BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. He recently acquired an European citizenship, he also wants to extend the citizenship to our son. Though I thought it a good idea but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to use that to take him away from me.
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father. Or is that the way they process it?
Please those that have gone through same should please come to my aid, this is my only child and I can't afford to lose my child this way.

of course, there must be an official reason for his visa application and citizenship application and he just gave the embassy one.

Now don't be a self centered stupid snowflake. The boy doesn't belong to you. Don't ruin his chances by your wicked female antics.

You and I know females hardly can raise a male.

Let him go and he will come back to you.

Hold on, he will never forgive you later

LilMissFavvy:
Don't release your child. You should only allow the boy to go when he's 18- 20yrs. If you release your child to him, he will definitely manipulate the boy and cut links with you. Keep your child. What stops him from taking you along? Be wise.

Take her along after divorce? What did you smoke? Since she can't endure her marriage,she should 3njoy the divorce

@OP You're perfectly fine.. you just want to benefit from the European visa so you'll go with your son.
Hanty is seeing grace on the ex-husband side and wants to tap into it

If U train your son to love his father or U keep away resentment towards his father from him, I don't think U need to panic about traveling to Europe for his education. Moreso, wether U like it or not don't be surprised that even U trained him alone the father will still benefit a lot from him.
So, firstly settle the score in-between both of you.

Justiceleague1:

Know this for sure,an 18yr old is an adult and won't be treated same way as a minor at the embassy.

And again,if you wanna follow the advice of people who will jump at this opportunity at the slightest chance,na you sabi,ooo,just know that the father would've gotten a wife and kids to be thinking about along with what and how to cater for an 18 yr old in Africa 😁😁😁

Continue dey play

Leave them make them dey talk nonsense. Na extreme selfishness dey worry them. The immigration policies now will almost definitely not be the same in six to eight years. Also, the father will not always be in this state of mind for the next six to eight year, if he eventually blanks them, he'll do it forever. I know people like that. You withold children from them, they leave the child to you.

Don’t let your bullshit emotions stop your son from getting the life he deserves

Timoleon:


I swear down. The last thing wey any woman fit use against me na to hold with old pikin from me. That pikin go hate her die

Dem dey do am well well
Shey you Dey see their comments?
Only a foolish woman will drag a child that doesn’t bear her name.
Women with fish brain

PoliteActivist:
*Politeness*
You know exactly what he is planning. He wants his son but not you. He has deviced a perfect way. If you allow this, trust me, you'll only be speaking to your son on the phone once in a while

And when the son becomes an adult nko!?

You people will just open mouth waaaaaa

Keep your child a little longer. He is still little to be without you. Your child will still be a minor in the next 7yrs at least. I'm afraid you might lose him if you let him go

Here in Nigeria, the child belongs to the father and he has the moral right to take him away. Legally you have no morals to take the custody of the child except his father wants to. The child will come back to you as his mother when he is mature

BlackfyreRebell:

If he had discussed that with me i would have seen reason. After all who doesn't want to see their kid progress

Case close, support that boy. May you live long

noskcid:

Keep misleading people 🤣

I tell you oooo...
Na proper "village people" be that person 😁

Hard decision to make but think of your son and his future. Also note, instances do change. May God guide you.

BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. He recently acquired an European citizenship, he also wants to extend the citizenship to our son. Though I thought it a good idea but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to use that to take him away from me.
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father. Or is that the way they process it?
Please those that have gone through same should please come to my aid, this is my only child and I can't afford to lose my child this way.

You ex-husband should come straight if he really mean well for your son. He cannot be trying to deceive in order to help your boy.

wrongnumber:


I understand the bond and love you have for your son.

I honestly understand but don't you think if you truly love him, you will want him to have a better education which is a good prerequisite for a potentially better future.

So please put the child first and let him go regardless of whatever you are consenting to.

If she loves the child, it won't be a hard decision to the child go to his biological father where he has a higher chance at a better life. What she cares about is 'winning the divorce'. She has the child and he's got nothing. For her, without the child, she gained nothing.

It's important to clarify any concerns you have. Contact your ex-husband to discuss the details of the citizenship application and express your concerns about the language in the form. Seek transparency and ensure you fully understand the process before giving consent. If needed, consult with legal advice to protect your interests and your relationship with your son

Are you filling his head with things you resent about his father?

You probably hurt the father and you wanna hide it from him

BlackfyreRebell:

What of a motherly influence? he just under 10.
The fact that he is being deceitful is what I dont understand. What if he takes him there and cut all communication with me? what if he fills his head with things he resent about me and I lose my son's love and affection?

Why did you separate? How long were you married? Has he remarried over there? Who will take care of the boy there?

Talk with him. Let that boy complete his school here. Once the father is a citizen, the son's citizenship can be processed any time. I believe at 10, it is not wise for the boy to go stay alone with the father there.

You both should reconcile and have your family together in Europe.

Before you become paranoid.... Ask yourself this question...
Can you give your son the kind of life here in 9ja...that his father will give to him over there in Europe??
If you can give him a decent life here....
And your son is old enough to understand your stance without thinking you don't mean well for him...then you can keep him...
But if you're not sure of giving him a good life here.... Then allow him go but make sure you get guarantee from your ex that his present wife won't in any way maltreat your son...
There is nothing to be paranoid about... What you're feeling is perfectly normal....
Pray to God for direction because it's decisions like these that can either make or destroy your son....
You need to get it right!!!

BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. He recently acquired an European citizenship, he also wants to extend the citizenship to our son. Though I thought it a good idea but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to use that to take him away from me.
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father. Or is that the way they process it?
Please those that have gone through same should please come to my aid, this is my only child and I can't afford to lose my child this way.

I just sincerely hope you will be able to explain better to "your son" how he ended up in this shithole years later, how quick you forget the boy is also his son and he wants the best for him just the same way you do. He is trying to be a responsible dad to his son. I really hope you alone can afford him that or else, he will grow up to hate you more for it if things go south. I understand you are trying to protect your son, but you also need to help him maximize every opportunity life throws at him and help him manage it going forward. Take that shot for him and pray it works out well. It is worth it, if you need legal advice, please take one. And for the nay-sayers, ignore them as they will kill for such opportunity for their own children.

BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. He recently acquired an European citizenship, he also wants to extend the citizenship to our son. Though I thought it a good idea but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to use that to take him away from me.
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father. Or is that the way they process it?
Please those that have gone through same should please come to my aid, this is my only child and I can't afford to lose my child this way.

You are guilty of some things
1. You have been feeding your son with bad info about his father

2. You don’t really love your son, you just want to hold him back to yourself because you feel that’s the only thing you can get from the marriage.

3. He will grow up one day and another woman will take him from you, by force by fire.

4. The boy no even Dey bear your name as his surname.

LilMissFavvy:
Don't release your child. You should only allow the boy to go when he's 18- 20yrs. If you release your child to him, he will definitely manipulate the boy and cut links with you. Keep your child. What stops him from taking you along? Be wise.

Take her along as what?
His Son's nanny?

BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. He recently acquired an European citizenship, he also wants to extend the citizenship to our son. Though I thought it a good idea but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to use that to take him away from me.
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father. Or is that the way they process it?
Please those that have gone through same should please come to my aid, this is my only child and I can't afford to lose my child this way.

Is it not better for you to let the boy go stay with his father so it will be easier for you to remarry?

Enskynelson:

You ex-husband should come straight if he really mean well for your son. He cannot be trying to deceive in order to help your boy.

How is that deceit? Is the statement not true that the boy wants to reunite with his father? Or is the man not his father? And after not being together for a while, will it not be a reunion when they meet again? Where is the lie?

Justiceleague1:

And when the son becomes an adult nko!?

You people will just open mouth waaaaaa

*Politeness*
Meaning what? You want your son to be with you in his formative years. Once they're adult they're out.
OP he's trying to get sole custody without court battle.
Can't believe you actually considered it

1TrippleCee:
Lawyers are not as expensive as people assume. Find and speak with a lawyer. Moreso, your son needs you, not an European visa. If he wants to get his son a visa, he should begin with the guardian first, in this case, you the mother.


You are a woman and a mother. Trust your guts, you are your prophet

.....
So even if she's not capable of giving her son the kind of life his father can give him, you still think her son doesn't need a European visa??
Bros... Alot of us wen travel come abroad... Na because of our kids....
No matter how you see it.... 9ja is not the best place to raise kids these days if you're not wealthy....
If she can give him a good life here in 9ja...ruen she can keep him... But if not.... She should let him go....
The man doesn't owe her any obligation of takin her abroad..... He cares about the welfare of his son only...

BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. He recently acquired an European citizenship, he also wants to extend the citizenship to our son. Though I thought it a good idea but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to use that to take him away from me.
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father. Or is that the way they process it?
Please those that have gone through same should please come to my aid, this is my only child and I can't afford to lose my child this way.

If you allow it, that's the end. You won't see your son again

Except you have plan to Japa later and remain in your son's life

BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. He recently acquired an European citizenship, he also wants to extend the citizenship to our son. Though I thought it a good idea but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to use that to take him away from me.
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father. Or is that the way they process it?
Please those that have gone through same should please come to my aid, this is my only child and I can't afford to lose my child this way.

If ur son is up to 6 years of age, what holding back to let him stay with his dad?

BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. He recently acquired an European citizenship, he also wants to extend the citizenship to our son. Though I thought it a good idea but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to use that to take him away from me.
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father. Or is that the way they process it?
Please those that have gone through same should please come to my aid, this is my only child and I can't afford to lose my child this way.

Yes...
The application must be "reunification with family" if ur son is to get permanent residence pali.....

How old is the boy that u worried his father wants to take him away ....or u are worried abroad will make the boy forget you??

If he's already in the range of 8years and above...no one can make him forget you

LilMissFavvy:
Don't release your child. You should only allow the boy to go when he's 18- 20yrs. If you release your child to him, he will definitely manipulate the boy and cut links with you. Keep your child. What stops him from taking you along? Be wise.

Women do this to men all the time therefore if a man does the same thing you should not loose your head because of it!

BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. He recently acquired an European citizenship, he also wants to extend the citizenship to our son. Though I thought it a good idea but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to use that to take him away from me.
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father. Or is that the way they process it?
Please those that have gone through same should please come to my aid, this is my only child and I can't afford to lose my child this way.

Ordinarily, as a man. I'm supposed to support your husband.

But I grew up with my mum, under similar circumstance, and I'll gladly advise you to keep your boy!

My mum wasn't doing too well, but she was able to afford us top-notch parental love, a decent eduction, clothes, food, and a roof over our head.

Everyone advised her to send us to our dad who was doing pretty well.

At the end, I'm glad I grew up under the care of my mum.

Till date, when I look back at my childhood, we might not have had a luxurious life, but the love she gave us was instrumental to everything that we've become today.

Dont let anyone confuse you. All that glitter isn't gold.

BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. He recently acquired an European citizenship, he also wants to extend the citizenship to our son. Though I thought it a good idea but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to use that to take him away from me.
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father. Or is that the way they process it?
Please those that have gone through same should please come to my aid, this is my only child and I can't afford to lose my child this way.

If you don't extend parental responsibility to the dad by signing above, then he is unlikely to be granted a visa.

He is also the father of your son. A boy without a father is a liability to the society. He needs a father as a compass to navigate the maze-hole of masculinity, as well as a mother to comfort him. No woman can teach a boy to be a man, as a woman has never walked in the shoes of a man.

If your ex is not a criminal, drug smuggler or dangerous person, I don't see why you are hiding his boy from him. His boy is the figure of his strength, his hope that his name will linger to the next generation.

All the best to your son, and the Lord be with him.