Are they sexually back in control?

There is usually a good man ( or woman) under the debris. The question is do you have the time and are you prepared to make the effort to dig through the debris to find their best self?

It's very difficult. Someone will find it someday. Does it have to be you?

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Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jewessgratitud3: 12:49pm On Nov 18, 2023
gbeseun:
I am a man.
I don't cheat
My type are rare.
I am married and with three. Girls.

Don't judge everyone cos of your experience.
I am different.

Thank u

Ok.
No vex for the generalizations.
Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Jomonix: 12:49pm On Nov 18, 2023
Quite an experience. You seem to be a nice person. I hope you find someone who would make a compatible partner with you

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Re: My Experience With A Widower. All Men Are The Same by Erikposi(m): 12:51pm On Nov 18, 2023
illicit:
You have had your chances with young handsome single men in your prime

You blew it


Now u are getting shorter

So what u see is what u get....

The bitter truth is that a man will for sure cheat on a woman at least once in his life-time whether by mistake or intentionally but my take is that the man should respect the woman by doing so without her knowing. Do your shit very far from her or outside. Respect her and regard her as your one and only.😒🥺
Enjoy your life

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