I dont even call it controlling its scamming and conning.

What do you call pretending you are ok with it till the ring gets on your finger and you start giving him hell?

So she didnt like it when they were dating but just kept quiet and schemed till they were married when he doesnt have anywhere to go again.

That it baddd

This is NOT about drinking beer. This is NOT about the poster's health. This is NOT about him being drunk or tipsy. . .This is about manipulation and control. She wants to "mould" the poster into the "perfect husband". Don't fall for it! ! !

Next thing, she'll be telling you what to wear,where to go and who to visit. Next thing she will tell you she doesn't like your friends (especially the ones that can give you sound advice) and your family members irritate her (but hers are free to pop in at anytime).

The "joys" of marriage has started. If you are dumb enough to "negotiate" with her, you are finished.

Mark my words.

NB: I wonder why people keep mixing religion with marriage. Pastor is a human being like you who is probably going through worse marital problems and has no one to complain to. I've seen a lot of relationships and promising marriages ruined all because of reetarded advice coming from "pastors" and "men of god". Use your head! It has a purpose.

@Harakiri,
thank you very much.
@Phemmy
I never said am only happy when am drinking Beer. I do not even drink beer every day. At times, I may not even touch the stuff for weeks.
All I want is the freedom to chill out with my favourite drink whenever I want without being condemned.

@ Poster, i really do not know the level of your drinking that would make your wife complain about it. Personally i can never tell my hubby to stop drinking, infact we drink together, and that is only because he drinks like a normal human being and not to the point of falling into the gutter or mis-behaving.

No woman wants an animal as a husband. I would rather you do not see it as her trying to control you or moulding you to that hubby she wants. (she herself knows she cannot succeed, doing that, unless she wants to deceive herself). If you are a heavy drinker, reduce it (don't stop) at least that would make both of you happy.

coolruler:

@Harakiri,
thank you very much.
@Phemmy
I never said am only happy when am drinking Beer. [b]I do not even drink beer every day. At times, I may not even touch the stuff for weeks.[/b]All I want is the freedom to chill out with my favourite drink whenever I want without being condemned.

Since you don't drink heavy, you have nothing to worry about. She will be fine.

Dont let Nigerian Breweries catch this lady, she wan cause bad market?

Nothing can be compared to a chilled bottle of beer when needed not even the most expensive wine. I think you should try sitting her down and explain to her, cos I did that with my woman and she agreed that anytime I want to drink I should pla drink at home and that's if my friends are not around. But when they are around I can hang out with them. Please try make her understand. Or better still try pay her in her own coin. Look for that thing she likes doing and ask her to stop doing it. Then you'll make her understand how you feel with the beer thingy.

I don't drink and neither does my husband. So drinking is besides the point. I would never have married a drinking person anyway - non-negotiatiable.

Her behaviour is more of a scheming thing, because she never complained about it before and that was on purpose.

You have to negotiate with her, if she doesn't bend then it means she is unreasonable and you didn't do your due dillgence well before you married her.

If you asked me today, I'll advice you to stop drinking, more for your health than to keep your wife happy.

However, if you stop drinking today, you will be sending the wrong message, so negotiate instead. As her what she doesnt like about the drinking, is it the frequency, how it affects your behaviour etc. Then change that and you can decide to stop drinking subsequently.

If she cant articulate what the real issue is, then she just wants to flex her muscles.

Also tell her never again to report you to an outsider, (in a nice way). You are too young in marriage to be telling your issues to 3rd parties even if it is a Pastor.

May she never meet a "Pastor" that will advise her in a way that will ruin her marriage.

We women can control our husbands if and when we want to, We have it our genes, it is who we are!.

We can also do it subtly that the man will never realise we have the remote and he will be a happy puppy, all the hile thinking he is in charge! lol!.

That's why the bible says "a wise woman builds up her house with her hands and a foolish woman tears it down!.

^^^^ negotiate?! on what grounds? if so be it then let this man pick anything he ¨accepted¨about his wife (maybe wearing weave) and negotiate on her NOT wearing them any longer,. . . . . . .  and let us all hear how the negotiation will go. lol!!

i am also VERY sorry to let you in on a little secret: women have little control over men (and vice versa), many just do what they do because they want to be at peace in their own homes. i mean, let us all be honest here: apart from using coochie, most women have NO LEVERAGE in marriage WHATSOEVER (and as of today, coochie comes a dime a dozen on the stock market, lol)

She's asking you to choose between the occasional Heineken and her??
This woman sounds like trouble (no offense). What sort of a petty ultimatum
is she going to throw at you next?