ednut1:
i can never understand that ish. a man was a womanizer during the dating phase, you were also one of his side chicks at a point. But you expect faithfulness from him haha haha

Greatmind653:

What's the right thing to do here?

Felix6:

Exactly. All I read is a woman whose husband is currently facing challenges, must have lost his job or business is bad for a while.
She didn't tell us how things were, when she was busy opening legs for the man to produce the boys, and how things were growing to the stage they are now. Suddenly he has become irresponsible, because he now eats from what she provides.

The man didn't run to nairaland.com to narrate how she was eating what he provides when the going was good for him.
Woman you are only looking for the final nail in the coffin for him, which you have deceptively come to seek through public opinion on a faceless forum.
What ever backing you get from here will never stop your conscience from pricking you.
Because you have done him dirty already with these rubbish you spewed here.

millionboi2:
read the post again,she said it that she knew he was a gambler.

Greatmind653:
Pls, if you don't really understand this post, don't comment please. If you're gender bias, pls, read and ignore.

Good morning kind hearted people in the house. Pls, I need honest and matured advice from experience and knowledgeable people in the house.

How can I train my sons especially my 11yrs old boy into a good, respectful, well behaved young man in a situation where he constantly see his father in gambling addiction, and the house is not always peaceful because of this?

How can I make them believe that the fact that their father does not provide anything for them nor anything in the house, does not mean they're not good enough?
My son has learnt the habit of not asking his Dad for anything no matter how little because he knows the answer already. He would rather starve than ask him for anything. Every of his needs, he will patiently wait for me.

I practically provide everything in the house and he knows. Infact my husband and my two sons can be in the house hungry for the whole day if I'm not around.
Any money he has is strictly for betting. He wouldn't even use it to feed himself not to talk of his children.
He eat anything I provide in the house without him providing. Most times it's very annoying.
Most times, we don't talk to each other in this house, yet anything I cook, he must eat.
I'm trying my best, because I can't watch my kids go hungry or stay without light, water, TV subscriptions and the rest. But once he's holding TV remote, no one dare change the channel.

How can I train well behaved young boys in a home like this? I'm so lonely and worried for my children too.

I'm no longer traumatized by his gambling addiction, because I have tried everything, and it didn't work if this is the life he wants, then fine.

I'm traveling with my two boys for the Christmas and I intend to stay in my family house for a very long time. Maybe not to return back here.
This house, I shoulder the house rent, all the bills all for the sake of my children. I don't want a broken home. I don't want my children growing up lonely without the presence of their both parents. But, am I doing the right thing here?
My husband has refused to change for years. all efforts, complain, family intervention all failed.
He's been in gambling even before we got married. I have endure for so long and I'm scared if what I'm enduring really worth it.

I've given up either.

Am I making my children better by staying together here or they could be better when we're apart?
Anyone experience this before?

What's the right thing to do here?

preshpraiz:
My dear, I can relate to you because I have a first hand experience of what you are going through. Please keep providing for your boys, God will always come through for you.
As for the deadbeat dad, karma is real. He will definitely reap what he is sowing
I have managed to teach my children contentment, even if it's garri and sugar that I can afford, we all drink it in joy and lots of laughter. Contentment has really helped me.
FYI some men will blame you for his addiction to gambling, they will say you nagged him into gambling. Wait for them, they will soon land but sweetheart I will advice you press the IGNORE BUTTON.

boxypane:
Gambling is a disease everyone should run away from. It's high time the FG look into this. It is not an investment to the country, it's a negative addiction on people. My dad is managing this condition. I was affected too but thank God.
Ma, your husband needs therapy. Tell him no "grand audit" anywhere.
The journey to recovery starts with a step.
N.T You are taking the right step ma.

tbliss22:



Until our government wake up from their slumber to regulate these betting hubs here and there...

Gambling is wrecking homes, sending able men to debts.... Gambling is a bloody addiction...

That man won't change, a fool at 40 is almost a fool forever...

Take your kids far away and accept your fate to Carter for them till adulthood

Greatmind653:
Pls, if you don't really understand this post, don't comment please. If you're gender bias, pls, read and ignore.

Good morning kind hearted people in the house. Pls, I need honest and matured advice from experience and knowledgeable people in the house.

How can I train my sons especially my 11yrs old boy into a good, respectful, well behaved young man in a situation where he constantly see his father in gambling addiction, and the house is not always peaceful because of this?

How can I make them believe that the fact that their father does not provide anything for them nor anything in the house, does not mean they're not good enough?
My son has learnt the habit of not asking his Dad for anything no matter how little because he knows the answer already. He would rather starve than ask him for anything. Every of his needs, he will patiently wait for me.

I practically provide everything in the house and he knows. Infact my husband and my two sons can be in the house hungry for the whole day if I'm not around.
Any money he has is strictly for betting. He wouldn't even use it to feed himself not to talk of his children.
He eat anything I provide in the house without him providing. Most times it's very annoying.
Most times, we don't talk to each other in this house, yet anything I cook, he must eat.
I'm trying my best, because I can't watch my kids go hungry or stay without light, water, TV subscriptions and the rest. But once he's holding TV remote, no one dare change the channel.

How can I train well behaved young boys in a home like this? I'm so lonely and worried for my children too.

I'm no longer traumatized by his gambling addiction, because I have tried everything, and it didn't work if this is the life he wants, then fine.

I'm traveling with my two boys for the Christmas and I intend to stay in my family house for a very long time. Maybe not to return back here.
This house, I shoulder the house rent, all the bills all for the sake of my children. I don't want a broken home. I don't want my children growing up lonely without the presence of their both parents. But, am I doing the right thing here?
My husband has refused to change for years. all efforts, complain, family intervention all failed.
He's been in gambling even before we got married. I have endure for so long and I'm scared if what I'm enduring really worth it.

I've given up either.

Am I making my children better by staying together here or they could be better when we're apart?
Anyone experience this before?

What's the right thing to do here?

Felix6:

Hm, you are probably a simp. I pray you don't meet manipulative woman as a wife.
Have you ask her when she changed her name to Endurance.
Over 11 years atleast there was no noise because the "now irresponsible man" was providing for the home, apparently things have taken a down turn for him now, names calling have started, soon she would add alcohol and finally womanising.
Woman, May God have mercy on you, if you like take your children to the moon, what will be will be.

Greatmind653:
Pls, if you don't really understand this post, don't comment please. If you're gender bias, pls, read and ignore.

Good morning kind hearted people in the house. Pls, I need honest and matured advice from experience and knowledgeable people in the house.

How can I train my sons especially my 11yrs old boy into a good, respectful, well behaved young man in a situation where he constantly see his father in gambling addiction, and the house is not always peaceful because of this?

How can I make them believe that the fact that their father does not provide anything for them nor anything in the house, does not mean they're not good enough?
My son has learnt the habit of not asking his Dad for anything no matter how little because he knows the answer already. He would rather starve than ask him for anything. Every of his needs, he will patiently wait for me.

I practically provide everything in the house and he knows. Infact my husband and my two sons can be in the house hungry for the whole day if I'm not around.
Any money he has is strictly for betting. He wouldn't even use it to feed himself not to talk of his children.
He eat anything I provide in the house without him providing. Most times it's very annoying.
Most times, we don't talk to each other in this house, yet anything I cook, he must eat.
I'm trying my best, because I can't watch my kids go hungry or stay without light, water, TV subscriptions and the rest. But once he's holding TV remote, no one dare change the channel.

How can I train well behaved young boys in a home like this? I'm so lonely and worried for my children too.

I'm no longer traumatized by his gambling addiction, because I have tried everything, and it didn't work if this is the life he wants, then fine.

I'm traveling with my two boys for the Christmas and I intend to stay in my family house for a very long time. Maybe not to return back here.
This house, I shoulder the house rent, all the bills all for the sake of my children. I don't want a broken home. I don't want my children growing up lonely without the presence of their both parents. But, am I doing the right thing here?
My husband has refused to change for years. all efforts, complain, family intervention all failed.
He's been in gambling even before we got married. I have endure for so long and I'm scared if what I'm enduring really worth it.

I've given up either.

Am I making my children better by staying together here or they could be better when we're apart?
Anyone experience this before?

What's the right thing to do here?

Basicend:
Look, woman, we have to admit responsibility for our decisions in life.

You knew he was gambling before you married him, so you should have prepared for such repercussions.

Do you expect him to stop a habit? Even in marriage when financial responsibilities keeps climbing?

My advice; stay in the marriage if you still love him, and pray passionately with well-timed counsels for him to shift.

As per the kids, you just have to let them know clearly that you don't want them to follow such ways. You have to be very close to them and try to take good care of them while in this challenge. In the future, if you have funds or means, you can send them abroad to school.

It's still a one-sided story. That is my take.

Greatmind653:
Pls, if you don't really understand this post, don't comment please. If you're gender bias, pls, read and ignore.

Good morning kind hearted people in the house. Pls, I need honest and matured advice from experience and knowledgeable people in the house.

How can I train my sons especially my 11yrs old boy into a good, respectful, well behaved young man in a situation where he constantly see his father in gambling addiction, and the house is not always peaceful because of this?

How can I make them believe that the fact that their father does not provide anything for them nor anything in the house, does not mean they're not good enough?
My son has learnt the habit of not asking his Dad for anything no matter how little because he knows the answer already. He would rather starve than ask him for anything. Every of his needs, he will patiently wait for me.

I practically provide everything in the house and he knows. Infact my husband and my two sons can be in the house hungry for the whole day if I'm not around.
Any money he has is strictly for betting. He wouldn't even use it to feed himself not to talk of his children.
He eat anything I provide in the house without him providing. Most times it's very annoying.
Most times, we don't talk to each other in this house, yet anything I cook, he must eat.
I'm trying my best, because I can't watch my kids go hungry or stay without light, water, TV subscriptions and the rest. But once he's holding TV remote, no one dare change the channel.

How can I train well behaved young boys in a home like this? I'm so lonely and worried for my children too.

I'm no longer traumatized by his gambling addiction, because I have tried everything, and it didn't work if this is the life he wants, then fine.

I'm traveling with my two boys for the Christmas and I intend to stay in my family house for a very long time. Maybe not to return back here.
This house, I shoulder the house rent, all the bills all for the sake of my children. I don't want a broken home. I don't want my children growing up lonely without the presence of their both parents. But, am I doing the right thing here?
My husband has refused to change for years. all efforts, complain, family intervention all failed.
He's been in gambling even before we got married. I have endure for so long and I'm scared if what I'm enduring really worth it.

I've given up either.

Am I making my children better by staying together here or they could be better when we're apart?
Anyone experience this before?

What's the right thing to do here?

Greatmind653:
Pls, if you don't really understand this post, don't comment please. If you're gender bias, pls, read and ignore.

Good morning kind hearted people in the house. Pls, I need honest and matured advice from experience and knowledgeable people in the house.

How can I train my sons especially my 11yrs old boy into a good, respectful, well behaved young man in a situation where he constantly see his father in gambling addiction, and the house is not always peaceful because of this?

How can I make them believe that the fact that their father does not provide anything for them nor anything in the house, does not mean they're not good enough?
My son has learnt the habit of not asking his Dad for anything no matter how little because he knows the answer already. He would rather starve than ask him for anything. Every of his needs, he will patiently wait for me.

I practically provide everything in the house and he knows. Infact my husband and my two sons can be in the house hungry for the whole day if I'm not around.
Any money he has is strictly for betting. He wouldn't even use it to feed himself not to talk of his children.
He eat anything I provide in the house without him providing. Most times it's very annoying.
Most times, we don't talk to each other in this house, yet anything I cook, he must eat.
I'm trying my best, because I can't watch my kids go hungry or stay without light, water, TV subscriptions and the rest. But once he's holding TV remote, no one dare change the channel.

How can I train well behaved young boys in a home like this? I'm so lonely and worried for my children too.

I'm no longer traumatized by his gambling addiction, because I have tried everything, and it didn't work if this is the life he wants, then fine.

I'm traveling with my two boys for the Christmas and I intend to stay in my family house for a very long time. Maybe not to return back here.
This house, I shoulder the house rent, all the bills all for the sake of my children. I don't want a broken home. I don't want my children growing up lonely without the presence of their both parents. But, am I doing the right thing here?
My husband has refused to change for years. all efforts, complain, family intervention all failed.
He's been in gambling even before we got married. I have endure for so long and I'm scared if what I'm enduring really worth it.

I've given up either.

Am I making my children better by staying together here or they could be better when we're apart?
Anyone experience this before?

What's the right thing to do here?

GreatAchiever1:
.

You misuse the word simp. I do agree women can be manipulative, no doubt, but the point is not to ask what happened during the 11 years where there was no complaint but to deal with the issues at hand and help and encourage the husband to get back on his feet and be responsible once again instead of the unnecessary disrespect.

Peejayz:
What I know is that as you keep feeding him and paying the bills, your husband has nothing to worry about, so he will keep on gambling.

Make him have something to worry about.... He will work for money

Felix6:

Hm, you are probably a simp. I pray you don't meet manipulative woman as a wife.
Have you ask her when she changed her name to Endurance.
Over 11 years atleast there was no noise because the "now irresponsible man" was providing for the home, apparently things have taken a down turn for him now, names calling have started, soon she would add alcohol and finally womanising.
Woman, May God have mercy on you, if you like take your children to the moon, what will be will be.

Felix6:

Did she state anywhere in her gibberish that she wants empowerment/encouragement for the man? She's simply asking for opinions on how to further isolate him or bolt with the children.
That's why I am amazed at your seemingly easy emotional stand on the matter, no disrespect intended.

Greatmind653:
Pls, if you don't really understand this post, don't comment please. If you're gender bias, pls, read and ignore.

Good morning kind hearted people in the house. Pls, I need honest and matured advice from experience and knowledgeable people in the house.

How can I train my sons especially my 11yrs old boy into a good, respectful, well behaved young man in a situation where he constantly see his father in gambling addiction, and the house is not always peaceful because of this?

How can I make them believe that the fact that their father does not provide anything for them nor anything in the house, does not mean they're not good enough?
My son has learnt the habit of not asking his Dad for anything no matter how little because he knows the answer already. He would rather starve than ask him for anything. Every of his needs, he will patiently wait for me.

I practically provide everything in the house and he knows. Infact my husband and my two sons can be in the house hungry for the whole day if I'm not around.
Any money he has is strictly for betting. He wouldn't even use it to feed himself not to talk of his children.
He eat anything I provide in the house without him providing. Most times it's very annoying.
Most times, we don't talk to each other in this house, yet anything I cook, he must eat.
I'm trying my best, because I can't watch my kids go hungry or stay without light, water, TV subscriptions and the rest. But once he's holding TV remote, no one dare change the channel.

How can I train well behaved young boys in a home like this? I'm so lonely and worried for my children too.

I'm no longer traumatized by his gambling addiction, because I have tried everything, and it didn't work if this is the life he wants, then fine.

I'm traveling with my two boys for the Christmas and I intend to stay in my family house for a very long time. Maybe not to return back here.
This house, I shoulder the house rent, all the bills all for the sake of my children. I don't want a broken home. I don't want my children growing up lonely without the presence of their both parents. But, am I doing the right thing here?
My husband has refused to change for years. all efforts, complain, family intervention all failed.
He's been in gambling even before we got married. I have endure for so long and I'm scared if what I'm enduring really worth it.

I've given up either.

Am I making my children better by staying together here or they could be better when we're apart?
Anyone experience this before?

What's the right thing to do here?

SmileDance:
You are not making your children better by staying there enduring or else they will grow up with the mentality that they can be irresponsible and expect their wives to also endure.
Since you've already decided to go to your family house, I hope you have solid plans in place how to take care of your children.
I would have said being a single parent is not easy at all, but then again you are a single parent already and your husband is an extra burden for you. Just takes care of your kids and train them well so they don't follow their father's footsteps.