Kpai him so he will stop disgracing you... Nah Ur mate dey build house for their papa for township

TheBillyonaire:
From the points you raised, you have a good heart and also have the resources to expand your wealth. Whenever ever you experience constriction, do the opposite - Expand!

I know you mentioned that he wants 3-Bedroom Flat and wants to move in as early as February. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated. ASk him to be patient because you have a better plan for him.

Do some research on your State Capital or your Husband's Capital and and convince your husband to help out too because this is an opportunity to own a little more real real estate. Buy cheap land at the sub-urban that could be useful for you or your kids in the future and build a 3-Bedroom bungalow which he will move him and when he translates, the house is yours.

Ignore the idea of rent if you can afford to build a simple 3-Bedroom and tell him you are building a house for him, the news will restore his pride and yours and shut the lips of the naysayers and also buy him sometime to enjoy the village.

As for his Electric Pole business, it is a good idea, but he can start with Block Making business after the house is complete, there is a chance he can get back on his feet with it.

If u go by this advice (which i think is good), dont let him see the house documents please.

TheBillyonaire:
From the points you raised, you have a good heart and also have the resources to expand your wealth. Whenever ever you experience constriction, do the opposite - Expand!

I know you mentioned that he wants 3-Bedroom Flat and wants to move in as early as February. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated. ASk him to be patient because you have a better plan for him.

Do some research on your State Capital or your Husband's Capital and and convince your husband to help out too because this is an opportunity to own a little more real real estate. Buy cheap land at the sub-urban that could be useful for you or your kids in the future and build a 3-Bedroom bungalow which he will move him and when he translates, the house is yours.

Ignore the idea of rent if you can afford to build a simple 3-Bedroom and tell him you are building a house for him, the news will restore his pride and yours and shut the lips of the naysayers and also buy him sometime to enjoy the village.

As for his Electric Pole business, it is a good idea, but he can start with Block Making business after the house is complete, there is a chance he can get back on his feet with it.

In support to the above, seems your Dad is a technical person, so you can keep him busy with building of the 3 bedroom. let him be part of the construction team, like a supervisor or foreman if he has any suitable skill. Let him be commuting from home to the site while you dispense the fund to him. Ensure you husband is aware of this and be transparent in it. Let him channel the energy for his troubles to the building work after which he can reside there.

ManOfSon:
You're pretty much behaving like your father - like father like daughter. What do you stand to gain bringing your family's private issues to a worldwide forum? What exactly?

Did she mention her name or her father's?

AtoningBlood:
My story is long, please read and advise if you experience something similar with your retired parent, or how do you create a balance.

I can't just believe this will happen to him so quickly when it was just 2020 I told him never to go to the village. Ohhh,

Better focus on saving money for your children. He has accomodation, make sure food stuff is available and then look away rather look into your kids future than pampering another person's kid. Where is his mother ? Abeg stop letting that man manipulate you jor. He has roof, clothing, food and solar. Better use your tongue to count your teeth

AtoningBlood:
My story is long, please read and advise if you experience something similar with your retired parent, or how do you create a balance.

I can't just believe this will happen to him so quickly when it was just 2020 I told him never to go to the village. Ohhh,

I believe that it comes with the stage in life. It's called mid-life crisis, though some people experience it at an older age. they wake up one morning and make a life-altering decision, for someone who has lived a calculated life to just throw all caution into the wind.
My take is to make him seek medical help; I know we discriminate against such things, but he should really see a mental health specialist.
thank you.

Seems to me you already know what you will do lol...you are a grown adult...your Dad decided to move to the village against your advice. Let him sleep on the bed he has laid. You need to focus on your family or children. Don't let your parent or Dad stress your life...that is not fatherly.

AtoningBlood:
I need your input people.

3 years ago, my dad sold our house without informing anyone of us. Meanwhile, we all had things left at home, including my mum's items. He never told us where some of those things are till date.

He sold that house and went to the village, he immediately started having issues with the village people. Fight today, fight tomorrow. Everyone in the village I heard now disrespect him due to how he reveal his secrets to anyone who cares to listen.

My dad wants to leave the village to go rent an apartment in another state. His financial responsibility has been on me alone. My siblings abandoned him.

He's being nursing the idea of leaving the village and never informed me. Last november I spent almost 2 million naira fixing solar power and inverter for him in his house at the village and immediately after that he started saying he wants to leave the village..

I told my dad never to relocate to the village yet, that he should wait till his is older as he is still agile and all his friends are in the state where we lived or around. He also gets contracts once in a while so I don't bear much financial burden. But no, he failed to listen and sold our house and left.

My dad wants me to cough out another 1M to rent a house, he wants it big, 3 bedroom. I told him to look for a 2 bedroom but he said where would visitors stay.

I am not even comfortable seeing him in a rented apartment, what would my cousins say, they would mock us. I have some of them who are very naughty. He is bringing shame in us.

We have two properties and my husband wants him to come and stay in one, I vehemently disagreed because he will be controlling us, some of my extended family members will come visiting him and carry the news to the village, as well as discussing my own family and I don't want that. They contributed to what is happening to him now. Through him, some of them will come to stay and I can not start what I can't continue with. So I told my husband to dead that idea fast.

He wants to leave the village latest by February. How do I convince him to get a 2 bedroom flat? 3 bedroom would mean 3 mattresses, and everything triple. My dad doesn't like anything less. All the expenses will be on me alone. My siblings don't care.

I can't turn deaf ears to his needs. I don't want him in the village and I hate to see him in a rented apartment but that is what it is now.

I need contructive advice especially those of us with retired parents, how do you relate with their needs? I told him to think of a small trade so he won't be idle like he's been since retirement and he is talking about setting up electrical pole business, I laughed. Sebi he wan rek me. Same way he did not manage hid wealth.

AtoningBlood:
My siblings don't care. He can't even tell them of his plans.

So why should you care and carry the burden alone?
Continue with your beast of burden oversabi care and see how you will end.

AtoningBlood:
I need your input people.

3 years ago, my dad sold our house without informing anyone of us. Meanwhile, we all had things left at home, including my mum's items. He never told us where some of those things are till date.

He sold that house and went to the village, he immediately started having issues with the village people. Fight today, fight tomorrow. Everyone in the village I heard now disrespect him due to how he reveal his secrets to anyone who cares to listen.

My dad wants to leave the village to go rent an apartment in another state. His financial responsibility has been on me alone. My siblings abandoned him.

He's being nursing the idea of leaving the village and never informed me. Last november I spent almost 2 million naira fixing solar power and inverter for him in his house at the village and immediately after that he started saying he wants to leave the village..

I told my dad never to relocate to the village yet, that he should wait till his is older as he is still agile and all his friends are in the state where we lived or around. He also gets contracts once in a while so I don't bear much financial burden. But no, he failed to listen and sold our house and left.

My dad wants me to cough out another 1M to rent a house, he wants it big, 3 bedroom. I told him to look for a 2 bedroom but he said where would visitors stay.

I am not even comfortable seeing him in a rented apartment, what would my cousins say, they would mock us. I have some of them who are very naughty. He is bringing shame in us.

We have two properties and my husband wants him to come and stay in one, I vehemently disagreed because he will be controlling us, some of my extended family members will come visiting him and carry the news to the village, as well as discussing my own family and I don't want that. They contributed to what is happening to him now. Through him, some of them will come to stay and I can not start what I can't continue with. So I told my husband to dead that idea fast.

He wants to leave the village latest by February. How do I convince him to get a 2 bedroom flat? 3 bedroom would mean 3 mattresses, and everything triple. My dad doesn't like anything less. All the expenses will be on me alone. My siblings don't care.

I can't turn deaf ears to his needs. I don't want him in the village and I hate to see him in a rented apartment but that is what it is now.

I need contructive advice especially those of us with retired parents, how do you relate with their needs? I told him to think of a small trade so he won't be idle like he's been since retirement and he is talking about setting up electrical pole business, I laughed. Sebi he wan rek me. Same way he did not manage hid wealth.

Wow, so a daughter can love her Dad this much.

And I been say I no go born girl child.

Lemme think if I will change my mind on that.

Una too dey lie.


Imagination wan Kee una

dangermouse:
Since you don't want him near you house, then you should rent a house for him somewhere far from you.

I understand your pains. He is truly not considerate.

After renting the house for him try and read the riot acts to him.

He is just manipulating you emotionally.

Your siblings that abandoned him knows better

what I deduced from the story,is that the man maybe the type that brags too much

Foodqueen:
Let reality hit him. Abandon him like your other siblings do.

Funny things about father's like this,, is that you aren't even his favorite. He wouldn't waste any time to talk you down before anyone that cares to listen.

Na wa o...see how you just imported your own experience into someone else's situation without knowing them at all. Hopefully she is wise enough to sift through all these replies.

Ahmed0336:
OP you're too weak for my liking.
You're even begging him to manage two bedroom flat?

I don't have advice to waste, do as you please.

the man is the type dat brags at old age.....I was dis I was dat kind of man

Your dad and my dad should be blood or brothers from another family, my father is a pain in my life, I warned him never to sell his house here in the city, he insisted refused all my plea, now he has exhausted the money, after the whole stress I ended up renting him an apartment, now am like an ATM to him, my husband is now complaining of my dad frequent demands. I don taya too.

AtoningBlood:
I need your input people.

3 years ago, my dad sold our house without informing anyone of us. Meanwhile, we all had things left at home, including my mum's items. He never told us where some of those things are till date.

He sold that house and went to the village, he immediately started having issues with the village people. Fight today, fight tomorrow. Everyone in the village I heard now disrespect him due to how he reveal his secrets to anyone who cares to listen.

My dad wants to leave the village to go rent an apartment in another state. His financial responsibility has been on me alone. My siblings abandoned him.

He's being nursing the idea of leaving the village and never informed me. Last november I spent almost 2 million naira fixing solar power and inverter for him in his house at the village and immediately after that he started saying he wants to leave the village..

I told my dad never to relocate to the village yet, that he should wait till his is older as he is still agile and all his friends are in the state where we lived or around. He also gets contracts once in a while so I don't bear much financial burden. But no, he failed to listen and sold our house and left.

My dad wants me to cough out another 1M to rent a house, he wants it big, 3 bedroom. I told him to look for a 2 bedroom but he said where would visitors stay.

I am not even comfortable seeing him in a rented apartment, what would my cousins say, they would mock us. I have some of them who are very naughty. He is bringing shame in us.

We have two properties and my husband wants him to come and stay in one, I vehemently disagreed because he will be controlling us, some of my extended family members will come visiting him and carry the news to the village, as well as discussing my own family and I don't want that. They contributed to what is happening to him now. Through him, some of them will come to stay and I can not start what I can't continue with. So I told my husband to dead that idea fast.

He wants to leave the village latest by February. How do I convince him to get a 2 bedroom flat? 3 bedroom would mean 3 mattresses, and everything triple. My dad doesn't like anything less. All the expenses will be on me alone. My siblings don't care.

I can't turn deaf ears to his needs. I don't want him in the village and I hate to see him in a rented apartment but that is what it is now.

I need contructive advice especially those of us with retired parents, how do you relate with their needs? I told him to think of a small trade so he won't be idle like he's been since retirement and he is talking about setting up electrical pole business, I laughed. Sebi he wan rek me. Same way he did not manage hid wealth.

You definitely took after your so called father because just like your father, you reveals your family secret to anyone who cares to listen, but as for me I don't care.

AtoningBlood:
I need your input people.

3 years ago, my dad sold our house without informing anyone of us. Meanwhile, we all had things left at home, including my mum's items. He never told us where some of those things are till date.

He sold that house and went to the village, he immediately started having issues with the village people. Fight today, fight tomorrow. Everyone in the village I heard now disrespect him due to how he reveal his secrets to anyone who cares to listen.

My dad wants to leave the village to go rent an apartment in another state. His financial responsibility has been on me alone. My siblings abandoned him.

He's being nursing the idea of leaving the village and never informed me. Last november I spent almost 2 million naira fixing solar power and inverter for him in his house at the village and immediately after that he started saying he wants to leave the village..

I told my dad never to relocate to the village yet, that he should wait till his is older as he is still agile and all his friends are in the state where we lived or around. He also gets contracts once in a while so I don't bear much financial burden. But no, he failed to listen and sold our house and left.

My dad wants me to cough out another 1M to rent a house, he wants it big, 3 bedroom. I told him to look for a 2 bedroom but he said where would visitors stay.

I am not even comfortable seeing him in a rented apartment, what would my cousins say, they would mock us. I have some of them who are very naughty. He is bringing shame in us.

We have two properties and my husband wants him to come and stay in one, I vehemently disagreed because he will be controlling us, some of my extended family members will come visiting him and carry the news to the village, as well as discussing my own family and I don't want that. They contributed to what is happening to him now. Through him, some of them will come to stay and I can not start what I can't continue with. So I told my husband to dead that idea fast.

He wants to leave the village latest by February. How do I convince him to get a 2 bedroom flat? 3 bedroom would mean 3 mattresses, and everything triple. My dad doesn't like anything less. All the expenses will be on me alone. My siblings don't care.

I can't turn deaf ears to his needs. I don't want him in the village and I hate to see him in a rented apartment but that is what it is now.

I need contructive advice especially those of us with retired parents, how do you relate with their needs? I told him to think of a small trade so he won't be idle like he's been since retirement and he is talking about setting up electrical pole business, I laughed. Sebi he wan rek me. Same way he did not manage hid wealth.

This same things my father did too

TENHEU22:
should in case you take this advice, please don't tell him you build a house for him, tell him is rented, because if he can sell his own house, he can equally sell this one.

TheBillyonaire:
From the points you raised, you have a good heart and also have the resources to expand your wealth. Whenever ever you experience constriction, do the opposite - Expand!

I know you mentioned that he wants 3-Bedroom Flat and wants to move in as early as February. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated. ASk him to be patient because you have a better plan for him.

Do some research on your State Capital or your Husband's Capital and and convince your husband to help out too because this is an opportunity to own a little more real real estate. Buy cheap land at the sub-urban that could be useful for you or your kids in the future and build a 3-Bedroom bungalow which he will move him and when he translates, the house is yours.

Ignore the idea of rent if you can afford to build a simple 3-Bedroom and tell him you are building a house for him, the news will restore his pride and yours and shut the lips of the naysayers and also buy him sometime to enjoy the village.

As for his Electric Pole business, it is a good idea, but he can start with Block Making business after the house is complete, there is a chance he can get back on his feet with it.

should in case you take this advice, please don't tell him you build a house for him, tell him is rented, because he can sell his own house, he can equally sell this one.

Sorry to say, your dad is wicked and self-centred.

bjbjjo:
I pity your husband! You and your dad want to send the poor man to his early grave

I didn't want to say this but that's what is exactly in my mind. Remember you'll be the widow.

For my language, it get one adage when say…,if you want best chest, make you beat your own.

E be like say your papa dey beat chest but na una own him dey beat.

Well na because una give am chest beat na him make am, remove the chest or reduce the square area of una chest wen him dey beat, him go decode come adjust.

AtoningBlood:


My siblings don't care. He can't even tell them of his plans.

Your father is acting like he is 17years old.

AtoningBlood:
I need your input people.

3 years ago, my dad sold our house without informing anyone of us. Meanwhile, we all had things left at home, including my mum's items. He never told us where some of those things are till date.

He sold that house and went to the village, he immediately started having issues with the village people. Fight today, fight tomorrow. Everyone in the village I heard now disrespect him due to how he reveal his secrets to anyone who cares to listen.

My dad wants to leave the village to go rent an apartment in another state. His financial responsibility has been on me alone. My siblings abandoned him.

He's being nursing the idea of leaving the village and never informed me. Last november I spent almost 2 million naira fixing solar power and inverter for him in his house at the village and immediately after that he started saying he wants to leave the village..

I told my dad never to relocate to the village yet, that he should wait till his is older as he is still agile and all his friends are in the state where we lived or around. He also gets contracts once in a while so I don't bear much financial burden. But no, he failed to listen and sold our house and left.

My dad wants me to cough out another 1M to rent a house, he wants it big, 3 bedroom. I told him to look for a 2 bedroom but he said where would visitors stay.

I am not even comfortable seeing him in a rented apartment, what would my cousins say, they would mock us. I have some of them who are very naughty. He is bringing shame in us.

We have two properties and my husband wants him to come and stay in one, I vehemently disagreed because he will be controlling us, some of my extended family members will come visiting him and carry the news to the village, as well as discussing my own family and I don't want that. They contributed to what is happening to him now. Through him, some of them will come to stay and I can not start what I can't continue with. So I told my husband to dead that idea fast.

He wants to leave the village latest by February. How do I convince him to get a 2 bedroom flat? 3 bedroom would mean 3 mattresses, and everything triple. My dad doesn't like anything less. All the expenses will be on me alone. My siblings don't care.

I can't turn deaf ears to his needs. I don't want him in the village and I hate to see him in a rented apartment but that is what it is now.

I need contructive advice especially those of us with retired parents, how do you relate with their needs? I told him to think of a small trade so he won't be idle like he's been since retirement and he is talking about setting up electrical pole business, I laughed. Sebi he wan rek me. Same way he did not manage hid wealth.

Madam tell him you don't have.money, see I tell you now take it or leave it, now that you have small money invest it for yourself and kids, everyday is not Christmas. He should remain in the village. Don't say I didn't warn you.
He's a waster and an inconsiderate person. Take it or leave it. Apart from upkeep, don't give him anything unnecessary.

My 2scents is go straight to point, make him know you can and would only get him a two bedroom apartment and he should manage it for now........ Probably in two years or a year time you wouldn't get him a 3bedroom

Pacify him to come to the two bedrooms first later he would get something bigger once he takes the bait you leave him there and keep posting him till he is comfortable with it.

As for coming to stay with you is a big NO and for what people would say You should Careless ........ They would always have something to say .


Best of luck to convincing him and more money to your pockets to keep everyone comfortable.

TheBillyonaire:
From the points you raised, you have a good heart and also have the resources to expand your wealth. Whenever ever you experience constriction, do the opposite - Expand!

I know you mentioned that he wants 3-Bedroom Flat and wants to move in as early as February. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated. ASk him to be patient because you have a better plan for him.

Do some research on your State Capital or your Husband's Capital and and convince your husband to help out too because this is an opportunity to own a little more real real estate. Buy cheap land at the sub-urban that could be useful for you or your kids in the future and build a 3-Bedroom bungalow which he will move him and when he translates, the house is yours.

Ignore the idea of rent if you can afford to build a simple 3-Bedroom and tell him you are building a house for him, the news will restore his pride and yours and shut the lips of the naysayers and also buy him sometime to enjoy the village.

As for his Electric Pole business, it is a good idea, but he can start with Block Making business after the house is complete, there is a chance he can get back on his feet with it.

That her father can still dramatically sell that property, possibly after quarreling with other landlords in that community.

TheBillyonaire:
From the points you raised, you have a good heart and also have the resources to expand your wealth. Whenever ever you experience constriction, do the opposite - Expand!

I know you mentioned that he wants 3-Bedroom Flat and wants to move in as early as February. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated. ASk him to be patient because you have a better plan for him.

Do some research on your State Capital or your Husband's Capital and and convince your husband to help out too because this is an opportunity to own a little more real real estate. Buy cheap land at the sub-urban that could be useful for you or your kids in the future and build a 3-Bedroom bungalow which he will move him and when he translates, the house is yours.

Ignore the idea of rent if you can afford to build a simple 3-Bedroom and tell him you are building a house for him, the news will restore his pride and yours and shut the lips of the naysayers and also buy him sometime to enjoy the village.

As for his Electric Pole business, it is a good idea, but he can start with Block Making business after the house is complete, there is a chance he can get back on his feet with it.

Best advice if you are somehow not assertive. He's manipulating your emotions. Where you can't take such firm decisions, give in or lock up your mind.

Please make sure .you ask him how he spent the money.i don't trust all this local 419 . maybe they the one collecting more from him

AtoningBlood:
Thanks, I have decided on what to do. Thanks to everyone who gave meaningful thoughts.

Since you know that you are going to decide so soon, why disturbing us here

AtoningBlood:


My siblings don't care. He can't even tell them of his plans.

He's blackmailing you. You think you care?
Allow him to himself for a year, his senses will come back.

I wanted to give you an advice from my experience, but I read where you wrote that you are bother about what people will say,then I just know you won't make any use of any advice.

Where's your mom?

Maybe he has another family somewhere where he wants to relocate with them