olayinka63:
@BlackfyreRebell has the Son's father providing child support and upkeep before this recent travel plan? Since the child is 10 years old. Has he been providing regular support for the last 10 years? If yes, you can allow the child to go but with a well spelt out plan of how to communicate with the child and how the child will visit you or you visit him. This plan should be endorsed by a court of law or lawyer.

If he has not been regularly providing child support for the last 10 years, I advise not sending the child across. Let him also work on court or lawyer process on how to get across to his child. This process will give you the chance to claim all the support cost for the last 10 years.

Regards.

See wickedness...and you are advising somebody

ChybuzzDD:


Is she the sole owner??

You guys should stop this nonsense

Don't mind this people, by law wether traditional or civil, the child is more of the male parent, I don't know the reason why they (women) always calm "my" child(ren) especially after a divorce.

The woman is trying to cause that innocent boy a better life and if he grows up in this shit hole and finds out that his mother was the reason he is still a Nigerian citizen only, he might even kill her, especially if he is not doing so well in Nigeria.

BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. He recently acquired an European citizenship, he also wants to extend the citizenship to our son. Though I thought it a good idea but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to use that to take him away from me.
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father. Or is that the way they process it?
Please those that have gone through same should please come to my aid, this is my only child and I can't afford to lose my child this way.

I think the best way to go about it is for him to file for both of you to visit on vacation

Then you come back together

Then if he has to relocate then he should sponsor for both of you to relocate

When you get there, you stay with your son and he schools under your roof even if his dad is the one paying his upkeep

The he will have full access to him while living with you

Anything short of this, your son Is gone forever till God knows when you will see him again

If he can't file for both of you then he should forget it
Mid he wants to see his son he should visit him at home

Justiceleague1:


Still doesn't change the fact that it's better out there in Europe for the kid

And If he goes later, they will pursue him

Must he go now or through the father? Abeg park well

BadBradley:
I see a lot of drug addicts, coogars and sociopaths in your list.

Seems like you idea of success is measured by celebrity status.

You shouldn't have wasted your time typing all that poetic sentiments up there.

I will point you to a simple fact: the far majority of teenage pregnancies are from single mother homes. Also American jails are full of African American men from single mother homes as well

Dust off the sentiment.

You chose to see what you saw.

When I started going through the list, I saw a lot of names that I won't be proud of mentioning when describing success.

But Bleep me. Who am I to Judge?

What's your name again?

Yeah. You figured it out... You don't come close to any of the drug dealers in that list.

And I forgot to mention... I didn't type that list... It's copy and paste...

Here's a link to the main article...

https://www.nairaland.com/2031721/famous-celebs-grew-up-single

OP for no bring this mata come here. Most ladies here dey think with their yansh. He should bring both of them ko both of them ni.

See ehn I dnt no the personality of your husband but you may have to put your son first. There is barely any future for anyone in Nigeria especially youths.

Whatever you decide make sure it's what's best for the kid and not you satisfying your insecurities.

lawrenzooo:


My Dad's friend who is Canadian wanted to take me to Canada after secondary school for studies after asking if I would be interested and I answered in the affirmative.

All of a sudden the man went mute, after about 3 months I asked the man and he said my parent didn't consent, when i eventually asked my parent i realized it was my dad that refused, its been 18 years now and our relationship never remained the same.

Whatever decision you make put the child's interest first.

I'll bet all the money in my accounts that you don't have a family. You don't have a son.

When you eventually have one, you'll realise how your dad felt when his friend said he wants to take you to Canada.

You think it is easy for a parent to release his child to a stranger.

You guys are funny. I swear

Go and get married.

Get a child. Then you'll apologize to your father.

LilMissFavvy:
Don't release your child. You should only allow the boy to go when he's 18- 20yrs. If you release your child to him, he will definitely manipulate the boy and cut links with you. Keep your child. What stops him from taking you along? Be wise.

Take her along? They have been divorced for 2yes now.. And the boy is for both of them


Please for Gods sake dont take any advice from women here. They hardly read and understand posts be fore commenting without reasoning.

nubianchio:
Firstly, your son is HIS child just as equally as is yours so please stop using the word "my child".

Secondly, signing a consent form for travel purposes is just a legal requirement that covers the question of safe custody of a minor in the hands of a another parent or guardian, as is your case (divorced parents). It is not a ploy to take "your" child by your ex-husband. It is just a requirement!

Thirdly, consider the fact that if your son turns 18 (for most country), your ex may never be able to confer his citizenship status to your son. By that age, if your child must travel out by then, he is going to do so on whatever visa he applies for- whether as tourist, student or whatever. Now that he is below 18, it is easier for the father to process his papers for citizenship for that country.

Lastly, if your son does travel and is going to university by the time he becomes a teenager, the university education may be way cheaper or free with incentives. Compared to his finishing school in Nigeria, the cost may be too for you both for a private Uni or his academic time may be uncertain if he attends a public Uni. Also note that peer pressure exists everywhere. Your son is more certain to graduate alive abroad comparing how students die of cultism in Nigeria to those in western world (cultism here is almost none existent- speaking as one who studied here).

Summarily, look at the benefits. He might be your rescue too in just a few years with his better education and career prospects here, maybe hopefully filing for you as a parent to visit or relocate over.

Think of what is in your son's best interest. Not yours or your ex. The system abroad has social services so there is a limit on how a child may go abused un-noticed if that is your concern.

You people should stop exaggerating things, the number of students who die as a result of cultism are a minute percentage.

Going to school abroad is not all rosy also, the boy could wake up one day and say he wants to be identified as non-binary or become a homosexual.

I'm sure even you would prefer to have son who is a cultist than one who is a homo!

femi4:
And If he goes later, they will pursue him

Must he go now or through the father? Abeg park well

Park well,you ain't his father

flexyrule:
I'll bet all the money in my accounts that you don't have a family. You don't have a son.

When you eventually have one, you'll realise how your dad felt when his friend said he wants to take you to Canada.

You think it is easy for a parent to release his child to a stranger.

You guys are funny. I swear

Go and get married.

Get a child. Then you'll apologize to your father.

oga hot pants ....your list is filled with gangsters, drug addicts, divorcees with estranged families. Actresses and actors. Movie celebrities.

You're really really peculiar.

BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. He recently acquired an European citizenship, he also wants to extend the citizenship to our son. Though I thought it a good idea but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to use that to take him away from me.
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father. Or is that the way they process it?
Please those that have gone through same should please come to my aid, this is my only child and I can't afford to lose my child this way.

na you know. Cage the boy in this shithole. When he grows up and find out that you scuttled his chance of having a dual citizenship in a better country he will probably kill you

BadBradley:
oga hot pants ....your list is filled with gangsters, drug addicts, divorcees with estranged families. Actresses and actors. Movie celebrities.

You're really really peculiar.

Mr. Obtuse, What's your family name again?

flexyrule:
Mr. Obtuse, What's your family name again?

you're a bastard nobody whoring all over this thread, jumping from post to post looking for your father's name, no amount of quotes will fill up that void your absentee father left behind.

A perfect prototype of a single mother's poor marital choice.

Tough luck to you,
son of the damned!

Timoleon:


Do you honestly believe that every detail of their conversation is what was written in the thread? You really believe that the conversation went from 'i'd like for junior to try to get European citizenship (no response from the mother, no questions, no objections, no plannings, no scheduling) to her filling forms? Because this is what this thread says. He told her the boy should come over so he can get citizenship but when she was filling the forms she found it confusing that the boy would be 're-uniting with the father'.

You truly believe believe that's all it took for her to start filling the forms?

Read what she said. If she knew all you are writing, what is the essense of this thread? Go back again and read please. She is saying it seems the man want to deceive her into collecting 'her son'.

BadBradley:
you're a bastard nobody whoring all over this thread, jumping from post to post looking for your father's name.

A perfect prototype of a single mother's poor marital choice.

;

See who is advising someone about parenting....

Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain

flexyrule:
;

See who is advising someone about parenting....

Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain

you need more than a brain; you need your true identity. Bearing your mother's father's name will only make you be an internet vagabond reacting like a LovePeddler whenever you see posts like this

BadBradley:
you need more than a brain; you need your true identity. Bearing your mother's father's name will make you be an internet vagabond reacting like a LovePeddler whenever you see posts like this

What's your family name again?

That's the question that made you to bark like a mad dog...

Say it....

You’re like my dog. He also chases his tail for entertainment.

flexyrule:
What's your family name again?

That's the question that made you bark like a mad dog...

Say it....

I discovered you have quoted up to 10 people on this particular thread.

That's when I realise you're the son of an absentee father and full-time parasitic mom.

Learn to accept your fate. You're only the manifestation of your mother's sexual rascality and poor marital choice.

lawrenzooo:


My Dad's friend who is Canadian wanted to take me to Canada after secondary school for studies after asking if I would be interested and I answered in the affirmative.

All of a sudden the man went mute, after about 3 months I asked the man and he said my parent didn't consent, when i eventually asked my parent i realized it was my dad that refused, its been 18 years now and our relationship never remained the same.

Whatever decision you make put the child's interest first.

Your parents acted in your best interest so stop holding it against your father

BadBradley:
I discovered you have quoted up to 10 people on this particular thread.

That's when I realise you're the son of an absentee father and full-time parasitic mom.

Learn to accept your fate. You're only the manifestation of your mother's sexual rascality and poor marital choice.

Hey Mommy's little mistake,

Isn’t it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence?

Please, don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.

Ps. I haven't been reading the rubbish that you've been writing.

flexyrule:
Sure she did.

You that your mother made hard, can you afford common GARRI?

Hardman hardman... Shi shi, you no get!

You wan con advise people wey get Job and family.

Jewman

I'd rather drink garri than never knowing my father

redcliff:
I can tell an ignorant woman when i see one or hear them talk. go and look at the stats and you will discover that a single parent household where the man is the only parent is as good as a double parent household where both man and woman are present. but a single household where woman is the only parent has a negative effect on the child.. this is not my data, go and verify..

Nothing but the truth. This is why I can support a man getting surrogates to breed his children, but not a woman.

ChybuzzDD:


She's not the sole owner of the child and can't be the sole decision maker for him

This general female's possessiveness with regard to children needs to stop.

Go to court!

Printme:
I'd rather drink garri than never knowing my father

Luckily for you. You had both.

Congrats.

flexyrule:


Females hardly raise males...


Notorious B.I.G. was abandoned
by his father when he was 2.
.
.
.
Christina Aguilera
Christina Aguilera's parents,
Fausto Xavier Aguilera and
Shelly Loraine, divorced when
the "Genie in a Bottle" singer
was a little girl. Aguilera has
claimed that her father was
abusive.

Eddie Murphy
Eddie Murphy's father died
when he was very young. He
was raised by his mother,
Lillian, in Roosevelt, New York.


Keanu Reeves
Keanu Reeves's father, Samuel
Nowlin Reeves, Jr., abandoned
his family when the Matrix actor
was just three years old.

Someone talked about females hardly raising males to be strong men, and you are bringing a list that also contains females raised by women. Besides, I didn't know celebrity status achieved without a father or father figure shows that one is strong, discipline and stable man and not a puśsy, śimp, and bluepilled lover boy his mum raised him to be. Also, take note of the word "hardly"; it doesn't mean impossible.

Well, let us hear from Tupac Shakur, a man whose mother alienated him from his father and fed him lies that his father was dead. what does Tupac Shakur have to tell us

ChybuzzDD:


The acclaimed sole owner(woman) also can't travel with the child without the man's consent, unless she has some evidence of divorce or custody of the child.

So, it's a 2 way thing, because both couples have equal rights to the child.

A man go pay your bride price, feed you, pay your bills, house you, take care of your antenatal and postnatal periods, and at the end of the day, the child resulting from the union go come be your own, abi?

Story!

The law views things differently. In formative years, in the event of divorce, custody is normally given to the woman unless the man can prove before the law the the wife is grossly irresponsible. You can see she already has upper hand regardless of the shot you shot and how.many times you shot to score.

In case of travelling, if the woman shows she's a single parent, no one asks for father's approval.

I agree with parents should have equal rights but the law can be funny especially if the child is in his/formative age.

lawrenzooo:


My Dad's friend who is Canadian wanted to take me to Canada after secondary school for studies after asking if I would be interested and I answered in the affirmative.

All of a sudden the man went mute, after about 3 months I asked the man and he said my parent didn't consent, when i eventually asked my parent i realized it was my dad that refused, its been 18 years now and our relationship never remained the same.

Whatever decision you make put the child's interest first.

Kai!

Timoleon:


Word. Once the truth come out, that which she fears will happen and be multiplied in many folds.

That is if she cares about the boy and has remorse. She might not care if the boy likes her in future. All that matters to her now is to "win" against the husband.

flexyrule:
Hey Mommy's little mistake,

Isn’t it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence?

Please, don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.

Ps. I haven't been reading the rubbish that you've been writing.

The unsolicited opinion of Nairaland's foremost advocate for babymama-ism whose mother is the town bicycle everyone takes for a spin.

Heard she's been passed around more than a church offering bowl

We wouldn't have you here if she had exchanged first names first before spreading for the one who is the father you're looking for.

Slow inbred!

BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. He recently acquired an European citizenship, he also wants to extend the citizenship to our son. Though I thought it a good idea but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to use that to take him away from me.
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father. Or is that the way they process it?
Please those that have gone through same should please come to my aid, this is my only child and I can't afford to lose my child this way.

I don't know any country that will give citizenship to someone who isn't in the country; check the requirements for the country. All countries list their requirements online. Some you've to stay for a certain period. It's up to you to permit or reject the opportunity

BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. He recently acquired an European citizenship, he also wants to extend the citizenship to our son. Though I thought it a good idea but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to use that to take him away from me.
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father. Or is that the way they process it?
Please those that have gone through same should please come to my aid, this is my only child and I can't afford to lose my child this way.

please don't block the way of that innocent boy.

Nobody is taking him from you. I'm very sure there'll still be communication btw you . Children hardly forget their mother even if the man doesn't want him to communicate with you, when he keeps disturbing the father he will let him have his way most especially when you're a good mother.